man, i dunno what it is with me, but i've been getting blessings and blessings from god this week. and i'm not talking about the "oh, i managed to wake up in time for class even though i hit the snooze button stuff," or "i should've gotten a parking ticket, but i didn't," it's even better than what happened last end of fall quarter. i'm talking about the stuff related to fasting and prayer i did this week. granted, my fast was over yesterday afternoon, but it's enough to show me the power of fasting, prayer, and meditation, all working together. if that isn't something worth talking about, what isn't?
i'll probably pay some extra hours for it tonight, as i've got a lab due tomorrow and other ish, but it's worth it.
i'll just cut and paste the entries i made today... you gotta read it to believe it... plz be patient and read both entries... i hope that you will gain something from it and be encouraged further from it... whatever i quoted was what i wrote directly out of my diary... as King Nebuchadnezzar best put it in Daniel 4:1-3,
To the peoples, nations and men of every language, who live in all the world:
May you prosper greatly!
It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.
How great are his signs,
how mighty his wonders!
His kingdom is an eternal kingdom;
his dominion endures from generation to generation.
(this one i started out seeing another weakness of mine, and then it just made me sadder and sadder thinking about it; in case you don't know as I reference in the entry, me, jon, jerm and sam all have a small group thing we do every tuesday night outside of msm and whatever-church-group-sam-goes-to-in-ucsb)
(begin quote)
I see another weakness of mine; I get easily ensnared by the prospect of new things. In some cases, this is good b/c as a genetics future wannabe, it’s good to want to know more and explore and find out more. But this is also bad, b/c it means I am that much more easily ensnared by the “treasures” of this world.
In the case of fighting games, that means I can so easily be ensnared by a game I haven’t tried mastering or playing. As of right now, I am hooked upon the ol skool versions of SFII. It ended up distracting me during my MCB class b/c I started thinking and replaying the matches I played against someone @the MU instead of the class subject.
And I also see this wanting of temporary, new things in the way I buy stuff sometimes. Always wanting new things, never satisfied with what I have; is everything I buy that useful? Is this the meaning of the 10th commandment? To not be envious of what we don’t have? Or the 2nd commandment? This is terrible. Nothing I have tried is really that new, that satisfying in the long run. I can say all I want, but fighting games are basically pushing buttons and tapping joysticks. Music is basically hearing the same notes played in different rhythms; it’s JUST NOISE! Basketball is pushing a stupid ball through a new. And all these things get us angry or saddened just b/c we can’t do them consistently? Useless. Lacking.
Soloman was right(Ecclesiastes 1:8-10); nothing is new. AT ALL. How weak I am. How lacking my soul is. I guess I could tell the others tonight about how I’d feel, but they’d probably brush it off, saying “oh, we all have wants” or “as long as it’s in proper perspective with your placement of God first,” but really now, do you realize how much we think of finding joy in these things?
I guess I really don’t know where I’m going with this; I don’t know exactly how God is going to rid or diminish my want of things new or that I don’t have, and I’m not trying to say we all should give everything away and just be like monks. I guess what I could do is bring forth this issue as a confession before the other guys tonight and ask them to forgive me on part of God, as well as to ask God to begin that work of being content only in God.
(end quote)
(you needed to read the above to truly appreciate the entry i made below; i then spent a long time in prayer just griping to God, and then spent some moments in meditation, trying to let God speak to me; what followed was just gold... i don't know how else to put it... this meditation experience felt the most real to me out of anything i've done; it was like me and god were talking to each other without words; i was adding something with my imagination to the vision, and he was doing the same)
(begin quote)
(We all know that imagination allows us to use our mindpower to create images in our mind, and that it’s a suggestive way to meditate before God, but what I’m about to say next felt more like a communication w/God w/o words, making this feel so genuine, like no other meditation experience I’ve ever felt. I’m trying to recreate the imagery as best I could, but some of the words I said or heard couldn’t be remembered exactly.)
I just had the most incredible meditation experience ever; I was contemplating how sinful I was for wanting temporary things, and then God just took my imagination and used it for his glory. I saw the personification of James 1:22-25 and John 6:33-37;
I was standing in front of a large body-long mirror, which was the perfect law(as seen in James), and then saw my hungry, thirsty self. I looked dead, shriveled, gray. And then I complained to God, saying “How can I ever change myself? I am just so weak, I can never be satisfied. I know I need you, but I don’t know how.” And I said some other things along these lines.
All the while, Jesus was in the same room as me, slightly behind me, looking at me and the mirror. And then after hearing me, he tells me, “Then I’ll become a part of you.” He turns into a slice of bread, then says, “Take me and eat me, and I’ll become you(or a part of you).” But I protested, saying, “My Lord, please, no! My vessel(body) is weak and imperfect! You don’t want to dwell there!” And Jesus replied, “I love you too much. I can’t let and see you go hungry like this again. I’ll let my body be broken and destroyed so that I can live in you and be a part of you. That way, you will become perfect b/c I dwell in you and am perfect myself. You just need to believe in me, and that I can do it.” I said, “Lord, I believe; help me to believe,” and then took him and ate him.
The vision ended there, b/c I started thinking(by myself, not visions given to me) about whether Jesus would come out of my body as poop, but that b/c he’s perfect no poop would come out, so then I basically decided to just open my eyes.
(end quote)
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Davis Police Department Weekly Crime Synopsis - City of Davis
just 4 more hours of fasting to go, or such...
you'd be surprised(or not) what's in your fast food... take a look at jack in the box or wendy's or burger king's official websites... it's like 80% hydrogenated soybean oils, 15% EDTA preservatives, and 5% actual meat(well, not exactly, but the long list of crud that follows the actual meat makes it seem that way)... i dunno if this'll motivate me to eat even more at in n out and redrum exclusively... not that eating out's healthy in the 1st place... man am i thankful i like cooking, or i'd be in a bind...
i guess i am kinda stupid about this, cause the truth is that you KNOW this stuff isn't healthy, so you wouldn't be that surprised, and yet, when you do look @the ingredients, you are taken aback...
have fun eating out... I'M out...
just 4 more hours of fasting to go, or such...
you'd be surprised(or not) what's in your fast food... take a look at jack in the box or wendy's or burger king's official websites... it's like 80% hydrogenated soybean oils, 15% EDTA preservatives, and 5% actual meat(well, not exactly, but the long list of crud that follows the actual meat makes it seem that way)... i dunno if this'll motivate me to eat even more at in n out and redrum exclusively... not that eating out's healthy in the 1st place... man am i thankful i like cooking, or i'd be in a bind...
i guess i am kinda stupid about this, cause the truth is that you KNOW this stuff isn't healthy, so you wouldn't be that surprised, and yet, when you do look @the ingredients, you are taken aback...
have fun eating out... I'M out...
Monday, March 07, 2005
Photos that will never make the news
my christian diary entry, after about 1 day of my 2-day fast:
"I have come to the realization of why fasting’s important in a Christian life; habitual fasting helps us to remember God’s provision and how weak we are. There’s a lot more reasons why it’s so important as a stepping stone God uses to draw us closer to him, but I’ve realized that(at least for today) it creates adversity and trouble when it is not there. As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a lb of cure.” However, it is well-known that Christians have to suffer adversity to grow, so how can we solve this problem? Fasting: we allow habitual occurrences of testing to occur upon ourselves so as to place ourselves in the rich soil for spiritual growth; it’s easy to be loving, patient and kind when all is well. Does this mean we’ll never suffer trouble outside of fasting if we do so? Of course not, but we become that much more equipped to handle modern society’s problems. Note that this thought only deals with fasting as a mechanism God uses to help you grow; there are many other benefits and insights to God using a combination of prayer and fasting to reach you that I personally haven’t discovered yet; I would hope with God’s grace that I can eventually discover these things sometime soon."
"I’ve also come to realize that due to the above paragraph, that unless if God directly tells you to, there’s no useful purpose in fasting beyond 10-12 days w/o solid sustenance. What you want to use to glean yourself is the hunger pangs, fatigue and what no from starvation. As you know, after 10-12 days, the pains stop until ~40 days. But b/c we use that hunger for God to shape us, I really don’t see a reason to fast beyond that time; if it doesn’t hurt(and hence, can’t be used to bring you closer), why fast?"
i'd also like to add that when fasting, it's not that good of an idea to do any strenuous activity, which is quite weird, since if you try strenuous activity on a buldging stomach(as i have painfully experienced after the 200 m dash to the bus stop after a pot-full of dinner soup), you feel DA PAIN. but it's true also for fasting; your stomach will hurt; slow your motions down, take your time walking around.
everytime i'm tempted to cut my fast short or delay it, i have to ask myself "what are you doing this(fasting) for?" then i have to remind myself that god is more important that the bowl of noodles i would've been whipping up, then consuming at the apt or what not. yeah, it is a struggle each month to attempt to fast; to begin it, and then to prolong it. i really had no idea i loved food this much. but i know about how valuable it is, so i'll keep fighting myself to do it once a month.
(although i would like to end the fast tomorrow w/a jack in the box fish n chips combo w/fish fillet... that'd be good, but whatever, that's later)
my christian diary entry, after about 1 day of my 2-day fast:
"I have come to the realization of why fasting’s important in a Christian life; habitual fasting helps us to remember God’s provision and how weak we are. There’s a lot more reasons why it’s so important as a stepping stone God uses to draw us closer to him, but I’ve realized that(at least for today) it creates adversity and trouble when it is not there. As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a lb of cure.” However, it is well-known that Christians have to suffer adversity to grow, so how can we solve this problem? Fasting: we allow habitual occurrences of testing to occur upon ourselves so as to place ourselves in the rich soil for spiritual growth; it’s easy to be loving, patient and kind when all is well. Does this mean we’ll never suffer trouble outside of fasting if we do so? Of course not, but we become that much more equipped to handle modern society’s problems. Note that this thought only deals with fasting as a mechanism God uses to help you grow; there are many other benefits and insights to God using a combination of prayer and fasting to reach you that I personally haven’t discovered yet; I would hope with God’s grace that I can eventually discover these things sometime soon."
"I’ve also come to realize that due to the above paragraph, that unless if God directly tells you to, there’s no useful purpose in fasting beyond 10-12 days w/o solid sustenance. What you want to use to glean yourself is the hunger pangs, fatigue and what no from starvation. As you know, after 10-12 days, the pains stop until ~40 days. But b/c we use that hunger for God to shape us, I really don’t see a reason to fast beyond that time; if it doesn’t hurt(and hence, can’t be used to bring you closer), why fast?"
i'd also like to add that when fasting, it's not that good of an idea to do any strenuous activity, which is quite weird, since if you try strenuous activity on a buldging stomach(as i have painfully experienced after the 200 m dash to the bus stop after a pot-full of dinner soup), you feel DA PAIN. but it's true also for fasting; your stomach will hurt; slow your motions down, take your time walking around.
everytime i'm tempted to cut my fast short or delay it, i have to ask myself "what are you doing this(fasting) for?" then i have to remind myself that god is more important that the bowl of noodles i would've been whipping up, then consuming at the apt or what not. yeah, it is a struggle each month to attempt to fast; to begin it, and then to prolong it. i really had no idea i loved food this much. but i know about how valuable it is, so i'll keep fighting myself to do it once a month.
(although i would like to end the fast tomorrow w/a jack in the box fish n chips combo w/fish fillet... that'd be good, but whatever, that's later)
Sunday, March 06, 2005
L33t cereal
with that tidbit of humor, study hard peeps... it doesn't mean a damn thing if but were hardworking the entire quarter, but don't finish up strong...
depending upon whether i get selected for jury duty or get cut on the week of 27th, i may have a 3-4 day break...
gonna fast for 2 straight days w/o food... sunday dinner, all of monday, tuesday breakfast and lunch... b/c i've lost sight of what this life is all about...
good thing that sore left thigh was only a 1 day thing... it feels fine now... time indeed heals all wounds.
with that tidbit of humor, study hard peeps... it doesn't mean a damn thing if but were hardworking the entire quarter, but don't finish up strong...
depending upon whether i get selected for jury duty or get cut on the week of 27th, i may have a 3-4 day break...
gonna fast for 2 straight days w/o food... sunday dinner, all of monday, tuesday breakfast and lunch... b/c i've lost sight of what this life is all about...
good thing that sore left thigh was only a 1 day thing... it feels fine now... time indeed heals all wounds.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
comcast sucks so much recently... again...
my left thigh's aching so much... no, i didn't think i broke any bones or sprained anything, but it hurts... but i grit through it... like ai and brett farve.
TTIIIIIIIME! (man oh man, that makes me laugh so hard; ask jon and jerm for specifics if you don't know why it's so funny to me)
nerf n-strike maverick is so k3wl...
man, i can't believe how cheap stuff is at guitar center during their green tag sale... ridiculously cheap stuff...
stop trying to play by the world's rules for a change if you remember to do it...
my left thigh's aching so much... no, i didn't think i broke any bones or sprained anything, but it hurts... but i grit through it... like ai and brett farve.
TTIIIIIIIME! (man oh man, that makes me laugh so hard; ask jon and jerm for specifics if you don't know why it's so funny to me)
nerf n-strike maverick is so k3wl...
man, i can't believe how cheap stuff is at guitar center during their green tag sale... ridiculously cheap stuff...
stop trying to play by the world's rules for a change if you remember to do it...
Sunday, February 27, 2005
i can't believe koreans play THAT type of a prison game... at a msm junior guys' fellowship... ugh... felt like a sausage party... rock scissors paper has now hit an all-time low...
other than that it was fun... i still need to work on my foot quickness though; if it were better, i'm sure football and basketball would be a lot better for me... not too sure how to go about doing liners though.
hmm... nba's so interesting these days... walker's back in boston, so that'll solve the problem of chemistry(of pierce fitting in and having to take the load of the team), and flat-out make boston a much better team than with payton. everybody knows about the cwebb trade, which, imo makes both teams better, not by much, but still a lot better; kings had peja and cwebb clash all the time, and we all know sixers need someone other than ai to go to all the time. and davis is now in a warriors uniform; this is so exciting! they just need some big men now! plus, you got detroit starting to turn it up on d like the world champs they are. plus, spurs aquired more pieces in place of rose(not that they would need it; spurs have ANY weaknesses?)
i'm noticing that prince is starting to pour it on in the pts category now(20+ in the last few games); i'm predicting that in the late future(think 6-7 years down the road), he could be a legitimate all-star. the reason why he doesn't get noticed is because he's not a stat player, but i think he is either the piston's no 1 or 2 guy(i guess maybe number 3 if you consider billups for the offense and ben wallace for the defense, but he's great on BOTH ends of the court) no one's gonna argue with his defense, given what he's done with tmac and kobe, and he's a good rebounder and i read somewhere that somehow always knows when a person's open and hits them with an assist. of course, i could be talking out of my ass, since not only do i like the pistons a LOT, but prince is probably my 2nd favorite player on that team. but the truth is this: he's improving, he's young, and he's got a long ways to go. hence, i think he's only hitting the tip of the iceberg for his potential.
i was listening to dream job, nba edition, and i do agree; i think they should make the all-star game count for something; you get home court advantage for the nba finals. otherwise, it never really counts for anything, and the players sometimes don't feel like they should get into it for fear of injuries.
i'm not too sure i should be joyful that god is revealing every single weakness to me; i like that i now know what my enemies are and where to concentrate upon improving my relationship with god, but i don't like how many of them there are. didn't fast at all the last week, but here's another weakness of mine i saw; i can't "finish strong." basically, i get to the weekend, and then i get lazy. so maybe the issue is not fasting on the weekdays at all(since i never play videogames on the weekdays), but the issue lies with the weekends; no classes, no bus to take you to the uc davis campus to study til 11:00 PM, so if you aren't strong with yourself, you have a big chance to get lazy and screw everything up. that's my weakness.
other than that it was fun... i still need to work on my foot quickness though; if it were better, i'm sure football and basketball would be a lot better for me... not too sure how to go about doing liners though.
hmm... nba's so interesting these days... walker's back in boston, so that'll solve the problem of chemistry(of pierce fitting in and having to take the load of the team), and flat-out make boston a much better team than with payton. everybody knows about the cwebb trade, which, imo makes both teams better, not by much, but still a lot better; kings had peja and cwebb clash all the time, and we all know sixers need someone other than ai to go to all the time. and davis is now in a warriors uniform; this is so exciting! they just need some big men now! plus, you got detroit starting to turn it up on d like the world champs they are. plus, spurs aquired more pieces in place of rose(not that they would need it; spurs have ANY weaknesses?)
i'm noticing that prince is starting to pour it on in the pts category now(20+ in the last few games); i'm predicting that in the late future(think 6-7 years down the road), he could be a legitimate all-star. the reason why he doesn't get noticed is because he's not a stat player, but i think he is either the piston's no 1 or 2 guy(i guess maybe number 3 if you consider billups for the offense and ben wallace for the defense, but he's great on BOTH ends of the court) no one's gonna argue with his defense, given what he's done with tmac and kobe, and he's a good rebounder and i read somewhere that somehow always knows when a person's open and hits them with an assist. of course, i could be talking out of my ass, since not only do i like the pistons a LOT, but prince is probably my 2nd favorite player on that team. but the truth is this: he's improving, he's young, and he's got a long ways to go. hence, i think he's only hitting the tip of the iceberg for his potential.
i was listening to dream job, nba edition, and i do agree; i think they should make the all-star game count for something; you get home court advantage for the nba finals. otherwise, it never really counts for anything, and the players sometimes don't feel like they should get into it for fear of injuries.
i'm not too sure i should be joyful that god is revealing every single weakness to me; i like that i now know what my enemies are and where to concentrate upon improving my relationship with god, but i don't like how many of them there are. didn't fast at all the last week, but here's another weakness of mine i saw; i can't "finish strong." basically, i get to the weekend, and then i get lazy. so maybe the issue is not fasting on the weekdays at all(since i never play videogames on the weekdays), but the issue lies with the weekends; no classes, no bus to take you to the uc davis campus to study til 11:00 PM, so if you aren't strong with yourself, you have a big chance to get lazy and screw everything up. that's my weakness.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
ooooo... ooooo indeed...
and kings are pretty close to dealing away cwebb as well... looks like a good move imo.
chinese in houston
i have no idea whether barry did the right thing or just dug himself into a way deeper hole, given what he did on tuesday...
at least i'm not more female than male... i'd be disturbed... though i am slightly confused about what this means considering it's pretty close... am i too girlish inside?
but here's something i wanna leave w/you: the man thinks w/his dick... the woman thinks with her heart... god thinks with both... it's true... my analogy isn't actually too formal, but it's da truth...
and kings are pretty close to dealing away cwebb as well... looks like a good move imo.
chinese in houston
i have no idea whether barry did the right thing or just dug himself into a way deeper hole, given what he did on tuesday...
Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
at least i'm not more female than male... i'd be disturbed... though i am slightly confused about what this means considering it's pretty close... am i too girlish inside?
but here's something i wanna leave w/you: the man thinks w/his dick... the woman thinks with her heart... god thinks with both... it's true... my analogy isn't actually too formal, but it's da truth...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Oh sure, I can stop whenever I want eh?
Napster doesn't go nostalgic... ie they don't have some music groups on their program at ALL... like big dismal, 12 stones, umm, there's a lot more...
Napster doesn't go nostalgic... ie they don't have some music groups on their program at ALL... like big dismal, 12 stones, umm, there's a lot more...
i'll try to refrain from the huge temptation to comment about the nba all-star weekend, or bball at all...
it was great to finally see michelle and phil again after what seems like an eternity...
anyways, i saw my nephew for the 1st time this weekend... k3wl; it's weird being an uncle at 21 and having the evidence stare right back at you. biut that's what having an age gap between you and your older sibling of 8 yrs does i guess; it has its benefits. anyways, very huge eyes, has a nice smile... very nice. one thing that irks me... do all babies cry like crazy? seems like almost anything that did not involve michael looking at phil or michelle set him off. oh yea; i didn't know how i was supposed to carry him... *shrug* guess that's something i better learn fast...
so i ended my fast of a weeklong denial of no videogames... what did i gain? well, i think i lived out the meaning of Matthew 12:43-45; i did myself no good to just deny myself videogames(despite it being a good idea), because i found out that whatever else i used to use to waste time, simply magnified itself; i ended up spending a lot more time on nba.com... so, the issue then, of course, points out another weakness of mine... when i do a "non-food" fast again, i'll have to deny myself of videogames AND sports AND blogging AND web-surfing for one full week. the internet part's kinda hard to enforce, because i do have to go online to print out lecture notes and stuff, so i guess i could limit the sites to myucdavis.edu and hotmail.com. but that's not all; i HAVE to lean upon God...
richard foster's completely right; whatever your weaknesses are, will be seen and magnified during any fast:
what i have learned about myself from the cumulative fasts i have done this year have shown me just how weak i am.
where do i go from here? well, there's nothing i can really do, except pray to God that he'll be willing to change who i am; alone i can't do it, although i'd love to; the only way is for God to do so. that doesn't mean i can't plant the seed, but the growing part will be done by God.
fasting indeed, is an integral part of any growing christian's diet. no wonder the modern day individual experiences no spriitual growth.
it was great to finally see michelle and phil again after what seems like an eternity...
anyways, i saw my nephew for the 1st time this weekend... k3wl; it's weird being an uncle at 21 and having the evidence stare right back at you. biut that's what having an age gap between you and your older sibling of 8 yrs does i guess; it has its benefits. anyways, very huge eyes, has a nice smile... very nice. one thing that irks me... do all babies cry like crazy? seems like almost anything that did not involve michael looking at phil or michelle set him off. oh yea; i didn't know how i was supposed to carry him... *shrug* guess that's something i better learn fast...
so i ended my fast of a weeklong denial of no videogames... what did i gain? well, i think i lived out the meaning of Matthew 12:43-45; i did myself no good to just deny myself videogames(despite it being a good idea), because i found out that whatever else i used to use to waste time, simply magnified itself; i ended up spending a lot more time on nba.com... so, the issue then, of course, points out another weakness of mine... when i do a "non-food" fast again, i'll have to deny myself of videogames AND sports AND blogging AND web-surfing for one full week. the internet part's kinda hard to enforce, because i do have to go online to print out lecture notes and stuff, so i guess i could limit the sites to myucdavis.edu and hotmail.com. but that's not all; i HAVE to lean upon God...
richard foster's completely right; whatever your weaknesses are, will be seen and magnified during any fast:
what i have learned about myself from the cumulative fasts i have done this year have shown me just how weak i am.
where do i go from here? well, there's nothing i can really do, except pray to God that he'll be willing to change who i am; alone i can't do it, although i'd love to; the only way is for God to do so. that doesn't mean i can't plant the seed, but the growing part will be done by God.
fasting indeed, is an integral part of any growing christian's diet. no wonder the modern day individual experiences no spriitual growth.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
apparently jerm's not the only bad dancer
didn't even know the air force had bad dancers :D
k, i got home kinda late, and found the next gen of tsai's all asleep at 11:00 PM... hmm... apparently phil and michelle got O.L.D. dot com when they got married... and while it's good that the heater's FINALLY on at home, i'm surprised how frequently it keep turning on... hey, cupertino ain't THAT cold...
anyways, i haven't seen michael yet, but that'll happen tomorrow...
time for some meditation... then sleep... can't waste tomorrow... i keep praying to god to help me treat every single minute of my life as gold...
therein lies a minor problem though... i WANT to not waste every single minute of my life; i like to think every moment that we get another chance to live on this earth (before finally being eternally consigned to heaven or hell) is a gift from god, so that if we do waste that time, we're essentially not giving thanks to god for what he's given us. wasting our talents, money, etc. and yet, i know that god wants us to not play by the rules of the world, to take our sweet time when we come to him and spend time with him, however way we do it. so i am constantly caught in this dilemma of how to take my time slowly and sweetly, but not waste so much time that i screw my studying time over. what to do?
didn't even know the air force had bad dancers :D
k, i got home kinda late, and found the next gen of tsai's all asleep at 11:00 PM... hmm... apparently phil and michelle got O.L.D. dot com when they got married... and while it's good that the heater's FINALLY on at home, i'm surprised how frequently it keep turning on... hey, cupertino ain't THAT cold...
anyways, i haven't seen michael yet, but that'll happen tomorrow...
time for some meditation... then sleep... can't waste tomorrow... i keep praying to god to help me treat every single minute of my life as gold...
therein lies a minor problem though... i WANT to not waste every single minute of my life; i like to think every moment that we get another chance to live on this earth (before finally being eternally consigned to heaven or hell) is a gift from god, so that if we do waste that time, we're essentially not giving thanks to god for what he's given us. wasting our talents, money, etc. and yet, i know that god wants us to not play by the rules of the world, to take our sweet time when we come to him and spend time with him, however way we do it. so i am constantly caught in this dilemma of how to take my time slowly and sweetly, but not waste so much time that i screw my studying time over. what to do?
Friday, February 18, 2005
so tired... at least the midterm's done... average effort i say... with some luck on the grading on the midterm, i could get a B+(or even A-), instead of barely making a B-... could've been a lot better... i gotta stop blowing my weekend time away...
just 1 1/2 more hours...
maybe i'll take a long shower before i actually head home... ykno, so my mind stays sharp while driving home and not groggied...
and my right thumb hurts so much... i think i clipped my nails a little too close to the meat, and then when i was chopping jalapeno peppers last night, they might've gotten under the skin... ugh... hurts...
summer might turn out to become very fun... if i end up getting a bio job/internship up in davis(most likely), and jon and jerm spend most of the summer in taiwan on missions, phil can actually take their rooms and just hang w/me... as he's got stuff to do in davis during the summer, and needs a place to stay... this could be really cool... kinda like days of old, but with no mom and dad around... (makes me wonder though why phil has to do so much med stuff in davis... out of all places, but then, it's all better that way)
ok, take care of this mcb 161 lecture which is happening in about 15 min, and then i'm outta davis... screw getting the last graded quiz back, that can wait til tuesday when i get back... i'm just exhausted dot com from cramming for the biochem midterm...
just 1 1/2 more hours...
maybe i'll take a long shower before i actually head home... ykno, so my mind stays sharp while driving home and not groggied...
and my right thumb hurts so much... i think i clipped my nails a little too close to the meat, and then when i was chopping jalapeno peppers last night, they might've gotten under the skin... ugh... hurts...
summer might turn out to become very fun... if i end up getting a bio job/internship up in davis(most likely), and jon and jerm spend most of the summer in taiwan on missions, phil can actually take their rooms and just hang w/me... as he's got stuff to do in davis during the summer, and needs a place to stay... this could be really cool... kinda like days of old, but with no mom and dad around... (makes me wonder though why phil has to do so much med stuff in davis... out of all places, but then, it's all better that way)
ok, take care of this mcb 161 lecture which is happening in about 15 min, and then i'm outta davis... screw getting the last graded quiz back, that can wait til tuesday when i get back... i'm just exhausted dot com from cramming for the biochem midterm...
approx 17 more hrs until i can see my bro again...
but first i'll have to brave another midterm first...
btw, chopping up jalapenos and stick them in stagg beef chili is great... i never knew how great fresh jalapenos are, and the kick they add to food... too bad they're not cheap, so don't count on me doing this again for a while... but man, how i love spicy stuff... i'm not one of those cocky overboard ppls though, so yes i like spicy stuff, but i think i'll settle for something short of habanero or capesian, or those sauces which scorch your tongue for prolonged periods... i like the mouth burn, but something close to 15 min is really not my style. i also for some reason don't like tabasco sauce, cause the sour, vinegar smell i think adds a different type of style to the hotness...
jeremiah 29:13... keep this verse with you wherever you go... it's gold...
but first i'll have to brave another midterm first...
btw, chopping up jalapenos and stick them in stagg beef chili is great... i never knew how great fresh jalapenos are, and the kick they add to food... too bad they're not cheap, so don't count on me doing this again for a while... but man, how i love spicy stuff... i'm not one of those cocky overboard ppls though, so yes i like spicy stuff, but i think i'll settle for something short of habanero or capesian, or those sauces which scorch your tongue for prolonged periods... i like the mouth burn, but something close to 15 min is really not my style. i also for some reason don't like tabasco sauce, cause the sour, vinegar smell i think adds a different type of style to the hotness...
jeremiah 29:13... keep this verse with you wherever you go... it's gold...
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
i find that when i'm not trying to look up bball stats or 3rd strike ryu tips and videos online these days, that i'm spending more and more time @daviswiki.org.
seriously, i think i learned more about davis and the way uc davis works by this site alone than anything else.
some interesting stuff i've picked up:
-parking's free on weekends anywhere(didn't know that)
-pools are free to swim in if you show your reg card(whoopie; i'm gonna be lap swimming on the weekends in spring when i buy some swim trunks)
-said this before, but yes, ucd does sell their own meat. cut and butcher.
-lists what you can do in sacramento(malls, chinese markets, etc)
-etc... too much to list, too easy to get lost and lose track of time.
-this really cracked me up yesterday; it's a joke fraternity that often advertises alongside the rows of frat signs near the huge grassy center area:
click here
etc... have fun!
and oh yea; go warriors...
seriously, i think i learned more about davis and the way uc davis works by this site alone than anything else.
some interesting stuff i've picked up:
-parking's free on weekends anywhere(didn't know that)
-pools are free to swim in if you show your reg card(whoopie; i'm gonna be lap swimming on the weekends in spring when i buy some swim trunks)
-said this before, but yes, ucd does sell their own meat. cut and butcher.
-lists what you can do in sacramento(malls, chinese markets, etc)
-etc... too much to list, too easy to get lost and lose track of time.
-this really cracked me up yesterday; it's a joke fraternity that often advertises alongside the rows of frat signs near the huge grassy center area:
click here
etc... have fun!
and oh yea; go warriors...
most of the times i love rain, and the recent sudden outpour in davis again has been great...
there's just one problem...
NOW where do i choose my meditation spot to be?!?!?!? i don't wanna get my pocket bible soaked...
's gotta be somewhere quiet and lonely, hopefully outside, dry, but on campus... and that's a hard gem to find in rainy days...
...
i'll find a way... no... god'll find a way...
there's just one problem...
NOW where do i choose my meditation spot to be?!?!?!? i don't wanna get my pocket bible soaked...
's gotta be somewhere quiet and lonely, hopefully outside, dry, but on campus... and that's a hard gem to find in rainy days...
...
i'll find a way... no... god'll find a way...
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
aw man, bulls vs kings tonight; i've always wanted to see the new bulls! too bad i probably won't be able to, cause i've got a midterm to look after on friday, and other ish to be concerned with, such as our tuesday little accountability thing. well, maybe i might be able to get a few peeks at them...
funny how jordan basically ruined the careers of two of the greatest ballers to play the game... the person whom many consider to be the greatest baller to play the 4 spot has to leave w/o a ring... the shooting guard whom many consider to be the best at shooting off the screen also has to leave w/o a ring... they both came so close, but got away empty...
not that i'm complaining... i respect both players, but i never really liked karl malone or reggie miller.
edit:
heh, this probably means jerm's not going to be a pacers fan anymore, once this season ends... ever meet sports fans who are like that? they don't truly grasp the great strengths of a team, choosing instead to concentrate upon 1 single player?
seems like i watch a lot more kings games on comcast to root for the other team, heh heh. celtics, bulls, warriors(yayyay!), and now: pistons are coming up in march, i'm SERIOUSLY going to enjoy that; if detroit manhandles sac the way they did on lakers last season, i dunno, i might just get a big grin on my face... detroit's starting to pick it up now, so i guess they were just trying to be cautious not to pick up injuries in the 1st half of the season, or getting used to things, although everybody at the get-go were looking to see if they'd just come out strong every night. i'd think, with the emergence of miami, cleveland, as well as some really good west teams, for people to take detroit seriously, they have, HAVE to go on a huge winning streak where they just hold everybody down defensively. sorta like last season, when they first got rasheed, and then just raped about 5, 6 teams in a row, holding them all down to below 80 pts(or was it 70?)
anyways, i watched about the remainder of the bulls game, and i have to say, i'm impressed. kirk hindrich really does play good defense, and he shares the ball a lot. his ability to steal is awesome. and he handed out 12 assists. he's not like where he'll do something jason kiddish, but he almost recognizes who to give the ball to right when he crosses the half court line and nears the perimeter key. there were a lotta plays where he gave it up right to eddy curry cause he saw him alone on the low block. eddy curry is also a great big man, and ben gordon is something really special. he split the kings' double team, then just took it in... crazy.
although, most norcal ppl are gonna be mad tomorrow when they realized brad miller was called for an offensive foul instead of correctly getting a 3-pt play.
funny how jordan basically ruined the careers of two of the greatest ballers to play the game... the person whom many consider to be the greatest baller to play the 4 spot has to leave w/o a ring... the shooting guard whom many consider to be the best at shooting off the screen also has to leave w/o a ring... they both came so close, but got away empty...
not that i'm complaining... i respect both players, but i never really liked karl malone or reggie miller.
edit:
heh, this probably means jerm's not going to be a pacers fan anymore, once this season ends... ever meet sports fans who are like that? they don't truly grasp the great strengths of a team, choosing instead to concentrate upon 1 single player?
seems like i watch a lot more kings games on comcast to root for the other team, heh heh. celtics, bulls, warriors(yayyay!), and now: pistons are coming up in march, i'm SERIOUSLY going to enjoy that; if detroit manhandles sac the way they did on lakers last season, i dunno, i might just get a big grin on my face... detroit's starting to pick it up now, so i guess they were just trying to be cautious not to pick up injuries in the 1st half of the season, or getting used to things, although everybody at the get-go were looking to see if they'd just come out strong every night. i'd think, with the emergence of miami, cleveland, as well as some really good west teams, for people to take detroit seriously, they have, HAVE to go on a huge winning streak where they just hold everybody down defensively. sorta like last season, when they first got rasheed, and then just raped about 5, 6 teams in a row, holding them all down to below 80 pts(or was it 70?)
anyways, i watched about the remainder of the bulls game, and i have to say, i'm impressed. kirk hindrich really does play good defense, and he shares the ball a lot. his ability to steal is awesome. and he handed out 12 assists. he's not like where he'll do something jason kiddish, but he almost recognizes who to give the ball to right when he crosses the half court line and nears the perimeter key. there were a lotta plays where he gave it up right to eddy curry cause he saw him alone on the low block. eddy curry is also a great big man, and ben gordon is something really special. he split the kings' double team, then just took it in... crazy.
although, most norcal ppl are gonna be mad tomorrow when they realized brad miller was called for an offensive foul instead of correctly getting a 3-pt play.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
seems like everybody's giving up something for lent... well... i wouldn't call this something i'm giving up for lent(40 days? why's everything gotta be given up right @lent for 40 days? you telling me you try not to make sacrifices each month to remind yourself of who god is, til lent? and why's it almost always gotta be food?), but one of those things i'm gonna hafta do.
i planned to fast 1-2x each month to remind myself of how god is my king. but this time for feb fast no 1, i'm not doing food; i'm doing something more akin to what daniel in the bible did. i'm giving up my delicacies.
so obviously, this one's gonna be a bit longer. (who fasts for what i'm gonna say for only 1 day? LOL) but let's see how it goes:
no street fighter for 1 week(maybe i might even push it to 2, or 3)
by no street fighter/no fighting games/no video games, i mean:
-i do NOT at all even step inside the muga... if i wanna get some twenties to refill my wallet, i go downtown.
-i do NOT visit srk.com or cv.com or anything related to fighting games or sf
-don't bother looking at any online document relating to sf...
-and don't touch the ps2 at the apt either...
-when i get back, i also can't go to golfland...
-if i do go to fry's, i can't stop by the x-arcade(if they still have 3rd strike there); if possible, try to avoid going to fry's AT ALL...
why am i doing this? it's simple; i'm so sick of having to "rely" on this... i always planned on trying to cut back my arcade time after being given a 2nd chance, but to no avail... studying time's up, but every time i make it to the weekends, instead of keeping up w/the good work, in sheer exhaustion, i just unload in front of the ps2... and waste all the time i've spent in front of the books, so i have to play catchup again... so the least i'm doing is throwing this up on the web and hoping that now that it's made public, that i have to remain true to my word... yes, i know i can do this... but the reason is because not of what i'm losing, but what i'm gaining... when you sacrifice, you'll gain, not the otherway around.
i don't HAVE to do this... but when you believe you're blessed, you should follow up on it. those who have more will be judged higher. and the more i spend in deep, real prayer, the more i believe there is so much that i have been blessed with, either the little, more frequent, daily things, or the big, rare great blessings. stop trying to follow the crowd and follow what's right for a change. so i have to follow up on it. just cause your friends play W.O.W. for huge amts of time each day does not mean you should cave in yourself and play 3rd strike the same way... 4 classes/quarter is a lot, but then, with that, i should aim higher.
anyways, it's on starting today... so, it'll either end this saturday, or if i wanna push it to 2 weeks, ends next saturday.
(in the future, i think i'll try fasting from the web(i'm been meaning to try to fast from blogging) AND videogames, due to the sheer time that both take outta my daily life, but you always learn to crawl b4 you walk, so let's try this first, k?)
in other news:
i think getting a preamp for me for some reason has just become a lot more impt than saving money to get a delay pedal... alter bridge has convinced me that the delay isn't thinking about quite yet... having a preamp though(playing on a worship team sometime in the year sounds good), would greatly help playing on a stage...
*sigh* nfc still can't beat the afc...
anyone else surprised by the firing of flip? i was... i believe the fault still lies w/the players(specifically, sam i'm NOT and shopping spre)... however, despite the fact that this looks like a blame game, you could argue that players and coaches are interconnected, so if one's screwing up, perhaps the other's also to blame. maybe mchale can turn some things around... hopefully.
looks like boston's starting to earn their 3rd place, hope they can do it, but they did suffer a tough loss @home to the kings...
ouch... warriors couldn't beat hornets, came SO close, but couldn't beat suns...
anybody else get this weird, fuzzy feeling on your tongue after you eat cooked spinach?
heard this pass my ear on sportscenter, but was it really true that reggie white tried to study up on judaism in order to become closer to christianity? heard that ppl ended up thinking he was trying to convert to judaism... and that disturbed him greatly. i would agree too; christianity IS judaism... for him to do so, was to deepen his christian belief, not muddle it... there was this vision he had, where he saw something in hebrew written on a paper in a treasure chest, which was what he was seeking in his entire life... it was "redeemed" in hebrew... also, is reggie white's wife a jew or something? she looks white, so i'm not too sure.
napster's gonna see me sometime in the near future buying 1-2 of their prepaid songcards...
i planned to fast 1-2x each month to remind myself of how god is my king. but this time for feb fast no 1, i'm not doing food; i'm doing something more akin to what daniel in the bible did. i'm giving up my delicacies.
so obviously, this one's gonna be a bit longer. (who fasts for what i'm gonna say for only 1 day? LOL) but let's see how it goes:
no street fighter for 1 week(maybe i might even push it to 2, or 3)
by no street fighter/no fighting games/no video games, i mean:
-i do NOT at all even step inside the muga... if i wanna get some twenties to refill my wallet, i go downtown.
-i do NOT visit srk.com or cv.com or anything related to fighting games or sf
-don't bother looking at any online document relating to sf...
-and don't touch the ps2 at the apt either...
-when i get back, i also can't go to golfland...
-if i do go to fry's, i can't stop by the x-arcade(if they still have 3rd strike there); if possible, try to avoid going to fry's AT ALL...
why am i doing this? it's simple; i'm so sick of having to "rely" on this... i always planned on trying to cut back my arcade time after being given a 2nd chance, but to no avail... studying time's up, but every time i make it to the weekends, instead of keeping up w/the good work, in sheer exhaustion, i just unload in front of the ps2... and waste all the time i've spent in front of the books, so i have to play catchup again... so the least i'm doing is throwing this up on the web and hoping that now that it's made public, that i have to remain true to my word... yes, i know i can do this... but the reason is because not of what i'm losing, but what i'm gaining... when you sacrifice, you'll gain, not the otherway around.
i don't HAVE to do this... but when you believe you're blessed, you should follow up on it. those who have more will be judged higher. and the more i spend in deep, real prayer, the more i believe there is so much that i have been blessed with, either the little, more frequent, daily things, or the big, rare great blessings. stop trying to follow the crowd and follow what's right for a change. so i have to follow up on it. just cause your friends play W.O.W. for huge amts of time each day does not mean you should cave in yourself and play 3rd strike the same way... 4 classes/quarter is a lot, but then, with that, i should aim higher.
anyways, it's on starting today... so, it'll either end this saturday, or if i wanna push it to 2 weeks, ends next saturday.
(in the future, i think i'll try fasting from the web(i'm been meaning to try to fast from blogging) AND videogames, due to the sheer time that both take outta my daily life, but you always learn to crawl b4 you walk, so let's try this first, k?)
in other news:
i think getting a preamp for me for some reason has just become a lot more impt than saving money to get a delay pedal... alter bridge has convinced me that the delay isn't thinking about quite yet... having a preamp though(playing on a worship team sometime in the year sounds good), would greatly help playing on a stage...
*sigh* nfc still can't beat the afc...
anyone else surprised by the firing of flip? i was... i believe the fault still lies w/the players(specifically, sam i'm NOT and shopping spre)... however, despite the fact that this looks like a blame game, you could argue that players and coaches are interconnected, so if one's screwing up, perhaps the other's also to blame. maybe mchale can turn some things around... hopefully.
looks like boston's starting to earn their 3rd place, hope they can do it, but they did suffer a tough loss @home to the kings...
ouch... warriors couldn't beat hornets, came SO close, but couldn't beat suns...
anybody else get this weird, fuzzy feeling on your tongue after you eat cooked spinach?
heard this pass my ear on sportscenter, but was it really true that reggie white tried to study up on judaism in order to become closer to christianity? heard that ppl ended up thinking he was trying to convert to judaism... and that disturbed him greatly. i would agree too; christianity IS judaism... for him to do so, was to deepen his christian belief, not muddle it... there was this vision he had, where he saw something in hebrew written on a paper in a treasure chest, which was what he was seeking in his entire life... it was "redeemed" in hebrew... also, is reggie white's wife a jew or something? she looks white, so i'm not too sure.
napster's gonna see me sometime in the near future buying 1-2 of their prepaid songcards...
Saturday, February 12, 2005
yeah, sacramento isn't exactly like davis... the arden center, aka the cal expo, has a lotta stuff... i'll have to go back some other time; guitar center's there, as well as a buncha other stuff...
our msm bible study group decided to go to cheesecake factory in that area after friday, and while some of us ordered dishes, others ordered different slices of cheesecake and sampled them...
oh yeah, speaking of which, guess who we saw sitting at the cheesecake factory behind us, eating a meal?
mike bibby!
(no, i didn't go up to him and ask for an autograph... neither did most of the others; it looked like he was going to eat, so it would've seen rude to do so; it was funny, because i think we would've left 2 hrs earlier than expected, but since we saw him, some of the girls couldn't decide whether to go up to him or to remain by themselves)... and it was funny, cause when we did go outside, we saw all these cars w/shiny rims on them...
our msm bible study group decided to go to cheesecake factory in that area after friday, and while some of us ordered dishes, others ordered different slices of cheesecake and sampled them...
oh yeah, speaking of which, guess who we saw sitting at the cheesecake factory behind us, eating a meal?
mike bibby!
(no, i didn't go up to him and ask for an autograph... neither did most of the others; it looked like he was going to eat, so it would've seen rude to do so; it was funny, because i think we would've left 2 hrs earlier than expected, but since we saw him, some of the girls couldn't decide whether to go up to him or to remain by themselves)... and it was funny, cause when we did go outside, we saw all these cars w/shiny rims on them...
Thursday, February 10, 2005
random trivia about myself:
do the number of bibles that i own equal the number of headbands(that i use for various sports) that i own? how many of my bibles' book covers match the color of my headbands?
just something to think about if you don't have anything else to; can't believe it hit me today; i'll answer the question about a week from now.
you always learn something new each day, provided you're just willing to actually open your eyes and your ears...
for today: it is good to desire spiritual gifts; however they strengthen your relationship with God, not the belief of others... prophesying is what does help unbelievers.
other; s.fierce(close) will not combo into DP off of a jump-in with ryu in 3rd strike; c.forward is much better, and a lot more consistent.
do the number of bibles that i own equal the number of headbands(that i use for various sports) that i own? how many of my bibles' book covers match the color of my headbands?
just something to think about if you don't have anything else to; can't believe it hit me today; i'll answer the question about a week from now.
you always learn something new each day, provided you're just willing to actually open your eyes and your ears...
for today: it is good to desire spiritual gifts; however they strengthen your relationship with God, not the belief of others... prophesying is what does help unbelievers.
other; s.fierce(close) will not combo into DP off of a jump-in with ryu in 3rd strike; c.forward is much better, and a lot more consistent.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
shin nen qwuy luh...
whenever your new year is, may god continue to enrich your relationship with him and draw you closer to him, to everlasting springs of love...
celebration of discipline: yeah, this book is deep... and it's always good to go back and review it...
as for me and the supposed 2nd new year, i better be getting a fat red envelope soon :)
(this is the mad ups for being a chink over a kook, even though we all know we go to msm and dkc :D although, knowing my mom, i'll prob just get a penny or something :D)
my tv sports cycle during the year is something like this:
winter: nfl, nba spring: nba summer: tennis, olympics if available fall: nba, nfl (always considered myself more of a summer olympics guy than a winter olympics guy)
so now you know; i'm a casual baseball fan. if that wasn't that obvious so far. so yeah, after the pro bowl, you'll know what i'll be thinking about sportswise.
so yea... i'm starting to wonder really how much of minnesota's failures and downfalls this year are tied to mchale's ineptitude to satisfy cassell and spre's checkbook. or are the two players to blame...
yay for gsw for t3h win tonight against the magic!
whenever your new year is, may god continue to enrich your relationship with him and draw you closer to him, to everlasting springs of love...
celebration of discipline: yeah, this book is deep... and it's always good to go back and review it...
as for me and the supposed 2nd new year, i better be getting a fat red envelope soon :)
(this is the mad ups for being a chink over a kook, even though we all know we go to msm and dkc :D although, knowing my mom, i'll prob just get a penny or something :D)
my tv sports cycle during the year is something like this:
winter: nfl, nba spring: nba summer: tennis, olympics if available fall: nba, nfl (always considered myself more of a summer olympics guy than a winter olympics guy)
so now you know; i'm a casual baseball fan. if that wasn't that obvious so far. so yeah, after the pro bowl, you'll know what i'll be thinking about sportswise.
so yea... i'm starting to wonder really how much of minnesota's failures and downfalls this year are tied to mchale's ineptitude to satisfy cassell and spre's checkbook. or are the two players to blame...
yay for gsw for t3h win tonight against the magic!
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