1 more day that phil and michelle stay up here... and i'm not even too sure that it's gonna be at least a 8 hr AWAKE period... nevertheless, we did do a few things up here... like fix my car... hang around together at the valley fair... should've done more... like, i wanted to play ball w/phil... i can't remember the last time we played 1 on 1; it's just been such a long time... well, we did play nba 2k together... i whooped him:
warriors > lakers
celtics > hornets
twolves > blazers
kings > blazers
then we play nfl 2k together, and since i haven't really played that game, he whups me pretty badly: green bay > niners, 23-3
(i should order replacement dc controllers; both of ours are shot to hell)

conan's just way too funny; i've gotta quote(paraphrasing what i can't remember) what he said about Lord of the Rings 3:
"it made over a quarter of a billion dollars (audience whoops)... yea i know; in fact, the lines were so jam packed outside that the police had to use GIRLS to keep everyone in order (he then proceeds to act like a nerd who's never seen a girl's cleavage before)"

i kinda wanna write more, but i wanna get the most outta tomorrow xmas day, so i'll just end with this comic strip i have on my wall at home:

ever remember mallard fillmore? this was a comic of a male duck that just sorta wasn't too funny. however, he did post some good stuff every easter and xmas, reminding everyone what it was all about... remember el nino? ykno, the warm ocean current that was gonna screw our weather and blast everything to hell?

bald guy: when it's over with, how much do you think this "el nino's" gonna shake up the world?

mallard: not that much...
...compared to the first el nino...

the 3rd frame reads:
"For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the LORD"
Luke 2:12

merry christmas everyone and God bless; i'm out...

man, only 2 more days that phil and michelle get to stay up here w/me...

plus side of being a spare-time songwriter, but not currently being on a worship team:
-i get to work with the drop db tuning a LOT more w/o worrying about retuning the guitar(still want another electric guitar for this purpose, and still want a delay pedal, but i understand phil's not the richest person in the world, and has to worry about parenting about 5 months later, so i'll have to think about solving this one on my own[btw, it's gonna be a boy]):

C#, G#, C#(octave higher), F#, Bb, Fb

hope to have the song finished completely by break's end...

btw... can you believe just how much ppl suck up to vince carter? it's like when kobe stopped being constant on the top 10 of the week, that ppl HAAAVE to suck up to him now...

fall quarter's over for me, like it or not...

but jon's not... and since we carpooled, :(

*sigh*... 1 more day up here... i wanna be home w/my mom, or songwriting, or something... but not up here...

technically, i'm done w/the fall quarter; i have only 1 more final to go, and it's my easiest class... gonna have some fun cramming tonight... man, i've done to hell my sleep schedule this week... at least 2 times i've pulled all nighters out of fear of not doing my best on the finals as i would like. i just wanna be able to go to sleep at 11:00 after a nice shower each night and wake up at 7:00 refreshed, but that'll never happen partially because i waste time...

the most interesting philosophy question i've gotten today during my Ethical and Social Problems in Contemporary Society final; usually philosophy questions i get in the past philosophy classes up here i brush aside, but i was chewing on this one for a bit. i'll try to paraphrase it for you readers:

suppose a medieval scientist desires to create an advanced form of a dog by genetic breeding and giving them voice boxes and artificial hands... essentially, he desires to create a dog who can think and interact with humans. he disappears into canadian wilderness and we never hear from him again...
in 1999, we discover about a group of 1,000 such dogs living like they're 19th century high-class Prussian ppl... after a celebrated public notice, they move to NYC where they begin to partake in human activities; namely business, entertainment, and the like ventures. however, after beginning to interact with humans, they slowly begin to contract a disease that transforms them back to their canine instincts. essentially, they would lose all of their human intelligence. now, not all of the dogs have this disease, but it is inevitable that all of them will eventually contract and sucuumb to it. except one dog which appears to be immune; this dog is named Ludwig. it's possible you can extract a cure for this disease if you can perform many painful and unbearable experiments upon him. however, Ludwig is not willing to partake in the experiment voluntarily, and as a fatalist, chooses that once all but him sucuumb to the disease, that he will kill himself.

that said, is it right or wrong to perform those experiments upon Ludwig?

essentially, this question tested the lessons we learned on abortion(just like how a mother refuses to let a baby live over her own happiness) and animal cruelty... and so what it essentially comes down to is that if we do the experiments, we have a good chance of saving this race; one dog's selfish ambition pales to his entire race(consequentialist argument)... however, it is right to torture a dog? and now think: he's a dog who can think like a human, essentially making him one. would we torture a human against his will too? also, in light of the abortion side, this would be like a case of rape; we subject the dog unwillingly to the experiments, and force him to bear the burden to save another group of dogs... we normally allow for cases of rape in abortion cases, but what about this?

so even though the final doesn't say what you have to say, only that you back it up, i answered in favor of the experiments, but i couldn't help but wonder just really what would I do if i were in the situation in real life. is one being's life worth sacrificing to save a whole race, and what if the being is unwilling to cooperate?

what do you think?

queen of hearts 98 is pretty friggin fun... it's a fighting game between japanese anime school girls(don't worry, it's not hentai :D) if you thought capcom's combo system was thrown out of the window, i beg to differ... here, you can link all over the place... stuff like crouching lightx2, crouching heavy, crouching medium, standing heavy, standing lightx2, jumping lightx3... i need to get a gamepad when i return...

but perhaps the greatest gem i've found today is this:
BBQ(Yakiniku)
a small freeware game where you COOK your own japanese bbq beef!! that's so cool... very unique game concept... got a buncha giggles from me everytime i made the beef look black; then the customer got pissed... actually, according to the FAQ, the customer was me, cause that green bar is actually my health bar :D but it is very entertaining... i like how the beef actually browns very fast, just like how sukiyaki beef would realistically brown... man, i should goad mom into going to hot pot city or something... now i want asian bbq... dl the game readers... it's not large, not too complex to play, a good break in between your work...

virtual on is so friggin fun... check it out at the abandonware site... it's like robotech/transformers/what not gone fighting game... like one must fall, but modified to use the 3D environment... once i get a gamepad i'm playing this like crazy... my only stipulation is for some reason the software doesn't work as well w/my laptop... if i die playing against the cpu using certain characters the game automatically exits. ah well... it's still fun to play.

2 down, 2 left to go... technically, it's over thursday though, cause my easiest class is on friday...

list of things to do during break:
-buy phil a xmas present(i don't buy gifts for my mom... except authentic davis fruit, haha...)
-get hair cut... if this thing on my head lasts any longer i'm gonna look like a genuine authentic fob
-get saturn fixed, and figure out how to tow the damn thing outta the garage
-record at least one song before break ends(if anything else, i hope this occurs during break, and it better be good)
-help finish phil's song(which i have never gotten around to; damn i'm flaky sometimes)
-try to record some samples for sam(again, this shows my flaky side)
-keep up to date w/org chem(i HATE this course! well, it's partially my fault cause i should be studying this thing 24/7, but i don't, but it just seems harder to me than bio which comes so easy for me) and bio
-maybe start my own form of bball conditioning to build my stamina and hops...
-get a gamepad
-almost forgot this: GET MY BIBLE READING ON... i have almost neglected coming to God during school... if you go by whether i do daily bible readings... also, i'm considering fasting during each school month for 2 days... it might help me keep my focus...(i will consider that along the weird notion i had of getting up early on sunday morning to sprint to UCD and all the way back to my apt every sunday)
THINGS NOT TO DO DURING BREAK:
-slack off and sleep in and put off everything i plan like i do with every single break
-play all my cpu games to death and put off everything i put above...

they say chance favors the prepared mind, which is why crammers are less healthy than the nerds... i'm a nerd w/untapped potential... hence why i am not that healthy during finals week...

turns out i was fuming about nothing when it came to my winter schedule... i got it all fixed out now just now... god is good... to me... sometimes... by the superficial standpoint...

may god have mercy on us two ucd peeps... we try to strive for what we're supposed to do, but we almost always come up short...

my favorite week of nba top 10 is STILL week 2... 3 reels by ginobili(the pump fake reverse going between the two jazz was sick, and duncan's finish from him was also rapage), 2 of jrich, lebron, etc...

why must all you mainstream white christians rock slow? :D

duncan posted 47 pts, 12 rebounds in the win against magic... crazy...

i'm starting to believe that trading walker away for lefrentz was a bad idea(what, it took you THIS long to realize that?!?)... celtics just aren't doing good this year so far... they haven't even broken even... it's one thing to trade him away for some height cause you lack it, but you trade away an all-star for a bench player, don't even let him start, and are not doing good right now... soooo...

kings twolves game was amazing... IMO i was hoping kings would win this one, but you can't win them all... kg was superb, and cassell and spre were both hot... in fact, spre was doing monstrous on the offensive end... miller was also amazing... kg had an amazing block against bobby jackson... just came outta nowhere on the transition defense and swatted away the easy layup... but haha... later jackson would also come outta nowhere to swat kg's shot away... that was sweet... too bad the 1st will make the highlight reel, not the 2nd one...

dennis rodman was on the best damn sports show period... haha...

go comfort joe when you have time... tuffy passed away... i liked the dog, but she seemed cranky towards other dogs... i remember when chris liu was visiting our church again and alice brought oski and someone else (eva maybe?) brought her dog, and jean brought tuffy, and even though she's this tiny assed furball, was barking the yell at the other two even when the others were trying to be friendly(oski especially) and scaring the hell outta them... overall, she was this cool furball who skittered all over joe's crib and didn't care a thing about going anywhere...

i know that mistakes in life are just blips on the screen; one or two here and there but they won't make a difference... i may just have gotten myself out of the A range from bio(by accidentally oversleeping and not taking a QUIZ), might have gotten screwed over in org chem, might have botched a chance to get closer to the reqd 3.5 gpa for med school, but in the end, it won't matter. but then, this principle, for all its theory, is very hard to shallow... sometimes i see mistakes as one screw-up in a combo in a capcom fighting game... if one hit's off by the slightest timing, everything else comes crashing down...

that said, you can always fix the future, just not the past, by concentrating upon the present, soooo....
-when i get close to only 3 hrs of sleep during a night cramming, i will set my alarm clock to ALARM, not RADIO... hard times demands harsh actions... i will catch up on sleep one week later...

we look down on those of us who are more boisterous about their negative feelings, but in actuality, we all feel that way sometimes... some of us are just more politically correct about things...

i'm seriously considering the possibility of fasting maybe 2 days/month that i am in school... i never leave time for God, and this is a way not only to have to set that time aside for God, but on a small way take care of some of my food problems... feel that sometimes i run out of food pretty quickly... oh yea, i should consider running hard and fast every sunday morning, since i don't really exercise up here either...

man, it appears that more and more evanescence is looking more like a "creed," ie you don't know whether they're selling christianity or not:

read this rolling stones article

and indeed i started questioning them a bit too; even though i had known the lead two were christians, the lyrics that i heard lately sounded more like things out of linkin park(ie lyrics that sound like this relationship isn't working, let's break it, you're drowning me, etc)...

"Despite that intensity(Moody stated he was intense with Christ), God shows up on only two tracks on Fallen, "Tourniquet" and "Whisper," and the group's propensity to drink, swear and act like normal, everyday human beings has caused the album to be pulled from Christian record stores. This hasn't hurt sales, though, which continue to climb week after week."

this is the only hope of the band; they state that they haven't finished stating their message yet:

""You know how you were talking about misconceptions?" Lee says. "We've only just begun. Just be open-minded. You don't know us yet. We hope that you can.""

so that may be good... (i hope...) in the meantime, at least i'm glad 12 stones is christian all the way... their songs are definitely christian... too bad they don't get recognition like evanescence does... not by the christian industry, and not by the secular industry... just from guys like me who love modern rock with extremely talented licks coming from the lead guitarist... it does seem at times that ppl think they're secular(maybe they don't really spread the word onstage, just by their music?), and the secular industry thinks they're christian(which would explain why i NEVER hear them on any secular rock station)

but then for the guys who DO get rave reviews all i need to do is listen to jeremy camp(robin parrish of cmcentral.com must like him, which IS GOOD), and sanctus real(they beat 75 local rock bands to win a radio show contest, that kinda already says of the good stuff they're made of)...

ok, gotta study

so it was kinda cool when i was all frantic today with the amount of cramming of catching up i have to do when i realized that the bio class was canceled... praise God... only to find out just a few minutes ago that it was due to the teacher's son being sick... not due to the fact that she didn't have anything to teach... *damn*... at least tomorrow's just gonna be review...

God, please help me when i cram these next few days... please supply the desire, and the ability to put my arcade stuff aside and just cram... in fact, help the others too...

man, spurs lose to lakers by THIS CLOSE! 4 pts! cmon duncan, you should've been working the mailman all night! seriously!

and warriors lose to nuggets... man, it's like they just gave out in the final seconds... i'm watching the game update, and it got from a close deficit to about 8 pts like that...

those socal girls are just plain weird(going by what i saw on lydia's profile)... haha... that's why us college guys should just swear off the girls completely until we're around 24 or something...

michelle branch - breathe

seven places - landslide

so it's crunch time again aka uc finals week... do you ask for the rock? do you give someone else the rock? i wish there was a third option; that it was still 3rd quarter... better yet, i wish it were still halftime, when i could get a chance to take a breather...

cracked me up seeing this on joe's xanga site:

"I miss my dog. I tried to talk to her on the phone the other day. Don't think it worked"

next time we organize a praise night, i'll start WAAY earlier... small turnout this year because i sent out an email on a saturday before the event(if i have done so before then, the counselors could've told the others about the event on friday), couldn't get the sound to work for close to an hour when we first arrived, then wes all of a sudden says he's not going at the last moment, jerm arrives late, etc, etc, etc... yes, i know that the object of worship is God... but if i get the minor details outta the way first, doesn't it make it that much more easier to concentrate upon God? (of course, you could always counter that if i concentrate upon God first, the minor details disappear) that said, it was neat being able to worship next to the current worship leaders of the youth, sam and clement... musically i know they have deep potential... they just need to practice... funny how the thing they need to get down is to get a good strumming pattern down... with me, i kinda just follow the rhythm when i'm strumming, but it's kinda sporadic... eh, different ppl, different difficulties i guess... bob, you need to teach them some strumming stuff... or wait til winter break, when i'm back...

laura played with her new dark blue bass for the first time that night... um, maybe someone should've practiced some during school, instead of just panicking when wes all of a sudden doesn't show up(NOOO! richard, call him back! i can't play bass!)... then jerm couldn't figure out how to write "Schwarzenegger" for a prayer request, so he just wrote "pray for our governor..." that was funny... um, yea.

but it was fun...

warriors > spurs, +2... awesome...

went to rib crib for my pre-bday and jerm's post-bday... it was funny how fast i inhaled the free desert oreo sundae, even though me and jerm got the same thing and started at the same time... jerm was so full he passed his desert around, while when they turned back to look at me i had nearly finished mine... man, seriously i wonder if i have a naturally fast metabolism... it seems that no matter what i eat, my weight currently AVERAGES out to 128-131 lbs... eh, it'll probably catch up to me when i'm past 25 yrs... but i should exercise more... even this type of diet isn't good for you. it might be due to the fact that i move pretty fast, but eh...

damnit, and my saturn's engine just gave out on saturday night RIGHT after i got back from mike's house... at least there's some good to this, like that fact that it was in my garage when it gave out, on a thanksgiving break, right after getting a smog check, but uh, um...

man, i wrote so much i have no time to study before bio class... i guess i'm just gonna end this blog, shut the laptop off and go to class early...

oh yea, thanks to all who wished me a happy bday... jerm, where's MY gift man?

getting bogged down w/praise night preps... that seems to be the big thing going on for me this week... and it doesn't help that i'm the only one sending the emails and no one is replying back... maybe i should add "heart of worship" into the routine just to remind myself what it's all about...

stumbled upon the classic "christian rock good or bad?" debate(it never dies, doesn't it? and it probably won't for as long as some ppl can't accept rock) in one forum trying to search for chords and lyrics for some of the praise night songs... what amazes me is how some old ppl think christian rock and christian hip-hop are bad... they see the guy moshing around, guitar turned up to 10, heavy distortion on so hard the speaker's getting feedback, and they somehow think it's bad... (or in the case of a hip-hopper, he's yelling so many words into the mic you can't tell what he's saying)... but those ppl need to remember that almost that the hymns were first considered devilish in their own right when those started emerging... so we should ban those too? do we just listen to jewish music then? also, consider this: christianity is not a religion built upon customs... that debate was ended in acts a short while after God made Peter see the light and how christians don't need to do "kosher" things... and let's not even get into how i do solo worship...

me and jon showed up late for fellowship yesterday... but anyways, they were putting on a praise night of their own... songs were slow... but the attitude was sincere... it was like a couple of songs, prayer time, then rinse and repeat... since it was the late fellowship of the quarter, after that there was a bunch of photos on a slideshow for recap...

anyways, it was just good to have this thing... too bad i was sleepy from cramming for the org chem test... (man, i still have to improve my study habits...) but anyhow, good for getting myself into the whole praise night mentality...

god is great, and his praise fills the earth, fills the heavens, cause we're living for the glory of your name, the glory of your name

dante hall of the kansas city chiefs owns...

i thought i'd mention that... i really haven't been keeping up w/football, until i saw him appear as a guest on the best damn sports show period... and saw his october 6th performance against the denver broncos... i wish i could find the clip online, cause if you saw it you would've left your mouth way open... he shook the ENTIRE broncos defensive line! i was just getting awed watching this guy recieve a kickoff, then do all these fakes and you just see the defensive line collapsing trying to follow where this guy is going... he then breaks through the line and runs it for a touchdown...

i just spent some time at www.nba.com/history and watched the video clips of the greatest plays of all time(i haven't subscribed to IT, but you can watch the 56K clips for free)... damn... you don't know highlight reels til you see those... ol skool... not as much shaking and baking off of good dribbling(first to do so was AI on MJ i think), but the stuff they did in the air as well as their defensive stops were unbelievable... my mouth was gaping... mj, how many highlight reels can you make? it is really unbelievable how much he can change his moves and adjust when driving to the rack and going up for a layup.

there's an angry noob at the arcade getting frustrated at a fighting game playing AGAINST THE CPU, but EXPRESSING HIS EMOTIONS VERY LOUDLY; i have to say, i have never seen someone yell FAAAAUCK! and slam the buttons so hard after losing to a cpu... calm down man... and stop ruining the arcade buttons...

linkin park- numb(live in texas)

oh yea, there's some weird trick in area51, that arcade shooting game, which makes the game colors look all psycadelic or something... hecka hard to discern what you are shooting, although it's sometimes cool to do the code, as it's like you're seeing everything in infra-red.

Jeremiah 6:27-30: God compares stiffnecked ppl to metals that just can't be refined; you heat and heat but they just wont get rid of their impurities. What is the use of such things? You can only destroy them and rid them from the face of the earth.

i saw one of those evangalistic ppl on campus today... ykno, the ones which hold up a sign saying "jesus loves you; turn or burn" or something like that, and i saw him debating with a small crowd gathered around him... i could seriously not do that, because it would take so much courage on my part to put myself on the spotlight like that... yes, thru God all things are possible, but i just could not see myself doing something like that without a huge leap of confidence.

i wonder if christians like that turn OFF nonbelievers more than they turn them on; often they carry what feels like negative news of doom; granted, the gospel HAS been getting a lot soft lately(i remember the lesson of the gospel needing to be more offensive in church), as people need to realize that what they have done is wrong, but at times, i wonder if it concentrates more upon the fear essence than the love side of things.

arcade stuff:

absolute worst place to go for online capcom combo videos:
www.akumacombos.com
this guy doesn't know how to do crap... well, the main guys... i could probably do better in all the games that i have and do play...

so our ucd games area now has an "ultracade;" sorta like a collection of ol skool games all packed into one machine; it has STREET FIGHTER 1! i haven't played it yet, i want to, but seriously, it was crap from just watching it; aside from a historical landmark for a video game genre, many of the moves came out extremely awkward. some moves are too fast when they shouldn't be(up-close games look like just mashing low punch is the way to go), others WAAY too slow to start(hurricane kick's like a super move in this game; takes like 1 full second to even start hitting), the other two shoto specials are awkward in their own light; fireball's slow too, although dragon punch was the best of them; from what i've read before, it's unblockable.

of course, they also have the old sf2 series; the original one, the championship edition, hyper version; no super or super turbo though... and i'm not big on nostalgic street fighter too much. sf2 WW was pretty jacked up; if you weren't guile or dhalsim, you were getting butt-raped; it didn't look like that when us youngsters were playing the game, but that's how all the tourney guys were playing it when we were too busy doing hadoken until the opponents jumped then SRK'd them. tick throws, etc...

i am still big on MVC1; that seems to be the fighting game i play the most these days; no comp plays me not because i'm good, but because i usually play when no one's challenging me; it's no big deal, usually i just play 1 game's worth to relax. it's really fun how top tier tactics often boil down to just gaining meter, then calling your partner in and just chipping your opponent to death with super after super after super after... fun...

let's talk nba:

i can't believe that the magic currently are the ones holding the worst ranking in the league right now... and they have tmac too... players' fault? doc rivers' fault? i dunno; don't look at me... but i will say this; they definitely don't belong there; they have tmac...

fave new west team: denver nuggets; any of you warrior fans regretting us trading boykins away now? boykins+anthony= golden...

and let's not forget the sonics man... flip murray? lewis?

btw, there's a LOT of good movies out this winter... matrix 3, elf, LOTR 3... haha... scary movie 3...

1 down, 2 more to go...

stand up write the soundtrack for your life
it doesn't happen to you you happen to life
stand up, you know you're gonna have to fight
don't wanna lose the will to find your light
stand up, God gave you the gift of life
it doesn't happen to you, you happen to life
stand up, do something with your light
you're a light on a hill, you're meant to shine so bright
(superchick- so bright)

i need to culminate God's presence in me by 1 week...

screw cnet.com... they're buying mp3.com... one of the very last big legal sites on the web where you can dl free music... it will be taken down dec 2nd...

jerm: man. im tired
me: oh?
jerm: but i don't wanna go lay in bed hah
me: THAT lazy?
me: :-D
jerm: yea hehe

paul pierce looked like tmac last night... no headband, atypical wristband up elbow, and a green leg thingy...

interesting... Sanctus Real remade U2's song...

woot! and warriors and spurs win! warriors win by 2 in OT! amazing!

and ginobili... man... i'm just loving this guy... it's funny... the truth is, sometimes he's even too flashy for greg popovich... that cracks me up... imagine courtside huddles:

greg: stop doing that!
manu: what... winning?

davis police has nothing to do...

that's what my "bio of aging" instructor tells us... we didn't really have a lecture today; he just wanted to kick it back and learn more about us(man, this guy is an awesome teacher... he actually takes time to know you; granted he has a small class to work with, but whatever, it's fun)... 2 incidents that stand out:
-a guy got into a carwreck with a bike; the police arrive, and help him move his banged up car alongside the road, then arrange a ride for him... so he takes off... my instructor is witnessing all this... he goes away, and comes back in a few... and a cop's writing a ticket for this illegally parked car! haha... what gives?
-then there's the daily show w/jon stewart incident: a woman got arrested in davis for get this: SNORING TOO LOUD... haha! who would have thought?

also, get this: university instructors aren't paid by how well they teach; only by what they earn by research... that's how the legislature of ca decides it. they exceed their research projects... they get a raise... you get the idea.

oh, btw, bob, this instructor also pointed out how most of our body can run on fat as energy for about 50 days total, given total fat revenues... so there... proof that you can fast a while w/o killing yourself... i dunno the exact stats though, but basically there's a lotta calories that can be burned off from fat...

perhaps one of the things that annoys me the most about college is that it blazes too fast... no time to take to breathe... and class registration always annoys me greatly.

woot! how about vin baker with the clutch shot!

duncan had a NASTY tomahawk either sunday or monday; i dunno which day...

and go roddick! (to be honest, i will say he looked a lot more dominating during the summer's us open... he was pulling aces outta his ass everywhere... not the game i watched... of course, you could give credit to moya being an improved player, but i don't think so... during the us open his aces were 130 mph, right on the line... and very frequent. this game the serves were a bit more in, and slower)

i was surprised to see 2 elderly woman approach our apt yesterday... i was intrigued when they whipped out a bible and shared 2 bible verses to me. then they gave me a pamphlet... and when i closed the door and read the cover, i was immediately turned off... it said "can you believe in a paradise earth?" it was written by jehovah's witnesses. however, after junking it in the recycle bin, i had afterthoughts, and decided to pick it up and keep it just so that i can read it and see how it deviates from christianity... i haven't read the thing word for word yet, but i will do so soon, because "a pretext without a context becomes a prooftext for a context" or something like that. being closed-minded doesn't help anyone. but this is what i gather so far, from what i've read:

going off of the few articles i've read in it so far, there is a big emphasis upon "paradise earth;" they quoted a buncha biblical verses and used it to back how many ppl believe they will go to heaven, but not many ppl believe they will reside on a paradise earth.
then there's of course, this huge emphasis upon preaching this truth to others.

however, here's the thing:
-the whole emphasis of christianity is Jesus Christ. they didn't say that he didn't save the world, but they just alluded to that in a few places, how he shed his blood for others. we all know that Jesus is the way and the truth and the life, and when we take that away from the central focus, that's just as bad as denying him completely... the 1st commandment is to love God, the 2nd one is to serve your neighbor
-another main focal point of Christianity is the aknowledgment of your sins. there was no article i saw in their pamphlet that drew attention to that. in a sense, you create a false sense of hope in ordinary ppl, who believe the world will turn out ok in the end, but you don't help them in preparing for it. it's almost as bad as the common notion in modern-day society that "ppl will go to heaven simply cause they've been a relatively good person"
-and on that same point, they drew no emphasis upon what happens in the afterlife; no one is perfect, and whoever doesn't acknowledge their sins and the fact that Jesus Christ is Lord will be thrown into hell. they talked about only a paradise earth and spreading that stuff.
-finally... who cares? there is biblical reference in revelations how some ppl will come to live in the New Jerusalem, but whether you live there or in heaven, does that matter? it's sorta like asking if Jesus could give you a front-row seat in heaven. it's completely unnecessary, not something you need to work for. i would be completely satisfied being the janitor of heaven, than the gatekeeper of hell. (i hope God's not being sarcastic after reading this and assigns me that job in heaven :D)

i'll probably read more of the pamplet sometime later. also, most likely their version of the bible is somewhat different, so i'll have to compare their verses with the NIV that i have. as well as check info on them on the web, but right now i kinda have a lotta stuff to do these weeks...

if i had known ahead of time all this, i mightve started debating to those ppl, cause i had no idea they were jehovah's witnesses until they left and i read the pamplets carefully... i was just happy for them to leave so i could get back to watching comedy central. maybe this is something i should pray for... the ability to discern stuff faster from God.

i love thanksgiving so much more than christmas... christmas can seem so fruity now... thanksgiving is a lot more sincere IMO... plus, i'll have to see if we wanna do another praise night...

pistons and warriors on wednesday... FINALLY gs gets some national airtime... i'm still waiting for celtics to get some national airtime...

oh yea... one more thing before i go:

davis has air1!

i was greatly disappointed by the way the magic played against the twolves last night; yes, i do like twolves as one of my fave western teams, but i also liked magic(though not as much as twolves), and i expected a much tougher showing... NOBODY on the magic was nailing anything, even though many of those looks were extremely insanely wide-open perimeter shots. at least lue did well, but i attributed that to the fact that he had played with mj on his team last year, thus gaining experience from the great one. however, that stuff aside, tmac did TERRIBLE; 2/20? wth?

on the other hand, i was DELIGHTED by the way the sonics played against the blazers and thoroughly whupped them... clearly i've underestimated one of the better teams in the west; at least, by their record(they have yet to lose a game), they are the best team right now... no dominance on the inside though so far, but they definitely play with heart.

highlights:
1)barry crossed up wells with a behind-the-back dribble, then passes to a sonic under the rim, who touch-passed it to a slashing reshard lewis(you da man!) for a 2-hand flush.
2)blazers' randolph actually pulled up, spun 360 like he was gonna pass, but then decided to just shoot, and made it! the announcers were going like "whoa... tony hawk eh?" I was going "dude! THAT WAS MY SHOT!"
3)sonics' buzzer went off for 14 min! haha... that was funny... delay of game for 14 min due to some technical screw up
4)perhaps the coolest play of the game? perhaps: barry drives in, then does a no-look pass... it BOUNCES off a blazer right back to him, then he spins outward back to the basket in midair and shoots just as he gets fouled... and scores! and it didn't even look silky smooth either, certainly not olang material, and you could tell he did not intend for that entire sequence to happen, but when you rewatched it again, it just looked so sweet...

bottom line... go sonics! heck, forget ray allen; murray just took your place! and how about reshard lewis!

life is looking up... they are right... simply studying a few each day frees up your time so much, and still enables you a chance to get some As...

starting to get back into MVC1 again... man, i need a controller...

i wonder if my diminishing craving for FPS cpu games again has something to do with: 1) a hankering for MVC1 again, or 2)wanting to seek God's presence again through songwriting...

damnit lebron... win a game already!
(that said, i think denver nuggets are an overall better team than the cavs; james > anthony, but denver has a lot more good ppl to work with; damn, why did gsw even trade away boykins? did you see the way he lit up tonight?)

woohoo... kings > twolves... in OT... too bad i couldn't see it

wizards > mavs... you go arenas!

pistons > celtics... :(

and i think i am starting to really begin to see how to manage my time wisely in davis, schoolwise over gaming... unfortunately, i still need to bring my spiritual devotion up a little.

*sniff*... outta trout... and i need to load up on groceries some too... man... i run through food pretty quickly...

and now ucd also had ucd wide wristbands! don't tempt me man...

songwriting... gotta do some of that soon...

this struck me as i was skimming the online bible for a reading of God's word before i would've dove into my studies for the night(i was in jeremiah since the last time i stopped reading the bible):

Chapter 5
30 "A horrible and shocking thing
has happened in the land:
31 The prophets prophesy lies,
the priests rule by their own authority,
and my people love it this way.
But what will you do in the end?

the last line got me: but what will YOU do in the end? as if God was speaking to me. will i sit by and watch others suffer when life stops? will i try to scold people and antagonize them even more? what will I do?

it's becoming more and more obvious why songwriters use a notepad for writing down their lyrics, not a document on a cpu; some ideas are never truly junked. oh, you may toss them during the beginning of writing a song, but you may come back to it... i've begun to realize this, and now am considering buying a notebook just for lyric writing, as opposed to using a cpu for writing down lyrics exclusively. i mean, taking a look at amy lee's handwriting when she was writing evanescence's songs really makes it dawn upon you.

boourns... warriors lost to lakers.

ah yes; wednesday nba night... nuggets and cavs... this should be good... go lebron!

let all the unworthy desires fade away til there's just one thing left, and that is a thirst for you...

and help me to see people the way you would, not the way i would... i'm seriously messed up

you go dunleavy... warriors > sixers... dunleavy had a HUGE night... 32 pts, 11 rebounds... amazing considering how we had only 7 healthy players... ugh though... it's gonna be tough facing the lakers tonight...

soo... impressions of the nba right now;

twolves sucked against the nets... period... what the hell you guys? you've got kg, spre, and cassell... i was rooting for you too... get beat, but not like that...

kings won against sixers... it seems that everytime ai gets hurt and resolves to play, he does poorly... he did poorly on friday... the only good thing was watching him dunk like his beginning years... he did one tomahawk dunk when he was wide open on a fast break...

wooo! reshard lewis! he had a great night against the clippers in japan... so many tomahawk dunks!

and finally, i am glad that celtics won against the grizzlies... mike james w/the double stutter step to pull-up jumper to win the game! sadly, they lost to the hornets today... that makes new orleans the top ranked team in the east right now... well, run's gotta come to an end somewhere... just wished it had gone on a bit longer.

in a dry and weary land, you are my water... you are my water

priceless conversation:
me: ykno a lotta olang around davis wear headbands and wristbands around campus
jerm: LOL
me: that's why i'm starting to wear the ucd headband around campus lately too
me: heh heh
jerm: haha you OLANG
me: haha
...
me: haha... come thanksgiving i'll be 10 shades darker than tim :-)
jerm: haha
jerm: lol. you'll be nigerian. forget olang.. NIGERIAN!
me: haha
me: mutumbo will think i'm his relative
jerm: lol

oh yeah, i said i was gonna wear a green headband and wristband below the elbow on my left hand on friday, and see how many ppl think i'm paul pierce... i have no white gym shorts though, so i'll just stick w/my navy and1 shorts... i would wear a cutoff to enhance the image, but it's been getting chilly around davis lately... haha... summer has meterologically ended in davis... i'm gonna also wear the w.w.j.d. bracelet on my right wrist... i know it's not really a pierce thing, but i know ballers sometimes wear that too...

La la la la la la la yo yo yo yo yo
La la la la la la la la yo yo
Dear Slim Part Two yo yo

Dear Slim I wrote you but you ain’t calling
Its been a couple years now since I wrote that song and
A lot has changed now for you and I
I have no clue now that I’d write a song for you and it would change some lives
Kids with tears in their eyes they now come up to me
Showing love to me and telling me that they look up to me
The effects to me well it’s really kinda strange see I only want to share with you Jesus’s love for me

There’s a whole nother’ side of things now I’ve come to see
It’s a huge influence you’ve got upon this industry
But enough of me because it’s not what I came to say to you
Not a day goes by while I take time to pray for you
I’m sorry now for what your mom and dad they did to you
But I can relate with you because you see dude I’ve been there too
I know there’s a lot of pain and hurt now that you’ve been through
But never forget there’s a real love God gave to you

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
To whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Still to whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
To whom it may concern
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
It’s still to whom it may concern

Dear Slim I wrote you but you still aint calling
Backstage at the VMA’s someone gave you my song and
I’m kinda wondering what you thought man
When that guy walked up to you and talked to you and put it in your hands
Maybe you never listened to it or maybe you lost it or maybe you heard it and
You just got mad and then you tossed it
Did he get you back that’s the question that I’ll always get
And I’m like for God forbid that you might even have liked it
I don’t know congratulations on your movie yo
And I heard your last record well over ten million sold
But there’s one thing that’s really got me thinking bro
Does a Grammy mean anything and if its just gotta cost your soul
In case you didn’t know there’s a love that will never go away
You said your going to hell but it don’t have to be that way
See the bottom line of what I’m trying to say is
God puts back together the broken pieces that’s been thrown away
And even everyone ya know ya stuff that goes away
He’ll still love ya til the very day that your old and gray
Too bad a lot of Christians all they do is hate on you instead of droppin to their knees
And takin’ time to pray for you
And it’s obvious that you really love your daughter dude and for that I gotta tell you well
I really got respect for you
So here it is, Dear Slim Chapter Part Two
Another cat just trying to make it just like you

Dear Slim did you hear the junk that I’m going through
Kids sending me hate mail and telling me how I’m biting you
Telling me how there gonna beat me up and just kill me too
But a lot of people they just seem to get my song confused
See what I say to you I know I might even sound funny but I never came at
You just to paint you as the enemy
It wasn’t about hatin’ you or startin’ some controversy
It wasn’t about blamin’ you or trying to make some money (no)
I don’t claim to know everything that you’ve experienced
Man I don’t know if you even be hearin’ this
But I said it once and I still hold to this
Is that a life without Christ is still a life that is never fixed
I tell you this even if it is a hard pill to swallow
Like it or not Slim you will always be a role model
Do you know these kids, we’re the one’s they always follow
What we say and how we live gives them a better tomorrow
I had my share of sorrow plus man I’ve been rejected
I’ve been chewed up, spit out and cussed, disrespected
But if I die today and I never sell another record
Jesus gave me more than I ever coulda been expected
I know life is hectic it could leave ya blown away
But check it bro because we all just gon’ die some day
And on that note well there’s only just one thing to say
There’s still one love and one God and only one way!

KJ-52: Deam Slim pt 2

the bitter must always come before the sweet, and makes the sweet even sweeter; i gotta take another bio midterm today... then i can do some tfcing/csing... then the nba season starts today! all the best of luck to the warriors... what's done is obviously done already, so we just have to hope van exel picks up where arenas left off and does an even better job; for now, it's all mike dunleavy... tonight though i'm looking to see if lebron improved over last preseason game w/the lakers... also, kings are always been good, so that's gonna be cool to watch... also, celtics got lefrentz for walker(which i personally thought was a good deal); let's see if it pays off, although nets now have mourning, so i think potentially we might be right where we started.

btw, stumbled across the top 50 nba players of all time here yesterday:
http://www.nba.com/history/players/50greatest.html

i really still can't believe shaq made the list; while i actually saw that fact a while back, it still strikes me how ppl actually think he's one of the best. he really IS a ballhog; his top # of assists for a game is 2. 2! do you know how much of a ballhog you have to be to get a career high 2 assists for a game when you're a seasoned superstar?

also, is that list constantly being updated? if so, i'm thinking duncan and kg will both someday make that list. duncan has such strong fundamentals... and kg, well, um... yeah.

k, best of luck to me... gotta study... let's DO THIS GOD!

indeed... onions DO make you shed tears... man, that's strong stuff... they're so sweet after cooking them though... i should go buy some, as i'm out, but not until the end of the week if i'm not going to retreat; damn self should've reorganized my study habits a bit better...

as for now, i basically have 3 main ways of variating my chicken tender soup every night(of course, not counting changing the meat to trout):

-cabbage, celery(or zuchinni), garlic, black pepper(potatoes optional), green onions
-potatoes, carrots, onions(totatoes optional), garlic, green onions
-seaweed, tofu, cabbage/zuchinni, miso, green onions

#1's the most simplest, but most bland IMO; still easiest and fastest of the 3. it's not terrible tasting of course, but gets the job done. that's why the potatoes are a nice addition. #2 takes the most time, but it's well worth it, although i can never seem to know how to make small portions when i do. either i end up adding too little, or too much. #3; all i need to say is that i love miso and tofu; seaweed i don't actually like too much, but when the miso's added, man, it just makes it taste a hecka lot better; of the 3, i like using trout in this one the most.

there you have it; i just told you what i know how to cook so far... technically, i know how to cook beef stew, but that takes longer, so i don't wanna bother w/that each weeknight... it would be sweet doing that on a saturday night though... what you basically do is use the 2nd recipe, but make sure you add ginger and anise stars with the beef(i get this ability to cook IMO from mom), and slow cook it before adding the vegetables.

unbelievable... marlins won... damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit...

i can't believe how well ucla's football team has been doing this year so far... amazing... their defense really is something...

i'm wondering if i should go to the fellowship's retreat next week... it's a dilemma... will i be able to keep up my studies on time and still go to it? also, lately i haven't been placing God first; if i go to the retreat, i would be going in with a fun mentality. on the other hand, jon pointed out it could be a catalyst for better things; it might restart my spiritual stuff... i dunno...

kings > lakers... yesssss...

rockets > spurs... then again, spurs were taking it easy... yao ming looks better now... heard he bulked up...

it's interesting really how we KNOW how we're supposed to act, but still get so strongly swayed by the world... we know that GPAs in the long run are nothing compared to the glory of God's will... how come then do i feel really nervous everytime i finish a midterm without really finishing all of the questions confidently? or even leaving some blank because time ran out?

it's kinda funny how this small korean girl at the fellowship i went to today was sitting next to me and jon and saying to jon "i don't have any friends! i'm gonna spend more time around you" or something like that extent, which got me laughing... can you spell knee pon yo?

excuse me for being ignorant, but i just realized yesterday that boston celtics got rid of walker and got lefrentz from the mavs... i think it's a good trade; the celtics got beat in the playoffs last year because they don't have any really dominant big men; lefrentz will help correct that... i wonder if this alone will push them to top east status... well, we'll have to wait the nets and celtics matchup in the playoffs again to find out... go celtics!

(oh yeah; go warriors; being ignorant, i found out today that they also have avery johnson now...)

haha... lakers lost to clippers... ok, so it's one game, but still...

can't wait... wednesday next week it starts... maybe i should just shoot some hoops this weekend?

you have no idea how fast being on high internet with half life running drains a laptop battery if you aren't on AC power(and i didn't even connect to any games); i was wondering what the beeping sound was... at least none of my work was lost. haha... work... i shouldn't use that word... next time i'm not using my laptop w/o AC power

2 more chapters to study before 4:10 tomorrow; i never find that i'd say this, but it seems easier to run through organic chem material for a midterm than it is for a bio midterm; i love bio over organic chem anyday, but it seems that organic chem does seem a bit more straightforward. at the rate which i'm studying for it today, i should be able to go to sleep at a regular time, instead of cramming... although i do have to study for a bio quiz tomorrow, so...

but if we are the body
why aren't his arms reaching?
why aren't his hands healing?
why aren't his words teaching?
and if we are the body
why aren't his feet going?
why isn't his love not showing
that there is a way?

jesus paid much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come
and we are the body of christ

casting crowns- if we are the body; the chorus and bridge

some music streaming goodness here:

Evanescence - My Immortal
this is a great track; not often you see an evanescence track that is more predominantly piano than distorted electric guitar, and i thought the coming in of the rest of the band was nice

12 Stones audio page
sadly,i couldn't directly link to the song, but it's basically the song "Let Go" this is a great song; i love 12 stones.

ok, i was originally gonna post my response to your comment in the comment box bob, but it has only 400 spaces, so i'll do it here:

here's the thing; all sins are equal in that they place you in hell... however, since God judges fairly, most likely there are various degrees of punishment in hell, thus in that vein sins are not all equal(there are probably no such degrees in heaven, aside from what the disciples got, because you need to be perfect to get in heaven the 1st place, so if you're in, you're in; it's like a written test where you need to get a 100% to PASS)... that is why i'm wondering if the worst sin is open defiance towards God(being constantly preached to, growing up in a church, and turning your back upon your faith, or an unbeliever who has the resources to find out about the truthfulness about the bible, but never does), which covers everything pretty much. what is not covered? people who honestly don't know what sin is. like a secluded tribe somewhere in the jungle where people's morality is vastly different from what we have in secular America. these people commit sin because they didn't know it was sin in the 1st place. are they let off the hook? no; sin is sin; it lands them in hell. but it lands them in a different degree of hell than the people who on purposely defy God, knowing it is wrong.

yeap... csbinds now work...

tfc is so fun when you're playing in small numbers; i've finding out when you play about 4 on 4 on an area which is tiny and closed together, that the heavy weapons guy just rocks everyone's ass; now he's one of my favorite players. for those of you who don't play team fortress classic(tfc), it's basically using this guy who takes about 300% better damage than the other characters, doesn't get pushed around by explosions, and has this huge mini-gun much like terminator 2 where if you get caught in its fire you're shredded... sounds broken? not really; he's slow as molasses, which is why he rapes in small games; you don't get gangbanged as easily... want proof? i got a 32-killstreak when i switched to the hwguy... it's like using the terminator...

...i won't worry my life away, heeeey, oooooooh
i won't, i won't, i won't, i won't worry my life away, heeeey, nooooooo...

-jason mraz- the remedy

i couldn't get my csbinds to work yesterday... let's see if i have better luck today...

anberlin- ready fuels
anberlin- glass to the arson
telecast- the way
sonicflood- god is great(did they write this, or just remix it?)

now i have 2 headbands... the green one i use for balling, and a navy blue one w/the words ucdavis stitched in on one side... i wear this one paul pierce style; it goes on my side of my head... and i wear that one when i'm NOT balling :D sound weird? well, consider this; i often see black ppl walk around campus wearing official nba headbands and wristbands around... and i caught a pale-colored person in the arcades wearing a white headband... so no, it's not that weird... besides, ppl wear wristbands when they're not balling...

the worst sin is defiance... the 2nd worst is ignorance... do you agree or not?

midterm week has arrived... 2/4 completed... prayers would be appreciated... lates you guys...

yay... according to the canaan directory, i'm now a young adult! haha... well, wes, laura, and tim are still, according to the directory, youths... suckers...

cal lost to ucla 23-20; it sucked... cal actually came back with a touchdown pass and 2-pt conversion in the clutch, but obviously lost it in overtime...

came home for the weekend... and loaded up on groceries...

better get that tub of ice cream ready... (safeway prob has a special, or go for the thrifty espresso+biscotti type, that stuff's good) yankees > red sox in the 11th... this is so friggin ngay! marlins and yankees for this year's world series?!? man, this sucks!

oooh... ucd bookstore has GREY ucd bball shorts, not the goldish pacers type i saw back then... maybe i'll buy it... 25% off coupon that i have... also, they now have a ucd headband in the store, so that's cool... it actually has a ucd logo on it, not like just a dark blue headband...

speaking of which, when i was buying something at the ucd bookstore today, the cashier was this semi-short azn girl who was wearing a hooters tank top... and no, it didn't hit me to look down THERE... i didn't want to anyways, and good thing my mind didn't even think about that...

preseason game between cavs and lakers occurred yesterday... shaq was injured, horace grant was out(what the? how'd he end up on the lakers, and 2nd, he's still playing?), kobe, was injured too... that left malone and payton to take over. mainly malone, actually... i think the only teams which REALLY have a chance to stop the lakers on paper this year are kings, spurs, and twolves... of course, that's said ON PAPER... wouldn't be surprised when yao gets experience that the rockets will also pose a threat... anyways: man, lebron needs work... i do believe that in a few years he will dominate, but the 1st preseason game of his that i saw was nothing spectacular... 4/17 or something from the field... it was ugly... he was simply too passive; obviously you don't want to be a ball hog or anything like that, but if you're gonna shoot, take it to the rack, and take it hard. ricky davis did a much better job.

to get us into the bball season, i thought i'd give you guys the real way to play bball:
do this, and you will own any person you play; doesn't matter what you do; cut, post, fadeaway, posterize, you will win; when i watched it i almost died with laughter... seriously, how did the guys at yard fitness come up with this commercial?

october 29... nba... can't wait...

damnit, damnit, damnit... stupid florida marlins; and i was starting to like kerry wood as well; guy not only can pitch, but he came through to tie the game with a homer when it mattered.

although red sox beat the a's, i would still enjoy watching them beat the crap outta the yankees.

i feel like everytime i go back to college everything feels like a giant blur of unfeelingness... it's like running the rat race without a chance to stop and breathe.

i saw a UMK3 combo video that made me wonder why nobody's discovered big combos for that game...

i think i got sam wanting to making his own rap songs, after he head "unknown to the world" :D

oh yea, basically, here's all my songwriting projects i think i have to do:
-create instrumentals for sam to rap to
-finish creating "callous," one of the worship songs i planned to record, but never did
-finish "the sun," another song i wrote(not a worship song, and might have some rapping in there)
-finish phil's version of "glory to the lamb;" yes, phil DID record on my cpu a few months back; i told him i would actually make an .mp3 outta what he did; i haven't done that yet, but i should

punchbaby.com is so amusing...

fave new site i found:

http://www.punchbaby.com

a buncha video clips of well, funny stuff... the ones under ouch are funny... check out the taiwan catfight one to see how politics are being handled in taiwan! amazing country you're living in joe!

ok, i got a yahoo briefcase created, and uploaded all my songs; the problem is that yahoo won't let me let ANYONE look at it, only ones with yahoo IDs that i specify; so if you want access to it, lemme know your yahoo ID(over email or aim) and i will add you to the list... k that's it, the link's on the left; peace

i gotta get to work soon, but here's basically 3 things i have to say before i do:

-went to intervarsity large group yesterday; they do indeed seem to go a bit deeper on friday than other christian fellowships; however, they followed the same form as other friday groups; have a 1-2 hr fellowship, then just kick it back for the rest of the night; they didn't even say to meet up at a person's place. however, their message was a bit deeper; i took some notes on my cell notepad. their worship is a bit more old-skool though; not like hymns, but where we sorta have the "revised-hymns," or playing hymns w/contemporary worship style, except they tended to play slower; if i was going on the basis of worship alone i would choose msm, the one i'd gone to the most, but of course, me and jon need to see if their small groups are deep or not...

-i found out i actually have a place to put my .mp3s on the web(right now i don't feel like putting it all over mp3.com, and i don't have the time to create a website right now):

http://f1.up.briefcase.yahoo.com/edit/recharred_sigh/reg?.done=http%3a//briefcase.yahoo.com/

i can apparently use the briefcase thing from yahoo to create a site where guests can come in and just download, so that's cool; i'll set something up soon...

-i am revising my fave songs list(long time i did)... up to you to check it out if you want

-btw, evanescence's "going under" video is kinda freaky... everyone except the band members looks like they're some type of demon... now, knowing that evanescence is composed of christian musicians, were they trying to say something from that? if you haven't seen the video, go to www.evanescence.com and then comment below

internet @apt's been acting weird... and i know it doesn't have to do with my wireless card... now often i take my laptop and wireless card to ucd and i get a perfectly good wireless connection in a quiet lounge near the noisy cafeteria... speaking of which, the griffin lounge(that's where it's called), is prob my 2nd fave place to hang out @ucd besides the games area(3rd's the library, but that's for studying purposes)... the wireless connection in this room is EXCELLANT... and it's quiet... in fact, it's arguable, that excluding the noise OUTSIDE the area(and the church bell clock which goes off every half and top of the hour), it's more quiet than the library!

back to learning msh vs sf, after i somehow got another renewed interest in the game, and soundly whupped a masher, only to get crushed by a competitor-regular... apparently qcf+k,b+k is good for omega red, but i overuse it... *smacks self upside the head when he realizes he should've used the air dash*

note to self: print transcript; then it'll be easier to motivate myself to find some way to change my major..., another note to self: buy some more groceries...

i'm wondering just how good i could get at cooking; i'm not whipping up something incredible everyday, but for my purposes i am more-or-less able to create something to eat with almost-from-scratch ingredients... also, i was able to more-or-less figure out the ingredients in the instant oatmeal before looking @the ingredients... it's pretty good: oatmeal, sugar, raisins, dates, walnuts, cinnamon... i should try buying the actual stuff, and try making it from scratch, will take more time, but i think it'll be worth it...

i rewatched nba 2K3's play of the season... while i think kobe's behind-the-back crossover to dunk was impressive, it doesn't warrant the play of the year... seriously, either t-mac's self alley-oop or arenas-to-jrich was better... probably the 2nd... but oh man, with the giants and a's knocked out, i just can't wait for bball season to pick up again...(oh yeah, fball, but then, i'm more of a bball fan) hope the warriors get adjusted FAST, and that the celtics actually draw closer to be eastern conference champs again... they sadly still can't beat the nets, who are i admit, as for now the best in the east... we'll see though...

as for my songwriting progress, i'm writing the lyrics of another new song... that's where i'm currently at...

later, my friends; there's work to be done

great... i'm being bogged down, and have a reluctance to do work lately... damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit... how am i gonna motivate myself to study? i wished all the lectures would stop until i caught up with the material before i moved on... it was still my fault, but yeah... ykno...
man... no tfc, no cs... and to top it off, without those things to distract me, and i am STILL behind in readings... that's gotta suck...

ok, i guess it's official; arnold schwarzenegger is our governor... kinda like phil has jesse ventura(correct me if he's not minnesota's current governor, i'm not big on current events) for minnesota... again, before you ppl start freaking out, i do have to remind you, we will never find out exactly how well arnold does til he becomes and performs as our governor... well, he's his chance; i can only pray for him and hope that he leads our state well, out of the hole davis supposedly dug, instead of digging it deeper... now, we can't argue with him, we just gotta advise him and then support him and hope all goes well...

a's are gone, giants are gone... ugh... not good, not good...

later, i should go work... (damnit, intervarsity's site is still down)

leave it to me to leave my cs 5-pack @home... now that i've finally installed cs 1.6 on my desktop, it turns out i need the CD key... again... aurgh! (but i'll be ok... hopefully my grades will go up while i can't cs)...

instant oatmeal is so unsatisfying... i admit it's pretty tasty, but the single serving packet is so dinky, i have to eat 2 of those to be satisfied; and even after that i'm still slightly hungry; i should've bought the actual quaker oatmeal instead; it would've taken longer though, and i would've had to buy some dark brown sugar too, maybe some cinnamon too(adding brown sugar to oatmeal is really good)...

and now yahoogroups starts to act up upon me, so my college friends can't listen to the .mp3s i uploaded to them... weird...

argh... i'm kinda in a bind here... i can't decide whether i want to get rid of prov 9:10, prov 3:5-6, or matt 6:33; i think i'll get rid of prov 9:10 and matt 6:33

remember the fundamentals; i suppose you've remembered this stressed to you when playing bball and everything you're doing's falling apart; remember the fundamentals; it can't be said any better than christianity too; lately i've found that when you start getting bogged down in the middle of the old testament reading about punishment and sins and all, that it doesn't hurt to go back to the gospels and skim it for words of wisdom once again; the more you read the bible, the more insight you gain from the same passages; i've begun to realize mark 12:29-31 and john 10:9-10 are some of the most valuable bible verses i've ever stumbled across:

-ever since i've rewritten my lesson on worship, i've gained a lot through it, and one of those things is this: worshipping should be #1, not serving others; mark 12:29-31 sums this up very well, and it's very hard NOT to get this passage; when i was younger i just sorta skimmed past it, not really getting what it was trying to say, and what it is try to say is this; yes, you need to serve your neighbor, but you need to concentrate upon God first, in worship, prayer, and bible reading; stray away from that, and even if it's in the name of caring for others, it is idolatry.
-john 10:9-10 has given new meaning to me ever since i've spent time around too many ppl who just seemed down with work, school, you name it. and these guys are christians. yet, jesus tells us right now, that when he came, not only would we have life, but we would HAVE IT TO THE FULL; have you never truly grasped how powerful these words are? it's why the 1st 3 fruits of the spirit are love, JOY, and PEACE. having life to the full means these things will be part of your life; does that mean that you will always be HAPPY? noo... but it does mean that you will feel a sense of peace in whatever you do... nothing will shake you... and this has a profound impact on me now...

the more philosophy classes i take @ucd, the more the philosophical terms are coming into my head... utilitarian... act utilitarian... rule utilitarian... kantianism... etc... the more we think about it the more we'd like to believe God is a utilitarianist; "greatest good," or basically, the most number of souls saved; yet the problem with utilitarianist thinking is that while most will be happy, a few won't, and sometimes that happiness is at the expense of the few. and you begin to realize that while God DOES want the majority to be saved, he NEVER wants to do it at the demise of a few human souls; that's why Jesus tells the parable of 99/100 sheep being safe, but God refuses to rest satisfied; he goes out himself to find that 1 lost sheep, and maybe this is just me, but if all 99 fell away but he found that 1 lost sheep, he would indeed be more happy over him than all the 99...

we had a power outage in davis today, so my alarm clock didn't go off... but God shows his grace again, cause i woke up 30 min later, instead of 2 hrs later... so i was able to get to class, just slightly late... i really appreciated that God... next time i'll set my cell phone alarm as well just to be sure...

just updated my friendster profile... this is the 1st time i've been on... phil invited me during the summer, but since the library didn't support cookies, i couldn't do anything... will add a pic later...

jon asked our little group whether it was better to be a hardcore christian w/no ppl skills or a softcore christian w/great ppl skills... i would go w/the 1st, since God commands it too; to love him, and THEN to serve others... seeking God's kingdom first also means all these things will be added unto you...

i've run outta juice of things to talk about... will write later

sunday was the 1st time i made miso soup w/tofu and seaweed today in davis(plus a few other things thrown in), and hopefully i won't make the same mistake today; dried seaweed expands LIKE CRAZY; i put in what i thought was going to be about 1/2 a cup of seaweed, and it turned out to be a LOT more than that; my supposedly 1/2 a pot of miso soup turned into a full pot, and man, i feel so stuffed right now...(no, i didn't eat the whole thing; i filled my "leftovers bowl" full, and still had a lot to go left) otherwise it was fairly good, but i still don't like O.D.ing on seaweed, so i'll learn to put a LOT less than what i think is going to be in there... *groans at slightly bloated stomach*...

i didn't go to church again... pisses me off... i really should be able to control my time better, but i can't, and that brings me down even more... what's more, everytime i don't go to a christian thing, jon doesn't go either... i feel like sometimes i'm like a christian big brother to him in davis, in that i should be setting an example... i don't think i'm a better christian than him, but yeah, i think you know what i'm getting at... of course, i don't think you need to go to a church to save your soul, or to even draw closer to God, but you find accountability there... sometimes it can be so hard motivating yourself to take up the disciplines of christianity...

so instead i did some self-study today(for what may be the 1st self-study in the bible up in davis for a long time), and it occurred to me just how satisfying the bible is, since i haven't been reading it for a long time... eats up a LOT of my time though, so i'll read more now, but maybe keep it to 1-2 chapters a day to keep myself from getting too bogged down timewise... in jeremiah right now, and i found out that jeremiah, the reluctant prophet, was actually a priest, when God called him to service... sometimes we are just like jeremiah; think about it; we're christians, and yet we shrink away at the prospect of minstering to others; it makes as much sense as a priest who shrinks away at spreading the word to unhearing ears... i think for those of us who are like that(i know i am), we haven't really REALIZED that God is going to be with us... if God is for you, do you really need to worry about anything? also, it was interesting to see God count 2 sins towards the Israelites; falling away from him AND worshipping other gods... it's interesting, cause usually the 2 happen in one shot, and sometimes could be considered as one, but God counts them at 2... kinda like breaking the 1st 2 commandments... i wonder if it's possible to break one of them without the other...

i think wes forgot i existed, is too socal right now to recognize me, or forgot my screen name entirely; everytime i try to strike up conversation with him on AIM so far, he's either signed off or not responded to me at all... dude, at least tell me you're busy! dark side of cali indeed! you socal'rz... (and it's funny how only the true norcal'rz of our church are seen on AIM now as frequently... me, jon, and jerm... sometimes sam... the rest of them are just ignoring us completely :D)

ever notice how sometimes you're glad God made you like your parents, and other times you wish you weren't like them? i'm finding that more and more i'm like my mom in liking to cook(actually my mom dislikes cooking, but is pretty good at it) and copying her, also, i notice since i wrap all my supermarket groceries in plastic produce bags even if they're processed foods that it annoys the cashiers sometimes(this is something i also have picked up from my mom)... the elderly woman in charge of my groceries was fumbling trying to get the 6 yogurt cups i bought out(with the bag over the upc, it's kinda hard to read it), and so while i was kinda sorry for doing that, it was funny watching the frustration coming over her... finally instead of fooling around with the knot i made, she just ripped open the bag and then proceeded to scan the cups normally...

i've noticed that aside from referring to the attributes of God, jeremy camp usually doesn't say "God" or "Jesus" straight out on his songs... i've looked at the lyrics of his songs, and realized that indeed this guy's music wouldn't hurt to give to a nonchristian friend... the sad part though is that christian music that talks about loving God, but doesn't use his name can fool nonchristians into thinking about love for the opposite sex and nothing else... i remember that before i found out lifehouse was a christian band that i thought "hanging by a moment" was a song about being drunk with love for the opposite sex, or something like that...

there are like 3+ stations up here in davis for K-Love, but NONE for Air1, which is the sister of K-Love... boourns! who needs more than 1 station for K-Love? are all the christian music guys up here conservative while ppl, who can't take alternative rock? (well, i can't say that completely, cause jeremy camp DID come up to davis, see my LONG post)

ucd's wireless connection isn't bad... actually, right now it seems better than the apt's, heh heh... anyways i should leave soon, they're gonna lock up... later guys...

(will probably ending up dling the cs 1.6 patch @ucd anyways, since apt internet's so limited...)

1st time back at msm since i first rearrived in davis, on friday, and 1st time jon's ever gone to their class fellowship after the friday service yesterday... yeap... rowdy as ever, can't ever forget that... some of those guys just crack me up, especially when we were playing the game where you need to imitate a sign of other ppl... eh, it was fun... "WASH MY LAUNDRY!"

also, it was kinda funny watching all the guys(and some girls) from msm ooh and ahh over jon's g35... i probably expected them to go "you've got a GPS system TOOO?!?!?" as well...

yes! there's an asian market in downtown davis! miso and tofu! the essentials to cooking an easy soup! i think i'm gonna call up my mom and ask how to cook beef stew just to be sure how to do it, in times that i don't feel like cooking chicken soup again and again... also, i should look for cheap trout soon, for variation...

intervarsity doesn't advertise too much around UCD... only their website does... well, i guess every fellowship everywhere is somewhat underadvertised; in ucla that fellowship is absk... here, intervarsity and msm only gets advertised near the beginning...

safeway is so much cheaper than albertson's... the extra distance i have to travel around davis to buy groceries is so much worth it...

ok, i'm stuck in finding what to talk about, later... besides, i need to cook my dinner... then i gotta do my reading and stuff...

i actually somewhat miss freshman year in davis; the dorms made internet access much more reliable, it was easier getting to and from campus, meals were easier on your time, and i got to see nature up close a LOT more (let's not forget how i saw a peacock up-close after breakfast near our dorms, that was awesome seeing God's creation up-close)... the only real plus side is that now i have a lot more living space, it's somewhat more quiet, and i can prepare my own meals at my own leisure...

it seems that often what was highly valued during the old testament has turned more and more into our idols that we worship today... being diligent in work, and earning a lot of money was considered good a way long time back in jewish times, and yet, now, activity is an idol over God... same thing with money... i wonder if God thinks time can be an idol over him? probably... though we don't say it like that, i know we just set time to do other stuff over God, and that's bad...

ok, later, i should really go do some stuff...

i apologize if i am stuffing all this info down your throat at once; my apartment's internet wasn't available until now. that, and the fact that i couldn't figure how to config my laptop so i could use the wireless connection all over the davis campus...

tuesday: 9/23
so i finally have left home... it was hard to realize it, tough to let go... seriously, sometimes i feel like there's so much i could've done during summer, but wasted... such is life, but you can't turn back... even though none of the other guys had problems with quitting with combo movies in COTA and trying to songwrite, i think the others wished there was more they got out spiritually too. it was funny leaving home though; i stalled just when i was just about to leave, as if the car didn't want to leave cupertino either :D

there was a rush hour when i left, which added 1 hr to the time i needed to get to UCD, but it was all good; i enjoyed the ride there... i didn't really do anything when i finally unpacked, just sorta hoped for the best, ate, and went to sleep; we haven't gotten internet yet, which is why this log is long overdue...

and i still miss air1; it's true; i've grown to love cupertino radio stations:
air1: 100.9; by far my favorite radio station ever; i would have never imagined a christian radio station playing ALTERNATIVE ROCK...
channel: 104.9, also a good runner up, for secular alternative rock...
ksjo: 92.3, when you wanna hear harder, older skool rock, also a good station
... and there's the other various radio stations i had back down there, 94.9,
106.1, 89.3, etc...

i will also once again miss playing with the young adults, with bob leading worship on sundays, and just getting together on saturday to kick back and relax practicing for worship on sunday... small group worship is always something i relish, and something i wish we could do more often...

btw, it seems my cell doesn't get good reception at davis; maybe it's just my phone, although it is situational; when i got to UCD, i could see more than 3 bars of reception, whereas in my room there are none at all... so if you call me, don't be surprised if you can only leave a message; i apologize ahead of time...

wednesday: 9/24
got up early, but since i went to sleep later, i got up, turned off the alarm clock(for some reason even though i set it to a christian radio station before hitting the bed, it changed to some mexican station when i woke up), then went right back to sleep... pitiful... btw, this was the 1st time i ever ate kashi, the go lean crunch type; it's not bad; kinda like a crunchier kellogg's smacks, but with cinnamon added...

i also took the unitrans to school to buy books(the bus schedule actually looks a lot more reliable every time i take a closer look; i could get used to using it a lot), where i actually met andrew ho, a now college freshman; this guy went to kennedy as well as monta vista; we were in the same bio ap class, and did a group project together. i think he was as surprised to see me as i was, but it's all good; surprisingly, he's also living in the same apartment area as i was last year.

it seems that everytime i think of the number of things i need to do(change major, meaning i need to find an adviser to sign my petition, but i didn't have an adviser last year, also i need to update my apartment info, since i didn't fully fill it in, etc, mayber change my schedule, or buy some more books?), i get overwhelmed...

oh yeah, our UCD arcade now has time crises 3; it looks pretty impressive; it reminds me of the FPS games on the cpu, but gone arcade; now you have limited ammo(discourages random firing and then just ducking to reload), and can toggle between a handgun, machine gun, shotgun, and grenade launcher during a game; you shoot special people to gain ammo to any of those guns. i could imagine that the next best arcade shooter would be one which combines the principles of time crisis 3 with police 911-2; you now can hide by your movement, and need to reload manually with your hand(or something like that), as well as having limited ammo and a variety of guns to go by... that would be sweet...

and finally, today was the 1st day i actually cooked a meal(and i mean that i actually got out a pot and made a soup, instead of pouring cannned chili into a bowl, sticking it in a microwave and nuking it)... i think i made a good won-ton soup(i'll of course give credit to morris' mom for making the won tons; i only had to put them in the pot, then add vegetables and salt later... it was fine, but i think i either added too much water or too little salt; probably the 2nd, but i can't tell; i tried adding about the same amount of salt my mom does, but it didn't make the soup that well, otherwise, i think it was good; not bad for a 1st try; i'll imagine i get better at this as i go along...

i think in my spare time i'll devote myself to thinking more about worship as well as songwriting; last year i spent WAY too much time just playing cpu games, and that ruined the potential there; this year, it's gonna be different; hopefully, no capcom gaming, and very minimal, controlled csing(which admittedly is gonna be tough, since 1.6 came out, but i'll find strength in God)... also, this summer i didn't get to talk to the youth about worship, because i felt i wasn't ready; by giving myself time to really think about God and guitars, instead of ak47s and awps, i should be able to get some really good thoughts down...

oh yeah, i want to ball a lot more in davis now; seriously, it seems that the more i age, the more i love bball; i regret how when mj was still at his best that i was concerned about other things; i liked the bulls at the time, but i had never really studied how mj played; he is still my all-time favorite baller, but now i wish i'd watched him play SERIOUSLY, instead of just sucking up and leaving it at that... it was only during senior year of high school when i had 5 classes that i had a lotta free time to play sega sports' nba 2k(also something i have to thank for getting me into bball; was the 1st truly realistic bball game i ever played), and to watch many nba on nbc games... that was when i truly developed the love for bball, and i feel it's ever growing... i can't wait for bball season to start again... which is good and bad(am i concentrating too much on earthly things? makes me wonder why i don't share the same passion about friday nights(well, sometimes i do), as well as sunday mornings...)

so... it begins... tomorrow morning... this is one reason i dislike school; the potential to become even stronger is there, but the potential to become even weaker is also there, because if there is adversity, and you face up to it and overcome it, you become stronger, but if the adversity is there, and you sucuumb to the pressure, you reveal just how weak you are... of course, i don't HATE it with a vengence, but i wish i were stronger...

thursday: 9/25
ran into one of the friends i met at msm... that was cool...

got lost again... (is this a trend of mine? to get lost on one of my 1st days back at UCD? happened last year...)

ooo... free jeremy camp show w/telocast on friday... this should be good, but i gotta find out where central park is in davis...

moved up a notch in cooking... instead of won tons, i tossed in frozen chicken tenders... hey, they were raw, so...

they were showing terminator 2, so i watched that... haha... usa was showing all these arnold movies during the whole week and calling it "arnold: man of action..." but i dunno if that's gonna make him a good candidate for governor, but like i always say, you can never tell how he's gonna do until you elect him... at least for you naysayers, the good thing is he can never be a us president; the us president candidate has to be natural-borne in the us... T-2 still was fun to rewatch again... it's funny how after john connor makes the terminator promise not to kill any humans, that any humans he shoots afterward are in the kneecap... and rewatching it again i realized near the end he used the grenade launcher a LOT more... when he knocked the T-1000 into the molten pool he wasn't using a sniper rifle; THAT was the grenade launcher which the T-1000 grabbed out of his hands and flung away; when i was young and watched that part i thought it was an assault rifle... also that chain of ammo around the terminator near the end wasn't bullets... those were grenades for the grenade launcher...

friday: 9/26
still w/o internet...

i also got up so friggin late, cause bio discussion doesn't happen this week, so i have only one class, at 4:10-5:00. not to mention i stayed up late trying to read 3 more chapters of isaiah.

today was overall a great day though... probably so far my best day in UCD; i had only one class in the late afternoon, giving me time to do whatever... but that's not the reason why i had so much fun...

me and jon went to a FREE show with the liani moore band, telocast, but most importantly... JEREMY CAMP! (boy, NOW am i glad i stayed in davis this weekend as opposed to going home and seeing switchfoot, and btw if i had gotten internet earlier in davis,(or at least figured out that i could've gone to the computer room at ucd to access my email) i would've told all the youth and some of the young adults in the hopes that they'd come up, it was a great show) makes me wonder if jeremy camp loves davis; he was gonna play in an area close to davis last year as a guest artist to bebo norman...

here's my thoughts after that concert:

the liani moore band was the band me and jon saw at College Life fellowship; seeing the drummer do her stuff was again nice to rewatch. www.lianimooreband.com if you wanna know more about them.

telocast was a recently new christian band entering the music scene; only one song of theirs was recently started to be played on air1, however they're great on-stage; jon decided since they're new(and he liked the 2nd song they played on their set) to get their CD at their booth after the show; he also got it signed by all 4 band members; they had one goof-off, where the lead singer/acoustic guitarist started off their title song in too low a key, then he stopped before the band started, apologized and said, "if the band came in after that, then it'd be a whole shipwreck," and that got me and jon and the others around us laughing...

jeremy camp... dude, what can i say... if you liked him on his CD, you will LOVE him onstage... i didn't even come into the show really liking him(liked him, but not like he was my favorite artist), but after the show... i was sold... he is such a funny personality(mustve cracked jokes throughout the concert), yet he was sincere enough to share his testimony, which was a touching story of how he married a chemo patient who was deeply concentrated upon christ, and even though she died, he realized how God was calling him to deeper things. as for his music onstage... it was LOUD(having the drums, bass, and lead guitar louder than the vocals is what good concert music is about; sure, you can't tell what he's saying as well compared to the CD, but who goes to concerts to be philosophical and reflective? loud music draws you into it), ENERGETIC, HARD, and GOOD... it was electric onstage... btw, my favorite highlight was during the song "stay," ryan, the electric guitarist, took his guitar, and swung it a 360 around his shoulder by the strap, then catching it, before launching into a lead guitar solo not found on the CD version of the song... got a buncha oohs and aahs from the crowd... i wanna do that, but i need a strap that won't fly off first :D also, hearing him using the delay pedal makes me reconsider getting it again... also, another funny incident was when jeremy wanted to get the whole audience to act goofy and start dancing during a song, and then he started saying in a menacing voice "this is a FUN concert! we WILL have fun!" which was hilarious... i decided to buy his CD after the show and 2 guitar picks with his name on it :D then i got his CD signed by him, and we even had some small chat afterward... i appreciate how he tries to really to get to know everyone he meets... the signing line was so long! made longer by the fact that he tried to have small chat with everyone he signed something of, as opposed to some artists who just sign and shake hands. too bad i didn't have a digital camera, and jon didn't bring his, or i would've taken pictures of the concert me and jon went to... it definitely made me glad i stayed in davis this weekend... at first a few weeks ago i would've been bummed to not see switchfoot, but i don't even like them that much... this concert blew that notion out the window... amazing how God shows us better things along our journey even when we think it's not for the better... jon agreed with me too; jeremy camp is GOOD onstage... he's probably also gonna buy his music, except that because he was short on cash, he settled for telocast, since they're smaller, probably you can find jeremy camp a lot more places.

btw, i got a few words of wisdom from God about the subject of worship, which i wrote down this morning; a lot of the stuff i wrote down looks like something that could easily be applicable to the postponed worship lesson i had planned for the youth...

oh yeah, finally, before i close for tonight, i had a pretty dumb azn bus driver today; she couldn't get the bus started, then called out to the azn driver next to her, saying,
"i can't get my bus to start! i hold down the ignition!"
"did you remember to put the bus in neutral?"
*dumb bus driver puts bus in neutral, then tries again; bus starts immediately*
*helpful bus driver gives a big grin and gives a thumbs up*
*all the girls around me start to snicker*
i then quip, "no comment" to the girl next to me, and she responds with "i know"
(oh yeah, i don't think she knows the route either; some girl asked,
"can you drop me at lake and covell?"
"here?" hahahaha...)

saturday: 9/27

it never really dawns on me just how much humans are like God, in the relation that they love to create. even if you aren't creative, there's something found in the joy of being able to say "i made something out of nothing;" i guess then i like being creative myself(i wonder if it has something with being left-handed, and thus, being right-brained, since the right brain is the more creative side of our brains). when i was young i LOVED to doodle(and while i never break out a pen and paper anymore, sometimes i undergo artistic ventures; my buddy icon was made by me completely by scratch in my spare time), when i'm older i now love playing the guitar and creating my own songs; also since i was always into fighting games, i love the prospect of being able to create a combo which wasn't written down before(and recording it, if it can be played on my emulator), as well as writing FAQs about them. and now, i'm starting to like cooking; mind you, i still can't create my own recipes, but with what i've done so far at davis, i like(it's still more complex than anything else my roommates have done so far). i started adding more stuff into the chicken tender soup i commonly have made up at davis. it seems though that potatoes give out SOOO much water... usually i only ended up with 1/2 a pot of soup, but by the time i finished, i almost had a full pot... i also added black pepper and fresh garlic to it, which actually was a good move. i had questioned the adding of garlic right after i was done cooking, but it apparently got cooked in whatever heat was left in the pot, so it wasn't necessary to cook it longer. and i still have some left over to eat on sunday!

i can't even begin then, in such a manner to realize the joy God must've had in creating humans; at the time, it was his highest skilled work; an organism who could think on its own. after he created it, he simply said "well done" but he was probably estatic with joy. and the more i reflect upon it, i wonder what gave God greater joy; the creation of humans, or the redemption of them right after Jesus died. i mean, the redemption suddenly gave the entire world hope once again, but for God, it was bittersweet, having to watch Jesus die upon the cross, writhing in pain.

i met up with some family in davis; i dunno too much about them admittedly, only that sam did babysit them, and that the older sister, amy, is a freshman here in davis. interesting; i should ask my mom again how the mother knows me(my memory is not jogging)

i wrote some more about the worship lesson i was planning; strangely, i stayed up til 2:00 writing cause things were popping into my head as i was going along...

i'm starting to wonder if my height scale at home is incorrect... am i already 6'0? maybe i should just make one and see how tall i am...

because the bus schedule stopped at 5:00 today, and because i stopped by the arcade to waste a few quarters to play time crisis 3, i had to walk home... took me a LONG time, because i had pretty much all my books in my backpack, and since my backpack gets jammed easily now, i didn't want to rush it... i wasted a lot of time, but i wonder if it'll come back to give me something beneficial for hiking such a long distance... maybe this is why my legs are so strong in enduring fatigue?

monday: 9/29

i just realized that the uc bookstore DOES sell UCD cutoffs and gym shorts; i'm planning on buying the gym shorts, and then MAYBE the cutoffs; i realized looking at both of them that with their array of navy blue, gold yellow, and white colors, that if i wore it and a yellow headband and yellow armband that i'd be jermaine o'neal :D

because of some org chem lab screwup, i have to stay longer @the university tomorrow to make up a lab, which i came on time, but the TA wasn't there, so we all left... *mumbles under breath*

btw, i realized a while ago, that since spiders don't actually eat their prey, but instead suck in their nutrients, i guess they don't crap then, eh? so when i saw a spider lately lay out a web string to climb down a ceiling, then pulled it back inside it to climb back up, i suddenly came to a stunning conclusion i never really grasped before: the webbing coming into/out of a spider is actually its crap! seriously, think about it; what else does a spider secrete out of its body besides its digestive juices? amazing how God creates creatures. i think sometimes we honestly look at the weird creatures around us and go "God... WHYY?" and God'll probably go, "cause i thought it'd be cool; i want that creature to frolic" i still dislike spiders; don't want to touch them, the bigger and hairier they are, the more i dislike them, and dislike running into their webs, but y'kno, after thinking about their ingenuity more and more, you come to realize just how special they are in God's eyes, and respect them; it does not fear the insect, even though it is blind(it has 8 eyes, but it has VERY limited vision); it doesn't need to crap, and it can do something useful with its crap (imagine the elimination of all toilets if we crapped out string strong enough to hold us from a celing from our asses, and could pull it back in if we wanted)... i think though very few girls'll think of that when they see a spider... only freak out then either try to run away or call some guy to come in and kill it :D

time crisis 3 seems more difficult than the previous time crisis; i like that; they put less emphasis upon completing the game by time, but make the enemies harder to kill and tougher; sure, it's frustrating at times, but i think it makes the game a lot more challenging, and thus more fun. it also seems that you can't just let go of the pedal at the last moment and duck any projectile; you need to duck a certain period before the projectile hits you. also, i just LOVE hosing ppl down with the machine gun! of course, the key to this game is knowing when to stick to the handgun(which still has unlimited ammo as long as you duck to reload), when to use the 2 firearms(both of which have their weaknesses and strengths; the machine gun has a ton of ammo and rapid-fires, the shotgun does a ton of damage and spreads a lot), and when to use the grenade launcher as a last resort(the number of grenades you carry with it are VERY few, like 2 usually and then if you get lucky, 5), i think the key is this; stick with the handgun if you can, but if you can't, or run into harder opponents, ones which require more than 6 shots to kill, or ones carrying better weaponry, switch to the machine gun, or the shotgun if they're spread out more. against many heavy artillery at once, use the grenade launcher.

wednesday: 10/1

life's starting to settle into monotonousness... i wonder if i'll be able to rekindle the christian joy i think about so much... i admittedly have NOT really been spending time with God lately...

today i saw that the uc davis mu arcade place was actually holding a buncha capcom fighting game tourneys; no, i didn't join, cause i actually went to the area around early evening, and by then, the brackets were pretty much set...

btw, it's occurred to me that i'm still wearing my summer attire so far, even though fall's pretty much starting... gym shorts, and t-shirt... sometimes no t-shirt at all, when i'm in the apartment... and i still go barefoot in the apartment... davis can seem so hot sometimes... i love it like that though; at certain times, it's painful to endure; ever try running to catch a bus with a loaded backpack and a couple of things in your arms while sweat's dripping down into the armpits of your t-shirt? (whoops, too much info)... it's worth it though; i love wear gym shorts and t-shirt/no tee as opposed to t-shirt and jeans... and it gives a real appreciation for water, as you thirst for it pretty often... which only makes psalm 63:1-8 even more deep in meaning once you get this thirst

rite aid's ice cream(which is really thrifty's), is extremely cheap this week; $1.99/half gallon; i bought their espresso & biscotti flavor... it's GOOD... no wonder why thrifty's ice cream is award winning! their coffee ice cream is just FuLL of coffee flavor, and the addition of chocolate biscotti really gives it a very nice crunch to it... i encourage you the reader to go out and get it sometime this week; only sells at that price this week. IMO it's better than the commonplace mocha almond fudge flavor...

btw, after contemplating in bio how harmful hydrogenated vegetable oil is, and yet how it's pretty much adding some hydrogen into the vegetable oil, which somehow manages to change its shape, it's really dawned upon me how strange God's created this world... it seems the more we study it, the more weird it gets... have you ever considered how just adding hydrogen to your healthy vegetable oil suddenly makes it 2x worse than saturated fat? it's weird to think about...

i saw some guys/girls in the back of the bus i took to class today being extremely raucous and pulling the signal-thing repeatedly on the way... and it pissed me off, cause of the immaturish way they were acting... they were acting like kids... and then the bus stopped them in from of the elementary school on the way to ucd, and a whole bunch of them got out! they WERE kids! and then i sorta went, "err... ok, maybe i was a bit too judgmental" besides, i had to admit, i was a bit harsh... if you aren't to act rediculous at least one period in your life, you'll probably have no life...

getting better @time crisis 3... i see the ppl who play the game the most will switch their weapons the most... also, they will fire their handgun rounds faster; i noticed one of them uses his middle finger to fire the gun(it's easier to shoot faster), so maybe i'll try that sometime...

i wonder when the pg&e bill comes... so far i haven't gotten it...

"and i've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down/ in ways i never knew before i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ i've been burnt out, broken, torn out, torn down/ in ways i never knew i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ one day at a time"
jeremy camp

(i wished i could make this my words as well; it is really something to be able to feel the pain, but feel even greater joy)