so i will be frank in saying this summer wasn't all that i had hoped it to be... i only finished making 2 .mp3's outta 3 songs i wanted to create this year, and one of them was only really a remix(sadly, i had gotten caught up in being lazy, and just playing my capcom emulators to death)... i still haven't finished making an .mp3 for the 2k1 senior song i did during that graduation... and school is approaching and i still haven't felt that i have accomplished all that i wanted to... such is life... you plan, and overshoot... of course, it's not that i can't songwrite while in an apartment in davis, but it's harder... i like doing this hobby of mine in complete silence... i still haven't finished isaiah yet either...

on the other side, this is what i mainly got outta this summer: before you do anything for God, you need to make sure that the urging IS coming from God, because if you aren't sure, you're probably NOT doing it for God... Christianity is living out of the center of God, and checking back on him for guidance at every step of the way... become impulsive servers, and perhaps you have lost being connected to that center...

going through the spiritual disciplines has imparted this to me: grace is free, but you must work for it... or maybe i phrased that wrong, but the idea is that God graciously gives you this freedom from sin, and you spend the rest of your lives trying to mold yourself closer to the image of God... i've also come to realize that the whole point of the disciplines is to do this, of course works alone don't give you salvation; the robber next to Jesus went into heaven just due to a proper change of heart at the right time. so why do them? JOY... that's why... often we get caught up in the drudgery of Christian practices, but the thing to remember is that God wants to give us JOY, and it is found in keeping the way of God and drawing closer to him... nothing else does it, and nothing else will satisfy... what you get is an inner peace that transcends ALL understanding... sometimes i scold myself all the time for not making the practices a daily part of my lives(i don't pray and meditate as much as i would like, and certainly don't fast that frequently), but i forget that the whole point of the disciplines is JOY, and if i am getting overwhelmed, i should just learn to relax and really relish the disciplines... God doesn't expect us to meditate 24/7 or pray for that long either... he DOES hear us... remember, do these things because you love God, and then he'll give you an unrelinquishable sense of joy...

i've also come to realize that my CTCC college friends are MUCH more deeper than i've taken them to be... i've seen tim and norman both get interested in Christianity, and sam is coming back too, all of which touches me... i wish all these, and all the others best of luck during college...

Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory -Psalm 115:1
(this is also one of Chris Tomlin's worship songs)

i wanna faith like that... to see the dead rise, or to see you pass by, oh i, i wanna faith like that whatever the cost... i'll suffer the loss, oh i, i wanna faith like that -Jonah33

so long you guys... it's nice knowing you... we'll get together again someday though... til then, God bless...