hahahah...

memorable quote of today:

so this guy was in our room fooling around with jon's comp, and he was turning up the bass and volume on jon's eminem songs... to the point where our next-door neighbors were annoyed, so one of them sent him a message saying this, and i quote:

"quiet hours not over yet nigger"

hahahahahha...

on the topic of CS, i think here's a tactic you can use if you're going 1-on-1 knifing each other... so nobody uses the primary slash to do damage these days, but it's fast in startup and recovery... use it as a bait move... i was practicing my deagle skills on deagle5 today, and after both teams were knocked out except for 1 T and me, who was the 1 CT, he suggested we knife, so i said, come to bridge, then i followed him to spawn... here's what i did... instead of jumping right @him and trying to knife immediately(which is what i usually do, and it gets me killed), i rushed him, then whiffed my primary slash once a few feet from his face, and it worked; i baited him into jumping @me, so i just followed up with the secondary stab, and got a kill like that...
(btw when it comes to CS knifing if i'm serious, i never play it like that... it usually only comes out when i've run out of handgun ammo, and i'm very close up, and then possibly if the other person's out of ammo, then instead of hunkering away i just run up with the knife and try for a secondary stab... in other words i use it to finish off the person much like ppl use the grenade, except for up-close situations)

uh... do NOT buy more 3 chili-cheese products from jack in the box... i bought 3 chili-cheeseburgers, and 1 chili-cheese curly fries, and i almost couldn't finish the 3rd burger because all of the things tasted the same... i guess next time i only stick w/the fries...

i am still here in UCD, waiting for jon to finish his final... oh wait, he's done... nevermind...

now, i'm confused a bit... if any song is a worship song(just concentrating on different gods to worship), does that mean ANY song i create to God is a worship song? or, maybe what i need to aim at is a worship song that EVERYONE CAN FOLLOW... see, that would be different... perhaps that's the criteria for a praise/worship song... doesn't just apply to the writer, but to all christians...

have you ever felt like the harder you concentrate on trying to grasp the meaning of something, the further it slips from you? feels that way when you try to think of the meaning of joy... one's thing's for sure; it's not like happiness, because you can be in the lowest of lows and still have it... but how's that seen? hope? peace? faith? hmm... dunno...

later... going home manana... should be fun... song writing... bball... just hangin out w/former CTCC ppl... it's all good... getting my Saturn driver's seat fixed... (haha... finally!)

things that cause me to marvel at the works of God:
-animals that are seen in nature
-good music dedicated to God
-whenever i stop to reflect and think how much i have(i guarentee you, you have more than you possibly want the more you think about it)
-the nature environment itself
-etc... the list can get very long
-hearing a good testimony
-when i get an awesome feeling of worship of God
(the list keeps growing and growing... if you aren't living your life with joy every single moment and you're a Christian, you're messed up... seriously...)

pessimist sees the cup as half-empty... optimist sees the cup as half-full... atheist sees the cup as half-empty, and draining... but a christian sees the cup as overflowing... :)

i am currently taking a liking to Lincoln Brewster- Let the praises ring(and i am expecting Bob to any minute jump in and comment, heh heh, i heard his church is in SAC, and that he leads with an electric guitar and sings w/his throat):

lyrics:
Oh Lord my God, in You I put my trust
Oh Lord my God, in You I put my hope
(repeat)

In You, in You I find my peace
In You, in You I find my strength
In You, I live and move and breathe
Let everything I say and do
Be founded by my faith in You
I lift up holy hands and sing:
Let the praises ring!

Oh Lord my God, to You I give my hands
Oh Lord my God, to You I give my feet
Oh Lord my God, to You I give my everything
Oh Lord my God, to You I give my life

i'll write later; it's late @night...

memory flashback...

when jon actually decided to accompany me to Davis Korean Church, all the guys/gals there were friendly to him, they were asking him for his cell phone #(don't get any wrong ideas, heh heh)... and one former Lynbrook girl was like,
"your number has '666' in it... i don't like this number!"

hahahaha...

... oooooh, dammmn... thank YOU god!

so while i'm still praying and hoping that God'll give me at least a B in chem, and an A in LAI, at least he made my Philosophy of Biology final so friggin easy... it was all you God... all you... thanks a lot...

btw, i'm finding my love of NBA bball's rubbing off on me in my christian way of doing things... i constantly give thanks to God, but ever since i've seen NBA players sometimes point to others after a good play and say stuff like "it was all you man!"(watch the new T-Mac shoe from addidas commercial to get an idea), i find i've been doing that everytime i get giddy after God's done something good for me... i'll end up pointing to heaven(or i should say, the sky; dunno where heaven really is), look up and mouth, "it was all you man!" God knows what i'm talking about... i love that feeling... and that's what i'm feeling right now...

should lay off of the caffeinated beverages during dinner... i think i accidently pulled an all-nighter yesterday because i loaded on coke during dinner... i just couldn't sleep... luckily, i don't feel any headaches today... again, all you God...

btw, i'm wondering how God views electronic gaming... especially the violent ones, ie CS, Quake, VF4Evo... does he condemn them completely? or are they something like money, where it's neutral? you're not killing anybody in reality, so i dunno... cause in a way, you could view a competitive game of CS or VF4Evo more as a sport than an actual bloodfest... i'm wondering this cause i wonder if there's computer games in heaven... just like whether or not God lets you play sports in heaven... Bob, any comment? :)

haha... laura's pulling a RT... running to in n out! yeah, that's right! that's the RT way! :)
(btw the list of fast food chains that i've ran to in UCD: Del Taco, In N Out, Taco Bell, Jack In the Box)

i think i'll do a couple things today/tomorrow:
-study for math
-think more about the song i'm gonna record during break
-think more about worship lesson
-buy some books for next quarter
-CS
-QTs and prayer
(i have a lotta time, so i gotta make sure i don't blow it all on CS :D)

um, yeah, that's pretty good...

man, i think my optical mouse's getting worn... i say this because it feels like my mouse wheel's giving more... it used to have a bit more resistance when i tried to spin it, but ever since i played CS and got crazy spinning it, it's got less resistance... i should be a little more careful spinning it... like spin it only one notch at a time...

uh, study time today...

jerm: doh.. gotta pick up sister now
me: haha
jerm: i'm almost all undressed too
me: ahaahhaha
(jerm was about to take a shower, just to get the facts straight... he wasn't looking at porn or anything sick like that)

del taco has 3 tacos each tuesday night for 99 cents... OOOOH! well, gotta make sure it's not just the UCD area del taco...

i love it when crunch time's upon you and you come out on top... shows which side God was on... sometimes...

do we really need this war w/Iraq? we should've ended it a long time ago, now, it's not the right time...

Isaiah 58: the whole point of this chapter is that repentance is not the only thing that will cause God to come back and lift your troubles off your back... you also need to put your feelings into deed... you can't expect words to move God... your actions will speak the whole truth... yea, that was the chapter that i decided to read today...

Skillet- You Are My Hope(Air 1 9.11.01 version)

do you think that the only thing required to turn back your punishment are your words? your feelings, your actions will also say that as well... what else... do you think only the wrong face troubles?

are ppl born evil? no... but it's in their nature... and it's obviously much easier to do evil than good... and your task as you go along this world-life how to break that nature and to come back...

haha... i just noticed how NBA.com has this weird link comparing which colleges produced the best players... it's interesting... check it out:

College Bball Rosters

matches up the best players from each college... damn... seems like a ton of the good players come from Norta Carolina... Jason Kidd hails from Cal? Arizona and Michigan each have their share of good players... Arenas... haha... both AI and Mutumbo went to Georgetown!

i still can't believe i don't have a final test tomorrow... keep checking the syllabus and yes, the final paper was the last thing...

it's so hard to ignore the past and concentrate upon the present even when the future seems so uncertain... like when you don't think your GPA will cut it for what you want... but i realize that it's not the end of the world if you don't make your major... there's always hope... but like i said, it's so hard to put this idea into practice...

yaaaaay, Daioh.com's back up again! now i can watch VF4 Evo tourney matches again!(watches 20+ min disappear from each school day)

btw has anyone gotten a bit queasy about the upcoming confrontation between the US and Iraq? i'm wondering if it's possible for this to lead right into Armageddeon...

haha... maybe i don't have a final tomorrow... all the syllabus for the class' final for tomorrow that i see is a final paper... and i'm done w/that... maybe i should double check... in about 10 min... but i'm so much fun listening to VF4 Evo soundtracks! haha... just like the way Louis has too much fun listening to his ol school video game soundtracks...

*sigh*... now i'm just hoping that God gives me a B in chem for the winter quarter... i didn't really feel too good about that final... basically, i'm hoping that the teach curves it, and curves it really hard, like maybe 40 for the average, and the standard deviation's 10...

and yet, i find this thing called life hard to grasp, because on the one hand, there's what i know i'm supposed to do in hard situations like these(trust in God, keep your cool, stop fretting about what's happened and concentrate on what will), and yet i still have afterthoughts... too many of them... life's hard, no doubt... the hard situations make you, as some put it...

happy bday lydia... though i don't talk to her online, so she prob doesn't even know i put up her bday for everyone to see...

the hard situations will bring out who you really are, no matter what you've done for the good and easy times... and i can see my human nature right now... it's ugly... anger, impatience, frustration, lacking self-control... i wish i could change it instantly, but i seem to be one of those types of people who are good when the going's good, bad when it's bad...

ahh, what can you do... i guess just ignore anything that isn't currently happening and concentrate upon the present... and always keep your cool, appreciating the circumstances you've been handed... i just wish God would make that more and more like my nature, where i can keep cool in the face of adversity

*sigh*... sometimes i really DO wish i could undo all my wrongs... there's just too many... and ykno how everything from the past influences the present? yeap... that's why i have so much to study for for my incoming chem test which is mon afternoon... made it hard on myself...

anyone from CTCC reads this before that time, plz pray for me... i really need an A... i really believe i do...

what is the meaning of Job 6? perhaps Job wants an answer from God... perhaps he shuns his friends because they don't offer him consolation but instead throw accusations at him... perhaps Job wants to know whether or not he's done wrong... i dunno, it get a bit confusing around...

sometimes white girls can be so... weird... i'm not saying ALL white girls are like that, but there's been 2 incidences this weekend where white girls were acting stupid... 2 girls are waiting at a stoplight, and right when it turns into "walk" i cross... they're still talking... when they stop and start to walk it's already turned into a red light... haha... suckers... the other incident is when one girl forgets to lock her restroom portapotty door...

skip church to study chem... and i am still not done... WHY?

i find myself...
lost and unfound
on the ground
trying to explain what it means to be unfree
i never understand what it means to give it up
never knowing the pleasure
of fully depending solely on you
for love, joy and peace

why...
why do i torture myself this way depriving myself of sleep due to material possessions... depriving it over playing my guitar to you, that's ok IMO... but to do it to CS... i'm hating myself...

and ykno what's even sadder is that i'll act like i never learned a single lesson 1-2 weeks later... how shameful of myself...