i apologize if i am stuffing all this info down your throat at once; my apartment's internet wasn't available until now. that, and the fact that i couldn't figure how to config my laptop so i could use the wireless connection all over the davis campus...

tuesday: 9/23
so i finally have left home... it was hard to realize it, tough to let go... seriously, sometimes i feel like there's so much i could've done during summer, but wasted... such is life, but you can't turn back... even though none of the other guys had problems with quitting with combo movies in COTA and trying to songwrite, i think the others wished there was more they got out spiritually too. it was funny leaving home though; i stalled just when i was just about to leave, as if the car didn't want to leave cupertino either :D

there was a rush hour when i left, which added 1 hr to the time i needed to get to UCD, but it was all good; i enjoyed the ride there... i didn't really do anything when i finally unpacked, just sorta hoped for the best, ate, and went to sleep; we haven't gotten internet yet, which is why this log is long overdue...

and i still miss air1; it's true; i've grown to love cupertino radio stations:
air1: 100.9; by far my favorite radio station ever; i would have never imagined a christian radio station playing ALTERNATIVE ROCK...
channel: 104.9, also a good runner up, for secular alternative rock...
ksjo: 92.3, when you wanna hear harder, older skool rock, also a good station
... and there's the other various radio stations i had back down there, 94.9,
106.1, 89.3, etc...

i will also once again miss playing with the young adults, with bob leading worship on sundays, and just getting together on saturday to kick back and relax practicing for worship on sunday... small group worship is always something i relish, and something i wish we could do more often...

btw, it seems my cell doesn't get good reception at davis; maybe it's just my phone, although it is situational; when i got to UCD, i could see more than 3 bars of reception, whereas in my room there are none at all... so if you call me, don't be surprised if you can only leave a message; i apologize ahead of time...

wednesday: 9/24
got up early, but since i went to sleep later, i got up, turned off the alarm clock(for some reason even though i set it to a christian radio station before hitting the bed, it changed to some mexican station when i woke up), then went right back to sleep... pitiful... btw, this was the 1st time i ever ate kashi, the go lean crunch type; it's not bad; kinda like a crunchier kellogg's smacks, but with cinnamon added...

i also took the unitrans to school to buy books(the bus schedule actually looks a lot more reliable every time i take a closer look; i could get used to using it a lot), where i actually met andrew ho, a now college freshman; this guy went to kennedy as well as monta vista; we were in the same bio ap class, and did a group project together. i think he was as surprised to see me as i was, but it's all good; surprisingly, he's also living in the same apartment area as i was last year.

it seems that everytime i think of the number of things i need to do(change major, meaning i need to find an adviser to sign my petition, but i didn't have an adviser last year, also i need to update my apartment info, since i didn't fully fill it in, etc, mayber change my schedule, or buy some more books?), i get overwhelmed...

oh yeah, our UCD arcade now has time crises 3; it looks pretty impressive; it reminds me of the FPS games on the cpu, but gone arcade; now you have limited ammo(discourages random firing and then just ducking to reload), and can toggle between a handgun, machine gun, shotgun, and grenade launcher during a game; you shoot special people to gain ammo to any of those guns. i could imagine that the next best arcade shooter would be one which combines the principles of time crisis 3 with police 911-2; you now can hide by your movement, and need to reload manually with your hand(or something like that), as well as having limited ammo and a variety of guns to go by... that would be sweet...

and finally, today was the 1st day i actually cooked a meal(and i mean that i actually got out a pot and made a soup, instead of pouring cannned chili into a bowl, sticking it in a microwave and nuking it)... i think i made a good won-ton soup(i'll of course give credit to morris' mom for making the won tons; i only had to put them in the pot, then add vegetables and salt later... it was fine, but i think i either added too much water or too little salt; probably the 2nd, but i can't tell; i tried adding about the same amount of salt my mom does, but it didn't make the soup that well, otherwise, i think it was good; not bad for a 1st try; i'll imagine i get better at this as i go along...

i think in my spare time i'll devote myself to thinking more about worship as well as songwriting; last year i spent WAY too much time just playing cpu games, and that ruined the potential there; this year, it's gonna be different; hopefully, no capcom gaming, and very minimal, controlled csing(which admittedly is gonna be tough, since 1.6 came out, but i'll find strength in God)... also, this summer i didn't get to talk to the youth about worship, because i felt i wasn't ready; by giving myself time to really think about God and guitars, instead of ak47s and awps, i should be able to get some really good thoughts down...

oh yeah, i want to ball a lot more in davis now; seriously, it seems that the more i age, the more i love bball; i regret how when mj was still at his best that i was concerned about other things; i liked the bulls at the time, but i had never really studied how mj played; he is still my all-time favorite baller, but now i wish i'd watched him play SERIOUSLY, instead of just sucking up and leaving it at that... it was only during senior year of high school when i had 5 classes that i had a lotta free time to play sega sports' nba 2k(also something i have to thank for getting me into bball; was the 1st truly realistic bball game i ever played), and to watch many nba on nbc games... that was when i truly developed the love for bball, and i feel it's ever growing... i can't wait for bball season to start again... which is good and bad(am i concentrating too much on earthly things? makes me wonder why i don't share the same passion about friday nights(well, sometimes i do), as well as sunday mornings...)

so... it begins... tomorrow morning... this is one reason i dislike school; the potential to become even stronger is there, but the potential to become even weaker is also there, because if there is adversity, and you face up to it and overcome it, you become stronger, but if the adversity is there, and you sucuumb to the pressure, you reveal just how weak you are... of course, i don't HATE it with a vengence, but i wish i were stronger...

thursday: 9/25
ran into one of the friends i met at msm... that was cool...

got lost again... (is this a trend of mine? to get lost on one of my 1st days back at UCD? happened last year...)

ooo... free jeremy camp show w/telocast on friday... this should be good, but i gotta find out where central park is in davis...

moved up a notch in cooking... instead of won tons, i tossed in frozen chicken tenders... hey, they were raw, so...

they were showing terminator 2, so i watched that... haha... usa was showing all these arnold movies during the whole week and calling it "arnold: man of action..." but i dunno if that's gonna make him a good candidate for governor, but like i always say, you can never tell how he's gonna do until you elect him... at least for you naysayers, the good thing is he can never be a us president; the us president candidate has to be natural-borne in the us... T-2 still was fun to rewatch again... it's funny how after john connor makes the terminator promise not to kill any humans, that any humans he shoots afterward are in the kneecap... and rewatching it again i realized near the end he used the grenade launcher a LOT more... when he knocked the T-1000 into the molten pool he wasn't using a sniper rifle; THAT was the grenade launcher which the T-1000 grabbed out of his hands and flung away; when i was young and watched that part i thought it was an assault rifle... also that chain of ammo around the terminator near the end wasn't bullets... those were grenades for the grenade launcher...

friday: 9/26
still w/o internet...

i also got up so friggin late, cause bio discussion doesn't happen this week, so i have only one class, at 4:10-5:00. not to mention i stayed up late trying to read 3 more chapters of isaiah.

today was overall a great day though... probably so far my best day in UCD; i had only one class in the late afternoon, giving me time to do whatever... but that's not the reason why i had so much fun...

me and jon went to a FREE show with the liani moore band, telocast, but most importantly... JEREMY CAMP! (boy, NOW am i glad i stayed in davis this weekend as opposed to going home and seeing switchfoot, and btw if i had gotten internet earlier in davis,(or at least figured out that i could've gone to the computer room at ucd to access my email) i would've told all the youth and some of the young adults in the hopes that they'd come up, it was a great show) makes me wonder if jeremy camp loves davis; he was gonna play in an area close to davis last year as a guest artist to bebo norman...

here's my thoughts after that concert:

the liani moore band was the band me and jon saw at College Life fellowship; seeing the drummer do her stuff was again nice to rewatch. www.lianimooreband.com if you wanna know more about them.

telocast was a recently new christian band entering the music scene; only one song of theirs was recently started to be played on air1, however they're great on-stage; jon decided since they're new(and he liked the 2nd song they played on their set) to get their CD at their booth after the show; he also got it signed by all 4 band members; they had one goof-off, where the lead singer/acoustic guitarist started off their title song in too low a key, then he stopped before the band started, apologized and said, "if the band came in after that, then it'd be a whole shipwreck," and that got me and jon and the others around us laughing...

jeremy camp... dude, what can i say... if you liked him on his CD, you will LOVE him onstage... i didn't even come into the show really liking him(liked him, but not like he was my favorite artist), but after the show... i was sold... he is such a funny personality(mustve cracked jokes throughout the concert), yet he was sincere enough to share his testimony, which was a touching story of how he married a chemo patient who was deeply concentrated upon christ, and even though she died, he realized how God was calling him to deeper things. as for his music onstage... it was LOUD(having the drums, bass, and lead guitar louder than the vocals is what good concert music is about; sure, you can't tell what he's saying as well compared to the CD, but who goes to concerts to be philosophical and reflective? loud music draws you into it), ENERGETIC, HARD, and GOOD... it was electric onstage... btw, my favorite highlight was during the song "stay," ryan, the electric guitarist, took his guitar, and swung it a 360 around his shoulder by the strap, then catching it, before launching into a lead guitar solo not found on the CD version of the song... got a buncha oohs and aahs from the crowd... i wanna do that, but i need a strap that won't fly off first :D also, hearing him using the delay pedal makes me reconsider getting it again... also, another funny incident was when jeremy wanted to get the whole audience to act goofy and start dancing during a song, and then he started saying in a menacing voice "this is a FUN concert! we WILL have fun!" which was hilarious... i decided to buy his CD after the show and 2 guitar picks with his name on it :D then i got his CD signed by him, and we even had some small chat afterward... i appreciate how he tries to really to get to know everyone he meets... the signing line was so long! made longer by the fact that he tried to have small chat with everyone he signed something of, as opposed to some artists who just sign and shake hands. too bad i didn't have a digital camera, and jon didn't bring his, or i would've taken pictures of the concert me and jon went to... it definitely made me glad i stayed in davis this weekend... at first a few weeks ago i would've been bummed to not see switchfoot, but i don't even like them that much... this concert blew that notion out the window... amazing how God shows us better things along our journey even when we think it's not for the better... jon agreed with me too; jeremy camp is GOOD onstage... he's probably also gonna buy his music, except that because he was short on cash, he settled for telocast, since they're smaller, probably you can find jeremy camp a lot more places.

btw, i got a few words of wisdom from God about the subject of worship, which i wrote down this morning; a lot of the stuff i wrote down looks like something that could easily be applicable to the postponed worship lesson i had planned for the youth...

oh yeah, finally, before i close for tonight, i had a pretty dumb azn bus driver today; she couldn't get the bus started, then called out to the azn driver next to her, saying,
"i can't get my bus to start! i hold down the ignition!"
"did you remember to put the bus in neutral?"
*dumb bus driver puts bus in neutral, then tries again; bus starts immediately*
*helpful bus driver gives a big grin and gives a thumbs up*
*all the girls around me start to snicker*
i then quip, "no comment" to the girl next to me, and she responds with "i know"
(oh yeah, i don't think she knows the route either; some girl asked,
"can you drop me at lake and covell?"
"here?" hahahaha...)

saturday: 9/27

it never really dawns on me just how much humans are like God, in the relation that they love to create. even if you aren't creative, there's something found in the joy of being able to say "i made something out of nothing;" i guess then i like being creative myself(i wonder if it has something with being left-handed, and thus, being right-brained, since the right brain is the more creative side of our brains). when i was young i LOVED to doodle(and while i never break out a pen and paper anymore, sometimes i undergo artistic ventures; my buddy icon was made by me completely by scratch in my spare time), when i'm older i now love playing the guitar and creating my own songs; also since i was always into fighting games, i love the prospect of being able to create a combo which wasn't written down before(and recording it, if it can be played on my emulator), as well as writing FAQs about them. and now, i'm starting to like cooking; mind you, i still can't create my own recipes, but with what i've done so far at davis, i like(it's still more complex than anything else my roommates have done so far). i started adding more stuff into the chicken tender soup i commonly have made up at davis. it seems though that potatoes give out SOOO much water... usually i only ended up with 1/2 a pot of soup, but by the time i finished, i almost had a full pot... i also added black pepper and fresh garlic to it, which actually was a good move. i had questioned the adding of garlic right after i was done cooking, but it apparently got cooked in whatever heat was left in the pot, so it wasn't necessary to cook it longer. and i still have some left over to eat on sunday!

i can't even begin then, in such a manner to realize the joy God must've had in creating humans; at the time, it was his highest skilled work; an organism who could think on its own. after he created it, he simply said "well done" but he was probably estatic with joy. and the more i reflect upon it, i wonder what gave God greater joy; the creation of humans, or the redemption of them right after Jesus died. i mean, the redemption suddenly gave the entire world hope once again, but for God, it was bittersweet, having to watch Jesus die upon the cross, writhing in pain.

i met up with some family in davis; i dunno too much about them admittedly, only that sam did babysit them, and that the older sister, amy, is a freshman here in davis. interesting; i should ask my mom again how the mother knows me(my memory is not jogging)

i wrote some more about the worship lesson i was planning; strangely, i stayed up til 2:00 writing cause things were popping into my head as i was going along...

i'm starting to wonder if my height scale at home is incorrect... am i already 6'0? maybe i should just make one and see how tall i am...

because the bus schedule stopped at 5:00 today, and because i stopped by the arcade to waste a few quarters to play time crisis 3, i had to walk home... took me a LONG time, because i had pretty much all my books in my backpack, and since my backpack gets jammed easily now, i didn't want to rush it... i wasted a lot of time, but i wonder if it'll come back to give me something beneficial for hiking such a long distance... maybe this is why my legs are so strong in enduring fatigue?

monday: 9/29

i just realized that the uc bookstore DOES sell UCD cutoffs and gym shorts; i'm planning on buying the gym shorts, and then MAYBE the cutoffs; i realized looking at both of them that with their array of navy blue, gold yellow, and white colors, that if i wore it and a yellow headband and yellow armband that i'd be jermaine o'neal :D

because of some org chem lab screwup, i have to stay longer @the university tomorrow to make up a lab, which i came on time, but the TA wasn't there, so we all left... *mumbles under breath*

btw, i realized a while ago, that since spiders don't actually eat their prey, but instead suck in their nutrients, i guess they don't crap then, eh? so when i saw a spider lately lay out a web string to climb down a ceiling, then pulled it back inside it to climb back up, i suddenly came to a stunning conclusion i never really grasped before: the webbing coming into/out of a spider is actually its crap! seriously, think about it; what else does a spider secrete out of its body besides its digestive juices? amazing how God creates creatures. i think sometimes we honestly look at the weird creatures around us and go "God... WHYY?" and God'll probably go, "cause i thought it'd be cool; i want that creature to frolic" i still dislike spiders; don't want to touch them, the bigger and hairier they are, the more i dislike them, and dislike running into their webs, but y'kno, after thinking about their ingenuity more and more, you come to realize just how special they are in God's eyes, and respect them; it does not fear the insect, even though it is blind(it has 8 eyes, but it has VERY limited vision); it doesn't need to crap, and it can do something useful with its crap (imagine the elimination of all toilets if we crapped out string strong enough to hold us from a celing from our asses, and could pull it back in if we wanted)... i think though very few girls'll think of that when they see a spider... only freak out then either try to run away or call some guy to come in and kill it :D

time crisis 3 seems more difficult than the previous time crisis; i like that; they put less emphasis upon completing the game by time, but make the enemies harder to kill and tougher; sure, it's frustrating at times, but i think it makes the game a lot more challenging, and thus more fun. it also seems that you can't just let go of the pedal at the last moment and duck any projectile; you need to duck a certain period before the projectile hits you. also, i just LOVE hosing ppl down with the machine gun! of course, the key to this game is knowing when to stick to the handgun(which still has unlimited ammo as long as you duck to reload), when to use the 2 firearms(both of which have their weaknesses and strengths; the machine gun has a ton of ammo and rapid-fires, the shotgun does a ton of damage and spreads a lot), and when to use the grenade launcher as a last resort(the number of grenades you carry with it are VERY few, like 2 usually and then if you get lucky, 5), i think the key is this; stick with the handgun if you can, but if you can't, or run into harder opponents, ones which require more than 6 shots to kill, or ones carrying better weaponry, switch to the machine gun, or the shotgun if they're spread out more. against many heavy artillery at once, use the grenade launcher.

wednesday: 10/1

life's starting to settle into monotonousness... i wonder if i'll be able to rekindle the christian joy i think about so much... i admittedly have NOT really been spending time with God lately...

today i saw that the uc davis mu arcade place was actually holding a buncha capcom fighting game tourneys; no, i didn't join, cause i actually went to the area around early evening, and by then, the brackets were pretty much set...

btw, it's occurred to me that i'm still wearing my summer attire so far, even though fall's pretty much starting... gym shorts, and t-shirt... sometimes no t-shirt at all, when i'm in the apartment... and i still go barefoot in the apartment... davis can seem so hot sometimes... i love it like that though; at certain times, it's painful to endure; ever try running to catch a bus with a loaded backpack and a couple of things in your arms while sweat's dripping down into the armpits of your t-shirt? (whoops, too much info)... it's worth it though; i love wear gym shorts and t-shirt/no tee as opposed to t-shirt and jeans... and it gives a real appreciation for water, as you thirst for it pretty often... which only makes psalm 63:1-8 even more deep in meaning once you get this thirst

rite aid's ice cream(which is really thrifty's), is extremely cheap this week; $1.99/half gallon; i bought their espresso & biscotti flavor... it's GOOD... no wonder why thrifty's ice cream is award winning! their coffee ice cream is just FuLL of coffee flavor, and the addition of chocolate biscotti really gives it a very nice crunch to it... i encourage you the reader to go out and get it sometime this week; only sells at that price this week. IMO it's better than the commonplace mocha almond fudge flavor...

btw, after contemplating in bio how harmful hydrogenated vegetable oil is, and yet how it's pretty much adding some hydrogen into the vegetable oil, which somehow manages to change its shape, it's really dawned upon me how strange God's created this world... it seems the more we study it, the more weird it gets... have you ever considered how just adding hydrogen to your healthy vegetable oil suddenly makes it 2x worse than saturated fat? it's weird to think about...

i saw some guys/girls in the back of the bus i took to class today being extremely raucous and pulling the signal-thing repeatedly on the way... and it pissed me off, cause of the immaturish way they were acting... they were acting like kids... and then the bus stopped them in from of the elementary school on the way to ucd, and a whole bunch of them got out! they WERE kids! and then i sorta went, "err... ok, maybe i was a bit too judgmental" besides, i had to admit, i was a bit harsh... if you aren't to act rediculous at least one period in your life, you'll probably have no life...

getting better @time crisis 3... i see the ppl who play the game the most will switch their weapons the most... also, they will fire their handgun rounds faster; i noticed one of them uses his middle finger to fire the gun(it's easier to shoot faster), so maybe i'll try that sometime...

i wonder when the pg&e bill comes... so far i haven't gotten it...

"and i've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down/ in ways i never knew before i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ i've been burnt out, broken, torn out, torn down/ in ways i never knew i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ one day at a time"
jeremy camp

(i wished i could make this my words as well; it is really something to be able to feel the pain, but feel even greater joy)