i'm starting to wonder if the thing really is true... that the king james bible may be the only true version of the bible in the english language...

my curiousity was sparked when joe wrote off ppl who think that the bible has one type of book to rely upon, and in reply i stated that i kinda agreed; as long as the truth isn't distorted, i'm ok with it...

lately, the truth has been anything but...

there's been a lotta stuff i've found lately that shows other versions of the bible to distort the truth... one example being the exclusion of acts 8:37; NIV puts it in the footnotes, but still... the lord's prayer is different too; try the luke version in KJV, then compare it to NIV... you'll see some stuff that's missing...

and also, in the KJV, the mark of the beast makes the mark implanted "in" the person... growing technology has also suggested that the mark would be like a chip of some sort, implanted in either the right hand or the forehead... where the body transmits the most heat... someplace where a lithium battery can recharge the most... other versions use the word "on," misleading ppl to think the devil will only put a tattoo on us... but look, even tattoos are placed IN us, since you need to inject ink IN...

they also write the number of the devil exactly, (666), but the KJV only says that it is 6 threescore and 6...

i'll write more on this, but for now i gotta sleep... if this really is true, i need to make a trip to bureans before i take off back to college...

like instrumentals? try this:

dave beegle- joy

man, i should look for guitar instrumentals more... there's something beautiful about hearing music that has no vocals but just showcases good skill with musical instruments...

CNN news article on assasination attempt on chen

i haven't been keeping up w/the whole taiwan fiasco due to my studies, but now that i have exactly 5 days to chillax, i've found the link above...

not to point fingers too early, but i would guess the would-be assassin is either one of the mainland chinese, the us, or a disgruntled taiwanese person approached by china/us...

the truth is, the us keeps trying to interfere with other countries from behind the curtain... i would not be surprised if they do it again here, which is ironic, because we used to support taiwan...

however the us you see today is nothing but a buncha soft-ass people... people who are afraid all of a sudden of angering anybody at all... oh no, china's getting upset! we can't allow that... not because we are TRUE friends with them... but because they can go postal on us and nuke us all to hell! or because we earn too much money with them, trading our ass off! oh no!

so we try to solve everything behind the curtain... not get our public figure tarnished... do things so others can't see it...

and it's because chen caters to taiwan's interests... because he wants taiwan to be recognized as something that is not in china's shadow...

prayers... would be great...

cuz i dunno who's winning this tug of war/ but it "better be you" - koo chung

norcal taiwanese reppin to the fullest yo...

it's too bad mel gibson will never win a grammy/oscar/whatever the hell they call it for "the passion for the christ..." ebert and roeper gave it two thumbs up... we have grown too pc... when if they were to think about it, jesus was a jew himself... the message of "jesus DIED" is that good, that we ignore it(see what i wrote at the top)

if you've never delved into the thinking of jessica simpson, now would be a good time!

Whadda idiot

Also here

i've finally done it...

i've gotten rid of ALL my cpu games on my cpu(well, let's say the exception was CS and TFC, but i don't even play those that often anymore, it's more due to the fact that it'd take forever to reinstall, and like i've said, i don't really play those anymore)... even the freecell/solitaire/spider solitaire stuff...

why?

to feel the release...

to not tie myself down again...

to not be hung over video games again...

so i'm one step closer to God...

you wouldn't believe the time i waste on cpu games... i NEEDED to do this...

no, it doesn't solve everything... but it's a huge load off my chest, and it's about time i did so...

i may redownload all those games again someday, but only if i can burn them so they're not sitting pretty on my desktop, tempting me...

wonder how many 2nd-gen azn-americans are regretting that they waste their chances at their respective colleges... after all, our ancestors sacrificed a damn lot to get here and give us the best chances at making a good-paying job... and we blow it doing what... i'd seriously like to get some of that energy that they have... because it seems ALL of us could use that boost...

i'd like to see a statistic of how many azn's in their respective countries were buddhist and how many azn-americans, 1st and 2nd, are christian... i'd like to also see how many are casual and devout for each... it just seems that either our ancestors just transitioned like that, or never were buddhist to begin with. cause there's a LOT of azn american christians when you come to think about it... heck, that's why there's ABSK and AACF in college... i can't remember the last time there was a christian org for indians and stuff... (maybe i just answered my own question; our ancestors weren't into the buddha stuff to begin with)

want proof positive that mavs suck on defense? an ai-less sixers whupped on them...

America is finger lickin' good! :D

i wonder if God takes delight in making it seem 78 so i go to school in my cutoffs, then suddenly cut it to about 58 so my nipples feel hardened and i have to constantly suck in my breath to keep myself from feeling too cold... hah i bet he does...

you gotta love this question and answer when grassroots conducted an interview w/jeremy camp:

KB: I read that country music is the one type of music that you don't listen to. How come? What do you have against country?

JC: [Laughs.] Yeah. Um, I take that back... it was more of an emotional thing. I respect country music because it's music. I just can't handle the twang. Like that Toby Keith guy; I'm not going to name names but ....it's just really cheesy stuff sometimes. My wife left me and I'm drinking my beer... But then again there are country songs that are good songs too. I just don't like the twang.

yeap... the twang... don't we all country-haters... the twang... haha... come to think about it... if all acoustic popular songs were twang'd up, they'd be country... heh... if someone comes out w/a software that can "twang" songs, i'd consider signing up :D just for kicks... twang 4.0... now you can hick-ize all your favorite songs!

empty me(who wrote this one, anyways? did jeremy camp REALLY write this? i couldn't find out who else did)

holy fire burn away
my desire for anything
that is not of you, and is of me
i want more of you
and less of me

empty me, empty me
fill me, with you, with you

haha... if i told you that boondocks and foxtrot are the most kickass comics, would you believe me?

boondocks: president bush addresses the problems of the nations

foxtrot: this is what cheap-broke geeks do

i wonder if jerm's seen this article:

milk may help reduce weight in kids

of course, all these reports are sometimes preposterous(there's too many variables to analyze at one time)... but it could explain why i'm skinnier than my bro... and taller... i wonder how much exactly height gain is related to milk... given what i am now, i just wanna break 6 ft...

haha... tell that to all the short youth girls back @canaan... keep not drinking milk, and you'll end up overweight...

heh, if they threw me into one of those studies, it could throw the whole thing off; they'd find that...

-eating little, but drinking lots of milk
-swimming on a swim team about 1 hr 4 yrs, then 2 hrs after that for about 2 yrs every weekday
-running everywhere to get where you're going(as long as it's practical), or jogging, brisk walking if trying not to get tired
-depriving yourself of sleep to cram for tests, then most other times oversleeping
-eating a LOT in high school senior - college years

will keep your weight down, your height up, and weirdly, metabolism from skyrocketing til you're age 30 :D then, YOU'RE GONNA DIE

college finals, round 3, fight!

db+4(ch),3-> uf+3-> d+4,1-> df+3,1,2,f+1+2

EWGF-> b,f+2>1,2-> f,f+2

if only finishing off a final were as easy as doing the two above kickass tk3 combos(actually the 1st... my jin sucks)... actually got a "oh nice" from the guy i played against today doing the 1st combo...

haha... it's kinda funny... it seems everytime you play at the arcade and someone gets a hit into a combo, the player with the victim's like nodding... haha... maybe i'm not that into it, since the tk3 machine is devoid of comp... i should nod next time i get floated...

i give up... i can't find any vids of ttt jin by jang iksu...

must... not... dl... tekken 2... before... bio final... ends...

(i wonder how hard a food science minor could be... i AM interested, sparked by the whole class this quarter...)

someone tell linkin park they sang their own song wrong at texas... i thought the song was "faint," not "fail"... so why does chester sing "i can't fail..." when on the cd he goes "i can't faint..." wutever... don't matter... the song's still tops for my LP songs...

davis spring = cupertino summer... man, is it killer today! i'm wearing cutoffs outside from now on... or nothing at all to get a tan...

yes... go warriors...

haha... mj was on "best damn sports show period..." they showed this pic where john sally saw mj go right, and couldn't block him, so instead he took his right hand and covered mj's eyes, effectively blinding him... haha... i wish i could find that pic online... it cracked me up...

imagine what mightve happened if magic did not trade ben wallace away for grant hill and duncan decided to go w/shaq's advice and move to magic...
(that would've been, in the words of sam, tmac and ben wallace would be like the kobe and shaq of the east; they would complement each other on offense and defense)

in order to create gum, all types of materials have to be melted together... stuff that normally would not bind together... only at high temperatures can the gum ingredients be molded together... since you're dealing with sugar, plastic derivatives, and the like... inedible and edible stuff... once reformed, it's impossible to push them apart...

furthermore, gum is such that it's like a pawn... once it's taken out of the wrapper and chewed, and all its flavor is lost, most people don't consider it to have any use anymore... it is spit out, and left to rot(if it's even possible) on its own, either in a wrapper or stuck on some sidewalk... one-time use, then ignored by all... once you've served your purpose in society, it pushes you aside and doesn't care anymore... once you lose your luster...

the only way for gum to be useful again is for it to be reborn... the same high heat that gave birth to it is necessary to apply to it to take it apart... then reform it... you can only crack hard-formed habits by being reborn...

such is the christian life...

mark madsen's a mormon:

here

those of you on AIM; like my new buddy icon? made it myself! like the previous one... notice the wwjd bracelet on my right hand...(yes i wear justin's wwjd bracelet... not a green wristband like punk rockers do)

so i've fallen...

but a fall is a fall... and you get up from falls...

and i've got to believe that even if i've mucked up, that i will have the heart and desire not to FINALLY repeat my mistakes all over again...

sometimes it seems like your heart will only become this much resolved after taking a HARD fall...

we shall see... whether i took a hard fall... and then... whether i can rise...

probably my next song subject's gonna be about cutting stuff away... how i can never frikking cut all the sins outta my life... but i'm still not finished with my other song, so i gotta do that... during break... i will think about the lyrics of the new song though...

things i admire about my dad, and now wish i had, now that he's gone:
-patience
-diligence in hard work
-LOVE for his hard work(guess how he got good grades in school? reading ahead... man, i wish i wasn't hooked on video games)
-love for others, despite what they're done to him(case in point, how he treated my mom)
-love for god(enough that he'd get up EARLY to record the am radio's sermon on tape on sunday)
-furthermore, i just didn't get to know him enough... my irritation over my pet peeves and short temper probably ruined the relationship on my part... i hate myself...

new from the j-lo and christina aguilera collection!



nothing says "i'm gonna act like a wh0re" like this beautiful sport jacket! now in persuasively purple!

how's this for korean politics...



looks like the kookstas are getting their groove on... tha's right, homies, raise the roof!

life(esp college) is just like basketball; the right gameplan is necessary to win... but it's not everything; the major component is HEART... the ability to will yourself to stay in it no matter what... and jeez, i wish i had more of that...

my priorities in life are like a huge, branching tree...
i have to keep pruning... and pruning... never stopping...
because while i love so many things...
i have to narrow them down so that i have only one branch to cling to...
to build myself from...
to define myself by...
you know what i'm talking about...
i just hope i have what it takes to follow through...

found this while snooping around on the DKC web ring(imagine that...):

Why Men Are Happier Than Women

1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

i wonder how in college, how many christian guys seek to be single compared to how many christian girls seek to be single? i've been wondering this since it seems to me that the christian girls tend to want to seek a relationship more than the guys... just a guess though... and no, i don't have evidence of this... i'm going off on this based upon how it seems like the girl needs someone to talk to and stuff... guys sometimes need this too, but i've never seen a girl who lives a life of shyness... then again, those of those live w/other girls(not in a homosexual way)...

of course, it's always the guy who initiates the relationship though... USUALLY... but you wonder... the arguments could go both ways though... i've seen guys who constantly have to hang around a group of girls... interestingly enough, all these types of guys i know from msm come from socal :D... again, don't ask me for evidence...

everytime i wonder why i have to work harder than some of my other friends, i should remember this:

That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Luke 12:47-48

shoot man... totally forgot sam's bday was on the 10th... i should write all these bday dates down somewhere so i don't forget...

i wonder what's my weirdest eating habit... eating cereal and milk separate because i don't want my cereal to get soggy's up there... i don't mind eating whole grain bread, because compared to the bread i was brought up to eat(some safeway bread that contained so many nuts the bread felt like some hardened piece of crap), wheat bread is like white bread to me... i don't have many eating dislikes(some things i like over others, but usually if you set something before me, i'll eat it, food is food)... i'm pretty much ok w/everything... and because i tend not to talk when i eat, when i'm on an empty stomach i can eat very fast... i remember once nearly inhaling an ice cream sundae when i was full at ribcrib, and jerm had got the same thing and we started at the same time... both of us were full... the difference was that after a while when ppl were looking away, i inhaled mine... and jerm's was still there, nearly full...

do you realize i just woke up in the middle of the night? now i gotta go back to sleep!

i loathe my sinful self...

i am opting to ON PURPOSEFULLY pull an all-nighter tonight, even though my midterm's on friday; the way i see it, i'm going to have to pull an all-nighter either today or tomorrow, and i figure seeing how i have only 1 class tomorrow, that it's just better to shoot for tonight... i'll let you guys know how beautiful the sun rise is later :D

go wish laura a happy bday... i always remember her bday cause it falls on 3.11... that's cause three-eleven used to be a secular rock group i used to listen to... now they're just crap... like the mainstream rock industry...

not a good day to love the same bball teams as me:

lakers > celtics, blazers > twolves, jazz > warriors,

although on the plus side,

pistons > bulls, spurs > clippers, magic > wizards, cavs > raptors...

but the big three of mine... sucks... to see them go down like that today...

laura: i have to go to sleep at 1
laura: it's a lent thing
me: i see
laura: so i hope i can get up at 2am
me: not a laura thing, just a lent thing :-)
laura: or 2:30 to start studying
laura: yeah so not a laura thing
me: haha

i can't stand ppl who talk w/their cell phone public sometimes, but the one which really drives you up the wall:

don't you hate it when some ppl talk on the cell phone in public so loud and in an annoying voice that you wanna just take their cell phone and throw it through a window? made even worse if that person looks like a dorky white girl who talks with that stereotypical teen girl voice(the one which goes "oh my gawd..." etc?)

so basically i had to endure under my patience that very girl who was probably talking to her college friend, but in another college... and she goes ON and ON and ON and ON in a loud voice all the way back to my apt... ppl didn't say anything, but you could tell the ppl around me were also getting their patience worn thin...

when we finally all got out(the girl lives in the same apt complex)... and when i was walking away, this tall azn guy next to me whispers to me when she is out of earshot...

"i wanna slap that bitch..."

O_O ... that had me cracking up like crazy... well, somebody had to say it... not exactly what we thought word for word, but we had the general dislike of her...

me: my thoughts exactly...
azn: i can still hear her after i go into my apt...

man... that was funny...

you wonder if ppl like these ever think that maybe, MAYBE it gets on other ppl's nerves to have to listen to your conversation? there should be a law that if your voice on a cell phone gets above X db for Y minutes within a Z ft radius near other ppl that the surrounding ppl have the jurisdiction to take your cell phone and stomp upon it or smack you upside the head...

spring is here! it's pretty obvious, given when i walked outside of the mu at noon today i was totally blinded by the light... to be honest, i love all seasons(i seriously can't get why some ppl hate the rain, or sometimes the wind; they may be annoying sometimes, but it's nature... you criticizing God's work?)... although some seasons i love more than others... it's human nature... i tend to like spring the most... however, i think every one season has its charm...

other than that... i hope i use time wisely these upcoming weeks... too much depends upon them...

ok, gotta fix some grub for meself...

(celtics > twolves yesterday! w00t! although warriors lost again)

forgetting all i'm lacking/ completely incomplete/ i take your invitation/ you take all of me

just found out my davis church has a xanga ring... well, guess they're more internet-oriented than originally thought... will bookmark later...

i'll have to print these out sometime later

Amberlin response to NY Times Article

NY Times Article

whew... KMart on this week's highlight countdown... GRABS a layup by Wade...

speaking of which... MJ on Mercer about 3 yrs ago... that was crazy...

1.rasho was a monster today against the mavs... even blocked a dunk from jamaison by pinning the ball against the backboard with one hand... almost had a double double... consider this: duncan didn't play
2.horry swatting away the nash layup attempt
-warriors lose a CLOOOOOOOOSE one to the kidd-less nets! how close? they had around 3 tries to tie it back up... mike missed his trey, jrich missed his... they force the 24 clock and get the ball back... but jrich bumbles the inbound pass and they turn it back over... man... this sucks so much... and they were leading the ENTIRE GAME... jrich and dunleavy were rolling with the jumpers too...

if the 12 stones clip i found didn't sound so blocky, i think i'd keep "the way i feel" up longer... or "let go" but that one's also clipped, so i gotta be happy w/what i've got... i figure i'll just rotate some artists here and there every week or two...

my right ring is hurting... and my left leg is stiff...

tell me if i'm smoking crack... but doesn't cliff robinson look slightly like snoop dogg?

i'm so tired...

*yawn*... things better be better this weekend... ie time management... i HAVE to stay up late tonight... prob maybe even wh0re the whole night to write up a paper... if i'm lucky, get 3 hrs of sleep, then wake up, revise my paper... again, hopefully i will pull no more all-nighters... but tonight's inevitable... hopefully the saturday and sunday i will not waste my time away...

just a haiku i came up on the spot to express how i feel(not good w/unorthodox poems; freeverse is obviously my forte):
bloodshot eyes
sick of the game i now play
I AM, yours

k, time to work...

some fun abandonware games i've been finding lately:

-life or death... you actually to pretend you're a gastro-surgeon(is that even a correct medical term? i just don't wanna say "stomach doctor")... you go around a gastro-oriented medical branch of a hospital making diagnosis for patients... very fun... my correct diagnosis ratio the 1st time i played was under 30%... over half of those died from burst appendixes or overbleeding during surgery... or me injecting something that stopped their heart :D... as for now, i can correctly diagnose what to do... but i still can't operate correctly to save my life... maybe it's cause i can't tell what the hell the forceps look like in the game... grainy graphics... nevertheless, damn fun game...

-highway pursuit... this game roXors... it's like spy pursuit, but remade... essentially you drive around on a highway, using your sports car(it has a mounted machine gun, can add oil slick or smoke screen or fire SAMs) to ram and shoot up any enemies in other cars... very, very, very fun... good break-taker game... that is, if you don't turn your break into 3 hours :D some classics never die... like this one... it's actually freeware, not abandonware... cause it's a remake...

-test drive... ol skool... me and phil used to whore this game... this was way before the days of need for speed... my fave was the porsche 911 turbo... cause of its quick ass acceleration at the start... too bad the test drive 2 game online doesn't seem to work... test drive 3's also online, but i can't seem to slow it down properly... in any case, stunts is also a good racing game...

and if you're into othello, the freeware wzebra's hella good... the cpu is hella souped up... no 2-player, but this cpu is pretty much unbeatable... you obviously get frustrated cause of this, but your game will improve so damn much... up there as one of the better othello dls... btw you can customize difficulty, so it doesn't have to be hard...

truly, truly wished ppl like louis-ferdinand celine didn't write novels the way he does; thick, 400+ pg, 220+ words on each page novels, because when stuff like this becomes the material that you have to base upon for writing a paper due in two days, you begin to blame everyone, everything for the suffering you go through, except yourself, for slacking off, for not pulling yourself together and reading the crap WHEN you were supposed to read it because you had to cram for a science midterm during the week span that you were supposed to read it... i hate myself... hate how the quarter system crams all this info into a measly few weeks and uses that to judge ppl...

it's not really about being a day or night person... more or less if you want ppl to shut up, or whether you want to hear ppl talk at you... oh yea, that and whether you prefer shut-eye or lattes... except i don't waste money on lattes... which is why, again, i hate myself...

does it sound like i'm doing a bit of hating early in the morning? maybe my head'll clear up later in the day... that is, if i don't fall asleep again... or hopefully, this weekend... provided i actually stick to doing work, not building thumb callouses...

to become anew once again, i must start by tearing down everything i was built upon... i was built upon shaky foundations, so i must tear down until nothing is left, only then can i start to recreate myself upon a rock-solid set of principles and faith...

there was this evangelical christian who was trying to minister to those walking by the ucd bookstore today... it was funny one of the comparisons he used... it wasn't too good of a comparison...

"going to church doesn't make you any more a christian than going to mcdonald's makes you a hamburger..."

(really? i'm a born-again double-double... how dare you question my all-beef patties)

it's official... ppl who vote at sprite nba countdown don't know a good play when they see one... stupid shaq dickriders... dwayne wade crossover i can understand... but the bounce pass alley oop got no respect, and ditto w/the feed from kidd to rj...

PASSION OF THE CHRIST REVIEW:

hmm, there's a lot to say... first of all, i'd like to say, i truly enjoyed the movie... mel gibson is a very talented director... combine that with his strong religious faith, and this is what occurs... the movie is also very well crafted... let's start w/the bad sides... (i'll try not to spoil the movie too much, but if you want the ending, just read the ends of the gospels :D)

some scenes/stuff could have been done without... me and jon sorta agreed with this, like:
-jesus w/the table and mary his mother scene... humorous, wasn't UNNECESSARY, but could have been without... i think gibson was just fooling around here :D
-the raven at the cross... you'll understand when you see it
-the person playing the devil was nice, but at the same time, the very last scene was unnecessary... TOTALLY unnecessary...(i find it funny how all the secular ppl analyzing the movie thought it was too violent, but didn't say anything about this scene being unnecessary) also, you might not have gotten what was going on when it looked like the devil was carrying a demented child... i had an idea, jon was wtf on that one
-the high priest should have been slightly more hesitant; he knew that jesus was the messiah... he is depicted as totally callous until the very end when the temple is torn in two
-who is that girl who offers him a drink but is pushed away? it's not mary... not his mother either... me and jon couldn't figure out who...
-and there's a slight inconsistency when they hammer the nails into his palm, not his wrist...

-----------------------------------

ok, that said, this is an excellant movie... however, i will say this: it is NOT recommended for the person who is not a christian and doesn't have a good understanding of the bible; i say this because after seeing the movie, i now understand why so many secular ppl write this movie off... it COMPLEMENTS the gospel, but doesn't provide the entire picture... that's why you hear ppl either say:

-the movie is too violent(they don't see how the hatred of the crowd makes jesus' love for them and unwillingness to fight them even more appearant)
-or, the fear that anti-jewish feelings will occur(ppl might think that jews had to be the most thick-headed ignorant ppl to allow this tragedy to occur and get pissed, but so far, that hasnt occurred, god bless)...

also, there are often cutscenes that go away from the main crucifixation scene... this is good in movie directing, because it you keep exposing the audience to blood and gore they get numb to it... stick in a few cheerful scenes, and it makes the blood and gore seem fresh and still exciting... but some of those cutscenes are impossible to pick up if you're not a christian... for instance, the way they depicted the time when jesus forgave mary for being a prostitute was very short, too short for a nonbeliever to get, but long enough that a christian would be "bam, i know what's happening" (i especially liked the camera angle which they did this scene... makes jesus look that much more powerful, and the others that much more weak)

-----------------------------------

that said, throughout the whole movie, i was just seeing every prophecy refulfilled in front of my eyes and going bam with the exact verses that came up... "my bones are out of joint... they will look on the one they have pierced... etc..."

it was awesome how throughout the movie jesus keeps looking to his father for strength... probably my fave quote of them all was when he was about to be whipped, and looked up, saying, "father, my heart is ready..." i wish i had that type of heart...

i did not cry(:D) during the movie, but my throat occasionally got really stiff, and i think it was when one of the ppl crucified next to jesus stated that he deserved to be condemned, but pleaded that jesus remember him, and that jesus said that he would be next to him in paradise, that my throat got pretty stiff... also, when they pulled his bones out of joint, i had a similar feeling...

-----------------------------------

so what did i think mel was trying to depict with this movie? that jesus came to DIE... many ppl don't really realize that jesus came to die in the most horrific death possible... this movie, in my own words, says JESUS DIED with a huge exclaimation point near the end... it makes you realize how terrible the suffering jesus had to go through, how it was so terrible that jesus is stressing so hard as he was praying before he was captured, debating whether to run or stay(further complicated by the devil tempting him by saying "no one can carry this burden... too heavy... no")... often, even us christians know about the crucifixation, those of us who do our hw can even explain scientifically how gruesome and how it occurs, but i bet none of us truly can take it if we see it full color in front of our eyes with jesus suffering so hard(he mustve fainted like 6+ times going up to the hill)... this movie is good to nail that point(no pun intended) into our heads... secular ppl won't get it, they think this movie is too gruesome... they don't understand what mel was trying to do...

secondly, the other main important aspect is that love kept Jesus from saving himself... this IS a film of love, not hatred(contrary to what the other critics say)... power is demonstrated in what we do do, as well as what we don't do... jesus could have EASILY turned against the crowd, walked through them, performed miracles to save himself... but he chose not to, although the taunting and the pain must have been insanely difficult for him to take... in this way his heart and strength are elevated beyond anything you can think of... in most of the film, he remains fairly silent even as he is being taunted, spit upon, whatever...

and yet, even as christians watching the movie, we knew that if we were there right beside him, we would be so scared, we would run... like peter, or be hesitant like all the others... we would not be able to stand by him... not of us would... humanity is at its worst, but christ is at his very best...

i hope that the reader of these words, whoever that may be, if you go see this film, that it strengthens your faith, or if you're a nonbeliever, forces you to again seriously question who jesus of nazareth really is... that's all from me on this point... saying even more would more or less be overemphasizing previous points... til then, god bless

since bob is a lotr fan, i thought this foxtrot comic was funny:
click here

like how my site now has sound? :D how'd ya like that, you xangans? you're not the only ones now! (unfortunately, i wanted to put up 12 stones- let go instead, but the version up at the site is tainted)

i promised a review and i'm writing that in the next post

just watched passion of the christ; man, i was blown away... because it's late sat morning, i will write a review when i wake up...

(i planned on going to sleep earlier anyways... btw, i figured out a really neat way of helping myself go to sleep... reminding myself... and not staying up too late playing games... i've used the task scheduler program of win xp to open a file i've called GoToSleepMessage.txt, which states in HUGE BLOCK LETTERS, GO TO SLEEP... i have it do this every 10 min starting from 11:20 all the way to about 4:00 AM... very hard to ignore... and it helps a lot IMO)

i must learn to write more legibly more quickly... i just got msm's church directory, and my info is wrong... probably cause i was writing too fast...

that said, here is something else on a lighter note: i remet one of my small group buddies... playing tekken 3... i was playing jin, and someone joins in alongside me... chooses true ogre, and about 3 rounds later i lose, but it was close, was like 2/3 i think( i think i got 1 round win, or at least pulled it close the 2nd round)... we then turn and eye each other, and suddenly he goes, "richard?" :D so that was fun... we played a few more, then parted ways afterwards... i also managed to whup an incoming guy playing law, cause after we played a few more rounds, some ppl started coming along and playing w/us as well... man, i love tekken 3, but i suck so much... because i know how you're supposed to play(poke, not mash, to set up your big damage moves), but my execution is crap(i can't consistently do a dragon punch motion, and other times, other stuff doesn't come out like it should)... it was fun though... i loved punt kicking his true ogre some like 5x along the ground before he got up simply cause true ogre's so fat... and i LOVE the mishima 1,1,2... hei, jin, nina are all fun... but a +/- side to tekken is that damage is reeked out SO FAST... this is good, but also bad... i'm not a millionaire... i can't wait til they emulate the system that tekken 3 or tekken tag uses... that'll be some fun times...

man, i have to go downtown to get the bball stuff that i need?(not bballs and clothing, but i was thinking small accessories, like the exotic stuff: finger sleeves for one...)

ok, i'm done for tonight... review for passion tomorrow... as well as work...

i gotta post some happening during my bio lab session cause it was just too funny:

first i gotta give some background: basically, there's this short azn fob in my class... at times he seems to suck up to the TA, but the truth is, he really loves bio; you can tell by the way he's fascinated by his actions... however, at times he's not too good with words; sometimes it gets under my nerves, because some of the questions he asks our TA seem like he shoots them out without thinking of the answer first.

today in our lab we were more or less prepping for the huge lab practical to come next week; sprayed all over the place were animals of all sorts; spiders(i still detest spiders, esp black, large and hairy ones, but somehow seeing one contained in a cage like it was a pet hamster made it look adorable... after all, even poisonous spiders aren't out to hunt you down; that's just their defense mechanism; sometimes they can be downright friendly... it was made cuter by the paper tag on the cage saying "hi my name is henry"... anyways, where was I?), scorpions, crabs, worms, centipedes, some were dead, others contained within a cage... it was hectic, cause we had to do a lotta writing to get down the stuff we needed to memorize, but for me, it was enjoyable after i finished and just walked around watching how god's creatures are l33t... anyways, i was slower than more others in finishing, so by the time i finished, only me, the fob, and the TA were left in the room... the fob's busy trying to get down in his mind info for the test... he picks up a worm and walks up to the front...

fob: (TA's name), how come this worm isn't moving?
(TA's name): it's dead...

that got me cracking up like crazy, and yet i feel saddened when he spun around and asked me "what?" in a defensive manner... as you know, the way i laugh out loud sounds like i'm laughing at other ppl harshly... it's a bad habit... something that i might wanna consider working on... but it was still funny to see this dialogue play out... if the TA was harshly sarcastic like some bay area ppl, i could see him going, "hmmm... i thought he was dead... but not really, just asleep... go on, poke him... he'll wake up eventua- no, no, don't be shy..."

msm rented out a movie theatre(!) for the sole purpose of watching "passions" after our large group this friday... a review to follow from me on saturday... as for now, do some hardcore reading and praying... hope for big things from this...

me: one of the audience members at a evanescence concert showed a "show us your tits" sign to amy
sam h: wow
sam h: same with switchfoot
me: yea
me: oh?
sam h: i dont think half the audience are christian
me: that's true
me: switchfoot doesn't come out and go "we are christian" like other christian bands
sam h: yeahh
me: they sorta get you to think "is there something more?" and leave it at that
sam h: yep
me: heh... when you told me "yup" to switchfoot, for a moment i wondered why in the world someone would show a "show us your tits" sign to the band members :-D
me: unless if some queers were in the concert....
sam h: oooo haha

ok, i added too much corn starch to my curry soup and overcorrected the problem from last time... a huge hunk of my curry soup tasted like a nasty derivative of jello

that is the very last time i will ever procrastinate til the last minute and then cram for a midterm/paper/whatnot... today, i change everything... i've had enough of myself screwing myself over, procrastinating by idling around on the web, letting my readings go undone... sometimes it works, but it requires a lot more heart than doing some each day... and lately i don't have the heart... i tired of letting myself grow spiritually and mentally hungry... i don't deserve the grades i would get from this crap, and i don't need it... unnecessary... 4+ years down the road, you don't earn your bread from being able to do combos on emulators consistently... and you get good grades from just doing a little bit each day... today, i turn over a new leaf and bring forth the sacrifices to get there... i used to say this stuff all the time, but now, i truly mean it...

"cause i... hate the way i feel tonight/ and i know i need you in my life/ yes i hate the way i feel inside/ and i promise to make the sacrifice"
(12 stones)

(it seems that the more you relate to the words of a song, the more you like it... well, in the above case, "the way i feel" is now probably my favorite song)

that said, i'm not spending any more time typing... i've got some reading to do

william hung got a record deal :D now, he can INDEED bang somewhere else!

is it right to be angry at God? is it right to be frustrated at God due to your circumstances? or are you supposed to just keep everything inside and internally combust from the unanswered questions? cause you can carry everything God right? what about anger and frustrations? maybe i'll find my refuge in this for some days to come:

What a Friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer

Oh, what needs we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

as for now, i'm out...

what's the point of me going on aim anymore? i don't talk to anyone, and the time i spend waiting for someone to talk to me only detracts from the time i should be using to do some studies...

best wishes, kevin dorr of 12 stones... i will miss your bass-playing...

i might have to take back what i said about 12 stones being a harder, more skilled creed... creed's 3rd album(one of their latest), weathered, is pretty hard for a lot of the tracks... i think i've grown to like 12 stones more than creed by now though...

the backlash against "passions" due to the potential for anti-semitism just goes to show how you can't win em all... you either have to dilute the gospel, or present it as it is, and suffer the consequences of a gospel that is offensive by nature...

hmm... the east pulled closer to the west this year than it's been for a while... and sophomores rocked house as usual... but why oh why did jrich have to lose?

phil's up here w/me for about >50% of this week... w/michelle back @minnesota teachin... been so long since i've hung out w/phil w/o michelle next to him... this is gonna be fun hanging out tuesday night... wonder if we're gonna run around in the car looking for some random restaurant like last time?

building 429 - glory defined... i can't wait til i can hear the full track online...

while valentine's day is here and many couples (and young lovers) sit together and smooch over each other, i will sitting at home in my bedroom, hating on the young lovers(i'm talking like college and below) on why the hell they think the highest form of happiness is found in a human relationship, and hating the fact that i have a lotta work to do this weekend when i could be watching the nba all-star weekend at someone's house... ginobili, lebron, amare to watch for in the rookie game, jrich to watch for in the dunk contest, and then kg, duncan, ai, tmac, pierce, and the whole slew together on sunday...

i didn't bring my gamepad back w/me to home... i figured i had a lotta work to get done, and wanted to work on my song in my freetime... not trying to give myself any distractions

udon soup is too good... when you make it yourself... man, do-it-yourself azn cooking is the shizzle... imagine fishballs, chicken tenders, sugar snap peas, and the occasional trout all together in one soup of udon... that is good stuff... adding an egg would also be tight...

everything you want is really within your grasp... the real question is whether or not you've got the heart and soul to seek it with all your strength to get it... and lately, i've been realizing that if i'm ever to go through college with flying colors, i'm going to need to attack school with that type of mentality... because right now, i don't have the heart of a diligent, hardworking person...

my bible study leader is like joe lin w/o the sarcasm... he sounds so much like joe when he talks, that sometimes i'm tempted to call him joe... he's not as funny though... but heck, at least he went to monta vista... that counts for something... never met him or his younger bro when i was still at mvhs... we made fun of our ol cheerleader matador song that the cheerleaders always have to sing during our rallys...

national "self defense" awareness month... man, all they offered for discounts in my emails was stuff on pepper spray... i was hoping a discount on a shotokan class or akido, but maybe that's more of an offense awareness month, heh...

can't wait for this week to end... seems like there's so much that i'm supposed to do... man, another organic chem midterm... they seriously don't give me enough time to study for those...

trivial info, but for the weirdest reason, i was craving for some daikon soup w/fishballs in it today... maybe it's cause i have not been eating azn food for such a long time(miso soup's great, but it gets old, and i'm running out of seaweed, but don't have time to make a korean market run this week)... it least it's nice to know i've always got a stash of tofu and miso back at the apt when i need it... i've mainly been cooking for myself, but some of the stuff i cook isn't exactly azn... you wouldn't call chicken+ tomatoes+ carrots+ potatoes+ garlic+ green onion an azn soup, would you? and noodle soups aren't automatically azn either

kinda bums me how msm(the fellowship me and jon are going to) for their sports day, they now don't ever do bball... it's cause they always want the girls to get into it... they're doing softball this year... man, at least do flag football or something... i miss turkey bowl... well, at least volleyball or something...

comics i'm currently into are on the left; boondocks in particular; i remember the 1st time they appeared in the sj mercury news; back then, i was still a little kid, so i didn't get it(and didn't have the olang gene dwelling in me), so i brushed it off... i was a big garfield and sometimes foxtrot fan... growing up, eventually, garfield wasn't really funny anymore... foxtrot was still the bomb... i recently rediscovered boondocks by reading some of the books in the ucd bookstore... they really are funny... definitely good stuff... the author is a black guy, who sometimes pokes fun at black customs, sometimes at political events, etc... i love how once he had something like this for a comic strip(main char's black, his neighbor is mixed):

girl: i can't tell if i'm black or white...
boy: what do you mean?
girl: well, see, my grandfather was irish, my grandmother was nigerian, my mother was african american, my dad was from england, (rants and rants about her diverse background), so you see how i can't tell
boy: I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
girl: REALLY?
boy: yeah... i'm 1/5 black, 1/8 african-american, 3/7 colored and 1/4 negro
girl: YOU'RE STILL MAKING FUN OF ME!
boy: poor me, i don't know where i fit in...

marvel comics has made the stupidest mistake ever:

click here

in a way, this comic pretty much sums it up... yea... why use ryu... or tick throw with gief... when i can use CAR...

i had a huge-assed laugh reading the posts in reply to this article at SRK.com... sarcasm to the fulllest

goes to show; EA is not a company i respect at all anymore... they crank out as many video games as they can, without regard to REALLY CREATIVE THINKING, they're just trying to make some money, like NFL street?!??!?!? what the hell? way to really think straight there EA, that's not creative, that's just stupid... i can't remember the last time wanting to actually play tackle on the hard pavement with just a t-shirt and shorts... you tell me, "you haven't even seen the game yet" well, do i want to? knowing the reputation EA has... think for a moment... when's the last time EA really created a really creative game? tell me... you'd need to x out all the games they made based off of some movie, all their stupid "EA sports BIG" stuff... um... i don't even WANT to see their ventures into the fighting genre area or marvel for that matter, cause you know it's just going to be even more recycled crap... am i sounding pissed? you betcha... meanwhile marvel vs capcom 2, despite its AGE OLD status(it's a 1999 game if i am still right) is still one of the most widely played fighting games in the US... my campus still has that game, and in fact, they still hold tourneys for it occasionally

i dislike how the new aim 5.5's got the buddy profile button hidden in this tiny corner... i keep accidently pushing the "talk" button instead... if the thing didn't give a 2nd message for confirmation, i'd have to do a lot of explaining to ppl for why i'm stalking them...

tick throwing with 'gief in sf can be so fun...

seems like the shorter the azn girl, the more hyperactive they are... or loud... or have an engaging personality... or what not... something like that...

great... screwed up creating an mp3 of sanctus real's "say it loud" by recording the streaming media of them playing live... the other songs i recorded of them sound fine, but not "say it loud..." they mustve upped their volume before playing, cause they seem to clip slightly when i listen back... nevermind... it took me forever to convert the the entire service to mpeg, then took me forever to convert it to an mp3 using various software... i'm just gonna be happy with what i've got...

making this one quick cause i gotta quickly decide either whether to catch the bus to buy groceries now, or stick a bit longer(ie 1 hr longer) before doing so... eh whatever, i'll wait one more hour...

ginobili had an awesome give and go against the kings yesterday... tight... he might've even went under the rim when he tomahawked it like his signature style... heh... the commentators were like "dude... he just parted the sea like moses" i think overall i like the kings team over the spurs team, but man, ginobili and duncan are both awesome... both of them are balanced on attack and defense... i love the way ginobili plays on offense... kings will be getting cwebb back, so that's awesome to hear...

is it just me, but does it seem like horry's signature move(besides the late 4th-quarter clutch 3) is the lemme-inbound-the-ball-with-a-full-court-qb-style-pass? he does that a lot i think... am i just seeing things? he did that to set up kobe last year for the play of the year, he's done that 2x so far that i've watched the spurs this year to set up turkaglu... he did it again yesterday... if only spurs had someone with huge hops... then that'd make a good combo...

warriors win!

this engrish cracked me up

i just watched the vid on the fob who auditioned for american idol... i died too hard; i had to stop it short so i wouldn't burst out loud laughing in the memorial union... let's get that fob on the air again!

(man... civil engineering at ucb... and a fob... and he sings bad... i bet some ppl are just throwing stereotypes at us azns now... it was bad enough that none of us really are big in the music scene... now this... the way i put it to sam: i bet some east coasters after seeing him never wanna go west side now)

i wonder if this is inspiration to me to work harder on my weak-ass vocals... if i raise my voice above a certain level my voice cracks...

"show me some kindness/ in the midst of the hardships/ cause things should never be this way" -sanctus real

Watch Sanctus Real live on streaming video

if you're gonna watch it, you need to fast forward about a little less than 1/4th of the full sunday service...

look at the date: 2002! it would be like almost 6 months later that i actually found out about them, and about 6 months more before i finally bought their CD... i especially like the way they played "hungry"; chris improvises on the lead guitar very well... and it seems like matt's vocals are strong even live; i can't say the same about the bassist though... but sometimes that's life... can't wait for their sophomore album this summer... go sanctus real!

my japanese coffee candy's got msg...

it's funny really; i bought the thing when i was shopping at the only azn market in downtown davis for miso; i had run outta mini snacks to keep my mouth busy while studying/while in my room, so i decided to give this a try... i was buying the thing cause i thought by the ingredients that it would taste like cola...(had stuff like caramel color, brown sugar, glucose syrup)... it turned out to taste slightly bitter; it wasn't until 1 day later that i actually realized that MAYBE... the candy wasn't cola-flavored, and maybe that it was coffee flavored; coffee flavored stuff is usually pretty fragrant, but it's got a sorta bittersweet feeling to it... which isn't bad, i do like coffee candy, i just wish the package could've said something about the flavor in plain english... maybe next time i'll just stick with the ginger candy i usually crave... (don't laugh; it's pretty sweet, and melts slowly, so very worthwhile; well, as long as ppl aren't sticking their head 1 inch in front of your face to catch a whiff of it)... as for the fact that it's got msg, don't worry, i'm not getting any headaches from it yet; i think stuff like this does have to somewhat do with the nocebo effect; the more you think negatively about it the more you just naturally make yourself get a headache over it...

the play of the day for wed was very nice... a fast break from mike james to set up paul pierce for a 1-handed dunk...

impressive... hammerhead rhythm station is now one of the top 20 downloads at SMM.com... that's the drum software i use... i do have to give the guys credit; granted, for me, since i wasn't as much into sheet music, it's harder to create loops that i like, but they're more realistic than any other program you can get right now(screw .midi; that crap format; .wav all the way)... i need to work on my song again... and soon, if i'm ever gonna write my 2nd song and finish by end of winter quarter...

ok i'm out... peace... til another day arises... wanna stay on longer, but i need to finish my o-chem lab writeups...(it's past midnight on thursday morning)

is it worth it to torture yourself pulling an all-nighter just so that you can get a perfect on your bio b midterm? 2 words: heeeeeeeaallll yea! :D

the rain's starting all over again at ucd(to be honest i was kinda surprised that it came back; so that was what that drumming sound was all night when i was cramming)... i'm guessing it's like this in the bay area too, going off of what i saw in mandy's profile... man, i'm so stuck up in gaming and getting myself down with not studying harder and putting down the controller that i forgot what it's all about... i remember when i used to embrace the rain... that was last school year... there's a sort of beauty in it... screw the fact that you're getting wet(and if you're too shallow to see beyond the fact of that, i hope god knocks some sense into you)... i'm not talking about the childish urge to go splash around in puddles... i'm talking about the rain that seems to fall with the same rhythm to "blessed be your name" by matt redman(but the free version is performed by tree63 at grassrootsmusic.com)... and just gazing up in its embrace, feeling god's grace... thinking of how wonderful and awesome god's design is... it's stuff like this that just reminds me and etches back into my mind of the power of god, his beauty and grace, how shallow most of us are to see it, and how the tiniest flick of god's finger can send us scrambling like that... (once i go back home, after i eat, i think i'm going outside and gazing at the rain; i think i need the quiet time)... reminds me, maybe i need to redo the rain recording that i did back home... maybe it'll sound better... heh heh... one's thing for sure; it seems too short...

but getting back... i bet jesus never rested after his daily victories... so i did well on this midterm... that's good, but i should pick up the pace right after i go home and keep studying even though i'm beat from no sleep... that way i hit the bed early and get up good and rested early to do it all over again... after all, like i always say, it's crunch time... even more so when you gotta bring up your grades and free up your time...

because jon's tv is crap(the one in the living room), i didn't really care about either team, and because i had a bio midterm to cram for, i didn't watch the game until i actually had to make dinner... and i am happy to see that the patriots won... who cares about nc panthers?

btw, i got to see one pepsi commercial before the game was over... and it cracked me up... jimi hendrix was the most influential 70s rock musician... the guy was awesome on the electric guitar... furthermore, he played with a left-handed guitar(i have seen a buncha posters of him in my bro's room), making him one of the very few elite lead guitarists who do so... that song you heard during the commercial was one of his most famous songs... there was even a debate i had visited upon at srk.com in the misc forums(haha... imagine that... guys who would rather perfect their dragon punches down to an art talking about rock) about who was the best guitarist ever... there were quite a lotta votes for jimi hendrix(my vote goes to eddie van halen, because he created more effects USING a guitar, and pretty much played lead guitar for food), too bad his life ended from drug overdose... and he was just about willing to accept christ too... his last day before he died he stopped and pleaded with the crowd that if anyone found real peace to meet him backstage... no one came forth... a shame...

but back to the commercial, it cracked me up... after they played his song with a close-up of a fender, they switched the view over to the coke machine and the accordian nearby, and played that same song with that instrument... heh heh... yea, good thing eh...

btw, i saw this on wes' aim profile, too funny:

Golden Rules of IM

Stop with these oblique away messages like "Not here", "Away", "Gone", or using an AIM face. If you had to crap, fine. Tell us, we're concerned for your well being. And for goodness sake don't use the default away message: "I am away from my computer right now." Don't you get disappointed when you see that?

Please stop with LOL. Only about .4% of people actually "Laugh out Loud" and they are retarded. And don't give me this ROTFLMAO (Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off). I'd actually like to see you try this just so you can snap your neck as you fall out of your chair. Good. Nothing to LOL about now, is there?

kinda bummed that the see spot rock tour will swing around la and anaheim, but will not visit davis, sac, or at the very least, nor cal... i don't care about the adoration tour at uc davis(newsboys, audio a, jeremy camp)

ykno, if duncan was just one tenth of a second earlier on that clutch dunk against the painful loss at the bucks, it would've made the top ten at nba.com(really, really, too bad for the spurs)... but instead we gotta settle for redd's shake and bake of horry and duncan for the clutch layup; (but in all honesty)give credit where it's due; that was an awesome play...

had a little scare... had a problem with my graphics driver which caused the cpu to freeze and had to restart... downloaded latest graphics driver... installed... restarted... and couldn't get my cpu to go into windows normally... rinse and repeat that last step until i was debating whether to throw my laptop on the ground in frustration... calmed down... started windows using the last config... downloaded the latest graphics controller... restarted and prayed HARD... my cpu's normal again... thank god... man, all that time wasted that i could've studied before i went to my bio lab... or played tfc... well, that's gonna have to pass... i should go eat instead... then i'd have 2 good hours to cram-errr, study...

i was tired, and add to that that my bio instructor dimmed the lights for the slideshow, and the chairs in soc sci 1100 are COMFY(fabric, not wood backs)... zzzzz... thank god he let you print out the lectures online, but still... i mightve missed a LOTTA details...

i've been hating myself lately... i lack discipline... dunno when to say no...

man, can you believe that oreos are considered kosher?(i'm saying this in a skeptical way, not a hopeful way) don't believe me? go pick up an oreos package and look for a small circle with a capital U in the middle. i remember hearing this in my food science class, and didn't believe it, til i saw it today... it's like saying donuts are good for you or something... you'd think with the hydrogenation done to it that it's supposedly "clean"? and i thought hebrew national hot dogs were supposed to be good... now i'm reevaluating... no wonder jesus said it's not what goes into your mouth that makes you unclean... he mustve predicted the day that we'd call oreos kosher... it's like the atkins diet... i'm disgusted with that diet idea as well...

speaking of atkins diet, from a biological standpoint, i can see the reason why you'd lose weight on it; there are 3 forms of energy that humans use; carbohydrates, proteins, and lipids(fats)... carbs are most readily available, so they're used up first... then proteins, then lipids, which take a long time to digest and to finally be used... lipids provide the most energy per matter, but they never get used, cause yeah... so by taking away the carbs as a source of energy, you start using the proteins and fats in your body you never use... and thus lose weight by actually getting around to using the fats... this is good in the short term, but bad in the long term... why? because you don't consume grains just for the carbs... you consume them for the nutrients they provide... there's a reason you have to ingest vitamins and minerals; to stay healthy... the 3 energy things provide your energy, but the vitamins and minerals are the little things that enable you to stay running... sorta like just feeding your car gas, but not giving it tune-ups, replacing used parts etc... the gas is obviously the main thing, but it's not the only thing... all those guys on the atkins diet are going to suffer long-term effects from various diets that require fiber and the like...

i love how kj-52 addressed the fact that some people think he wrote "dear slim" just to make some money and diss eminem:

“Come on, I do Christian rap. I live in a one-bedroom apartment and drive a beat-up mini van. How much money am I going to make? People download the song [from my Web site] anyway.

… the response I’ve gotten from people saying how much the song changed their lives, to me that was the bigger picture.”

(taken from http://calvinfreitas.f2o.org/blog/archives/2003/07/30/kj52_followup.php)

think you should get rid of christian hip-hop and rock? apparently the ol skoolers don't realize the kids who worship eminem sometimes have heard kj's song and turned their ways around...

found an article on how to bunny hop in tfc... will try some this weekend, provided i'm done studying for bio and rewriting my paper...

i'm liking what i'm hearing from the samples of kj-52's latest album, "pronounced five-two"... man, all these christian cds i'm coveting all of a sudden... waiting for the summer releases of sanctus real, 12 stones, maybe pillar, and now kj-52...

"the hour of the star" is such a weird book... a fiction about a narrator writing about a story about a poor girl, who is just weird and doesn't get it, but is so happy... it's about time i saw that a person wrote a book about a poor person STAYING poor... i think the author tries to make you feel all sorts of things inside from this book; frustration at the poor girl for not getting why she's a loner, but sympathetic because, her background led up to this... ring any bells? (bob, remember the celebration of discipline reference?)

had a little internal clash in my head when i was trying to get up or decide to stay down in my bed(i already missed the bus, if i wanted to get up to run to school, i'd still be late)... no, i wasn't muttering out loud...
optimist side: cmon, get up
pessimist side: what's the use? i'm gonna miss most of class
optimist side: any part of class lecture is still good for you
pessimist side: why? i feel like i've done so many stupid mistakes so far in college; why the hell should i go on at all?
optimist side: that's why god forgave you
pessimist side: i know i'm just gonna sin again; waste my oppurtunities; god's giving me second chances, only to see me blow them away
optimist side: god only gives second chances to people who are willing to try, now GET THE HELL UP!
(that did it and got me up)

so as i was trying to quickly walk to school, i mulled over what my optimist side had said... the very last thing... about god only giving second chances to people who are willing to try... isn't that the truth? thanks for the lesson god, and DON'T LET ME EVER FORGET IT

there's this really short, dorky blond girl who just oozes of weirdness in my biology b class... she sits in the front of the class and asks these really OBVIOUS questions or says stuff that really doesn't matter... her voice is like the dorky girls that snl's rachael dratsch sometimes plays. i wonder if anybody's clued her in that she's really quite weird... then again, it took me a while in jr high-high school for me to be clued in that i was acting like an idiotic dork, and then took me quite a bit to shake that image, and i'm still in the process...

today's bio b discussion cracked me up... the teacher was trying to show why evolution occurs w/o blending of genes(ie white gene+black gene = grey gene, instead of white gene+black gene = grey(one black, one white, not mixed together)), and he was showing that when we do have this blending of genes(white gene+black gene = gene), that in a few generations, the black gene would no longer be there, and you'd never see it(assuming darker color is favored, and that the population starts with all white rabbits, and one grey rabbit, which has one white and one black gene)... so he was asking us if there was any other way for the grey rabbit to keep surviving, and one female student asked,
"maybe if the rabbit mates with itself?"
instructor: well, that's a good thought, but you'd assume that where natural selection says that the mating is random, and the chances of mating with its own kind...
*silence; girl friend next to student starts cracking up*
instructor: haha... well... seems like you two are good friends eh?
*now you hear a few laughs here and there in the room as ppl start getting it, but now i'm just chuckling too loud and long*
instructor: in later chapters we'll cover asexual reproduction, but for now...

reminds me of family guy where peter griffin's having a conversation with michael eisner and bill gates, all three are outside laying on the grass at night, looking at the stars:
bill: wow... look at the stars... if God created all this, who created God?
michael: maybe he created himself
peter: or HERself
bill+michael: AAAAAAHHH
peter: think about that

waiting for my lecture notes to be printed at davis, so while i'm waiting in the public cpu room, why not throw some thoughts on the ol web eh?

i see that sprite's gonna be doing the courtside countdown again for this year... wonder if this means my bball multimedia collection on my cpu's gonna grow again? (note to self; delete more crap from your cpu)

what else... jeremy camp finally made a music video of "understand..." unfortunately, i think whoever did that could've done a better job... basically, it just shows him walking around... i know the song's full of meaning, but man, you could've done something better... didn't even show him playing...

w.w.j.d. this means what would jesus do right? punched that into the google search, and came up with what would JUDAS do... surprised just how much people always find a way to distort the truth. there is a church of judas, and on their website they have their reasons why they think judas is our saviour, not jesus. but here's the thing; how is following judas going to ever save my soul? even the website states that judas went to hell, not heaven. but judas didn't pay the price for any of us, well, just punch in wwjd into google, and you'll find the site; i wanna comment more, but a lot of their arguments are very shallow, like the fact that judas voluntarily gave himself up by killing himself, and that jesus was arrested against his will(any bible-reading infant could tell you jesus voluntarily gave himself up)... stuff like this gets my inner "hater-mentality" all riled up... like the way the world treats stuff, and just doesn't see the need and the context of the word of God... pisses me off big-time... thank God i'm not very vocal, or i'd explode...

btw, i'm now wearing justin's wwjd bracelet that he gave me frequently... i think it looks cool, and it serves a good visible reminder to do what's right... sometimes it's very helpful... who knows... there may be cases where i'm about to slack off, and i need that reminder straight in my face... and ballers also have this tiny bracelet sometimes on their wrists, so... heh...

oh yea, i thought of this when trying to think of reasons we're allowed to worship God however we'd like(since it bugs me how when you go to online message boards there's always someone who thinks it's wrong for christians to worship with heavy rock or hip hop or the like)... the reference that paul made to eating meat(it's in my bible verse links up there somewhere)... and think about how the early church had to debate whether or not to junk the jewish traditions, and not lay those upon gentile believers... the point is, like paul's reference to eating meat, look at the heart... not every person's gonna feel the same thing... some christians feel ok with a biblical tattoo on their body(who knows; it may be like the wwjd bracelet idea gone a bit further; maybe it reminds them of who they are when they need it, or to serve as a witness to others[cause maybe they're shy and would like some easy way to introduce themselves]), some don't... ditto w/christian music... i know some ppl just won't be able to hold their stand in a 12 stones or pillar concert, but i know i could(although i've never been to either; wonder if i would need special earplugs for such?), and it's not cause i'm flaunting it, it's cause i feel more connected that way... hey, there's nothing wrong with having fun when you're worshipping God...

i've been giving the thought of updating my other website with some thought... the idea's growing, so i'll prob eventually do it... still dunno if i'm gonna throw the actual songs on there, put em on iuma.com, or keep em at the yahoo site on the left... but i plan on adding what i call "scratchings", or lyrics i wrote down that i never made into a song, for a specific page...

we had the eggheads dancing around our campus... eh, um, i think if you don't understand what i'm talking about you won't... must be a UCD-exclusive thing...

check this out, we got jeremy camp playing again at ucd soon... but now we gotta pay for it, so i'll pass... good overall line-up though; audio adrenaline's gonna be there, and some other popular christian music group that i can't recall off the top of my head. man, 12 stones, sanctus real, pillar, come to ucd and play for free! :D (chances of this happening are in a blue moon; i think me and jon were EXTREMELY lucky to have jeremy camp and telecast come here to play for FREE)

man, i wanna help out w/the youth group's iron chef! esp since now that i know a bit about cooking...

found a piano synthesizer online... i think the name was kb piano or something, found it at shareware music machine.com... but it's on midi files... and to me, midi sounds way too electrical and unreal... so while it's the best freeware thing i could find on it, i'll have to pass... i can't even REALLY play piano... my attempts at playing something good on it degraded quickly...

well, this IS winter quarter sophomore year, if i need to step it up sometime, it's obviously gotta be now. sucks how much responsibility weighs on your shoulders the older you get; i feel like freshman year was just 2 months ago. and perhaps that's the big downside of capitalism; yes, you get what you earn, but you also get what you earn. so if you work hard, you reap the benefits; if luck doesn't fall your way, well... that's life...

ok, i'm done... lots to do this weekend... a LOT... school, job searching, guitar playing, coming close to God, AND i gotta watch that i don't overdo playing tekken 2 on my cpu... i'll just have to force myself to conceed that i only do that after i'm finished with EVERYTHING... but for now, i'll splurge a token or two on tekken 3 at the arcade, then i gotta attend the last lecture of today... btw we now how guilty gear xx, but i was never into that game... we also have SNK vs Capcom... but i'd really like either Tekken 4, Tekken Tag Tournament or Virtua Fighter 4 Evo for our arcade... or an emulator :D

Heh heh... eat pork, beeyyotch!

Now I understand why Sanctus Real redid Beautiful Day

apparently this CD has all of U2's songs redone by various christian artists; having Grits on there is a nice touch... this confirms my readings a while ago of how bono got together with all these christian artists to see if they would do something for africa

man, all my fave christian artists are working on a new album due summer... 12 stones... pillar... sanctus real... i bet jeremy camp's got something up his sleeve too...

i wonder when the super bowl's ever going to have an offense-offense matchup... at least an offense-defense matchup would be ok(even though the past has always shown that the offensive team gets raped by the defensive team)... but panthers and patriots?!?!? i don't even WANT to watch this year's super bowl; at least when i watched giants and ravens i was at john tang's house getting free food... sounds superficial yes, but still... but if you were to ask me who'd i rather win probably patriots... i'm still sad that the eagles lost though. more sad that the chiefs got knocked out in the playoffs, and even more saddened that the niners didn't even make the playoffs. that's made even sadder that TO's leaving...

bball must be the only game where i actually CARE about defense more than offense; all other sports i want to see numbers jump on the scoreboard... bball i STILL want to see numbers climb, but watching some guy's shot get stuffed or watching a big man clean the glass is very satisfying in itself.

hmm... remember superchic- barlow girls? well, those 3 sisters of whom the band was inspired by now have their own band... i remember them getting played on air1 a few days ago...

the whole notion of "health foods" make me sick... if you're gonna crave beef, eat the real thing... if you want cheese, eat the real thing... i'm tired of soy being used as a shallow substitute for anything...

after reading bob's writing for today, i realize many of us have online diaries by now; the reasons are of course various; some, only cause it's the only way to comment on other ppl's online diaries... most of my friends are like that... maybe cause all your friends are doing it... there's a lot more youth doing xanga, and not blogger, because all their friends are online and have a site for themselves... maybe you're hoping someone out there will pick up the stuff you have put in, and with a grain of salt, come away enlightened... some dedicate their stuff to other things(like the american soldier)... and of course, the list goes on and on...

why do i write in an online journal, much less a public one, so that everyone can see my stuff? i dunno; i'm fairly honest about what i write down(although i will admit there's some things that go on in the back of my head that i never put down, out of fear of other ppl, such as girl fettishes, and the like), but i wasn't looking for fame(in fact, many of my friends never read my entries, because even though i throw out what i consider to be deep thoughts, they're extremely long; i got a taste of my own medicine when i tried to read mandy's xanga site when she was still into that... nothing but words without breaking topics with the return key, not to mention it was written in the atypical teenage girl talk(ie heehee, oh yeah, and the like)... in the beginning, my place was just another place i wanted so that i could put down my thoughts; adding thoughts to your own webpage if it isn't in a journal format is a lot more tedious... also, because the space given you on a journal is indefinite, it's a much better place for throwing your thoughts online than on an AIM profile, where you get a limit(and all you have to do is add a link to your profile)...

but really, why have i kept it up for such a long time, and often, i end up writing longer and more frequently than anyone i know who has a diary? a lot of my friends have quit their sites after a while... only the young adults i know have kept this up... i guess... it's not the fame; many ppl don't even READ my site... so i could write about raping ppl and blowing black people's heads off with a shotgun, and only a select few would even bother to tell me about my faults... the reason is that it's more for myself. you'd be surprised just how treasuring it can be to one day go back and read what you wrote and rethink about everything... the diary is in aspects the loner's best friend because when you've got no girl to pour out every single thought to, you can always turn to this. and that's why i write here; for my own benefit. it's tough to sift through what you wrote when you come back, but you'll know everything was in here. from iverson, to tekken 3, to sanctus real, to the effects pedals you wanna get, to jeremiah's struggles against what he wanted and what God wanted, to just trying to stay alive in davis, it's all here, and if you wanna read it, go ahead; if you don't, i'll be fine with that.

never stop the online journal.

(on a sidenote, i will be home for the weekends; is the superbowl coming up this 3-day weekend?)

contemp christian music thoughts:

12 stones is coming out w/stuff again summer... can't wait... although, waiting might lower the price a bit... indeed, 12 stones is interesting to analyze... yes, all the band members(except maybe the drummer, cause when i looked in the cd's jacket for thanks, only the drummer didn't give god/jesus the praise, although he did mention to remember the golden rule) are christians, and paul mccoy writes lyrics that definitely show a relationship between himself and god, but onstage, they are a bit interesting to analyze; one of paul's quotes paraphrased is that he and his band members are christians, but they're aware that their audiences may have different beliefs and such, so they just wanna present something positive for their audiences to fall back upon... which i think is good; to be honest, this makes them seem to have the P.O.D. attitude, where you know who you are, but try to reach as many as possible(by being slightly hidden about beliefs, so many ppl don't get turned off), so that if they find out your beliefs, they'll be like "oh wow, i never knew; maybe there's more to this than i thought"; they've played with their share of secular bands(mainly from the same company that they're attached to; wind-up, which is why they've toured with creed, and paul's helped evanescence, another wind-up product), but it has mainly been with secular bands. although, this year on See Spot Rock(christian rock tour), they're touring with other christian groups, such as Pillar, which is tight... too bad the tour doesn't visit norcal as far as i can remember.

speaking of Pillar... i'm thinking of getting their cd; i like the songs that are displayed; maybe i'm listening to a different version of their songs, but the ones on their website have the drums a bit more "realistic-sounding," compared to the stuff i dl'd off of .mp3 a while ago... i'm starting to get back into the rock+hip-hop-hybrid genre all over again, which also is influencing my thoughts on my songs... although christian rock+hip-hop is mainly heavy rock+rapping, not like linkin park... if i could just find a good synthesizer software and learn how to work it well, then i could crank out some good stuff...

i should've waited til winter break to get sanctus real's cd; they have a limited edition version which includes 5 free extra songs... but what i really wanted was their remake of u2's beautiful day song, which is currently not being sold yet...

i'll end tonight by saying i finally got around to dl'ing Neurotic's music off of his iuma site(remember the person who i said was similar to me?), and to be honest, i was turned off; 1st song sounded like a slow Nirvana song, and the 2nd one was some trance beat... ugh...(i'll say right now i don't like dance/trance music; too spazzy in general; do i need to smoke some crack before i listen to feel it?) i'll give him credit on editing though, cause his guitar sounded a bit more like the cd chorus pedal stuff, but i realize that my shortcomings with the vocals and guitar has more to do with my sound card than my actual skills(i think)... or the software... well, when you stick out the words, be sure to back it up; we'll have to see how my next song does...

after reading the required novel of "naomi" by tanizaki makes me think girls in relationships are evil... seriously... it's a good book, but at the end you also have to say the husband joji is too much in love with her to think straight... and that the wife is just hooking and baiting him at her will... and perhaps that is the point of the book(love doesn't cause you to think right), but the themes of westernization may be woven throughout the book; westernization leads to culture clashes, and dropping and picking up of values; y'kno, modern society can sometimes truly suck...

everything is a lesson in life... study hard... cause school's in session...

man, chiefs lost... which is sad... considering how much i love dante hall... he's ran 4 punt returns for a TD during the regular season, tying the record... he ran a 92-yrder during today against the colts(and gave the crowd and kc defense a real boost in moral when he did it, bringing the game within 7 again)... but no defense by either team, and came down to it, chiefs lost by a td+extra pt. ah well, maybe next year. go x-factor!

btw, stumbled across this; strange how ever since i've come across the jehovah's witnesses once, i've been interested in finding counter points so that i know that i'm worshipping the true God:
The Wrong Train

and indeed, i find this article to be quite true; for instance, the point that the witnesses find scripture to back up their beliefs, not to discover truth; i remember reading a point how only 144,000 ppl will get into heaven, but nelson pointed out how just the next verse it points out a large multitude of believers in heaven worshipping God.

also, when i came across the part which said they study off their articles, the watchtower, instead of the bible, and when they do, use their own, i had to agree, but also reflected on myself; where have I been getting my spiritual food from? a sermon? someone else's mouth? ok, a pastor, but still... if i want to grow, to become a better christian, it starts from that book.

it's like praying, and coming to God; today's lesson was from Genesis 32:24-32; when Jacob wrestled with God, God touched his socket, and Jacob refused to let go until he was blessed; God was testing Jacob. like Jacob, we need to pray and come to God, to have passionate prayer, focused prayer, and persistent prayer. only after doing so does God give us what we need in his name.

in our memorial union building at uc davis, there is this huge plaque inside the griffin lounge, which is essentially what you would call what looks like a waiting room... but that plaque lists all the ucd soldiers who gave up their lives for the good of this country... powerful stuff...

and on the other end of the spectrum, the bathrooms in the ucd male restroom have writing scrawled all over them; some comments are just stupid, but some are funny, like the one which says "i have more ink than you have paint"

fake overjoyousness is sooo annoying...

like when my org chem TA was teaching our class and um... to be honest, it's kinda hard to put into words what makes it fake, but if you could hear a sound clip, you'd know it's outta place... "isn't this so exciting? it's like doing puzzles! my husband had to tell me "go to sleep" cause i was too pepped up to go to sleep over these! now you try em!" sorry lady, but it's gonna take a couple more years before i WANT to stay up doing chem problems over sleeping...

marbury's still probably missing being a suns guy... i do... his pattern as a point guard as grown to take advantage of amare and marion; drive and bounce pass to them; they finish with a dunk... and why, on the phoenix end, do you guys even WANT to trade away stephen marbury?

yes, ppl associated with the national basketball association blog too:
click here

Warriors and Mavs tonight! go gsw!

britney, britney, britney... way to think rationally... ladies and gentlemen, here's the proof that las vegas is an evil town indeed and why anything can happen, like marrying someone you only knew during your childhood...

i dunno whether to say my mom's overreacting from mad cow disease stuff or being correct... i need to check the facts on mad cow disease to confirm this...

heh heh... been a while since i checked the nba top 10... so i was surprised to find ben wallace doing a pump fake reverse layup... damn!

the finished song will have to wait... i couldn't bring my guitar back w/me to davis... i can still work on the drumloops, and maybe vocals, but yes, guitar fills will have to wait...

may God grant me the desire to work harder... i hope he blows my love of video gaming to hell; that thing draws me away pretty hard... it is definitely one god i wish i could do without... it's probably what draws me away from getting better grades... i keep telling myself it's gonna be better next quarter, but...

i've managed to finish both Jeremiah and Lamentations(written by Jeremiah as well) this break... i see how the modern-day american christian fits Jeremiah's personality so well... like him we want out of the job... we think it's unfair that ppl torture and make sport of us... all we can do is tell them an unpopular message; you're sick, and you need help. nobody likes giving stuff up; everybody is to an extent superficial... but all we can do is press on. we know that God is backing us, but wish he'd be a bit more obvious and put the ppl who are against us as well as the troubles that arise from modern-day society to shame.

on a side note; you know that the gods that ppl worshipped during the old testament had cruel commands of obediance, usually demanding that the children be sacrificed so that their dreams of prosperity could occur. God could not accept this and so destroyed Judah so that it would never happen again. you realize just how ingrained it was in the ppl because you see in Jeremiah near the end that the ppl actually blamed Josiah(a very good Judahian king) for their downfall; he banned the Queen of Heaven, a Babylonian god, and a few years later, Babylon invaded them. but now, here's something to think about; aren't abortions used for birth control essentially the same thing? we're sacrificing our own children to gods of responsibility and prosperity(i don't want a kid; then i won't be able to work my job), in order to better our lifestyle. sure, ppl don't think what i'm saying is completely true, but then, it's not completely inaccurate either.

so, my vaction hasn't all gone to plan; that thing about fixing the saturn? nope; it's broke again; changing the battery didn't fix it. so that means i'm gonna have to carpool w/jon again(i hope he's not bringing too much stuff and can let me bring my guitar & green bag up; i'm not done recording my song)

plus, i spent too much time gaming on my cpu every day, which ALWAYS prompts the same thing from my mom: kee tak sze!(bad english phonetic attempt at taiwanese for: go read a book!), not to mention all the other stuff i wanted to do; i've gotten rid of the games now on my cpu which are way to easy to setup and play; only kept the cps2 emulators... and a few others...

and, i've been waking up very late lately... i don't get it... usually i can always wake up before phil does when he comes over; this time around i'm surprised to find phil getting up before i did; note that he wasn't the one who changed; i did. that took a huge chunk outta my time each day. like, 12:00, or even 1 every day. cold weather my ass; you gotta get up sometime; jumping in a pool's always gonna feel cold at the beginning...

but i've really begun to love songwriting; seems the more i tinker w/music creator with writing songs the more of its gizmos i come to appreciate... makes me wish i started REALLY doing stuff and not wasting time or gaming during my break... but from what i've done, i'm getting better at it; the latest song i'm working on is going great; how? usually i can't bear to even listen to my works after i've created them; but this time; i can't get the song i wrote outta my head, even though i'm not done adding stuff or converting it to .mp3 format; i keep hitting the replay button; this is good; furthermore; i feel like as the song is developing, that my walk with God is aligning itself again; it's like the more i feel the sincerity of the lyrics i'm writing, the more i'm living them out. and i hope it's gonna be like that; gaming's still fun, but i want it to fall in line with songwriting.

k, i should log off, before the neighbors wonder why their cable internet access is so slow, hint hint :D

1 more day that phil and michelle stay up here... and i'm not even too sure that it's gonna be at least a 8 hr AWAKE period... nevertheless, we did do a few things up here... like fix my car... hang around together at the valley fair... should've done more... like, i wanted to play ball w/phil... i can't remember the last time we played 1 on 1; it's just been such a long time... well, we did play nba 2k together... i whooped him:
warriors > lakers
celtics > hornets
twolves > blazers
kings > blazers
then we play nfl 2k together, and since i haven't really played that game, he whups me pretty badly: green bay > niners, 23-3
(i should order replacement dc controllers; both of ours are shot to hell)

conan's just way too funny; i've gotta quote(paraphrasing what i can't remember) what he said about Lord of the Rings 3:
"it made over a quarter of a billion dollars (audience whoops)... yea i know; in fact, the lines were so jam packed outside that the police had to use GIRLS to keep everyone in order (he then proceeds to act like a nerd who's never seen a girl's cleavage before)"

i kinda wanna write more, but i wanna get the most outta tomorrow xmas day, so i'll just end with this comic strip i have on my wall at home:

ever remember mallard fillmore? this was a comic of a male duck that just sorta wasn't too funny. however, he did post some good stuff every easter and xmas, reminding everyone what it was all about... remember el nino? ykno, the warm ocean current that was gonna screw our weather and blast everything to hell?

bald guy: when it's over with, how much do you think this "el nino's" gonna shake up the world?

mallard: not that much...
...compared to the first el nino...

the 3rd frame reads:
"For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the LORD"
Luke 2:12

merry christmas everyone and God bless; i'm out...

man, only 2 more days that phil and michelle get to stay up here w/me...

plus side of being a spare-time songwriter, but not currently being on a worship team:
-i get to work with the drop db tuning a LOT more w/o worrying about retuning the guitar(still want another electric guitar for this purpose, and still want a delay pedal, but i understand phil's not the richest person in the world, and has to worry about parenting about 5 months later, so i'll have to think about solving this one on my own[btw, it's gonna be a boy]):

C#, G#, C#(octave higher), F#, Bb, Fb

hope to have the song finished completely by break's end...

btw... can you believe just how much ppl suck up to vince carter? it's like when kobe stopped being constant on the top 10 of the week, that ppl HAAAVE to suck up to him now...