i think after today, i think i may respect spiders more due to the way God designed them, although i still despise them for their hideous looks...

when i walked outside my house today, i heard a loud buzzing noise coming from above me from the large tree in front of my house. thinking it was a bee, i looked up, and saw what looked like an incredible sight; a spider was wrapping a trapped bee in its own webbing, spinning it horizontally as it worked, its 8 legs rapidly spinning it... the bee was obviously trying to call for help, but no bee came, and afterward you can guess what happened; the buzzing died down and the bee died. then i saw the spider actually unweb its large web that it had set up and began to carry the now-dead bee away... when i came back from a 10 min drive and looked at the exact spot again, the entire web, the spider and the bee were gone... amazing...

why is this so amazing? well, i could reflect this with a christian perspective or simply marvel at what God has created; i'll do the 2nd 1st. often we just think of spiders as hideous creatures who just lounge near their web, waiting for prey to come along or running out of unexpected areas in houses to freak out light-hearted girls(or jeremy :D). but for me to actually see this creature at work on its prey and how ingeniously it bagged the bee, killed it(it was almost funny how it spun the bee around, disregarding its buzzing or fearing its stinger), then carried it away along with all its webbing(compare this to a game hunter who pitches his tent on the outskirts of a forest, then goes in, shoots a deer, wraps it in a trash bag then unpacks his tent and moves everything out), was just incredible... you might even characterize that spider as being fearless; in some cases that came to my mind, because you could see that the spider did NOT fear the bee's stinger OR the other bees that mightve come, which brings me to christian reflections from this; you can either see the spider as a strong christian, and the bee as satan, or you could see the bee as a christian, and the spider as satan; the 1st is that God is so friggin strong, he enables you to fearlessly put away the devil, unafraid that the devil can summon as many of his minions at you as he wants(in the spider-bee case, all the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing too); the 2nd is that even if Satan is able to gangbang upon you, you are able to call upon God, and he will call his angels to come help you out(in this case, let's ignore the fact that the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing)

i don't get how ballers can wear wristbands up at their elbow area; i tried doing it, and i felt like i was cutting off my circulation; then again, if i just stretch out the elastic band, in a few games here and there it'll probably feel pretty comfortable to wear.

casting crowns' song, "if we are the body," intrigues me; well, the lyrics do; they go, "if we are the body, why aren't his arms reaching? why aren't his hands healing? why aren't his words teaching? ... why aren't his feet going?" this is basically a new way to say an old teaching; you come to think about it, the body of Christ is at times one really pathetic body; arms cramping up, feet collapsing, etc... we're supposed to be reaching out, doing what God wants us to do, and yet we don't; it's like an arm which is perfectly healthy but flops all over the place when you want it to do something, like pick up a pencil...

the other new song i heard which really intrigues me is jonah33- faith like that:

I have read about the days of old
About the men who followed You
And how they saw the supernatural
And became the chosen few
So I come before You now
Tearing off my earthly crowns
For this one thing I have found

CHORUS:
I want a faith like that
To see the deed rise or to see You pass by, oh I
I want a faith like that whatever the cost
I'll suffer the loss, oh, I
I want a faith like that

I'm not looking for a miracle
Signs and wonders or thing s thereof
I caught a glimpse of what You want for me
And what I have is not enough
I read the story one more time
Of those who gave to You their lives
With mo fear or compromise

CHORUS
I want a faith that can move any mountain
And send them to the seas
I want a faith that can break every stronghold
That keeps You, that keeps from me

aw shoot, now i can't remember if i shut off my guitar equipment or left if on at home *cringes at the electricity bill and wonders i should leave my mom, go home, turn it off, then come back to the library*

jerm is impossible to bang in against; i might as well have better success trying to move a brick wall by backing against it... at least i can still shoot over him... (reminds self not to try jumping onto him to try to block his hook; go around, dork)

it's fun songwriting... i think i almost forgot about its joys, it's one of the ways i find myself centered upon God, and i haven't been doing it too much lately, not enough... there's a bit of frustration in the process as always, but i think the end result is worth it; my drum loops sound a bit better now, and i'll prob be done with that tonight... with any luck, i'll have finally finished my 1st song for the summer tonight... no more "drummer on meth", as phil referred to it when he 1st heard my rough :D

i think i forgot the joys of waking up REALLY early... i should do it more often(did it today to drive mom to work, since the camry's being serviced); sure it feels chilly in the morning, but it's the whole notion of getting the most outta your day, then falling asleep right when nighttime falls... enjoy the light, cause God created it, ykno? whereas most of my friends would rather stay up late and wake up late... and they don't even thank God for the stars in the night and stuff... at least to my knowing...

here's something interesting; if i wear a green headband and put a green wristband,
on my right hand, above my elbow: i'm wearing it like walter mcarthy
on my left hand, below my elbow: i'm wearing it like paul pierce
(or i could just be a dorky asian who thinks he's one of the two when he can't even elevate high enough to posterize on others, let alone consistently land jumpers right off the dribble, or even slash consistently to the basket without getting the ball picked away)

it's kinda interesting: sometimes i can't play first-person shooters at all(it makes me wonder how the heck i was able to play cs at all in davis); i tried playing half-life yesterday, and got so friggin dizzy i started getting headaches and thinking i was gonna throw up if i didn't stop... i wonder if it's a sign from God(it probably is), cause i really want to finish up songwriting with a bang, instead of having to put things off again til the next break(whoever knows when that is)... *sigh*... i wish God would give me short-lived dizziness and nausea everytime i was gonna do something displeasing to him... it would make my christian life so much easier... then again, concerning human nature... i would never be able to get outta bed if that occurred, cause i would just be so sick i could hardly get up... good try rich, but no cigar...

ever think about how closed-minded or weird the music consumer can be sometimes? some of them get turned off simply because they hear the word "jesus" in a song(makes me marvel at how mercy me's "i can only imagine" even made it onto the secular charts, by luck of a tolerant radio station accepting a caller's request)... or how people don't think that a band can be christian until they read about it(i personally had no idea that lifehouse was even a christian band until bob told me about it, and no idea creed was NOT one until bob also sent an email)... yet ppl will dive into 50 cent or something else without really contemplating the lyrics...

conan had his 10th anniversary yesterday... MAN! i had no idea jennifer garner was dumb as a rock!
garner to conan: you should know better, snuck is not a real word, and you went to harvard...
(conan then proceeds to flip open a dictionary to the word snuck, reads the dictionary definition, then laughs evilly at garner)

i wanna play "stackenblacken"! that sounds fun! or meet up w/scoop dogg! if you didn't watch conan yesterday i don't think you'd get it :D

i'm planning on getting a green wristband using my monstrous load of spare change i have floating around at home, since spare change is mostly a burden to carry around in order to buy anything...(and it was only like 1.50 at big5 today) although my left or right limbs don't really give off a lotta sweat when i ball, i think it'd be a good complement to my green headband... i wonder how many people would think "paul pierce" if i went w/green headband, green wristband, white cutoff, gym shorts and baller shoes... on halloween... in UCD... i have no white gym shorts though, and my baller shoes are I-3...

doesn't it ever dawn upon you just how much ppl "don't get it?" if you're a closed-minded nonbeliever, you don't get it... if you're a believer, but your priorities are mixed up or occasionally shift in the wrong direction, you also don't get it. guy-girl relationships aren't evil, but i am really beginning to see how your college years are really the best time to cultivate the christian you should become so that when you emerge from college you will be STRONG, and if you set anything before it, or even try to juggle it with something else you want to grow(maybe that girl likes me, lemme try to get her to be my lover, etc), you could run into problems. i wrote this huge blot on my cell phone notepad, where i basically thought about why mike said absk in ucla is so small... no one wants to take responsibility... everyone thinks that life is too precious to put everything on the same line of christianity... again, let's emphasize this: they just don't get it... does it mean that absk is all good and all the other christian fellowships are bad? of course not! i don't go to absk in davis either... but if you're going to the christian fellowship which has the greatest following and isn't geared towards seriously improving your walk, i would question what's your motive for being there in the 1st place... with that many people in one fellowship it's tempting to go there just to find your future lover who, HEY, BY CHANCE, HAPPENS TO BE CHRISTIAN! i remember overhearing one of my classmates when i was still in high school, and he was a senior who was gonna graduate the same year i was; he was talking to another senior and saying this: "you wanna go to the christian fellowships on college, cause that's the place to meet new ppl", and i believe this guy was not a christian(hence, he was probably implying finding a date). that's not the way it works ppl... (i hope i keep these words in my mind when i go back so that i don't eat these exact words)

i am amazed at Isaiah's willingness to serve God... the beginning of his call to ministry was marked by a wonderful display of God's glory, followed by his immediate humility... when God asked who would be willing to go to preach to his ppl, instead of hiding in the shadows like many other prophets, Isaiah willingly volunteered. Isaiah 53 is also the passage which reads like an eyewitness POV of Jesus' death, and yet it was written centuries before Jesus... amazing, this prophesy... I wonder how the unbelieving Jews try to explain away this one...

one thing i've realized about my cell; since it has a built-in keyboard, and i am more likely to carry it around with me than my laptop, i've decided to put my prayer notes on it, since it'll be easier to look at it. and since i'm probably gonna look more frequently at it too.

man, everybody wants my cell phone... it must be that good... God apparently works in weird ways to give me things that i shouldn't have gotten. (btw everyone who's asking for the price, it's free after rebate) hey, admittedly, i don't come from a wealthy family, and yet i've been blessed with an electric guitar+ various accessories to go w/it(i'm counting 2 amps and 3-4 effects pedals), a laptop, and now, one of the better cell phones on the market... it makes me shameful though, cause i wonder how much i would be willing to give back to God... he's seriously given me so much... sometimes, i think of what i LACK... and then sometimes i think of what i have, and it's really overwhelming...

ok, here's the biggest thing i found out today that i am having trouble getting used to:

I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!

Michelle's expecting around May, and i'm so surprised(and happy) for her and my bro...

pretty young to be an uncle eh? everytime i think of the age gap between me and my bro i wonder how unique it must be to have a bro who is 8 years older than you... it's like having a church counselor as your brother! :D i might as well congratulate bob for getting married and getting his wife pregnant :D

and it's interesting as i'm pondering this... it is really something to be happy for others instead of yourself... sometimes, it's really tough to swallow, but other times, it overwhelms you with joy... this is one of those joyful times... in some ways it is sorta selfish though, cause i didn't feel the same joy when lucas was born, as the relationship between me and phil is obviously a lot closer than with luwen... nevertheless, i'm happy for you phil(and michelle)! lemme know what comes up next(if you're reading this)