i remembered that there were some new testament verses in the bible that jesus said about plain honest speech; mainly, letting your yes be yes and your no be no, so i decided to add that to the bible links i had up there(sometimes we can be so flaky, so i want that verse to be easily referenced by me that i might never forget it; i am very tempted to point fingers at who doesn't keep their word, but sometimes i do it too, so i'll leave it at that); there was one i found in james, but i thought the one found in matt 5:36-37 was better, although i find the thought of james the person interesting; here's why; he was jesus' biological younger brother. imagine that; now i'm not too sure how many siblings jesus had, but i'm sure james wasn't the only one. still, imagine what it would be like to be james; jesus is your brother, and yet, also creator of the heavens and the earth! so on one point, he is totally in line with you, but on another token, he is beyond anything you are. also, correct me if i'm wrong, but james ended up believing in jesus AFTER he died and rose again. i'm sure most of us younger siblings often feel proud of our older siblings(you have NO IDEA how much i admire my bro, who is about 8 years older than i am), but imagine what it would've been like to be james... it boggles my mind...

(on a side note, it's strange concerning older and younger siblings, how most of my closer friends are all older siblings of their respective families...)

i wonder how the idea that jesus would come from the line of david makes sense; you realize that joseph never had any sexual relations with mary before she became pregnant(cue bill clinton's "i did NOT have any sexual relations with that woman"); but then again, it's understandable; to say that the savior would come from mary's lineage would sound kinda disgracing, since the jewish people at the time placed great emphasis on men. to be anal though, you'd have to say that the messiah would come from mary. still, the prophesies aren't really UNTRUE; you realize that joseph DID come from the line of david, and jesus WAS joseph's son... in a way, you could say joseph adopted jesus from the holy spirit, and thus the savior DID come from the family line

close to 2 chapters from finishing Celebration of Disciplines; i know it looks like i'm concentrating too much on finishing the book to pay close attention, but sometimes i feel tedious note-taking ruins the fun of reading; the hours just get eaten... so once i'm done i'll go back and reread to really get it... i realize one HUGE temptation of reading this book is to say "oh i didn't do discipline 'x' like Foster said!" but really, if you just have Christ guide you, everything'll be alright; one thing that DOES concern me is how i sometimes am not too sure God is speaking to me; God is not just a god of words, and so that leaves some mystery in how he communicates with us; but i'll pray about it, and ask that he might continue to help me hear him out; hey, it'll heighten my worship experience! :D

jeremy camp - take my life

HERE I AM BEFORE YOU NOW
LIKE A CHILD I'M REACHING OUT
HERE I AM I'M GIVING ALL I CAN
BREAKING MY PRIDE I FEEL I'M THROUGH
SHATTERED INSIDE I RUN TO YOU
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

TAKE MY LIFE
TAKE MY MIND
TAKE MY SOUL
TAKE MY WILL
I AM YOURS NOW AND I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE MY KING
OFFERING ALL MY EVERYTHING
LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE THE I ONE I SERVE
I CAN UNDERSTAND THE REASONS WHY
YOU CAME ON THIS EARTH AND DIED
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

I CAN FEEL YOU ON MY SHOULDER
SO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE
I CAN SEE YOU PAINT MY PICTURE
THE BEAUTY IS ALL THERE

today's engrish.com cracked me up a bit; if i wasn't in a library i'd be laughing my @$$ off:
it's a woman wearing a sweatshirt that says "no guy will ever fancy me"
(ugh! you drive a hard bargain!)

i read up to ch 20 of job today, and i'm starting to feel that maybe people who don't understand why God feels so far away when good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people should read this book. the student bible i have that phil gave me had a good insight in it concerning the book, but i kinda wanna look at that later, but what surprised me was the coming across of this extremely high-hoping thought by job, even when he was in the midst of his greatest despair:

Job 19:25-27
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him with my own eyes-I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

it appears that people make the misconception that good people prosper, and bad people suffer IN THIS LIFETIME; that was the big mistake of job's 3 friends. but it's not true; what IS true is that that justice only gets served after the end of the world has come about. no wonder why there's such a misconception amongst the secular society that many people will go to heaven cause they've been a "fairly good person"
another thing you'll notice about job is that the best advice you can give to a suffering person is simply to sit in compassionate silence; look at the damage that was done by job's 3 friends! i keep seeing how job constantly asked his friends, "why aren't you being supportive?"

man, i haven't read robin cook's stuff in a long time; so when i tried to today, i was a bit confused for a while seeing all the medical jargon he uses; at least i was intelligent enough to know the procedure he was describing at the beginning was the process of cloning by nuclear transfer...

i'm sorry, i meant what cell phones were better... but more or less you can still throw your inputs out...

today's verse of the day:

1st John 2:17
The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever

it never occurred to me just how meaningless the secular life is; i fall victim to it too; like i wasted a TON of time today just marvelling at how i can now do the full 4-hit chain for Psylocke's air combo in MSH today cause of some special setup i found out; and then a voice inside my head hit me; "is that all you can lean on for substanence?" i mean, really, what gives? maybe i really should get back to what my life should be all about... what i intended my summers should be all about...

wow... my mom surprised me by asking me what cell phone deals were better yesterday; i asked why; she said she might be considering to getting me one; so if you guys have any deals you think are good, throw em out on the comment link below; i'm all ears

it's wes' bday today!(kinda makes me wish i had about 30+ already recorded .mp3s, then i could just give him a USB drive for his bday; one chock full of those 30+ songs, that is)

man, i should've gotten up earlier today; i could've gone to CTCC and helped out w/their VBS...

something that confounds me is how some ppl APPEAR to look pumped up for christ during school days; then they come back, and everything looks unchanged... like why the heck do you keep showing up late for church, as well as joining the youth during sunday school, instead of the young adults? i thought you were refined! where's the deeds portion of your faith?

its amazing how sometimes ppl you THINK you know surprise you by paying attention in sunday school, and showing interest

j.forward->j.fierce\/d.c.jab->c.fierceXXqcb+2k,c.short(otg)->c.fierce/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.forwardxxqcb+2k

sometimes i just wanna be left alone w/God... let me muse in my own thoughts, and let the holy spirit whisper things into my ears; don't bother me or call me up during these times; you ruin the potential there; you and your gotta-always-do-things-in-a-rush-w/others-mentality...

i started on JOB today; i'll comment later tonight or tomorrow...

newest find on the web for me today(will add it to the links sometime later):

Shareware Music Machine

this site's great for songwriters and stuff; you can find all the freeware and shareware music software stuff you ever need, more or less, to record or have fun, music-wise; very useful; chances are, it's linked somewhere here. one of the gems i found yesterday was the Audio Phonics Guitar Tuner; a freeware guitar tuner software program that is IMO THE best guitar tuner i've ever used; just plug either a mic or cable into your sound card, open the program and pluck the guitar strings; the program can even read octaves higher or lower so the correct key isn't a problem. it can even save special key preferences(like if you like playing with 1/2 step down from a drop D a lot); the 1st time i used it, i was surprised just how sensitive the tuner is... personally, i already have a tuner, but this makes it a LOT more convenient if i'm tuning at home; no need to unplug my whole guitar setup, plug into the tuner, just to tune it; all i need to do is just open the program...

i was surprised to see how the discipline of servitude extends beyond the act of serving; more or less any act which puts others first is an act of serving; listening to others, holding others in high regard by not gossipping, etc, are all excellant ways of being a servant... even letting yourself be served is an act of serving(you're recognizing spiritual authority, hence serving others)

joe's belated bday dinner was cool; we went to frankie, joannie, and luigi too! i'm still not really used to ground beef into tomato sauce; the whole thing tastes pretty salty! i had the veal parmigiana from last time... so that was good...

western conference comments on my fave teams there:
looks like minnesota's gonna be formidable again... spree, cassell, KG... i dunno what you did in minnesota phil, but i love it!
spurs... are always gonna be spurs... i hope they counter lakers again this year... go ginobili and duncan!
hope the best for kings, and warriors, as always...
(i hope they broadcast US bball on local TV when it comes up...)

james 2:14,17-19,26; added to my list of bible verses; seriously, it is that important; james emphasizes the important of faith WITH deeds; of course, deeds by itself is legalism... but it is hard to see faith without deeds... it really is...

dude... i just came across the most coolest-looking fender stratocastor picture today when i was venturing in my bro's room; phil has MOUNDS of books/mags for guitars, and in one of the mags, i saw this full-page picture of a completely CLEAR, SEE-THROUGH fender stratocastor(i'll have to show you a pic of it bob); it's beautiful; it was originally worth $1,000, but now it's probably worth 50x+ more than that now! it was the one they showcased to introduce the fender to the guitar world...

oh yeah, i read in reader's digest of how maybe the view of a soul isn't so far-fetched, medically-wise; there were reports of people who were in surgical procedure; brain-dead, but somehow they had an out-of-body-experience and could see themselves being operated upon; doctors still don't buy it, and i'm not surprised; "if they will not even believe moses, then they will not believe when someone rises from the dead" was something jesus said during his life on earth. if you wanna google this, the term used is called "near death experience," or NDE

i thought after MJ left the Wizards that i'd finally ditch my loyalty to them; boy was i wrong; Arenas(damnit! he values money over loyalty) is going to Washington... we will miss you, Gilbert... we really will...

so instead, GSW picks up Speedy Claxton from SAS... i dunno... i believe he's not going to be as good as arenas, but he WAS a good help during game 6 of the finals(parker was of surprisingly NO help during game 6)... bob, you're a spurs-warriors fan, what'd you think?

esther is done... strangely, of all the books in the bible that i have read front to back, this one seems to have no credit to God... it's maybe only implied, and you realize that the jews that refused to go back to jerusalem(remember the 70 years of exile had been over by this time, since Cyrus was the one who liberated the jews, and the reign after him led to Xerxes, the king in this book) and stayed back in persia were more concerned about money and position than God himself. esther also apparently had no concern for being married to a pagan king who apparently treated esther more like a toy than a human being. however, it goes to show how God does watch over his people, even when they don't even know their own father or have their priorities straight... ever notice how well israel is doing compared to its other middle eastern neighbors recently? it's not picture-perfect, but still a lot better...
i don't wanna elaborate on anything more, cause the story almost feels more like a legend than an actual document; it is true though, cause it has been backed up...

this is the discipline of submission, in a nutshell:
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)
and let's remember this: self-denial is not hating yourself; it is putting someone else, mainly God, first, then the people you come in contact with everyday, and then yourself

today's engrish.com cracks me up... homo soap... that's one thing you shouldn't drop in the bathroom! :D

haha... is this me you guys?

Neurotic

read the bio and see how much he and i am related; no, i insist this is NOT me... but look at his bio and what i say about myself in person, especially how he songwrites; pretty similar huh? (i'm gonna have to dl his songs sometime when i get back to school)

looking further at the google searches w/the same name, so many ppl doing successful stuff; UCLA, princeton, driving beemers, and yet look at me... though God would say otherwise

oh yeah; the very first link for a google search for jerm's full first and last name brings up a doctor under the dept of biosci and biotech... lucky boy...

sometimes the human reaction to unfortunate circumstances leads us to just act incredibly weird; we dispise our circumstances, then we begin to hate ourselves, hate God, hate whatever we can think of for the upbringing of our current circumstances, other people... anything that we somehow think is connected to our circumstances... what we all gotta do is just stop, admit your faults, and come back to God, trusting him, then just forget your frustrations and worries, and then thank God...

confronting your fears is perhaps the only way you're ever gonna have release from any anxiety which stems from it...

ok... nehemiah's done, onto esther...

praise night was fun... it was small, there were some people whom i wished should've went, but didn't(wrong priorities, maybe?), but in the end, it did what all praise/prayer nights should've done; set aside a night for intercessory prayer and praise... some of the songs were slow, but i had no big deal with it; when YOU'RE the one leading, nothing's boring(mainly cause i got to pick and fool around with ways to play each song)... although i LOVED the way we transitioned from the 2nd to last song to the last song...

the missionary which spoke on sunday was very intriguing... what i found interesting was how different groups HAVE different views of things... if someone had offered to pay for all the expenses i would need to pay for sending someone to mission school, i would be estatic... but he made a point how the others didn't, simply because they found it was a way they could connect; sacrifice for them meant happiness; which is weird, cause often we're taught that it's not a good thing. he also had a LOT of funky stuff he got... i wouldn't want to get stung by those ants, or get shot by a 7-ft long arrow w/poison on the end... his sermon-message was that if God is really ours, how come we keep straddling the line? or as paul put it, why are we lukewarm? God isn't calling us to be lukewarm and just dump cotton on his foundation; give your best, and lay the best of your life upon it, or don't bother at it; you would've been better off not knowing God and not giving anything at all than being a lukewarm christian and just giving SOME of your all.

i remember hearing these lyrics yesterday on AIR1(still haven't figured out who wrote it, going by the air1 charts):
"don't you know that we are listening for whispers, when we cannot hear the screams/the sun is blinding us and still we look for matches"

Free Ice Cream from Cold Stone

so... anybody wanna visit Valley Fair July 24th w/me? they have Cold Stone... let's raid the place! :D

man, i am sweaty right now; i think i'll go take a shower before i head back to church... worship practice was fun though, and i didn't even know jerm's cousins play the guitar now! the reason i'm sweaty is cause i decided to try to shoot some hoops at farley while janet's team was practicing and bob's team was off...

later guys...

alright, so like i said i would, i read half of nehemiah today; i wanted to finish ALL of it, but it was slightly longer than usual, and i grew tired taking notes, so i'll just finish tomorrow morning... or end up finishing it sunday afternoon, since i may actually get to finish my .mp3 project tonight or tomorrow morning(i seriously wonder if i'm ever gonna finish 3 songs like i wanted this summer though; seems the more i dive into the project the more things i can find wrong sounding with it, it mainly has to do with the fact that i can never get the bass sounds to come out right, but there's other issues, and the more i see them i'm reluctant to finish; uh, hm, i need to pray about this)... anyways:

the 1st half of the book more or less talks about how nehemiah made the journey back to jerusalem to help his people rebuild the wall of jerusalem; think of its importance this way; having a strong, protected wall would keep raiders, robbers, other races out; and since the wall was weak, israel's religion was easily being diluted as the jews didn't feel safe and thus married to other races, and thus slowly began losing their touch of God. now, more or less, the book follows from the perspective of nehemiah. he is seen as a person who is in power, but constantly asks God for help; in fact, for the petition to the persian king, he first put up a prayer to God before asking him, and it worked. also, he is seen as a remarkable leader; when the bordering politicians looked to try to impede the wall-rebuilding progress, by force, he was able to reorganize the workers and spur them on, telling them to be strong and fight for God; apparently nehemiah never separated religion from action. he was also wise enough to see through the personal plots by the politicians on his life, and later, his reputation; while you can find out more by reading chapters 1-6, i think i will elaborate on something new i saw; they tried intimidation one way; by sending him an unsealed letter saying that it could be possible that he was trying to revolt and set himself up as king, then encouraging him to meet with them. obviously it was an attempt on his life, but basically, and unsealed letter meant anyone could read it, which was part of the intimidation; again, he saw through it. then another time one of his associates told him that he knew people were plotting to assassinate him, and thus tried to convince him to go hide in the temple; this was an attempt not to kill him, but tarnish his reputation; i believe only Levites at the time could enter the temple; either that or maybe you can only enter on the Sabbath. but yeah, he saw all through it, and soon the temple was completed. i wish i have THAT resolve and wisdom to see what i wanted to do through.

the more i see it, when you have a slightly above-average height and are playing bball, and have the rock, you don't need flashiness to beat the opponent... although i will see whether this holds up as i play more; i mean i was doing good yesterday against sam, sarah and louis w/me, jerm and jon, but maybe that's cause they weren't guarding me THAT closely(enabled me to get a lot of good shots), and jerm and jon work as a team, making good passes, unlike selfish me(that'll be something i need to work on)... usually i can't figure out how to shake the opponent off of me when they guard me in my face... my spin move's still too unreliable, and frontal crossover's a no-no when you're that close... but then, mj didn't have a lotta ballhandling skills on offense; what made him so good was the shot itself, and the usefulness of the crossover to him, plus his footwork... as i read somewhere online, he beat opponents with his footwork, not his hands... his handwork all came from the shot itself... so maybe i'll just enter each game with that mentality... i still can't figure out how to shake people who are in my face though... i had two highlights yesterday, actually, make that three; one was a defensive monster swat at a shot(i will not comment here because i think it was so utterly funny you had to see it to believe it; jerm and jon were rolling on the ground), the other one was a stutter step right when i had the ball but immediately shifted left and shot the ball(will have to try that more; it worked like a charm), and the last one was a turnaround jumper in midair, like a 180...(so it wasn't a turnaround, then jump and shoot, i actually jumped with my back to the board, twisted myself around, then shot)

i will pray, and keep asking you God, for the desire to create my own songs of worship to show my love for you... please help me... grant me knowledge as to how to edit...

youth group's meeting at valley fair tonight; this should be fun...

and, more or less, i'm spending the entire day at church tomorrow; should also be fun...

wow... i am BREEZING through the old testament now, now that i'm actually trying... today's lesson from ezra; apparently, 70 yrs in exile DID make a difference. before the babylonians had carried off southern israel, the people of judah were fairly ignorant. God sent a buncha prophets, but they wouldn't listen, or heed or repent, you get the idea; judah was a stiff-necked people indeed. however, we see that in ezra, when the people came to ezra telling him how they were intermarrying with foreign peoples and worshipping their gods, that ezra breaks down and prays an intercessory prayer for them; they then all join ezra in mourning and agree to get rid of all their hindrances to God; but we saw that in Joshua right after all the stiff-necked egyptian israelites died off that a new generation full of zeal for God rose up. and so it seems with Christianity; a lot of the people who grow up in hardships are the ones who understand how awesome it is to be close with God; then a nation arises which doesn't suffer the same consequences and the like, and they fall, and so i'm beginning to see how MAYBE a little hardship isn't bad after all; it was good for the israelites...

next up; nehemiah for tomorrow...

go wish fatcheeks(joe) a BIG happy bday if you haven't yet...

i don't really like todd agnew's "this fragile breath" melodically, but i think the lyrics are so true:

I searched the world for a song that I could sing
Praise to my King, A gift that I could bring
But no music I found could compare to You
Not one could do Justice to Your glory
What are my songs compared to Yours

You speak with thunder and lightening
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer is this fragile breath
With each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more

I searched the world for a poem I could read
A rhyme that would bring Glory to my King
But no writing I found was worthy of
This God high above all other gods
What are my words compared to Yours

Sonicflood- Cry Holy:

Every sun and moon and star
All declaring who You are
We fall silent in amazement
Every word and deed of man
Every sea and grain of sand
All creation speaks
And now we sing to proclaim You majesty

Let the earth rejoice
Singing with one voice
Let the people cry
Holy holy Lord
Every creature sing
Praises to the King
All creation cry
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord

Every song sung on the earth
Will never capture all You worth
We fall silent in amazement
Let every humble heart now see
The beauty of Your majesty
All creation speaks
And now we sing to the King
Above all Kings

All creation proclaims Your majesty
Holy is Your name in all the earth
All creation proclaims Your majesty
And now we sing

forgiveness vs.vengence; the more you think about it, the more it's harder to see how you can be forgiving AND just; some people say you can be just and still forgive(ie punishing clinton by impeaching him but forgiving him); but really, if you had a hard of forgiving, you probably wouldn't punish them at all; think about it; an innner heart reflects an outward attitude; it's like only when you inner feelings of vengence have subsided, THEN you forgive them. so that doesn't really work. now, i'm not one to suggest it was a bad idea to execute the Nazis, or that we shouldn't go after saddam and his two sons(just reading an archive from TIME on the ruthlessness of his 2 sons pisses me off greatly), or osama; of COURSE we should go after them. as long as we set standards of right and wrong we need to uphold those standards. but i'm seeing how much harder it is to TRULY forgive someone if all you're concentrating upon is the punishment. am i wrong? or am i onto something?

i am trying to go about this day without even touching my capcom fighting games or cpu cs; consider it as a sort of fast, like daniel's; i want to see how much more i can get out of this day, as i often waste my time since i go overboard. maybe i should even extend it to the rest of the week and see if i experience any withdrawl symptoms. but the main point of me doing this is to fill myself up with the love of God(and some extra time in the process); besides, my thumbs callouses are pissing me off slightly.

ykno, Ecclesiastes 1 is pretty much true; nothing has changed since then; consumerism thinks that we need to keep filling our eyes and ears with so much stuff to be happy; YOU WON'T BE; life is meaningless. soloman was onto something. pleasure in this life is like chasing after the wind. the eye has never had its fill of seeing, the ear never its share of hearing. so all you can do is cling to God, through whom all blessings flow.

Look! Peace in the Middle East is occurring! :D

i'm gonna close today with this:

If I could write one letter to the world as we know it
I would list these rhymes that mean everything to me
Heartache temporary
Bullets only stop your blood
Pain will live on and on, in everyone
We could change it down

And we could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost one's
We could re-write history
If only you and me

The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway?
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

Amberlin- Change The World

i really like Psalm 51; this is the psalm of a contritefully sorry God-seeking man; i remember reading it during this sunday's communion, and it stuck in my mind so much that i have made the link to it permanently available at the top of my page next to all the other bible verses of mine. i will, and suggest to you, that the next time you feel like you're sorry for sinning against God, but don't know how to express it, go back and read this psalm again.

the other verse that has intrigued me to link it has been 2nd Chron 30:18-20; i read it today; this is an account of Judah during the reign of Hezekiah, when Israel had been wiped off the face of the map... Hezekiah had invited Judah and the remnants of Israel to come to Jersusalem to hold a nationwide passover, since one had not been held since 200 years... a minority of Israel, those who had acknowledged idolatry for the punishment of Israel, and were true followers of God, came... granted, these people didn't have time to consecrate themselves for the passover, and were thus ceremonially unclean. however, hezekiah prayed to God on behalf of them, and i liked what he said here, as basically he reminds God that he looks at the heart and not the ceremony; God obviously remembered that and thus acknowledged the few which came from Israel as one of them; in fact, we see in the next chapter that as soon as the celebration was over, those that came from Israel themselves went to the tribes of Benjamin, Judah, and the 2 tribes of Joseph and rid ALL all the idolatrous objects there were; proof that the inside not only matters, but is often reflected on the outside.

not many of you would probably care about this, but i found out that mercury levels of fish that we eat today aren't necessarily safe; it's only cause not many people whore fish that we pay attention... but basically, in reader's digest, i found out that you shouldn't whore the large fish as much as you would like; the bigger the fish, the more higher their mercury content; mercury has a high chance of messing up your nervous system and making you lose your hair; sometimes death results... but no, don't take this as an excuse not to eat fish :D it's just that you need to eat the big stuff a LOT more sparingly; go easy on the sharks and swordfish, as well as fresh tuna, for instance; for me, even though i like fish, i tend to concentrate upon the small guys; my faves are trout, catfish, seafood, and salmon, so no worries for me there.

it's too bad that modern-day society only teaches you that the only thing to life is being happy and having as much as possible; just like last year, the more i dive back into the spiritual disciplines the more i shun the way mainstream consumerism works.

MLB all-star game tonight(i think); go bonds!

MSH thanos:
sj.dn.roundhouse\/d.s.jab->s.short->s.strong(2 hits)->c.forward/\sj.dn.roundhouse(OTG)\/c.strongXXsoul inf combo,d.c.short->c.strong/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXfierce rush
(one heck of a style combo, and unlike all the other combos he has, is much skill; 16 hits, ~80% damage)

me, tim, jerm, jon, and louis more or less got wes into cs yesterday at jerm's house before and after our bbq... haha... see, wes? cs can be fun! louis had me dying though when he started acting like a punk and flashing wes when they were on the same team whenever a new round started, buying and throwing them on the ground repeatedly... then hearing wes shout "you punk!" or something to that extent in the adjacent room had me rolling on the bed laughing... that of course makes wes run out only to be awped down by tim, leaving a self-blinded louis left on the field for easy pickings... and the fact that i have such an unorthodox cs setting on laptop is sometimes way too funny; when wes started playing on my laptop, you could see him yelling "bomb's here!" and hitting c-6 all over the place, since i have those hotkey'd... then louis starts getting annoyed and yelling back "you don't even know where the bomb is!" louis is way too funny sometimes... and i still can't believe his parents ALWAYS eat at formosa now! the way louis says it is just too funny! "so much variety!" i still regret how none of us even remembered to call up justin; he DID want to come to our bbq; sometimes i wish we'd hang out with him a lot more; he IS, after all, my cousin...

aware of how much crap you hear on the radio on the secular music stations lately? i'm pretty sure you are... or what type of shallow morals mainstream consumerism places upon us?

chevelle - send the pain below

having done with the "solitude" chapter, i have to remind myself, how far have i gone along this discipline? i rarely talk, but often, when i talk, i still don't say meaningful stuff... and that is a problem; solitude isn't about not talking, it's about listening, and only saying meaningful stuff, making your yes be yes, and you no be no, and not only do i have this problem of not saying meaningful stuff, this is something the mainstream society doesn't concentrate upon; we HAVE to talk, and when we do, we have to fill that thing called our ears with as much noise from our tongue as we can. that's not necessary. we act like we have to justify everything we do with the tongue; unnecessary; God will justify us. there is definitely some things that come to you from God that only occur when you are alone inside and outside. i'm believing more and more now that God is not just a god of words; he is also a god of sights, sounds, feelings, intuition, etc... and i would like to be able to experience the "dark night of the soul"

ok, not much has happened since i last wrote stuff down.

saturday:
worship practice; then some discipline stuff w/bob later in the day. i felt that i wasted the day other than those other highlights; i didn't songwrite, wasted the entire day playing video games, and for dinner, pizza hut is so crappy now; my mom thinks that they don't even use real cheese, and i thought they used too little. round table's garlic chicken though is awesome, and worth every cent you buy; mom agrees there.
speaking of which, maybe it's me, but i feel everytime i worship w/the other guys, i feel like i can't hear my electric guitar; maybe i'm too self-centered, or too shy, or that it would sound different if i were in the pews, or maybe it's the pickup itslef, but i feel that maybe others should be able to hear me more; i do realize if i just heard ALL distortion, then nothing else would be heard, but i feel like i can hear everybody else, except for me; it's of course a minor detail for worship in the name of God, but... ykno...
discipline; i think one of the things that intrigued me that i remembered concerning studying the outside events, is this: do we need to? yes and no was what i thought to bob: we should always be prepared to be gone at any moment, so it's unnecessary to be watching, but at the same time, it'd be kinda ignorant to ignore the signs of the times; granted, no one knows the exact time jesus will come back, but you need to keep alert sometimes, ykno? also, remember; studying nature isn't too far from studying God; maybe that's why i have such a STRONG love for biology; chemistry, i feel is a dry science(again, this is just me); but biology IMO teems with life; you wanna see biology in action? go outside, and look at the birds, the beautiful creatures that God made; biology isn't just a science, it's creation in action, and that's maybe what inspires me the most about it.
worship practice we did "in the secret" which is interesting, cause i'm remixing that song my way; it is THIS close to being done, i just need to edit when i get the chance.

sunday:
communion was kinda funny; pdan gave some saying about how we should "ignore the bitterness of the cup, and concentrate on the fragrance of jesus" why'd he do that? cause we actually drank WINE for the cup... imagine that! i chuckled after i drank it, cause it was sweet, then suddenly turned bitter, but it's all good, it was just a small amount. btw, mulling on the bread and cup, 1st corinth says the bread is Jesus' body which is broken for you, and the cup is the covenant in Jesus; this would make sense why Jesus asked those disciples who wanted to be the greatest if they were willing to drink the cup, but didn't say anything about taking the bread; the bread is the salvation, the act of Jesus dying on the cross, the cup is sorta the aftermath of that; the covenant, which similar to wine, is both sweet, and bitter; sweet because you now have the fellowship of Jesus with you wherever you go, but also bitter, because you must deny yourself, take up the cross, and be willing to go through fire. i feel so stupid that i finally got this insight today, when i've been reading that passage all my christian life; it's true though. think about it; jesus never asked if you were able to take the bread; we've all taken the bread; it's whether you can drink the cup.

sunday school; i think i have really taking a liking to daniel and revelation now; seeing the signs of the endtimes; kinda interesting how i heard tim ask a buncha questions too; we're all growing, and actually willing to pay attention to God now. so far, the most evident thing we see of the antichrist would be his false covenant with the jews; it will be for seven years, but midway he will break it and begin to persecute them; this was minutely demonstrated by the greek ruler, but it will be in a magnitude far greater than we can imagine in the future. also, the other main telltale signs are that he will be seen as near dead, or dead, from a fatal wound, but survive it. there will be 1 prophet of his that goes around and has the authority to kill all who refuse to obey him; there's a bunch more, and it really intrigues me.

uh, i'll songwrite tomorrow; the guys are having a bbq/cs lan party today, so... yeah... that'll prob eat up most of my time today.

i think one of my definite pet peeves has to be when people talk to themselves... i almost get pissed at it... those people can seem so strange... hmm... prayer for me, and other people... i'm saying this cause there seems to be a regular chink kid at the saratoga library who ALWAYS talks to himself, and it gets annoying... he also snorts... probably only to me though cause i'm the only one who cares... *sigh*... flash prayers there... reminds me of allen wu when i was still in high school... that weird guy...

XvSF Magneto is so friggin fun to use; he may not be MVC2 Magneto, but you can still rack up high numbers, sometimes in guarenteed damage; i love this corner combo:
kick throw,c.short(OTG)->c.roundhouseXXhyper grav,c.fierce/\sj.roundhouseXXad.df.forward\/c.fierce/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXad.uf.jab->ad.uf.short->ad.uf.strong->ad.uf.forward->ad.uf.roundhouse

now that combo alone is strong enough to take off about say 40% on cyclops; i'm ballparking, but more or less if you do the combo twice(and it shouldn't be too hard, as after doing the combo you should be able to carry the opponent all the way into the other corner), the opponent has about 20% life left; there's also guarenteed magnetic tempest combos you can do with him, which are hard, but oh so damaging...

here's an ALMOST constant: younger siblings always turn out taller than their older siblings, ASSUMING they're the same sex

i should really go to bed earlier; everytime i go to bed late, i wake up late... what is better than getting up early to praise God in the morning? nothing!

that pain in my wrist will probably give new meaning to the words "worshipping God with all your might"; we shall find out later tonight if i can summon myself to continue doing what i WANT to do...

so the new gamepad i got for my cpu isn't bad; granted, it's 2 buttons short, but at least the directional pad works a HECK of a lot better... the buttons seem better too; it's a HECK of a lot easier trying to hit 2 buttons together at one time... i just need to wait til i get the other pad i have fixed... and then, HELLO, 2-player CPS2 gaming! :D a joystick would still be 100x better, but hey, this is still good...

doesn't it amaze you how many people you can turn off to yourself just by slipping the word "religion" into your dialogue? yet we're willing to immediately believe we somehow came from a derivative of the chimpanzee...

ok bob, i'm in the library as i'm typing this right now... i'm trying to flash prayer right now... (after coming back)i'm still concentrating on the "word" aspect of flash prayers all too often though; but i'll get better at it, and learn to flash pictures in my mind to God faster... i'll ask God about it; heh, funny, praying to God to ask how to pray... give me more tips on what you do when you flash-pray bob... like, as you're reading this at work, flash-pray right now... now come back and tell me what you did, i wanna learn more about this...

it's funny how the modern culture places such an emphasis around just surrounding yourself with as many things as possible; yet i bet all those things are MEANINGLESS; why? cause they're empty; that's why you need so many of them to fill you up; yet they don't fill you up; like trying to fill a holed foam cup with water, you have to keep pouring, and pouring, and pouring... the waterline gets nowhere, while the cup just keeps getting aged and aged... you get nowhere... what does it mean to discipline yourself in simplicity? it's not ascetism, and it's not whoring everything to yourself; it is being grateful for what you've got, but you could care less if you lost those things or not... obeying the 10th commandment can indeed be so friggin hard in modern-day culture... but it is worth every ounce...

ok, i'm gonna go; the library's closing; later...

perhaps the most important things to remember as a collegian are this: don't worry, and WAIT... remember this if you feel you are in grade trouble, or unsure exactly where you can go; i have to remind myself of this... for the 1st, go outside and look at nature; notice how the birds of the air and the various other creatures you see can just hang in there? you think God doesn't watch out for even more important beings? so chill; don't worry. the other... is a matter of patience; in today's high-tech society, a lotta times, we want everything NOW... you have to remember that God sometimes answers yes, sometimes no... and sometimes? it's WAIT... it's almost a sure thing that God has the best plan for everyone who believes in him and follows him... but sometimes you need to wait before he'll tell you... so remember; just hang in there...

philippoussis lost... damn... i can't believe how close he was to winning wimbledon... of course jerm is probably happy since philippoussis > agassi... i admit that downed me a bit too, but i do like philippoussis due to his nasty serve...

lesse... if you're looking for some good nostalgia CPU games, go download Jordan vs. Bird; One on One 2; i'd go dl it HERE: http://www.flashback-aw.net/games.php?GameID=1
i love this game; used to play it all the time; now i have it again :D bird is technically better, as he can shoot 3s in addition to playing D, but hey, it's MJ! is there any other reason? and now, i actually know how to use the "shift" key, so i can actually run across the court; pressing left or right w/o shift resulted in a slow-ass dribble; no wonder me and my bro always looked so funny trying to run past each other when we played :) nothing compared to LIVE 2K3 or Sega's NBA 2k3(Sega Sports' NBA 2K series are prob my favorite sports games), but it's still pretty good fun; basically, no spin moves, fadeaways, sideways fading jumpers and no crossovers, but you can do show and gos, pump fakes, and jab steps, as well as run, or just shuffle, so it's not bad; it's actually kinda fun, though sometimes the controls can seem sluggish...

so, this is the 1st time me and bob have met in the summer for discipline training; not bad... hope it keeps up. the important thing is that i practice what i learn... daily...

what else did i do today:

watched T3: what to say... first of all, it's not revolutionary in its ideas anymore(travelling back in time to alter the future isn't so big anymore), but it was enjoyable, in an action-packed way; seems though they were trying for the more comedic effect this time around; without giving any spoilers away, basically they make the T-800 seem a bit funny by it trying to be serious... also, by introducing a blonde female terminator they weren't trying to start anything revolutionary IMO; just induce more of the horny-laden crowd into the theater...

i borrowing the Matt Brouwer CD, so i'll end up listening to that maybe for 1 week...

uh, that's about it; i think i'll songwrite tonight; also, i bought some misc toys from fry's that i wanna try out; nothing really expensive though, just small stuff...

i'll write more tonight... or talk, what not... etc...

http://www.planetemu.net/php/emulateurs/compteurs/index.php3?id=kawakswin&url=http://www.planetemu.net/emulateurs/multi_arcade/winkawaks146.zip

http://www.planetemu.net/php/emulateurs/emulateurs.php3?cat=cps2

http://www.planetemu.net/php/roms/roms_bis.php3?cat=cps-2#

http://www.planetemu.net/php/roms/roms_bis.php3?cat=cps-2

one of the hardest things i think i would have to do regularly is worship God, only for God; i mean, how? how do you play out your heart, devoted only to God, especially when you're just a lead guitarist in a band or something like that, when you aren't muttering words, just striking strings? well, isn't worship basically praise of something? don't you usually praise something when you stand in awe of it? hence, why i'm starting to believe richard foster on that sense; you worship God when you begin to contemplate his works, which moves you into awe, hence leading you into worship. so that's the mindset i've been trying to get myself into lately right before every single worship session i have, public, or private, time-consuming, or just a break in front of my .mp3 collection in front of my laptop. i try to think of what God's done for me, what he's given me so far, how MUCH i have and how grateful i am for that, and i just sorta try to extend that feeling into whatever songs i play, rock or contemporary, fast or slow. it's not easy, and i'm still working on it, but it's the right way to do it.

i SO wanna be 7 ft now; just seeing how i can extend myself higher than the other guys when we were fooling around trying to dunk on the rim behind the 2 farley houses motivates me there. basically, there's a certain height where i can still 2-hand the rock in, where the other guys couldn't today; that was fun.

i'll just close with some thought; a while ago, one of my friends at MVHS at my christian club was discussing with me about different styles of worship, ie what is suitable, etc... i told him i was ok with whatever people could worship better with, as long as it was from the heart, he replied with this:
"some people do it for the Lord, but some people also don't do it for the Lord" or something like that, and i had to agree.

everyone's back... again... 4th of july weekend's over...

Take Me Away
-Lifehouse

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take you place
This time you burned me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away

I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

Far Away
-By the Tree

Well all my thoughts
And this confusion
Brings me down to this conclusion
That I'm a man of conviction
I've wasted time out of window panes
No place to go to recreate
The feelings that I have inside
When I spend time with you

We are never alone
Bringin' down angels today
His promises are true he's always
Closer than we're far away

T-t-t turn it up
I want to feel alright
Like a shining star
On a summer night
Heavy glow of rock and roll
Pumping through your stereo
Makes me want to sing

Jesus you give us a future
The plans God made
Are for hope and of love
Lord you're so good to us

"as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to its folly"

i remember KJ-52 saying something recently on Air1 about that verse; something about his dog always returning to roll in a buncha fish guts and getting messed up or something; they'd punish him, but he'd just come right back; God is calling you a fool if you keep going back to your sin; you're just gonna smell messed up; i'll quote him when i get the chance to relisten.

left pinky-toe hurts on the cuticle; seems like the free edge feels like it's being pulled up; feels better now though...

to be honest i have no idea if the gels i bought for the ball of my feet actually worked; my right foot didn't hurt, but i never put pressure on it; my left foot was aching though, but the strange thing is that when i took off my sock, the callous looked EXACTLY like before! so maybe it does work... although, you'd think it'd ease the pain...

i need to work on my ability to drive the ball in...

"in the secret" is THAT close to being done; just some editing issues i need to work out... otherwise everything's there...

and on that note;

recently i'm been thinking; once i start making money at an actual job, i will consider buying a lighter electric guitar on this count; i never jump around when i'm playing rhythm guitar on my fender; it's not that the fender's heavy and stuff, but i feel that i'm not emotionally expressing myself fully whenever i'm worshipping(everytime i try with the fender, i usually mess up my playing), and this minor, but accurate representation of how i feel when i'm playing upbeat worship songs would be nice... yet i do it whenever i'm just listening to music w/o a guitar on me, so that's why... and i've been to guitar center and seen how much lighter other electric guitars are; fenders aren't that heavy, but other guitars can be lighter, as the neck isn't made outta wood or something; besides, sometimes i feel that the fender guitar's tuning pegs are slightly loose...

and yes i still want a chorus pedal... phase shifter and 2-line fx pedal will also be nice, but i'd like a chorus pedal...

instead of typing a recap of some of the past days, i'm just gonna post a few thoughts on the fourth of july.

basically, time and time again, humanity has proved that trying to enforce a law, even if it is the GOOD law if you follow a certain religion, results in an antagonistic view towards that religion. the aztecans didn't like it when the spanish ran over them and tried to covert them; neither did the middle easterns like it when we ran over them... but getting back, that's hence the beauty of america, and why it is such a haven for christians more than any other place; you are free to practice whatever religion you choose; this is obviously bad in its own ways, as the law sees all religions as equal, when you're clearly opinionated not to believe so, but it's also good in its own way; besides, jesus saw that when you took religious practices and turned them into laws, they'd bring down people instead of hold them up. chinese people don't get that freedom, and let's not get started on the middle eastern countries whose official religion is "fundamentalist muslim"

that said, happy LATE fourth of july; celebrate your freedom to worship God

(happy EVEN later bday to luigi...)

man... stupid windows media player... stupid kazaa... basically, i wanted to dl "water" to play along to it on my guitar(i LOVE when the rhythm guitarist does XXX000x2, XXX000x2 in distortion in-between to transition from the chorus to the verse, or the verse to the chorus), but i don't have kazaa on my bro's cpu... so i dl it... and it turns out i need windows media player 6.4 or greater to install it(?)... no prob, i try to dl it... but stupid netzero keeps cutting me off everytime i try... it's really weird, and pissing me off... eh, bob, could i just borrow your matt brower CD whenever we finally decide to meet and rebegin Celebration of Discipline?

i actually watched more wimbledon today... since i do somewhat like tennis due to its fast pace... it's still a highclass sport though, so it peeves me how everybody MUST shut up when they're playing... so in between each point the crowd raves for a bit, claps, then... clamours down? anyways, here's what struck me:
grosjean wins over henman in the 4th set... i think he was the better player myself; henman is all net-play, but grosjean hits harder, and has a stronger serve... it pretty much came down to henman charging the net and grosjean staying back...
also, philippoussis won over popp... i love philippoussis... he's a good baseline player, slow sometimes, but man, watching him today, he's got my respect... those black obirigenese genes must be something... his serve is SO good... basically, he was down 15-40 in one round(tennis rounds go love, then 15, then 30, then 40, *advantage if necessary if both players are at 40 and one gets the point* and then game), and so he ACED 4x in a row to win the round... so that was 4 uncontested serves one right after the other... THAT'S amazing IMO... he mustve gotten 33+ aces that match... the other guy got only 12 or something... the other highlight i remember was him DIVING to volley the ball over and win the point...

later guys...

bob, i just saw this link during one of the ads on top of your blog:
Gospel Video Games

haha... funny eh? are we gonna go around converting heathens?

dr scholl's ball-of-foot gels:
$5.49 @target
not too bad; i think i'll get them; at least they look like they'll fit; i think this is what i need; my heel's fine; my ball on my left foot though, is anything BUT fine... there's something beautiful about looking at your callous though when it forms on the ball of your foot; looking at the way your footprints swirl around... touching it and realizing you have no nerves bordering that skin, hence why you can't feel pain there... it's in a way, mezmerizing, to know how God created it like that... on the subject, i have been feeling less pain in the area now, thanks... time to start up bballing again...

i was originally gonna buy an adapter from radio shack that converts my 4 button gamepad to a usb port, but it costs $15.49; consider that with the fact that i saw a 6 button gamepad @fry's for 6.50, and you do the math... i was mainly wanting to get this so that maybe i can get challenged on puzzle fighter more when i bring my laptop around, but i still need to get my other gamepad replaced... i'll go buy it sometime...

btw radio shack isn't a bad place for me to window shop; you see, i'm always kinda thinking of ways to improve my connections from electrical recording equipment to my laptop, so going here always gives me ideas... like a y-adapter, etc... playing rhythm guitar, recording that, then having to record my vocals separately isn't very satisfying, even if it's more accurate than recording the 2 at once; so what i think i'll need is a mic, plus a stand... also, i might want a guitar stand, since putting the guitar back in the case does seem to somewhat mess up the tuning occasionally

1st chron talks about david's life much like the way the US talks about our heroes; it blows them up; no, there's no lies in 1st chron, but you notice how all the bad things about david aren't talked about; half-truths, if you might call them that... although israel did need some inspiration at the time; it was written when the exiles were returning to jerusalem; as i'm reading, i'm just not taking notes unless something really stands out between it and 2nd samuel.

chorus fx pedal, phase shifter fx pedal, maybe one of those pedals which changes the line? eh, my wish list just gets bigger and bigger each day; i admit they're not necessary for happiness(thou shall not covet, remember?), but having them wouldn't hurt, ykno?

T3's out today... THE MACHINES WILL RISE... wait a few days, then maybe ask whether some of the other guys would like to see it w/me... NO, i don't think it'll be THAT good... YES, i am going to see it, just cause it's the terminator, and i've grown up on the terminator *reminisces about the good ol days w/sam*

sometimes, it's so annoying going through the bible; i just finished 2nd kings, and the chronicles don't look any more exciting than the kings; it's more or less just more rehashing+numbers of records, although i know every book in the bible has special purposes; chronicles was meant to inspire those people who came back from exile. i can't wait til i get to daniel... that'll be some fun times... trying to figure out his visions...

i think i'm not even gonna talk about whether or not i can finish "in the secret" tonight anymore; i'll just post when i'm done. basically, yes, it is ALMOST done, but who knows whether i decide to edit it even more to make the sound even better? i still think overall it's been a good job; just need to add a riff, and maybe edit the drums and vocals to make them stand out? it's not chock-full of riffs, but i think when going for the alternative rock sound here, simple isn't a bad idea; i tried adding fillers, but they kinda cloud out the rhythm guitar instead of complement it. you do have to remember that i want it to sound like some alternative rock rehash, which is why i'm trying to put more emphasis on the heavy distorted guitar, the snare drums, uh, etc... maybe i need a bass guitar... just playing w/the low strings of an electric doesn't quite give it the boost i need...

hmm... vitamin D may have more disease-preventive power than we think! according to the recent issue of reader's digest, D may be able to prevent colon cancer, osteoperosis, diabetes, and more; it's still not OFFICIAL i believe, but heck, when they say just 10-20 min, unprotected in the sun per day, that's not much to ask, eh? not to mention milk's fortified w/vitamin D anyways... geez, does this mean all the short, possible pale, asian girls i know are gonna snap their bones in half or something at 40? eh...

i've just realized recently, and i'll write it down now, that david and sam's brotherhood towards each other is looking funnier and funnier each passing day... reminds me of jon and louis, to some extent... and i can't believe how frikkin small sam is! i remember last year, during CTCC's youth group senior night, when we put sam in a luggage bag and zipped it up so only his head showed... and in another incident that day, when sam fell asleep, david picked him up and carried him into the living room... then when i played bball against him and david last friday, all i had to do to block his shot was walk up to him! :D or at least deny him a good chance that he'd make a good shot

i think it'll be some bballing later today, maybe visit radio shack, and work on my songs later this night... i SO wanna make a psalm 23.mp3! that is a good song... i just need to not get caught up playing puzzle fighter and CS-aimbot tonight! :D laterz

i'm gonna have to remind myself to update my list of favorite songs; there's a couple i'm liking lately:
ALL of sanctus real's songs(except for i love you)
your steadfast love? not too sure about the title; did sonicflood write this one? nevertheless, i like this worship song; the chorus is pretty much just "your steadfast love, is better than life" or something like that.
michelle branch- are you happy now
avril lavigne- losing grip
by the tree- far away
sonicflood- cry holy

i liked today's lesson in sunday school; more exploration into daniel; and thankfully, i now have a MUCH clearer picture of the visions that daniel had. the one question i'd really like answered though, is, "does the rapture occur BEFORE the tribulation?" that concerns me, cause in all honesty, i'm quite afraid of what type of final sacrifice God wants from some of his people... how will those persecuted die?

now, apparently, my bro said a while ago, they're essentially the same things as a flanger, but i really would like the chorus and phase-shifter pedals; chorus pedals would be nice for when i don't wanna play in hard distortion, but don't wanna hear any fuzz at ALL... it's good for verses in songs... phase-shifter is just fun... and i'd like to know exactly what it does more... in fact, i'd like to know what some of the other effects pedals do... like what a compressor does, etc.

only mandy and lydia showed up for church... no laura, none of the guys... strange... nobody likes CTCC anymore :( or me...

later, i'll write later.

sat:
giants beat a's, 8-7, 10 inning, bottom. which is amazing, cause they were down 5, then 6 to 0 somewhere in the middle of the game. then bonds starts with a single run homer, followed by a HUGE 5 run to tie the game. go bonds!

my 1st day back as a worship team member... and like the past they were asking me to do riffs again :D i need more practice; the only guitar playing i've been doing are power chords so far.

sometimes, i wonder just how much friends change over the duration of 4 years in college... i bet when we all get together again, there's a good chance we won't have the same closeness we feel right now... but hey, if you're true friends, you'll be friends no matter how far you are separated, right?

some biblical thought i think you guys might be interested in:
i'm currently going through the kings right now, as far as my journey to read the entire bible sometime has been going along. omri and jeroboam II were both considered to be northern israel's strongest kings, although all of the kings did NOT follow God wholeheartedly. interestingly, omri's son turns out to be ahab, the worst king of israel. and jeroboam? lemme backtrack with this:
during the course of ahab's reign God promised elijah that he would set up 3 people to destroy the wicked, baal-worshippers in israel; hazael, the king of aram, jehu, a would-be king of israel, and elisha. so when elijah is taken to heaven, elisha is faced w/the task of anointing jehu as the king of israel, faced with the mission to destroy all of ahab's bloodline to avenge the dead prophets. now, jehu is interesting; he believed in God, but didn't follow him ALL THE WAY; he did though partially. because he carried out what God initially intended(the avenging part), he promised him that his descendants would sit on the throne to the 4th generation.
after Jehu's son's reign, jeroboam II became king. so interestingly, although jeroboam was NOT a pious king, he still hailed from a soldier of God. his son, would be assasinated, ending this family line.
i find that to be interesting, even the Bible says that God used Jeroboam to save the state of Israel. funny, eh? and also note, the 1st jeroboam(the 1st king of northern israel) was one of the worst, probably 2nd to ahab.

prayers would be appreciated for:
my left ball of my foot; there is in fact, a DOUBLE callous on it. i got it from my repeated high hops from playing bball... i consider myself a big man when i play, relative to the people i play against, that's why i've kinda trained myself to go for blocks and rebounds over steals. personally, i don't mind the appearance of callouses, but this one HURTS. underneath the slighly peeled-off callous, i can see the other callous formed.

i'll finish "in the secret" tonight... hit me up if you want it tomorrow.

i think more or less the way i put stuff in for this summer will be a week's recount per 2-3 weekly blogs.

anyways,

wed:
checked out the saratoga library, like i said. funny thing is, after talking to laura online at the library, i got her excited about checking it out. so she tells me she's gonna log off. i end up seeing her in the library about 15 min later :D there's also some funny incident about me reminding her what my home phone # is, but i don't wanna give away my phone number publicly online. ask if you're interested about that conversation though. also, i remember venting my frustrations about how i couldn't song-record properly to her and she was like "no, it's alright" but i said "NO, IT'S NOT!" so she came back with "fine, it's no good" :D
prayer meeting: i think it was long overdue; sam explained why he was who he was, and we in turn shared what we thought of it; it's not the end, but it's a good start to mending a friendship.

thurs:
i take laura to guitar center, heh heh, fun fun. let her listen to my sanctus real CD on the way there. uh, geez, the weather was a bit hot, but in my humble opinion, there's something refreshing about driving down a long stretch with warm wind blowing past you... laura didn't seem to like it though. uh, she didn't find the guitar she wanted there, but it's all good. haha... then we went downstairs to the electric guitar section, and i think laura now doesn't think electric guitars are THAT hard to pick up on now... i remember her saying it felt kinda light. best part going there? when i finally found the 18+ boss effects pedals all wired up in series, and no one's using them :D plugging in and just fooling around was like paradise there :D to be honest i'm more interested in effects pedals than electric guitars now, cause i'm not gonna be buying any new electric guitars anytime soon, and it's not like i have a good enough ear to tell the difference so far. but yea... i should go back sometime soon... i keep forgetting how fun it is just fooling around in guitar center... there's like a million things you can fool around with inside there... i know laura's not done guitar shopping, so i'll have an excuse to go back again...
mahjong when we get back... man, i forgot all my chinese numbers :D basically, i wasn't playing mahjong, it was lydia, heh. but i'm getting it more now. i have played in the past, but it was a vague idea of how to play. and eat some pies, heh heh. then swimming at jon's house. which was kinda neat. eat, and come back. but we didn't cs like we planned(grrr... tim, should've brought your cpu!). instead, i played 1 round of mahjong, while laura played w/my spider solitaire on my cpu(i kept trying to convince her to play w/my puzzle fighter, but she says she sucks at cpu games), but lydia decides to try to play, so that was kinda cool, playing puzzle fighter against lydia for a bit.

friday:
nothing much, really. i just remember working a LOT on my version of "in the secret" for most of the day, mainly cause all the takes that i did were screwed up, like in one area or another. (basically, the guys were supposed to call me so i could go w/the others to bureans to help lydia choose a new bible, but they didn't, so i just let that go and worked on my mp3 all day) and it didn't help that the upstairs area was very hot, so i felt sweaty, even w/o a shirt. it's almost done though, so that's the good part. i still wish the editing were a bit better though; it's hard to explain; basically, i can't get CD quality editing down; it still sounds a bit like it's live, except dumbed down. not at bassy as i would like. and my vocals still don't sound too well. drums COULD use some more work, if i wanted to make the volumes slightly more variated and realistic. none of you guys would be able to tell though. only me, and God. it annoys me though in that sense, cause worship is about YOU+your sacrifice, or your attitude+your gift. think cain and abel; your attitude is only 1/2 the picture. your gift obviously doesn't matter, but your gift CAN be a good indicator of your attitude. that's why. to have me get frustrated with my work and then go "aw screw it" IMO wouldn't please God. then again, there's only so much you can do. but for me, sometimes, i feel like if i just put a BIT more effort in, it would be better; motivating myself to go that extra step though, is hard.
youth group:
all i gotta say is i saw clement and sam BOTH lead worship... BOTH on acoustic guitars... nice job guys... for a first time you guys did great(not like both of them know my sn or anything)... next time i'll bring my guitar and try to help them out.
back @home late @night:
what the heck is jimmie fallon doing hosting late show w/david letterman? weird eh? aw well, well it was nice. one of the guests was the blonde villian for T3, which was nice.

finally:
i'm thinking maybe of at least TRYING to look for a job. i at first wasn't going to this summer, but then, i'm not doing anything anyways. and everyone else has stuff to do during the summer, so i'll be alone soon. at the worst, i won't get a job and will be able to have all the free time in the world. so y'kno... cause i might even gain some job experience if i find the right job. i'll have to think about it soon though.

ykno, just right now i took the time to read some of the other guy's blogs, since my cpu at home is so friggin slow... conclusions for some:(btw i have another blog for today, so you might wanna read that)

alice STILL writes like she's high class and must sound literate...
mandy... still CRAMS a buncha days into 1 blog... that is so bad, i just stopped reading... when i tried scrolling down, the saratoga cpu couldn't keep up :D plz, mandy, if you're reading this, write LESS! or hone up your writing skills! and hang out at church more! i never see you online or around anymore!
joe... haha... funny as ever, i pulled this off his website, which was a quote from a friend of his:
"your xangay...i mean xanga - entry about dating rocks. i do, however, suggest that you rename the Social Aptitude Exam to something else, for example: Aptitude in Social Situations Exam. so when kids take it they can be like, 'yeah, i'm gonna take the A.S.S. Exam tomorrow.' Or 'pray for me that i won't get reamed in the A.S.S. Exam.' Or they can say ' studying for the A.S.S. exam sure is painful.'"

(haha... that reminds me of when jon stewart was talking about how he was getting an anal exam and the doctor said in an accusing voice, "there's nothing in here!" as if jon was making it up... jon was like, "it's like he was expecting me to turn around and go, 'gotcha!'")

some random nba thoughts from various friends of mine:
-i bet duncan + 4 white guys could win a championship
-(after hearing that duncan stopped swimming and picked up bball after hurricane hugo destroyed his swimming pool) haha... he was probably like, "aw man, what am i gonna do now?"

movie thoughts:
-matrix 2: haven't watched it yet; maybe i'll just wait for the dvd now...
-terminator 3: i think it's gonna suck, but like sam, i'm gonna go watch it... you don't even KNOW how much us guys grew up on terminator 2... when i was older i watched the 1st terminator, and was blown away... this time it's actually gonna be in the future(finally!)
-finding nemo: prob wait for the dvd... although the blowfish hecka cracks me up like crazy... when he suddenly inflates, floats away and goes, "oooh! here i go!"
-bruce almighty: wait for dvd

ok, later... geez i don't do anything around here... at least i don't THINK i do...

saturday's bbq was great... lesse... i went back for a total of 4 times? 8 slabs of beef, 1 slab of chicken, 5 slices of watermelon... the watermelon was GGOOOOD... chicken was GGOOOOD, but short on supply... beef was kinda hard, somewhat sweet, but it was still bbq'd meat, so i kept going back...

sunday... laura was around, so me jerm jon and her went to lunch together... jerm ended up finishing her 2nd slice of pizza chicago pizza... went to mike's house later... it's funny, i keep forgetting just how tired laura gets... she dozed off there... later, us guys play bball... what else was memorable... although she wasn't hungry, laura joins us at tung kee, where my curry duck soup splashes in her eye accidently :D all of us go later to marie callender's, where we get a chocolate pie... funny... it looked like tiffany, this girl who used to know me at MVHS(she was the one who dozed off behind me in span 5, and of course later i would doze off too, heh heh, looked kinda funny), was the one working there... she didn't seem to recognize me though, so i didn't say anything... me and my shy ass... maybe i'll say something next time... i just didn't wanna look like a klutz, y'kno? like i didn't know how to start the conversation. watch norm get too pissed at wes for attacking him and breaking the treaty during risk... haha... laura kept trying to tell others to stop hating on each other :D
laura: get rid of that lump in the back of your throat!
norm: what, my adam's apple?
*everyone laughs about it*
laura: i meant those bitter feelings!
(later)
alan: cmon norm just flip the board; it'll make you feel better

mon... bball was all i remember... ouch... my foot callous hurts... specifically the one on my left foot... it's kinda strange, cause i'm left-handed(hence right footed), so you'd assume my right foot would be the one getting the ouches, but i guess my right foot is taking off correctly... i need to work on my offense...

tues... got the dr. schools(ok, i admit i dunno how to spell it) gel insoles... i hope that gets rid of my callous problems... pretty cheap; 9.08-$2 for the coupon, so 7.08 total... nice... uh, yea, whatever, day's still unfolding... i'm typing in the saratoga library, which is now remodeled... it's so huge! not to mention they enable you to use microsoft office here too now! so now you can type and stuff! pretty neat, eh? ok, i think i'll go now and explore the remainder of the library.

i think i'll finish "in the secret" tonight...

amerlin- change the world(hard, but nice-sounding)

nope... not Paul Pierce yet... although today's bball session of mine was a mixed bag... first of all, after i go to MVHS and prep up some, a small azn guy challenges me to a 1-on-1, so i accept, and we get a small game going... but then 4 indian guys and 1 azn guy asks us to play some bball... so we accept... it came out to be 3 on 4, now, my team lost, but here's the impressions:

-i feel kinda sad, cause i think our team had the more o-lang ballers(ie more talent and style), but theirs was kinda "byron", ie they were saying stuff like "o man! we should call him loco, cause he's crazy!" after one of them nailed a shot... which i thought was kinda stupid. so i was thinking, "c'mon man, i accepted to play BBALL, not bAHskitbOl(hispanic way of saying bball)" and i could tell the guy who i was playing 1-on-1 with(he was on my team) was much better; he was doing fake-out moves driving in for layups, it's just that they weren't hitting(but they were really close)... not to mention the other guys were just NOT ballers... basically, they looked rigid... you would agree if you saw too... oh well, gotta hone in on my execution then... at least i got one block, so it wasn't all for naught, but i should work on reading offense better...
-on the other hand, i had a sweet offensive move i pulled off today; here's what happened; i'm sorta in the middle of the key, near the top; one guy is on me, maybe the others are somewhat close by, and i have the ball in my right hand; i crossover in front to my left, and the guy stays with me, then i spin move to the right, guy's still with me, ball's back in my right hand; at this point, i'm thinking, "hey, why not just try one of your hook shots? since you're left-handed, you'll be able to generate energy by rotating clockwise!" so i do that, turn right back clockwise, pull up, and shoot a hook shot; money; the other guys were going "oooh"; so basically the whole sequence that i did looked like this:

in-front crossover-> spin move-> pull-up hook shot-> $$$$

i should try this more often, but i'm thinking it's mainly the speed of my crossover to spin move sequence that sucks, which is why it doesn't fool people; it looks fluid, but it's too slow; i could fool around with timing now, like step left with the crossover REALLY slow, then whirl around with the spin move and drive in. i should also start experimenting with being able to throw spin moves whenever i want. i think i am improving, but it still needs work; also, i should start experimenting with through-the-leg crossovers; try to get those down.

youth group was small... but it was interesting; when i came in, guys vs. girls, they had to build the larger tower with spice drops(candy coated w/granulated sugar) and dried spaghetti; haha... the guys won, but their tower looked SOOO much shaky, and it was funny how they won cause they added a cross at the top for that extra height, heh heh... ah well, youth group doesn't seem the same anymore; i have to admit that; hopefully it'll get better; it never really occurred to me that i should REALLY consider praying for the youth group; it seems a challenge to even stay in such a small group.

my "in the secret, remixed version" project is going along smoothly... i'm actually surprised to see how good my drum loops are! they sound pretty good! everything's crisp on my version of the song so far... i haven't added vocals yet though :) when i'm done with the mp3 i'll write about it HERE, then if you want it you better try to hook up with me later... after i'm done with that project it's back to the other project of mine: creating my own worship song, MY own way that i feel God speaks to me... i also wanna record "psalm 23", i'm surprised i can't find the .mp3 online... no, not those slow-assed .mp3s you find on kazaa... there's this one version i heard before which is fast paced, and starts from about in the middle of the psalm, right at "you prepare a table..." etc...

i'm hoping this summer, to improve myself spiritually, mentally, and physically... i'm hoping not to forget anything when i get back to college, but instead meet my challenges head on... i didn't do that last school year, and i'm hoping not to repeat that mistake this year...

get back to me on the Spiritual Disciplines, bob, i wanna improve my closeness with God... as well as sunday worship...

i gotta start waking up sooner than this... so far it's been midnight: go to bed, get up around 10:40; i wanna improve that to get up at 8:00...

Lord you see every part of me
i'm tired of feeling underground
time to turn this thing around
and all my insecurity
it always gets the best of me
time to turn this thing around
it's time to turn this thing around

you and i will be alright
if there's nothing left to come
cause Lord I know i sing tonight
for an audience of one
...(there's more to the song, but for now, you can chew on that much so far; if you want more, i have the CD)
-Sanctus Real, Audience of One(easily one of my favorite christian rock songs right now, and no, it's not like that slow-and-soft-ass-paced Big Daddy Weave song sharing the same title)

where has our CTCC church's youth/college gone to? did they miss the idea that you don't need to move if you just ask for the resources for help?

ok, gonna ball for a bit, trying to get the "Paul Pierce" feeling into my ballhandling skills, ie spin moves are tight on and frequent, later readers... go green headband! that's where all my power's been flowing from! :D

ok, so since my den cpu was severely effed over, i couldn't post some stuff for a while; also, the saratoga library has been closed until this weekend, so i can't post there either. so i'll just make a few recaps as to what has been going on so far:

friday:
i think God's really shown me how much he wants me to keep living on this earth, and not take me early; he could've taken me three times this day. remember the all-nighter i pulled? it took a toll on me when i was driving back... at least 3 times i remember dozing off behind the wheel, only to thankfully wake up to myself swerving slightly across or something. finally, i had to pull over and just relax for a bit so i wouldn't die on the spot. luckily the saturn didn't suffer ANY damage. so yeah, God DOES want me to keep me alive. this raises a lot of questions, like, is there some symbolism to my three times dozing off and waking up? (3's a pretty important biblical number when you think resurrection-wise; could God be telling me he just redeemed me 3x?) anyways, i'm thankful for the message that God sent me; i will NOT ever take my life for granted ever if i can help it; life's too important to stress over bad grades. oh yeah; spurs won, so that was cool. i liked manu ginobili's behind-the-back-pass; that was tight. the youth went to golfland, so i just decided to tag along. they were almost done, but i enjoyed watching them make blunders and stuff.

sat:
nothing really much; i can't even remember what i did; i just remember waking up so damn friggin late, then going to tsing tao w/my mom for dinner...

sun:
during sunday school, me, jerm, jon, and grace lin met up w/pastor dan at PMT; lotta discussion; see, mike and wes kinda want to get away from CTCC as much as possible; don't get me wrong, they're not taking a turn for the worse, but they wanna find another church; seems they associate their past with our church. of course, we sorta mulled over that. dan brought up a couple pointers though; if you need help, the church is there to give what it can, and that it's actually tied to how closely related your parents are to the church. like for jon, his parents are involved in choir, so he's pretty tight, and incidently, he's the one who thinks we should try to stay at our church longer. my dad served as deacon for four years, then my mom is still pretty tight with the church, so i'm one of those ppl too(bob, i'm trying to start back on chapter nine; comment back or email me back on that one); on the other hand, mike's parents are currently not involved with our church, and wes' parents don't want him going to our church, as well as being pastor somewhere else. see my point?
moving on, after church i didn't bother going to the new church; i was thinking of doing something else; i went south to bureans, and got the sanctus real CD; i think i got a really good deal; i LOVE their music; upbeat, slightly riffed up, alternative rock. it's good. i love it. not to mention, it cost: $12.00?? wow... and i like almost 80% of the tracks on that record.
spurs won the series, so i'm happy. man, duncan had such a HUGE night. 20(or 30?)+ points, 10+ assists, 20+ rebounds(!) 8+ blocks... he really is the MVP. just some short comments of mine on that night. -more or less, nets were up most of the game, but duncan was doing his work. so in order for them to come back, it was necessary for someone else on the spurs to step it up as well. that person was jackson. more or less, then everything snapped into place. -haha... one point which made me get pissed, then crack a laugh later... fast break, spurs' ball... the ball is slightly out of reach of stephen jackson, who's trying to chase it down, but the ref is in his way, so you see the ref trying desperately to outrun jackson to get out of his way, while jackson's rapidly catching up trying to get the ball! it went out, net's ball, but i would've been so pissed if nets won by 2 points...
-btw, i'm totally looking forward to US bball... AI and duncan on the same team would be awesome... the more i think of it, both players are true team players on their respective teams... AI has been lately setting ppl up instead of taking it all in, and duncan has been doing likewise too. both can also score or do their other stuff if it comes down to it. to have 2 team players for the starting lineup would be tight... now contrast that with if shaq was on the US bball team...

mon:
i'm starting up my bible reading again... ugh... i'm in 1st kings... that's gonna be monotonous for a bit... 1st day that i bball in the summer... i look like sonic the hedgehog... blue jersey, dark blue AND1 gym shorts, red I-3 sneakers... more or less, i didn't have that good of some games, but i was doing my part... other than that, i've been trying to get back into the whole guitar song-writing of things.

tues:
got a green sweatband, so that was cool. now if i just have white gym shorts and a green armband, i'll be paul pierce(without the black skin and skills)... now i look like paul pierce+sonic the hedgehog... anyways i'm starting to get my spin move down a bit better, and today i was doing a lot better... while i was boxed out by a 6-3 chinese guy, i was faster than him, and i think had better hops than anyone else who played that day... i was pulling ALL the rebounds down, provided i was TRYING for them(ie when i wasn't in the paint, i wasn't the one getting the rebound). when i switched, THEN i started getting mad mutumbo-esque blocks... heh heh... and no one blocked my shots, although not all of them went in. however, there were some where i pulled a duncan; ie missed the layup right up, jumped up, pulled down my own missed ball, and hook shot it right back in. those were nice. but the best play i did that day was run in after a missed shot of someone else's(sam's maybe?), jump up and pull the rebound while everyone's thinking it's gonna come to them(i was outside, so they didn't think someone would run in and get it), dribble along the baseline right back out, turn and fire a midrange J... money... haha... with improvements like these, everyone should get their own sweatband! :D

wed:
that's today; finally got the cpu moved so i could reconnect to the internet from home. eh, maybe songwriting later; i've really been wanting to redo "in the secret", as well as get a couple other songs down... anyways, i've been on this cpu long enough... i'm logging off.

for better or worse, my freshman days are over... it's too early to tell if my GPA's screwed for life, but i'm already fretting over it... oh well... can't undo the past... i might as well enjoy the summer... btw thanks God; even though the test wasn't perfect, i could tell you were helping me at least partway through it...

priority #1 as of summer will be to hone down my ability to control time; successful, and maybe my sophomore year won't be as bad as i anticipate... then i won't have to pull all-nighters like today...

*in a somewhat tired, slow, but smiling voice*:

"you guys missed the sunrise..."

only 2 more hours til i take my chem final...

1 left... for better or for worse, my freshman year is coming to a close...

before i forget:
happy graduation, steven! i dunno whether your ceremony's thurs or fri, in either case, i can't make it(maybe friday, but i kinda wanna hook up with my church homies again), but you're through with high school! have fun at UCLA you bastard! :) oh yeah; keep strong in God, and keep worshipping him on your guitar! if you see lisa chu, pass on my congrats to her too; oh yeah ask her where she's going college-wise, and aim me... or make a private blog in the comments...

and in case he doesn't read that far down my page:
happy graduation wes! high school had its ups and downs, but you made it through! g'luck @UCI! enjoy these short days of summer, cause once this passes, i'm not too sure you can potentially relax during summer anymore... internship and summer classes-wise...

to louis and justin:
i LOVED my senior year in high school; IMO, maybe the greatest school year of my recent life... cause there's nothing you can really do to improve your college entrances(aside from writing a good college essay)... and it's the borderline between childhood and adulthood... so just take it easy during the upcoming senior year... take only 5 classes if you can... do some stuff you never found the time to do... like studying the word of God for extended periods of time... and just have fun...

that's all i gotta say... i'm the last man standing... in UCD, that is... crunch time tomorrow, and you KNOW i can't stop! prayers for these critical hours would be nice:
thurs, 4:00 PM~6:00 PM
fri, 8:00 AM-10:00 AM

SONGWRITING THOUGHTS(to answer bob's diary jot):

1)first of all, lemme get off my chest that if you want, i can help you songwrite during the summer... i've got a few other sideprojects i wanted to do myself, and wanted to change my OLD website to exclusively music stuff... i mean, the songwriting process is hard with a group of ppl, even harder going at it solo, and even harder when you are going solo WITHOUT editing software... i fall in the middle, as i go at it solo, but have some laptop technology to back me up in thinking, drumloops, etc... fun, fun...

2)i'll admit my style tends to like guitar talent more or less greater than the vocals... so i'll admit straight off that i concentrate more on guitar than vocals, although that 1st recorded piece i did wasn't exactly van halen material...

3)but technically, here's what works for me:
-write out a rough poem of what i wanna say
-play my guitar to it, using simple stuff, ie power chords, trying to sing/shout/scream/etc with it
-edit either lyrics or guitar, rinse and repeat...
-when i'm finally satisified with the skeleton of the music, then i try to get more elaborate, sticking in riffs and stuff like that in places of chords...
usually, you can't just finish your poem, and THEN try to work on your guitar... for me, that messes it completely up... i find you usually need to work on tiny parts together at one time...
when you're finally done with the skeleton of it, feel free to go nuts... riffs, fillers, pickings, whatever, it's all open here... for me though, i find that if i'm adding drumloops for recording purposes, that it's best to do it RIGHT after this... that way, you can play it while you're recording your guitar/vocals to keep them in line of tempo...

4)drumloop software...
well, if you're interested, i really LOVE this application:
HammerHead Rhythm Station
easily one of the best software things for creating drumloops on your cpu... it's good... just try it... you can even import other sound schemes to work w/it... like tom-toms, or turntabling sounds... really great for helping out your lil songwriting projects... just remember your sheet music knowledge :)

5)recording software...
um, sorry can't help you there, as far as freeware goes :) i use cakewalk music creator 2K3(it's really good), but i can't find anything freeware on downloads.com that you might be able to use... you can use bon wav2mp3 converter to convert wav files to mp3 files, but the wav recording thing on most win cpus only goes about 1 min max... you'll need to do some searching...

6)recording equipment...
here's how it works for me...
take a look at my guitar setup at the top... now imagine a third 1/4" cable coming out the output part of the amp, coming into a 1/4" to 1/8" mono(or was it stereo? anyways i use mono) adaptor, which plugs into the recording slot of your cpu... if you've got a mic, and a "Y" cable, you can actually record vocals AND guitar at the same time... although for me the adaptor part really helps make the guitar sound a lot more crisp... so you won't have to record the guitar in front of a mic and pick up all sorts of other stuff... and i usually have the drumloop software looping the clip, or playing what i want while i'm going, so it's easy to keep tempo... btw you can get the adaptor @radioshack...

btw, on a more personal note, songwriting has me admiring the whole songwriting process too... granted, sometimes i just wanna get pissed at the crud the media sometimes cranks out(how in the world can you admire a person who has good looks and ONLY uses 3 chords+lyrics about effing everyone?), but more or less, i've learned to admire almost everyone in the songwriting process... guitarists, vocalists, drummers, bassists, and especially the studios+their editing stuff(that's why it always sounds so crisp... they've balanced everything on the tracks to make it perfect, whereas i'm still clipping my guitar tracks or playing them too soft to my taste... or cringing at my own voice)... i bet if i actually made my stuff my professional career, that i'd admire every more ppl in the process(like the ppl who get the word out on the streets or distribute the music, as well as the fans who actually take the time and money to buy the music)

so as i write this, jon has finallly left... wow... the space i missed... it feels more like an actual room now, even if i haven't fully taken advantage of his side of the room... it's still great though... i've already begun moving a few things into his side of the room...

so the series is knotted up... i'm still thinking spurs in 6 IF THEY WIN... today's game was horrible... not even gonna go there... both teams weren't doing good... duncan got into early foul trouble, and then a run started for the nets... then, the spurs came back to take the lead, and then from there it was more or less free throw shooting that determined it... ugly...

sorry, no cs tonight or tomorrow... crunch time is rapidly approaching, and it's time for me to do something... maybe friday near noon for a bit though...

seems like that's my other motivation for working hard... not having to have others worry about me... now if only i could somehow channel that feeling into my school studies...

alright later, that's my thoughts for tonight...

and oh yea wes, if you're reading this... happy graduation man! sorry i couldn't attend... but best wishes to you... hope everything goes well @UCI

here we go... LET'S DO THIS GOD!

so wha'd we do?

-dinner @asian fusion... not bad, the korean BBQ ribs weren't too shabby
-go to phil's apartment as well as see where he's working
-bowling... michelle owned both of us, and phil's attempts to put spin on the ball resulted in too many gutterballs
-old teahouse... pearl green milk tea... not too bad...
-visit my next-school-year apartment area...
-occasional small-talk... how michelle and phil have been, what i've been doing, nba, guitar music, stuff like that... davis life...

that's about it... i wish we could do more... there's things you're more willing to explore as you grow older, such as talk about deeper things... oh yea, phil forgives me for breaking his headphones *whew*

i have to learn to let go of my anger, instead of holding it inside of me...

i'm gonna love summer... i will train myself to be able to control my time during then... hopefully, if everything works out, this will carry into my remaining college years, so i don't waste time...

spurs up 1... 2-1... yeap... 2 left...

1 down... and1 later... 2 left after that... it's crunch time! let's do this God!

haha... i love doing that... it really psykes me up when i shout to myself mentally and throw that semi-prayer up to God by yelling in my head, "LET'S DO THIS, GOD!"

think i'll just chill for the rest of the day... gonna see phil... so happy... too bad i'll have to study, so i can't visit where he's working here in davis during the week, just today, but it's all good.

Genesis 4:4b-5
The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Hebrews 11:4
By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.

Look at Genesis 4:4b; look carefully; the Bible makes it clear that God didn't favor the person or just the offering, but that he looked upon the person AND his offering... this is why Abel offered the better offering... HIS act of worship was right... you have to have the right attitude of worship, AND present your best... it's tempting to think worship just involves all your heart... if it did involve all your heart to God, you'd very much feel like you have to give your best...

that's the lesson i learned today... i'll add this to the stuff i'm gonna talk about in worship... later...

a n.y. jewish man has an american son... the son grows up distorted by the american ways and becomes materialistic... so the jewish man decides to send his son to israel for a period of time, in the hopes that he'd become a better man by learning the jewish ways... when the time has passed, the son comes home, and to the delight of the jewish man, he has become a better man. then he tells his father, "dad! it was great! i've learned so much! i've become a christian!"
the man is shocked to hear that his son has become a christian... so he goes next door to his jewish neighbor, also a devout judaist... when he explains the incident, he is shocked when the neighbor replies, "y'kno, the exact same thing happened to me! i sent my son to israel, and returns a christian!"
stunned, the two try to find their rabbi, to explain the incidents in the hopes that he could help them... to their surprise, he ALSO tells them that he sent his son to israel to find that he has returned a christian!
so all of them are kneeling before Yahweh, praying desperately for a solution to their problems, when a ray of light bursts through the clouds, to hear a booming voice say, "I sent my son to israel too" :D(please tell me you got that)

bittersweet news... phil's gonna be in UCD soon... why bittersweet? because i could spend more time with him if i didn't have these stupid finals... life on earth can sometimes blow so much... anyways, it's been such a long time since i've seen my bro... sometimes i wonder how life would be if i end up living right door next to my bro when i'm older... but then it would be just like "friends"... you might as well ask jonny with his potential-to-be-wife to move in next door as well... then it'll really be "friends"... michelle will be monica, jonny will be ross, phil will be, well, bing(i dunno how to spell his first name), etc, etc... does that make me joey? geez, i guess i'm dumb...

i wish i could say the lyrics of Superchick - Get Up with sincerity, but my faith isn't that strong yet... the only thing i see are my potential grades... i know, i know, worrying like crazy doesn't do jack about it or change my past, but i can't help it... sometimes i envy the animals i see crawling around UCD... sometimes i just stop walking, stare at them, and think, "man, you guys are so lucky... your life is so simple... God provides for you, and you feel no emotional pain, or have to experience the trials of something called capitalist society"

me: btw i'm getting how to create drumloops
me: so that's cool
laura: oooh
laura: niiice
me: move over sonicflood; i'm making my own version of "in the secret" :-)
me: i just hope they don't sue me :-)
laura: hehe
laura: hahaha