i dunno whether to say i'm relieved that finals are over or not...

+now winter break starts... time to jam with my guitar like crazy... and RECORD what i jam... not to mention worship on sunday... it's gonna be great...
-i really want to redo my chem final, like restudy all over again, and maybe revise my SAS paper again... oh geez... God please answer my prayer or i am dead... so much about pre-med... and i seriously thought i had studied for it too... God, this is what i mean by giving me good study habits... i just don't have them... HEEELLLLP MEEEE!!!

me: yea... haha... i played CS w/jerm yesterday and today morning :-)
wes: ohhh nice
wes: so the mouse is working quite nice eh?
me: yeah, it is
wes: u getting good?
me: somewhat...
wes: what was your best record
me: against newbies i get over 100% ratio of kills/deaths :-)
wes: haha
me: hey, you wanted my best record; it's against newbies, but you wanted it right?
wes: how about overall
wes: really?
me: ok... let's say on average i get about 25% ratio of kills/deaths
wes: i see
wes: not bad
me: yeah
me: y'kno in CS you can spraypaint on the ground or walls a certain design that you select in the options?
me: so i made one that has YLT on it :-)
wes: yep
wes: haha
me: now i'll just have to get a double kill and spray it :-)
wes: :-)
wes: i went like 24 n 8 once n bhd
me: nice...
me: i went like 1:22 the last time we played :-)
wes: since then ive been doin pretty good
me: the 1 being from that stray grenade i dropped
wes: hahaha
wes: dont worry i started out the same
me: but you had a mouse... that's already a sizeable advantage
me: newbie w/touchpad= free kill
wes: ahh thats with a touchpad..hehe didnt know
me: might as well have just played DOOM style: arrows and left hand fires
wes: :-P

more conversation fun on AIM...

grace: ricHARDDDDDDddddddd
me: hey whassap
me: decided it just wasn't fun anymore w/o someone making fun of ya?
grace: are u goooood at biology
me: oh, THAT... heh heh
me: um, maybe... what's your question?
grace: hahah
grace: ok.. its sorta long
me: it's ok... i'll either cut you off or listen the entire time... shoot :-)
(she asks a 2-part question and i answer the 1st part)
me: so i think that could answer question A
me: ... wait a minute... are you trying to mooch off of me?
grace: maybe...
grace: BUT U CAN MOOCh off of me!
me: ...cause if you are i'm logging off
me: oh... i can mooch off of a hmm... how to put this...
me: coughcoughdimwitchokegacksputter :-)
me: that just makes me feel SOOO much better :-)
me: tell you what... you tell me what you think the answer to question B is and i'll either tell you if it's right or wrong
me: i've already answered 1/2 of your questions
me: ... i bet you're not even trying... you're probably asking someone else now that i won't answer your 2nd question :-)
grace: hAHah faj;sldfj;alskj
grace: thANKS richhardd
me: see, trying to cover it up with your aldjadsj;lfdsjaldkjf
me: hey look i'm grace i talk like afjdk;ljdsa;fsj;
me: :-)
grace: hAHA nerdnERdnerd
me: hey... look who's got a guarenteed spot in UCD?
me: eh? eh?
me: i will be taunting your sorry ass in UCR if you don't figure out how to have good study habits soon :-)
grace: i HAVE GOOD STUDDY ahbits!
me: haha... which explains why you said you didn't last time?
grace: oh
grace: darnit!
grace: really
me: haha
me: please... stop making me roll around with laughter :-)
grace: HAH.. jfa;lskdfja;lsfa;ls bE NICE
me: i am nice... in a weird sarcastic way :-)
me: can't you picture me grinning as i'm writing this?
grace: no
grace: ahhahaha
grace: well yes
me: haha... see... don't you LOOVE that christmas spirit? of me grinning from mocking you?
grace: oooooof course
grace: ahhaah what're u doing
grace: when ju omcing back/
me: see, this is why you're going to UCR... i can't understand what the heck you just wrote :-)
me: now, can you rephrase that... in ENGLISH?
me: :-)
me: oooh... wait... when are you coming back... OOOH... ok... saturday afternoon... why, bored?
grace: OKKKK i dont tlka like that!!!
grace: i talk .. coherently
grace: moST OF hte itme
me: ...now i just DON'T GET WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING! do you mean most of the time, cause you wrote "most of hte itme" what the heck is "hte itme"? :-)
grace: well
grace: it means the time
grace: HAhah

getting better @CS... i had my moment today... down to 1 on 2... with an AK47... headshot the 1st CT, then strafed back and forth and gunned down the 2nd one for a 2-in-a-row kill, giving our team the win... jerm was watching since he was already dead... he was like "Go ReCharred!" haha... YLT? anyways, it's pretty fun playing CS w/jerm... and i guess i'm not a complete newbie, because i HAVE watched jon play for some time in UCD now :)

i have the weirdest CS config ever... it centers around the fact that i am left-handed and play electric guitar... thus my left-up/down-right is controlled by pinky-ring-middle... and i make use of the fact that i was given an optical mouse w/a wheel, so i reload with the wheel and toggle the 2nd weapon w/the wheel.

plan to create a YLT and nha un doc spraypaint for CS... also plan to record at least one of my songs over break...

also, just registered for my 4th class... i hope God was helping me when i was doing it, cause i have no idea if the electives i chose would be right for me.

talk later... gotta study... pray for me...

oh yeah... now Davis' bowling alley does keep track of your scores electronically, so that's cool... i still mainly go there to play MVC1 now, not bowl... but if you guys ever wanna... why not...

i am about 50% into my SAS essay, am kinda braindead about it though... it's due on saturday, and i can turn it in up to 6 pm... doubtful i'll want to stay that long in UCD though. my math final's done for, so it's just that and chem(i think i can say chem's about 50% done with)...

i would hope that God helps me not to forget him and to foster in me a desire to do the best i can with anything i do... i would also hope he gives me self-control in order to discern what is right from wrong, or what is better from what is worse.

someone pray for all the schoolers that we all know... we ALL need motivation to study... it's what gets the grades... i just want the motivation to learn...

problem w/me playing CS is that i get too panicky when i see more then 1 person at once and so i overaim the mouse... i could turn down the mouse sensitivity, but i think it's more due to my uncalmness that causes this.

i'll talk later... i can't really think right now, and need to study.

i'm doing better at CS- both at playing it, and capping my time :) btw, now everyone on my dorm floor wants to play with opposing force and blue shift :) chem study when i get back, then off to the MU

talked w/olivia today! heh heh, whoopdedoo...

olivia: richard, can i ask you what fuels ur faith?
me: um... hmm... a good worship song, maybe hope?
me: i've never been asked this question before, so i don't know how to answer you :-)
olivia: that's cool...
olivia: just wondering what keep u on track with God... or draws you to Him.. what makes you want to worship HIm?
me: umm... when something makes me stand in awe of him
me: that makes me wanna worship him
me: when someone offers some new insight that i haven't thought of before
me: that makes me get drawn closer to God
olivia: cool.
olivia: mee too.
me: and also when i can remind myself that i have something special in Christianity that nonbelievers don't, that also draws me closer to God
me: there's a lotta stuff that fuels my faith, those are just the general stuff
olivia: ... what gets you daily? Do you talk with jon? do you read? do you go and listen to sermons?
me: i sit and muddle
olivia: hm. :-)
olivia: muddle, eh?
me: yeap
olivia: i'm so glad that God meets you in your muddle time
olivia: :-)

stupid hotmail won't let me in for the past 3 days... anyone else get this problem, or is it just me?

what i find interesting is basically after talking to jerm on the sermon down in riverside, is that:

-the end will come after all the nations have heard the gospel, then support for Israel will withdraw, and then read my other log of this day for more info...

what if you know God and have accepted Jesus, but sin RIGHT when Jesus comes? are we still taken into heaven? jerm asked me this and i didn't know how to respond... i would assume that Jesus would understand and STILL take you into heaven, but i dunno... still this fear... makes me occasionally get on my knees and ask for forgiveness from God cause i fear i don't have it right and might be taken right there.

this kindles an interest for me to start the later books of the old testament... imagine how much stuff has been predicted that has NOT occurred yet.

should we be worried? no, if you're a christian, then this promise applies:

Psalm 91:7-8: A thousand may come at your side, ten thousand at your right side, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

notes of the sermon @norm's church on 12.8.02... i think it was very interesting and bilical based... plz read my notes that i took... it will clear up a LOT of the questions about what happens near the end of the world.

Luke 21: End of the World Near?

Destruction of temple: parallel to Twin Towers?

What Jesus predicted turned out to be exactly true... think of when the temple was taken down stone by stone
So think of what will be fulfilled in the future that God predicted

Matthew 16:2-3- You can see the obvious, but you can't see the signs of the times, according to Jesus when he's talking to the stiff-minded ppl

You can't find out when Jesus will come back, but you always hear those rumors of when he will come

You can however see many signs of that time coming...

Israel- about 2x of Riverside, Zechariah 12:9
(when Jerusalem is surrounded by armies, the end is near... God wants to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem)

Ezekiel 36:22- God brought back the Jews although they were scattered amongst the nations

Ezekiel 36:28-30- Israel has become right

2nd sign: Ezekiel 38-39- Magog... no love for Israel... modern-day is Russia... marches against Israel w/allies(Persia?)

Ezekiel 38:8

Ezekiel 38:9-11

summary of events to end of world
---------------------------------
1st: Israel regathered- DONE
2nd: Israel dwells in confidence- DONE
3rd: Israel has hostile enemies- DONE
4th: Israel isolated; not yet... we the US still support them

as we have kept supporting Israel we would be blessed, but pressure is increasing to withdraw from Israel

after the conflict, God draws back the army, and Israel will mourn, and a revival will occur. he will then pour out his spirit upon Israel.

before this, the rapture will occur. it is not until we meet Christ before the following occurs...

Revolution 13:16-18
there is an antichrist who will come and draw others to himself. he will attempt a peace that supposedly end the conflict between Jews and Palestinians. then he comes up with the idea that someone only allowed to buy w/a mark.

think of the microchip that can be implanted in their skin...

you should be looking for CHRIST though, not the antichrist...

somebody pray for me... haven't gone to fellowship or church in Davis this week... not that i'm falling away from God(i feel like i'm communicating with him more than last year), but i've been going to sleep more later than before... so that totally ruins my strength to get up for church... i'm hoping that i will study and finish all my stuff before friday night so i can attend fellowship again...

haha... our live Math review session on TV looks like a cooking show... with letters substituted for ingredients... oh, lesse, we'll just add a dash of variable y to here(writes on equation on screen), then mix and take this over here, a little subtraction, and viola! we get the equation for a parabola!

i think i will be watching online church again tonight... given if i have the time...

must put a time cap on CS when i play, or i'll just run loose... it happened late last night, it could happen again.

oh yeah, i know we've wondered about this thought before; is God able to sin? i mean, he really is God, he can get away with it, can't he? and of course ppl will respond, "no, cause it goes against his nature." and then it goes back to the thought of his absolute power. so my answer to that is this: YES, God is able to sin, because he is able to do whatever he wants. BUT, he has a reputation to hold up, and because it's the very definition that defines him as the biblical God, he MUST hold up this image of him being a holy, righteous, just God, slow to anger, quick to forgive. basically, God wouldn't be called God if he sinned... he would have absolute power still, but he would NOT be called God. think about what would happen if God really did decide to sin... people would go, "oh, because God's able to sin, I can sin too... God's the creator of the universe and knows everything doesn't he?" if God did sin, then we could argue that atheists are right... because if what we define as a God doesn't match our God, then do we really have a God? but thank God that he's willing to hold up this definition of being a God, and because of that, we have hope...

stuff to do tonight:
finish studying for Math(shouldn't take too long)
write some more for SAS final paper
online church
write some notes on worship
and then when all's said and done... visit the MU for some MVC1 ass-whupping, maybe come back and play some CS