so i've fallen...

but a fall is a fall... and you get up from falls...

and i've got to believe that even if i've mucked up, that i will have the heart and desire not to FINALLY repeat my mistakes all over again...

sometimes it seems like your heart will only become this much resolved after taking a HARD fall...

we shall see... whether i took a hard fall... and then... whether i can rise...

probably my next song subject's gonna be about cutting stuff away... how i can never frikking cut all the sins outta my life... but i'm still not finished with my other song, so i gotta do that... during break... i will think about the lyrics of the new song though...

things i admire about my dad, and now wish i had, now that he's gone:
-patience
-diligence in hard work
-LOVE for his hard work(guess how he got good grades in school? reading ahead... man, i wish i wasn't hooked on video games)
-love for others, despite what they're done to him(case in point, how he treated my mom)
-love for god(enough that he'd get up EARLY to record the am radio's sermon on tape on sunday)
-furthermore, i just didn't get to know him enough... my irritation over my pet peeves and short temper probably ruined the relationship on my part... i hate myself...