For some reason, I started thinking about a number of really cool toys in the past or that are currently out, just a few days ago. Not adult toys(like guitars or electronic gizmos for your cpu), or video games, mind you; y’kno, stuff ranging from action figures to dart blasters that were just cool. I talk enough about fighting games anyways, so no video games on the list. So I came up (offline) with a list of 10 toys in no particular order that I particularily thought were cool, and have really good value even as an adult. I’m also excluding board games, because those are a TON of those, although that might make another good top 10 some other day(Othello is still my favorite board game; good combination of game speed and depth). I’m too lazy to add links, so if you want to actually see the products I’m talking about, you’re gonna have to search yourself.
1. Nerf: N-Strike Maverick
I used to be crazy about owning Nerf blasters, so I could put any particular number or item of them on here and be impressed by them(but I don’t want to turn this into a top 10 Nerfs list). However, this one takes the cake. The whole reason is simply because it actually looks like some type of badass handgun; if you’ve never seen one, imagine a revolver, except that the barrel looks a LOT larger in width. Every played in the arcade Sega’s Virtua Cop or Namco’s Time Crisis and seen what the gun you carry looks like? Or seen the Japanese anime Trigun and what gun Vash the Stampede carries around with him? That’s what the gun looks like; like a bad-assed-up revolver. You even cock it the same way, and get to fire up to 6 darts without reloading. When you do reload, you have to press a side button to make the 6-chambered thing holding the darts swing out the side… just like any revolver. And the best part of all is that this toy is still being sold in toy stores all around; it’s pretty recent. So you can get it if you want; I know that when I got mine, its coolness persuaded Jerm and Jon to get their own. I plan on eventually modifying mine by visiting any Nerf-oriented fansite; most have ideas on how to make it shoot further. (I wanted to also modify another weak blaster of mine which some claim can reach close to a football field’s length) The only downside is that it’s not a perfect repeating revolver as of late; you need to cock it in-between each shot, but then if it was, it’d probably be battery-operated, and usually kids toys are best not being battery-operated.
(We still need to rent out a huge 3 story building for one last Nerf war; I miss the good old days)
2. Larami: Super Soaker CPS 1000
Almost any super soaker was good to be honest for nostalgia’s sake(assuming Larami made them, and not Hasbro, who now owns the company); these were the standard for land-based water fights, since they were pressure-based, not battery-based, and shot water pretty far. However, if you’ve ever seen the Constant Pressure System 1000, that was the pinnacle for land-based water guns, and for Super Soaker. The thing I would say is sorta like the anti-tank rifle of all water guns. It took FOREVER to pump to full pressure(there was a guage on the side that slowly went up as you pumped, like a super meter in Street Fighter), and there were probably 4-5 full shots if you had a max-pressure shot, cleanly unloaded, then pumped again to max, but when you actually pulled and held the trigger, you got this massive stream of water that went about 50+ feet about a foot wide in diameter… for about 2 full seconds. It’s basically like the Stream Machine, but for land(I own a Stream Machine; it’s probably the best water gun… for water-based fights) I never owned one, but I’ve had a couple of water fights in Jr. High School and one of the guys I went camping with brought this with him. There were also two brothers on the swim team I used to be on which had this. To give you further ideas of how strong it was, there was a wire mesh at the end where the water was supposed to come out, supposedly to tone down the power at which the water came out… didn’t really matter I guess. Another thing was after this gun, maybe because of lawsuits or mothers complaining loudly enough, all following Super Soakers never again had the same power as this one. Sure, the ones you see now at Target during the summer have cool additions that the old super soakers don’t have, like easy hose filling and stuff. But this was the granddaddy of them all. There was no comparison. The size was humongous too and had a shoulder strap, making it even more intimidating just by view alone.
3. Kenner: Terminator 2: Exploding T-1000
A few years after Terminator 2 came out, there came all these companies trying to make money off of the movie, because hey, it was a pretty cool movie, one of the best action movies I might add. I ended up getting 3 Terminator 2 action figures from the company Kenner. However, I NEVER got this one, though it was always in stores wherever I went. I’m regretful of that now; this was clearly the best of the action figures that Kenner produced for the Terminator 2 line. Phil kept telling me to ask Mom to get this, but I never listened, and I think Phil always saw values in toys a little better than me when I was a kid. It looked like the T-1000 in the non-motorcycle police uniform, with the right side of its body liquid metal, and the left side of its body looking like the T-1000 in its regular police uniform disguise. Plus, the left arm was reformed into a huge blade. Of course, like the name suggests, there was a small trigger in the back of the figure, near the lower back. If you pressed it, the figure would explode into 4 different pieces(the figure upward of the legs was made of 3 pieces). I really dunno how you can top that as far as a Terminator 2 action figure goes.
4. Hasbro: GI Joe: General Hawk/Cobra Commander/Snake Eyes(black)/Storm Shadow(Cobra)
I think there were 3 main phases as far as toys that I liked when I was a kid; the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fad, then the GI Joe fad, and followed by the Nerf fad. I, like Phil, used to be big on GI Joe. The difference was that I didn’t take care of them like he did(he has this Storm Shadow one where it has ALL sorts of weapons, and instead of playing with it, he simply wrapped it all up in tissue paper so that it wouldn’t get damaged), I actually played with mine. The end result is many of them are not in good condition; my Snake Eyes has a gimp leg, and etc. It’s really subjective as to which ones of them were the best, because there were a LOT of GI Joe action figures that were out there, which is why I listed more than one, but I would say these were probably the best of them(I hesitate to put Duke on the list, because while the main leader on the battlefield(General Hawk is THE leader of GI Joe), he seems so commonplace nowadays, but then again, so are Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow). General Hawk is so rare(never saw it in stores when I was kid), and he’s the leader, so he goes on there by default. Ditto w/Cobra Commander. If you could’ve found the Black Snake Eyes(the old one), not the Blue Snake Eyes(which was the one I had) in the old days, I think that would’ve been a keeper, given how cool Snake Eyes was. The blue one’s still cool though; it had a TMP(to use CS terminology; at least I think it’s a TMP; small submachine pistol w/silencer), 2 katanas, and a spring-loaded grappling hook that fired(maybe I just think it’s not as cool because mine’s busted up), it’s just that he looks kinda ridiculous wearing a red ski mask and that weird gray body armor, whereas the other one looks more like an actual ninja, being in black and all. Storm Shadow is to Cobra what Snake Eyes is to GI Joe so it’s self explanatory. I actually HAD my own Storm Shadow action figure, when he was on GI Joe and not Cobra, but even then it didn’t seem as cool as the evil Storm Shadow action figure my bro had; only came with 2 weapons, and the spring-winded karate chop was kinda cheezy.
For the record, I think the ones sold today aren’t too shabby either; that is, the Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow one, but there’s two different kinds; make sure you find both and compare before buying.
Lesson I would impart; if you ever want to buy an action figure for yourself as an adult, just leave it in the packaging; don’t even open it; treat it like a collector’s item. Trust me on this one. I finally heeded that advice during the end of December when I thought it’d be cool to actually get the Street Fighter action figures at Toys R Us.
5. Transformers Optimus Prime action figure
Now we’re getting into territory that I’m less familiar with, so don’t be surprised if the following after number 4 get less say and mention. I was never into Transformers, however I did watch enough of the Fox Kids’ new version of Transformers as a late teen to witness the coolness that is the leader of the autobots. So by default.
(That’ll be it for action figures; I think all the other ones are subject to various things; while TMNT’s another good line, everybody has a different favorite turtle, so it’s hard to list the best one, and all others are dependent on whether you liked the series and stuff, such as Justice League, Thundercats, He-man, Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, etc)
6. Trampoline(honorable mention goes to Pogo Stick)
Now you’re probably laughing, thinking whether my house is full of asbestos for sticking weird toys in here after number 5. It’s true; I may be running out of ideas as I’m racking my head. But bear with me. How can you not like this? Have a bad day? Go jump on a trampoline. Frustrated? Go jump on a trampoline. Got too much energy in your system? Go jump on a trampoline. Probably the only place in your house you could legitimately jump up and down repeatedly like a sugar-high kid, have more fun than doing the same thing with a jump rope and not break something or fall off-balance and break something else in the process, as long as you watch how you’re jumping(although I usually end up seeing stuff that is AFV material when things like this occur). May not be bad-ass, but way too fun to ignore. Even if you wanted to now, I doubt you could go and jump on your bed repeatedly; the ceiling’s too low for you to let it all out. The pogo stick goes on there for an honorable mention because it’s essentially the same thing, and probably cheaper, but I’ve never owned one.
7. Rock Em Sock Em Robots
Street Fighter before it made your local Golfland; heck, this is Karate Champ before it made your local Golfland. Try to punch your opponent’s block off; your opponent tries to do the same. How can you not like that? I was reminded of this awesome toy when watching some Justice League Unlimited episodes and seeing the Flash play with somebody else in the Justice League Watchtower over something that looked like this(“Yo Flash, do you think the rest of the League thinks we’re too childish?” “No way man” * zooms out to show the two playing this game * “Yes, I win!” “No fair! Your guy has a longer reach!”).
8. Boomerang
Most people I know have never played with this toy. If you have one, and know(I stress, KNOW) how to use one, it’s a blast; it’s like playing catch with yourself. I have one. Problem is, I could never get it to work right; actually as a kid I usually got it to work right to make it come back; it’s just that I was afraid to catch it as it was coming back at me(imagine me as a kid winding back and throwing this on my driveway, then my eyes getting wide and backpedaling really fast half-trying to avoid it, half-trying to catch it as the thing’s coming back at me). I plan on getting a new one soon enough, the company that makes those weird light neon rings as Frisbees(those are cool too) makes a boomerang that looks like an outer tracing of a triangle.
9. Winchester rifle/AK-47
This one’s actually two different products. I think both of which were cool. However, they’re essentially the same thing; replica guns that make replica gun sounds. When I saw a toy version of the Winchester rifle at K-Mart in Cupertino(it’s now a Home Depot), they used to sell this toy when I was a kid. No batteries required or caps required. You cocked it using the lever on the side, much like a regular Winchester rifle. When you pulled the trigger, you got a sound that sounded very much like the actual Winchester rifle(the best I can describe it is like a “PA-CHUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…). I think Counter-strike fans that loved using the AWP sniper rifle, would’ve gotten a kick outta owning this.
The AK-47 I saw once at a toy store in Gilroy shopping center. Pulled the trigger, you’d get a 3-shot burst like sound. I just thought as far as replica gun toys making gun sounds, these were very cool, and they required nothing else; no batteries, no exploding caps. Never got either when I was kid, and both aren’t sold anymore in stores.
(I’m really out of ideas, so number 10’s sorta weird)
10. Record player(was called a phonograph)
Lemme know if you can actually think of something that was MEANT as a kid’s toy for number 10 that was cool; til then, this is my entry; hey; sometimes when you were a kid, the best toys were the things you abused, no lie.
For those of you who were old enough to either own a phonograph or have parents own a phonograph, as opposed to a CD player, there was way too much fun you could have with these shenanigans while 10 inches of vinyl was rotating(much to the risk of actually ruining the record permanently you were playing, but you were a kid, you weren’t worried about things like that happening). You could turn it off while it was still midway in playing a record, and the sound would SLOOOWLY grind to a halt, which usually got giggles out of me. You could jump up and down while it was playing, seeing if you could jump the needle to another place on the record all the while causing scratching sounds to come out. I loved turning the rotating contraption off, but not the amplifer, and then spinning the record backward quickly and giggling at the sounds that came out. And then, if the record was busted, usually what would happen was when the needle got to the place which was busted, it would just keep repeating that area over and over, and over(I fondly remember the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” record would always get to the part where Indiana Jones picked up the relic and then the announcer would be stuck saying “the walls began to shake… began to shake… began to shake… began to shake…” ad infinitum, usually stopped when Phil would go over and jump up and down violently near the record player, causing it to jump)
I make it sound like I ruined all the vinyl records my family had on this, and that’s not true; my mom and dad probably would NEVER let me abuse the records that long, or at all. However, there were very rare periods of time when they were not in the family room, my inner child would emerge, and the above would happen, and those times usually got laughs out of me. Good times.
(If you want to recreate this feeling, go download Ots CD Scratch[a free turntable software], pop in a music CD, take the virtual needle and just run it SIDEWAYS across the virtual record; don’t tell me you won’t laugh at the sound; you’ll never be able to ruin the CD you’re playing this way, nor be able to change its position by jumping up and down next to your cpu, though, although I suppose that’s a good thing)
FYI, the phonograph we had was not only a phonograph; it was also an AM/FM radio player and a cassette player. Incidentally, my brother beat me to breaking the tape player part because he stuffed coins down the tape opening when HE was a kid. Heh heh.
Ok, that’s my list. To be honest, there’s probably some toys that I missed that were just cool, and I’m sketchy on number 10, as I was running out of really good ideas, but I’m only one guy, so please comment away, or write your own list; I would love to see what toys I didn’t list(or in the case of number 10, things that could’ve been abused as amusing toys).
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