i'm liking what i'm hearing from the samples of kj-52's latest album, "pronounced five-two"... man, all these christian cds i'm coveting all of a sudden... waiting for the summer releases of sanctus real, 12 stones, maybe pillar, and now kj-52...

"the hour of the star" is such a weird book... a fiction about a narrator writing about a story about a poor girl, who is just weird and doesn't get it, but is so happy... it's about time i saw that a person wrote a book about a poor person STAYING poor... i think the author tries to make you feel all sorts of things inside from this book; frustration at the poor girl for not getting why she's a loner, but sympathetic because, her background led up to this... ring any bells? (bob, remember the celebration of discipline reference?)

had a little internal clash in my head when i was trying to get up or decide to stay down in my bed(i already missed the bus, if i wanted to get up to run to school, i'd still be late)... no, i wasn't muttering out loud...
optimist side: cmon, get up
pessimist side: what's the use? i'm gonna miss most of class
optimist side: any part of class lecture is still good for you
pessimist side: why? i feel like i've done so many stupid mistakes so far in college; why the hell should i go on at all?
optimist side: that's why god forgave you
pessimist side: i know i'm just gonna sin again; waste my oppurtunities; god's giving me second chances, only to see me blow them away
optimist side: god only gives second chances to people who are willing to try, now GET THE HELL UP!
(that did it and got me up)

so as i was trying to quickly walk to school, i mulled over what my optimist side had said... the very last thing... about god only giving second chances to people who are willing to try... isn't that the truth? thanks for the lesson god, and DON'T LET ME EVER FORGET IT