sometimes the human reaction to unfortunate circumstances leads us to just act incredibly weird; we dispise our circumstances, then we begin to hate ourselves, hate God, hate whatever we can think of for the upbringing of our current circumstances, other people... anything that we somehow think is connected to our circumstances... what we all gotta do is just stop, admit your faults, and come back to God, trusting him, then just forget your frustrations and worries, and then thank God...

confronting your fears is perhaps the only way you're ever gonna have release from any anxiety which stems from it...

ok... nehemiah's done, onto esther...

praise night was fun... it was small, there were some people whom i wished should've went, but didn't(wrong priorities, maybe?), but in the end, it did what all praise/prayer nights should've done; set aside a night for intercessory prayer and praise... some of the songs were slow, but i had no big deal with it; when YOU'RE the one leading, nothing's boring(mainly cause i got to pick and fool around with ways to play each song)... although i LOVED the way we transitioned from the 2nd to last song to the last song...

the missionary which spoke on sunday was very intriguing... what i found interesting was how different groups HAVE different views of things... if someone had offered to pay for all the expenses i would need to pay for sending someone to mission school, i would be estatic... but he made a point how the others didn't, simply because they found it was a way they could connect; sacrifice for them meant happiness; which is weird, cause often we're taught that it's not a good thing. he also had a LOT of funky stuff he got... i wouldn't want to get stung by those ants, or get shot by a 7-ft long arrow w/poison on the end... his sermon-message was that if God is really ours, how come we keep straddling the line? or as paul put it, why are we lukewarm? God isn't calling us to be lukewarm and just dump cotton on his foundation; give your best, and lay the best of your life upon it, or don't bother at it; you would've been better off not knowing God and not giving anything at all than being a lukewarm christian and just giving SOME of your all.

i remember hearing these lyrics yesterday on AIR1(still haven't figured out who wrote it, going by the air1 charts):
"don't you know that we are listening for whispers, when we cannot hear the screams/the sun is blinding us and still we look for matches"