man, i just do NOT feel like doing work today... what is wrong w/me... i am seriously going to pry myself off this cpu at the cpu lab when i'm done and just go home and cook some dinner; maybe i'll feel a bit better then.

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i now have the official "uc davis cowtipping team" t-shirt. got it on sale.

cause you know how i like playing sports, rofl.

fyi, if you did not know, if you actually DO tip a cow over @ucd, you get expelled. no joke. so much about all those high school jokes of smelling manure and tipping cows over at ucd.

and we have fisculated cows @ davis; in the name of science, we have cows which have holes going from the outside into the stomach. no it does not hurt them, and yes they still live. one of the things i would like to do b4 i graduate is stick my hand into a fisculated cow; they allow you to; i've just never found out who to get in contact at the university to do it.

Cow with hole-ie in it

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struggling over myself over how much man has control over himself vs how much God exerts his will over the world is one of the biggest things that has racked, RACKED my mind as of late. this is really deep if you think about it. i know the Bible states about how there's NO ONE righteous, none have sought after God, and how God predestined us. but then, why would God tell us to work hard? by working hard, does God predestinate us to receive good things? how bout the mindset to work hard; was that predestinated by God, or originated by our own minds(if you think that just because we thought about working hard, means we chose our own destiny, you're ruling out the possibility of God putting that thought there in the 1st place)? then of course, we have the thing that God will always look after his children regardless of how much they slip up. so if that's predestinated, why work? maybe i'll fall, maybe i'll succeed, but either way God will bring me to what he wants me to do. if God wanted me to become a preacher, would it matter whether I got a 4.0 in genetics courses or not? even if he wanted me to be a geneticist, would it matter again? with God there's always a way. sooo...

not saying you shouldn't work, but this is one of those really tough to answer questions. and i can't say that God doesn't predestinate my life, so i shouldn't work, because that would be contradicting what the Bible said. but yet, we know that not everything in life is going to be given to you on a silver platter, so again, i ask, what's what?

this is one of those questions where i truly don't believe anything i hear from anyone could really satisfy my longing for an answer to this question. i WOULD like God to tell me myself, but i bet if he really tried to tell me the whole specifics and detail, my head might explode from trying to comprehend what he just told me.