Free Ice Cream from Cold Stone

so... anybody wanna visit Valley Fair July 24th w/me? they have Cold Stone... let's raid the place! :D

man, i am sweaty right now; i think i'll go take a shower before i head back to church... worship practice was fun though, and i didn't even know jerm's cousins play the guitar now! the reason i'm sweaty is cause i decided to try to shoot some hoops at farley while janet's team was practicing and bob's team was off...

later guys...

alright, so like i said i would, i read half of nehemiah today; i wanted to finish ALL of it, but it was slightly longer than usual, and i grew tired taking notes, so i'll just finish tomorrow morning... or end up finishing it sunday afternoon, since i may actually get to finish my .mp3 project tonight or tomorrow morning(i seriously wonder if i'm ever gonna finish 3 songs like i wanted this summer though; seems the more i dive into the project the more things i can find wrong sounding with it, it mainly has to do with the fact that i can never get the bass sounds to come out right, but there's other issues, and the more i see them i'm reluctant to finish; uh, hm, i need to pray about this)... anyways:

the 1st half of the book more or less talks about how nehemiah made the journey back to jerusalem to help his people rebuild the wall of jerusalem; think of its importance this way; having a strong, protected wall would keep raiders, robbers, other races out; and since the wall was weak, israel's religion was easily being diluted as the jews didn't feel safe and thus married to other races, and thus slowly began losing their touch of God. now, more or less, the book follows from the perspective of nehemiah. he is seen as a person who is in power, but constantly asks God for help; in fact, for the petition to the persian king, he first put up a prayer to God before asking him, and it worked. also, he is seen as a remarkable leader; when the bordering politicians looked to try to impede the wall-rebuilding progress, by force, he was able to reorganize the workers and spur them on, telling them to be strong and fight for God; apparently nehemiah never separated religion from action. he was also wise enough to see through the personal plots by the politicians on his life, and later, his reputation; while you can find out more by reading chapters 1-6, i think i will elaborate on something new i saw; they tried intimidation one way; by sending him an unsealed letter saying that it could be possible that he was trying to revolt and set himself up as king, then encouraging him to meet with them. obviously it was an attempt on his life, but basically, and unsealed letter meant anyone could read it, which was part of the intimidation; again, he saw through it. then another time one of his associates told him that he knew people were plotting to assassinate him, and thus tried to convince him to go hide in the temple; this was an attempt not to kill him, but tarnish his reputation; i believe only Levites at the time could enter the temple; either that or maybe you can only enter on the Sabbath. but yeah, he saw all through it, and soon the temple was completed. i wish i have THAT resolve and wisdom to see what i wanted to do through.

the more i see it, when you have a slightly above-average height and are playing bball, and have the rock, you don't need flashiness to beat the opponent... although i will see whether this holds up as i play more; i mean i was doing good yesterday against sam, sarah and louis w/me, jerm and jon, but maybe that's cause they weren't guarding me THAT closely(enabled me to get a lot of good shots), and jerm and jon work as a team, making good passes, unlike selfish me(that'll be something i need to work on)... usually i can't figure out how to shake the opponent off of me when they guard me in my face... my spin move's still too unreliable, and frontal crossover's a no-no when you're that close... but then, mj didn't have a lotta ballhandling skills on offense; what made him so good was the shot itself, and the usefulness of the crossover to him, plus his footwork... as i read somewhere online, he beat opponents with his footwork, not his hands... his handwork all came from the shot itself... so maybe i'll just enter each game with that mentality... i still can't figure out how to shake people who are in my face though... i had two highlights yesterday, actually, make that three; one was a defensive monster swat at a shot(i will not comment here because i think it was so utterly funny you had to see it to believe it; jerm and jon were rolling on the ground), the other one was a stutter step right when i had the ball but immediately shifted left and shot the ball(will have to try that more; it worked like a charm), and the last one was a turnaround jumper in midair, like a 180...(so it wasn't a turnaround, then jump and shoot, i actually jumped with my back to the board, twisted myself around, then shot)

i will pray, and keep asking you God, for the desire to create my own songs of worship to show my love for you... please help me... grant me knowledge as to how to edit...

youth group's meeting at valley fair tonight; this should be fun...

and, more or less, i'm spending the entire day at church tomorrow; should also be fun...

wow... i am BREEZING through the old testament now, now that i'm actually trying... today's lesson from ezra; apparently, 70 yrs in exile DID make a difference. before the babylonians had carried off southern israel, the people of judah were fairly ignorant. God sent a buncha prophets, but they wouldn't listen, or heed or repent, you get the idea; judah was a stiff-necked people indeed. however, we see that in ezra, when the people came to ezra telling him how they were intermarrying with foreign peoples and worshipping their gods, that ezra breaks down and prays an intercessory prayer for them; they then all join ezra in mourning and agree to get rid of all their hindrances to God; but we saw that in Joshua right after all the stiff-necked egyptian israelites died off that a new generation full of zeal for God rose up. and so it seems with Christianity; a lot of the people who grow up in hardships are the ones who understand how awesome it is to be close with God; then a nation arises which doesn't suffer the same consequences and the like, and they fall, and so i'm beginning to see how MAYBE a little hardship isn't bad after all; it was good for the israelites...

next up; nehemiah for tomorrow...

go wish fatcheeks(joe) a BIG happy bday if you haven't yet...

i don't really like todd agnew's "this fragile breath" melodically, but i think the lyrics are so true:

I searched the world for a song that I could sing
Praise to my King, A gift that I could bring
But no music I found could compare to You
Not one could do Justice to Your glory
What are my songs compared to Yours

You speak with thunder and lightening
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer is this fragile breath
With each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more

I searched the world for a poem I could read
A rhyme that would bring Glory to my King
But no writing I found was worthy of
This God high above all other gods
What are my words compared to Yours

Sonicflood- Cry Holy:

Every sun and moon and star
All declaring who You are
We fall silent in amazement
Every word and deed of man
Every sea and grain of sand
All creation speaks
And now we sing to proclaim You majesty

Let the earth rejoice
Singing with one voice
Let the people cry
Holy holy Lord
Every creature sing
Praises to the King
All creation cry
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord

Every song sung on the earth
Will never capture all You worth
We fall silent in amazement
Let every humble heart now see
The beauty of Your majesty
All creation speaks
And now we sing to the King
Above all Kings

All creation proclaims Your majesty
Holy is Your name in all the earth
All creation proclaims Your majesty
And now we sing

forgiveness vs.vengence; the more you think about it, the more it's harder to see how you can be forgiving AND just; some people say you can be just and still forgive(ie punishing clinton by impeaching him but forgiving him); but really, if you had a hard of forgiving, you probably wouldn't punish them at all; think about it; an innner heart reflects an outward attitude; it's like only when you inner feelings of vengence have subsided, THEN you forgive them. so that doesn't really work. now, i'm not one to suggest it was a bad idea to execute the Nazis, or that we shouldn't go after saddam and his two sons(just reading an archive from TIME on the ruthlessness of his 2 sons pisses me off greatly), or osama; of COURSE we should go after them. as long as we set standards of right and wrong we need to uphold those standards. but i'm seeing how much harder it is to TRULY forgive someone if all you're concentrating upon is the punishment. am i wrong? or am i onto something?

i am trying to go about this day without even touching my capcom fighting games or cpu cs; consider it as a sort of fast, like daniel's; i want to see how much more i can get out of this day, as i often waste my time since i go overboard. maybe i should even extend it to the rest of the week and see if i experience any withdrawl symptoms. but the main point of me doing this is to fill myself up with the love of God(and some extra time in the process); besides, my thumbs callouses are pissing me off slightly.

ykno, Ecclesiastes 1 is pretty much true; nothing has changed since then; consumerism thinks that we need to keep filling our eyes and ears with so much stuff to be happy; YOU WON'T BE; life is meaningless. soloman was onto something. pleasure in this life is like chasing after the wind. the eye has never had its fill of seeing, the ear never its share of hearing. so all you can do is cling to God, through whom all blessings flow.

Look! Peace in the Middle East is occurring! :D

i'm gonna close today with this:

If I could write one letter to the world as we know it
I would list these rhymes that mean everything to me
Heartache temporary
Bullets only stop your blood
Pain will live on and on, in everyone
We could change it down

And we could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost one's
We could re-write history
If only you and me

The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway?
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

Amberlin- Change The World

i really like Psalm 51; this is the psalm of a contritefully sorry God-seeking man; i remember reading it during this sunday's communion, and it stuck in my mind so much that i have made the link to it permanently available at the top of my page next to all the other bible verses of mine. i will, and suggest to you, that the next time you feel like you're sorry for sinning against God, but don't know how to express it, go back and read this psalm again.

the other verse that has intrigued me to link it has been 2nd Chron 30:18-20; i read it today; this is an account of Judah during the reign of Hezekiah, when Israel had been wiped off the face of the map... Hezekiah had invited Judah and the remnants of Israel to come to Jersusalem to hold a nationwide passover, since one had not been held since 200 years... a minority of Israel, those who had acknowledged idolatry for the punishment of Israel, and were true followers of God, came... granted, these people didn't have time to consecrate themselves for the passover, and were thus ceremonially unclean. however, hezekiah prayed to God on behalf of them, and i liked what he said here, as basically he reminds God that he looks at the heart and not the ceremony; God obviously remembered that and thus acknowledged the few which came from Israel as one of them; in fact, we see in the next chapter that as soon as the celebration was over, those that came from Israel themselves went to the tribes of Benjamin, Judah, and the 2 tribes of Joseph and rid ALL all the idolatrous objects there were; proof that the inside not only matters, but is often reflected on the outside.

not many of you would probably care about this, but i found out that mercury levels of fish that we eat today aren't necessarily safe; it's only cause not many people whore fish that we pay attention... but basically, in reader's digest, i found out that you shouldn't whore the large fish as much as you would like; the bigger the fish, the more higher their mercury content; mercury has a high chance of messing up your nervous system and making you lose your hair; sometimes death results... but no, don't take this as an excuse not to eat fish :D it's just that you need to eat the big stuff a LOT more sparingly; go easy on the sharks and swordfish, as well as fresh tuna, for instance; for me, even though i like fish, i tend to concentrate upon the small guys; my faves are trout, catfish, seafood, and salmon, so no worries for me there.

it's too bad that modern-day society only teaches you that the only thing to life is being happy and having as much as possible; just like last year, the more i dive back into the spiritual disciplines the more i shun the way mainstream consumerism works.

MLB all-star game tonight(i think); go bonds!

MSH thanos:
sj.dn.roundhouse\/d.s.jab->s.short->s.strong(2 hits)->c.forward/\sj.dn.roundhouse(OTG)\/c.strongXXsoul inf combo,d.c.short->c.strong/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXfierce rush
(one heck of a style combo, and unlike all the other combos he has, is much skill; 16 hits, ~80% damage)

me, tim, jerm, jon, and louis more or less got wes into cs yesterday at jerm's house before and after our bbq... haha... see, wes? cs can be fun! louis had me dying though when he started acting like a punk and flashing wes when they were on the same team whenever a new round started, buying and throwing them on the ground repeatedly... then hearing wes shout "you punk!" or something to that extent in the adjacent room had me rolling on the bed laughing... that of course makes wes run out only to be awped down by tim, leaving a self-blinded louis left on the field for easy pickings... and the fact that i have such an unorthodox cs setting on laptop is sometimes way too funny; when wes started playing on my laptop, you could see him yelling "bomb's here!" and hitting c-6 all over the place, since i have those hotkey'd... then louis starts getting annoyed and yelling back "you don't even know where the bomb is!" louis is way too funny sometimes... and i still can't believe his parents ALWAYS eat at formosa now! the way louis says it is just too funny! "so much variety!" i still regret how none of us even remembered to call up justin; he DID want to come to our bbq; sometimes i wish we'd hang out with him a lot more; he IS, after all, my cousin...

aware of how much crap you hear on the radio on the secular music stations lately? i'm pretty sure you are... or what type of shallow morals mainstream consumerism places upon us?

chevelle - send the pain below

having done with the "solitude" chapter, i have to remind myself, how far have i gone along this discipline? i rarely talk, but often, when i talk, i still don't say meaningful stuff... and that is a problem; solitude isn't about not talking, it's about listening, and only saying meaningful stuff, making your yes be yes, and you no be no, and not only do i have this problem of not saying meaningful stuff, this is something the mainstream society doesn't concentrate upon; we HAVE to talk, and when we do, we have to fill that thing called our ears with as much noise from our tongue as we can. that's not necessary. we act like we have to justify everything we do with the tongue; unnecessary; God will justify us. there is definitely some things that come to you from God that only occur when you are alone inside and outside. i'm believing more and more now that God is not just a god of words; he is also a god of sights, sounds, feelings, intuition, etc... and i would like to be able to experience the "dark night of the soul"

ok, not much has happened since i last wrote stuff down.

saturday:
worship practice; then some discipline stuff w/bob later in the day. i felt that i wasted the day other than those other highlights; i didn't songwrite, wasted the entire day playing video games, and for dinner, pizza hut is so crappy now; my mom thinks that they don't even use real cheese, and i thought they used too little. round table's garlic chicken though is awesome, and worth every cent you buy; mom agrees there.
speaking of which, maybe it's me, but i feel everytime i worship w/the other guys, i feel like i can't hear my electric guitar; maybe i'm too self-centered, or too shy, or that it would sound different if i were in the pews, or maybe it's the pickup itslef, but i feel that maybe others should be able to hear me more; i do realize if i just heard ALL distortion, then nothing else would be heard, but i feel like i can hear everybody else, except for me; it's of course a minor detail for worship in the name of God, but... ykno...
discipline; i think one of the things that intrigued me that i remembered concerning studying the outside events, is this: do we need to? yes and no was what i thought to bob: we should always be prepared to be gone at any moment, so it's unnecessary to be watching, but at the same time, it'd be kinda ignorant to ignore the signs of the times; granted, no one knows the exact time jesus will come back, but you need to keep alert sometimes, ykno? also, remember; studying nature isn't too far from studying God; maybe that's why i have such a STRONG love for biology; chemistry, i feel is a dry science(again, this is just me); but biology IMO teems with life; you wanna see biology in action? go outside, and look at the birds, the beautiful creatures that God made; biology isn't just a science, it's creation in action, and that's maybe what inspires me the most about it.
worship practice we did "in the secret" which is interesting, cause i'm remixing that song my way; it is THIS close to being done, i just need to edit when i get the chance.

sunday:
communion was kinda funny; pdan gave some saying about how we should "ignore the bitterness of the cup, and concentrate on the fragrance of jesus" why'd he do that? cause we actually drank WINE for the cup... imagine that! i chuckled after i drank it, cause it was sweet, then suddenly turned bitter, but it's all good, it was just a small amount. btw, mulling on the bread and cup, 1st corinth says the bread is Jesus' body which is broken for you, and the cup is the covenant in Jesus; this would make sense why Jesus asked those disciples who wanted to be the greatest if they were willing to drink the cup, but didn't say anything about taking the bread; the bread is the salvation, the act of Jesus dying on the cross, the cup is sorta the aftermath of that; the covenant, which similar to wine, is both sweet, and bitter; sweet because you now have the fellowship of Jesus with you wherever you go, but also bitter, because you must deny yourself, take up the cross, and be willing to go through fire. i feel so stupid that i finally got this insight today, when i've been reading that passage all my christian life; it's true though. think about it; jesus never asked if you were able to take the bread; we've all taken the bread; it's whether you can drink the cup.

sunday school; i think i have really taking a liking to daniel and revelation now; seeing the signs of the endtimes; kinda interesting how i heard tim ask a buncha questions too; we're all growing, and actually willing to pay attention to God now. so far, the most evident thing we see of the antichrist would be his false covenant with the jews; it will be for seven years, but midway he will break it and begin to persecute them; this was minutely demonstrated by the greek ruler, but it will be in a magnitude far greater than we can imagine in the future. also, the other main telltale signs are that he will be seen as near dead, or dead, from a fatal wound, but survive it. there will be 1 prophet of his that goes around and has the authority to kill all who refuse to obey him; there's a bunch more, and it really intrigues me.

uh, i'll songwrite tomorrow; the guys are having a bbq/cs lan party today, so... yeah... that'll prob eat up most of my time today.