after reading bob's writing for today, i realize many of us have online diaries by now; the reasons are of course various; some, only cause it's the only way to comment on other ppl's online diaries... most of my friends are like that... maybe cause all your friends are doing it... there's a lot more youth doing xanga, and not blogger, because all their friends are online and have a site for themselves... maybe you're hoping someone out there will pick up the stuff you have put in, and with a grain of salt, come away enlightened... some dedicate their stuff to other things(like the american soldier)... and of course, the list goes on and on...

why do i write in an online journal, much less a public one, so that everyone can see my stuff? i dunno; i'm fairly honest about what i write down(although i will admit there's some things that go on in the back of my head that i never put down, out of fear of other ppl, such as girl fettishes, and the like), but i wasn't looking for fame(in fact, many of my friends never read my entries, because even though i throw out what i consider to be deep thoughts, they're extremely long; i got a taste of my own medicine when i tried to read mandy's xanga site when she was still into that... nothing but words without breaking topics with the return key, not to mention it was written in the atypical teenage girl talk(ie heehee, oh yeah, and the like)... in the beginning, my place was just another place i wanted so that i could put down my thoughts; adding thoughts to your own webpage if it isn't in a journal format is a lot more tedious... also, because the space given you on a journal is indefinite, it's a much better place for throwing your thoughts online than on an AIM profile, where you get a limit(and all you have to do is add a link to your profile)...

but really, why have i kept it up for such a long time, and often, i end up writing longer and more frequently than anyone i know who has a diary? a lot of my friends have quit their sites after a while... only the young adults i know have kept this up... i guess... it's not the fame; many ppl don't even READ my site... so i could write about raping ppl and blowing black people's heads off with a shotgun, and only a select few would even bother to tell me about my faults... the reason is that it's more for myself. you'd be surprised just how treasuring it can be to one day go back and read what you wrote and rethink about everything... the diary is in aspects the loner's best friend because when you've got no girl to pour out every single thought to, you can always turn to this. and that's why i write here; for my own benefit. it's tough to sift through what you wrote when you come back, but you'll know everything was in here. from iverson, to tekken 3, to sanctus real, to the effects pedals you wanna get, to jeremiah's struggles against what he wanted and what God wanted, to just trying to stay alive in davis, it's all here, and if you wanna read it, go ahead; if you don't, i'll be fine with that.

never stop the online journal.

(on a sidenote, i will be home for the weekends; is the superbowl coming up this 3-day weekend?)