TFC looks like fun; playing CS leads to a lotta spectating at times... i forgot how fun Quake-style gameplay can be... running into battle with a missile launcher and getting kills by splash damage... looks like i'm gonna hafta actually play some of the other half-life games my bro got me in the bday pack... good thing he gave me that instead of just CS...

my saturn's in the shop... boourns... the plus side is that at least i got it in before i did some major damage to it... the coolant temp was pretty much 1 notch away from being overheated... THAT close... i had to pull into a shaded parking lot immediately and let it cool down before i drove to a shop... this happened on thurs...

i'm in isaiah right now... and it's dawned upon me how many predictions of the messiah are seen in this book... a LOT... also, though isaiah was often the messenger of bad news, he never relished giving it... i was thoroughly shocked to see how he mourned the predicted destruction of moab, an enemy to the israelites... what intrigues me most though, was the prediction he gave regarding egypt, in chapter 19, he gives an interesting prediction about how 5 cities in egypt will dedicate themselves to God, and how one of the cities will be named the City of Destruction; and more; i don't really remember the rest of the chapter, but it looked intriguing; there's also the prophesy how Assyria and Egypt will together worship God; is this a prophesy of something to occur at the end of the world? or has it already occured, because Assyria doesn't exist today...

ucla lost today to colorado... tough loss, because they lost 14 to 16, and chiller(that's his name?) managed to block a colorado field goal attempt to turn the ball over to ucla near the end of the game for an attempt to win...

cal i think lost to washington?(not too sure who they played)... it looked pretty bad when i last checked... 7 to 20 before i switched away...

sf won over d'backs today... they won in the 11th inning(!) when the pitcher lost it and ended up walking with bases loaded, 2 outs...

even though it was mainly a TV sports day(fox had mlb, kron had a cal game, abc had the ucla game and a usc game, and cbs had the us open), i settled upon tennis most of the time to watch andy roddick come back from a 2 game deficit to thoroughly whup his Albanian opponent... i just remember laughing at his funny last name a few days ago when i heard about him... today was the 1st time i saw him play... DAMN! he HAS to be one of the best new rising stars in us tennis! he reminds me so much of philippoussis, except he's a lot faster! he just ACED so much times during the match that i watched him! mustve been 35+ for a duration of 5 sets! the guy's got talent, and i wouldn't want to go head-to-head with one of his 135 mph wide-angle serves! go roddick!

ok, for some reason i wrote up a HUGE bunch yesterday, only to find the library's internet somehow got rid of my entire entry... let's try this again...

why do i wear a green headband when i play bball? i dunno, really... i know for SURE i don't play like Paul Pierce(although i like him, and i like his style, aside from just liking the color green, all reasons why i wear a headband, specifically a GREEN one)... makes me wonder if i wanna get a green elbow band and put it on my right hand just to make me look more like a left-handed Paul Pierce... although my right elbow doesn't break out in sweats that much...

i think my post moves on offense are MUCH stronger than i first imagined... i had fairly good success playing against hubert on sunday... POSTING UP! imagine that! of course, i wasn't owning him on offense(a couple of my post-up hook shots missed, though they weren't blocked), and i was lucky to even block his shot once on defense, i again, had fairly good success... sunk a couple of up-close hook shots with him d'ing up on me, better than if i were trying to use my foot speed to beat him... i combined that with a few outside perimeter jumpers, and that was good enough...

i'll add more later... at home, and mom needs to use the phone... *sigh*... college stuff is beginning to bog me down, just thinking of what i need to do now... i hope God helped me to make the right schedule additions to my sophomore schedule...

sammy ward - it's for you
(i like this song; oldie but goodie)

song of songs gives the impression that God did intend man and woman to be together; their words are often erotic, and they take turns praising each other. what you notice though, is that for something to be this erotic and be in the bible, it is natural, the way God intended. there's no flirting, everything's sincere, and what they get too heated, they remind each other not to arouse love until it desires. there's also no dominance; it's mutual.

ecclesiastes is bogging me down... well, it shouldn't, cause people who wrote this only thought life ended when you died... 6 more chapters to go...

man, it IS labor day weekend! what the? how'd time slip outta my grasp?

time's winding down for this summer break... i gotta make something count... fast...

i find todd agnew's insights upon worship to be rather neat... www.air1.com... breathing worship concept... hmmm...

later, library's closing...

today's engrish.com is so friggin bad... prompted me to whisper an "UUUGGGH!" at the library... it's funny, but i still can't believe i saw it...

i notice backblog is down... not that anyone but bob reads AND comments on my writings anyhow... (well, ok, steven, but off the top of head, that's about it)

warriors are really confusing me as to all the trades they've done... they claim that now there's stability in their team, but really, they were MAJORLY set back... playoffwise...

Proverbs 21:2...

FM Static - Crazy Mary:

CRAZY MARY'S A SLOGAN, WHO LOOKS UP TO NO ONE, WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR A COLD ONE, AND WISHES SHE COULD FIND HER WAY HOME. SHE'S GOT THAT LOOK ON HER FACE, AND HER STARE'S LIKE A RAY GUN, AS WE WALK BY EVERYDAY AND, I WISH THERE'S SOMETHIN' I COULD DO FOR HER.

MAYBE IF, I TOOK A LITTLE TIME TO TALK, THEN SHE'D HEAL A LITTLE IF SHE WANTS TO, SHE CAN RUN, BUT LET'S TEACH HER HOW TO WALK AWAY NOW. I'LL SHAKE A LITTLE IF SHE WANTS TO, SHE'LL, LAUGH A LITTLE IF SHE NEEDS TO, THERE’S A KEY TO THE DOOR THAT SHE'S HIDING BEHIND

SHE WATCHES THE WORLD PASS HER BY LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN, AND THEY ALL CALL HER THE SAME NAMES, LAUGHING AS THEY POINT AND STARE AT HER. SO SHE CRIES, OUT TO GOD UP IN HEAVEN, BEEN PRAYIN' SINCE SHE WAS ELEVEN, FOR HIM TO SEND SOMEONE TO MEET HER THERE.

AND WHO KNOWS OF HER THOUGHTS AND HER DREAMS, AND IDEAS SHE'S GOT, AND CONTAINS INSIDE, SHE'S SO BROKEN APART, AND HER HEART IS STILL LOOKING FOR SOME WAY TO FEEL ALRIGHT.

(this song is, IMO, a song which is ministry; do we reach out to people like these? they're commonplace people, and yet, we ignore them)

thank you God for sending Rev Terrance Nichols to our 2K3 retreat; part of me feels bad for him though; azns are SOOO unexpressive sometimes in worship and sermons... (someone plz say "sho, yo right!" or something :D) in any case, i hope i don't lose the messages he gave us; i hope i go deeper and am willing to leave everything behind... i know God is probably using him in such a great way...

so, without spewing out EVERYTHING into my journal about how retreat went, i'll just put down what i thought was noteworthy...

-i should never ever forget that being a christian means you need to go DEEPER with christ; if you don't, you should seriously deny being a christian in the 1st place... i won't forget nichols' reference to Alexander the Great and his cowering soldier sharing the same name; what he alluded to was so true; either change your name, or change your ways. how can we call ourselves christians in the 1st place if we can't demonstrate how much we're in love with christ and loving life, fishing for men? remember, if we don't we're just doing the "woulda, coulda, shoulda"... part of me wishes laura and lydia joined us, but i can't comment, because i didn't hear colleen wong's sermons; perhaps they were equally effective or better...
-God bless CTCC's sound system; i never realized how much i took it for granted until i plugged 2 efx pedals into a surge protector @Redwood... you could hear some buzzing noise throughout the speakers, and i had to force myself to not tune down the guitar(when i did, you couldn't hear my guitar at all) that static when playing in worship out of embarassment... all in all though, after a few minor mishaps the 1st day, i was able to settle in... ah yes; worshipping in casual clothing... on sunday... i've only done that in church, ONCE...
-i really appreciated terrance nichols' attempts to get to know us college guys during one of our discussions; it showed he cared... he sat in with us, and talked with us...
-basil was around most of saturday... dude, that guy's funny... right up there with louis, and yes, louis cracked me up during retreat as well...
-campfire was also good; giving thanks, playing songs, eating smores later(mmm... now i want some...)... only complaint was my lack of a flashlight, making it hard to see... again, being at retreat just makes me see how much justin has changed spiritually...
-laura said "chee-sze" thinking that might've been taiwanese for cheese during our church photo; i of course had to tell her that "chee-sze" was a taiwanese swear word, and that i personally found that out when i copied my mom saying that word and got rebuked for it :D
-saw mars(so bright, it was rather easy too); and a buncha other stars; DAMN! when there's no smog, the sky is BEAUTIFUL! just like God intended! indeed! the heavens DO declare the glory of God!
-bball: first off, i didn't take care of myself too well the few days prior to the retreat, so i was playing with a stuffy nose; that contributed to my fatigue; i felt it HARD when i was resting on one side of the court defensively and waiting for the others to come up... but excuses aside, the current young side of the youth group IS very energetic, calvin is going to be an even greater baller, and they won, i can't contest that... our team was a youth group-young adult team of george, louis, jon, justin and me(strangely enough, this team was comprised of 2 brothers, 2 cousins, 2 collegians, 2 youth groupers, and 1 former counselor to 2 former youth... think about that...)... it was fun, cause there were highlights, despite our loss:
1)i landed 3/4 hook shots... that IMO was huge...
2)2 blocks... on grace's friend(why didn't i ask what his name was? oh well)
3)it was easy for me driving into the lane... however, part of the reason we lost was cause right after going in, i just passed it to someone, and then it got stolen... also, on some fast breaks, i couldnt get the ball and land the shot...
4)jon was AND1 during this game... haha... i remember him rolling the ball between michael's legs, running behind, getting the ball then shooting it... that was funny...
(and also not part of the 2 games i played, but... i think maybe i can actually do a pump-fake layup... i was surprised to get it off a couple times during my practice... if i work on it, i could get a pump-fake reverse layup... work on my ballhandling and foot speed, and i might be able to do more damage on the inside... also, note to self: work on post moves, like getting the hook shot DOWN)
oh yeah, basil called me walter macarthy :D just like a buncha others did; do NOT call me paul pierce until i can get my spin move down and can throw pump-fake layups all over the place, as well as nail perimeter shots anywhere...

but yeah... i pretty much threw out all the thoughts i had in general about retreat... i like how it seems as time passes by just how much God has matured all of us; this year we did ball of course, and hard, but we were also paying attention to God when it mattered(i think)...

oh yea, part of me sees how the greater our gifts, the greater the responsibility we have to exercise; the guys stayed up LATE on saturday(going til 4:30; ack!) i had to excuse myself around 1:00(and that was already pushing my biological clock) to go to sleep; when God gives you a desire to worship and the gifts to do it, you gotta follow through...

i now realize that i can actually bring my laptop into the saratoga library and set up a cable connection... so technically i could actually cs a bunch in the library now during the remainder of summer! i'd also be very tempted to start dling a buncha songs and games(and get caught in the process), but i think i'd just settle on dling X-Men COTA(i miss the game already; shouldn't have deleted it from my laptop in the first place), and the files necessary to run the free guitar software i found on the internet recently.

i'm getting better at mahjongg... i've improved a bunch playing it on my cpu, and even won some! i think i really know how to play the game now... just need to rememeber what the chinese numbers are...

santana- why don't you and i (featuring the lead singer from "the calling")
i love this song... great to know there's still some REAL lead guitar talent in contemporary music.

phil's right; the drum roll loops on my "in the secret" song sound like the drummer just od'd on meth or something... is there such thing as being high on god? :D i need to improve it; most drummers transition with maybe a snare, tom-tom1, tom-tom2, tom-tom3, bass, then high crash; mine, eh, let's just say it literally sounded like a drummer on crack...

steven seagal... when's the last time i watched something from him? anyways, under siege 2's awesome though... like joe from family guy says, "YES! YES! BRING ON THE PAAAIN! BRING ON THE PAAAIN!"

sugar-coated happiness is really stupid, cause in the end, when you lick off the sugar-coated layer, there's nothing left... what i'm talking about is happiness that is just frontal, and is comprised of surrounding yourself with a buncha friends or money or something like that... shallow stuff... who are you kidding? the joy that comes from God will never change, despite your circumstances. i can be in the lowest of lows, and still be able to hold my head up high, why? cause the peace of God, which transcends all things, will guard you.

for some reason my nose is stuffy recently; that has forced me to breathe through my mouth when i sleep, making it dry and that meant my throat hurt everytime i tried to swallow; i compensated by making extra sure that i breathed through my nose the 2nd day, but that only caused a headache and increased fatigue(breathing through stuffy nose=less O2)... i feel better today though, so praise God...

simple-minded ppl, fools, and mockers; the 3 things proverbs warn us never to be; simple ppl are always too lazy to change, and never do much, fools are a LOT harsher in the bible than anywhere else; a fool is moral-deficient, and gets no sound advice from anyone. mockers are the worst; they not only rebel against God, but mock others.

note to self: save engrish.com photos from aug 18 and aug 7... go look at them readers... they made me die... aug 7 ESPECIALLY made my brother die too...

2 events that happened this weekend... wesley senior nite occurred, and chris liu came back... i plan on giving wes the .mp3 of the song i made when i return to davis and get high-speed internet going again... a buncha good ol fun-n-games, as well as a few goof-off blunders about wes' gifts(i still can't believe someone said "make out room" not "make up room" should be appropriate for a door sign)... as for chris liu, it was awesome to see him back... he gave a great sermon on sunday... not often we see a powerpoint sermon... it could be because our church is so bright inside(that could be something we could consider pouring money into; curtains that we could lower to darken the building during the day if necessary)... anyways, more or less the sermon emphasized that God's all that we need, and he showed us 5 gods we often put before him:

1)popularity; it doesn't even have to be getting everyone's attention; just how do you want people to react to you?
2)success; self-explanatory; society puts a HUGE emphasis on this, and i just wish i personally wouldn't succumb to it as much
3)entertainment; anything we do to give us a feel-good feeling goes under here, even eating and sleeping; probably my weak spot; in that i'm a sucker for fighting games, and sometimes, i can devote a lotta time to this online journal; i should remind myself that i don't HAVE to write down every single aspect of my life here...
4)relationships; some ppl have this more than others, but yeah...
5)god-service; this one's interesting; do you serve for unwarranted motives? i know i have to struggle with this everytime i'm onstage sunday

(on a side note, it was funny seeing the powerpoint blunder of "Chris Jesus my Lord"... i think everyone saw that)

so phil's back... and gone... since the last time i wrote this... hot pot city is actually a pretty nice eatery... too bad it's so far away... i pretty much stained a large portion of my "KG4MVP" t-shirt(!!! i wish i had brought a dark t-shirt! i had no idea you'd get stained fairly easily) diving into korean BBQ ribs all night... spending time with phil's just awesome... it's really too bad that he has so little time to spend with me nowadays... makes me really wish it was still in the 90s just so i could reexperience the times i spent in the summer with phil... but the interesting thing is i'm seeing how maybe God really did intend that i go to UCD... as opposed to somewhere else... it seems that the med school that phil goes to tends to send him to the UCs to do med work to where of all places? davis! now i just gotta see why else God intended for me to go to Davis over someplace else... oh yeah he recorded a song on my cpu using my recording equipment too :D i'll need to mix it so that it sounds good :D phil also gave me a KG bobblehead; you won't know how much this thing cracks me up til you see me play w/it in my room! and the last thing: spending time w/phil makes me really wanna reconsider learning low-post moves; he convinced me i'm more suited for it than i think... i'll give it a try sometime soon, but of course i also wanna learn to get the spin move down; there's a reason i wear a green headband :D

i remember coming across this in the psalms; seems that sean hall was influenced by psalm 63 when he wrote "water":
1.O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
3.Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
(i wish i could be influenced by the psalms in writing a new song, but seems i just don't seem to have anything click; i should go back a reread the psalms carefully; maybe i'll find something)

after coming through job, it seems that the psalms(as i'm almost done with the book) are more out-of-place in the bible than i first imagined! there's so much cursing on your enemies! i have to remember though, that these psalms expressed AGONY; this was how the psalmists felt when they were writing these poems in times of hardships; it's just like job in the midst of his 3 friends; he was yelling out things, but he was just being a lot more vocal about how he felt; a lot of us don't say the same things in our troubles, but we feel the same way inside. another thing is that this was written before jesus came and offered forgiveness, and that they in essence paved the way for it. also, the thing about old testament writers was that they had a REALLY vague idea of the afterlife; your relationship with God CAN continue or end permanently in the afterlife; because they had no idea that this could occur, they expected justice to occur NOW

btw, i came across something that confirmed what i remembered a jewish classmate when i was in 6th grade said; the israelites crossed the Sea of Reeds, or the Reed Sea, NOT the Red Sea; if you look upon a map, you'll see the Reed Sea blocking the path northward from Egypt; i think the Red Sea is somewhere off. at first i didn't see how the bible confirmed this, but then i noticed a footnote in the NIV bible which pointed this out; so praise God; his words' still intact and precise; our bible is no different than the jewish-accepted old testament... we just need to read the footnotes a bit more occasionally

i'm out; i've already written too much: my agenda for tonight/tomorrow morning?(ignore this you readers; one of my personal notes again)
songwriting, finish psalms, steven seagal, denzo software

the current xanga crisis makes me glad i'm a blogspot-er... for the moment... :D

Psalm 49: the psalm which shows how money and fame are nothing... eh... when i reread it, i'll decide whether to include that in the links above(there does seem to be a LOT of bible verse i'm linking)

Psalm 53 is like a deja vu of the Psalm 14... strange, eh?

i wonder why david exhibits such angry words for his enemies in the Psalms... i know the Psalms were truly written from the heart, but IMO it gives testamony to how david was not a perfect man... ppl of the Old Testament believed that justice would be served in the earthly realm, as they had no conception that life would continue in the afterlife. and yet, david exhibited such love for saul... goes to show how much more david wasn't perfect, eh?

i'll write later today... i have more to say, but can't think of anything right now...

1st time this summer i played bball with the young adults this sunday... (while i still wish i was 7 ft'd so i could be a better baller and could dunk, part of me is spiritually glad i'm not that tall... it forces me to be a team player, as opposed to doing everything myself, and thus crucifies my pride everytime i have to remember that; nevertheless, i still wish i were taller)
in any case, i think it's really how evident how much i should cherish my youth, or if that's not the issue, my quickness in feet, and using that to be a team player; i was all over the place setting screens for others(funny how john actually out loud thanked me for setting a screen for him while the ball was still in play :D) and try to block ppl repeatedly(a lotta times, failing, but i had my gems of moments)... trying to break free to get some uncontested buckets... i remember hitting 3 jumpers in a row, and another time, ALMOST hitting a reverse layup... too bad i had to do some idiotic travelling violation when i lost my mind some other time... *cringes*... i do have to admit it's fun having george and torrence on your team... torrence has some nice inside moves, and george can hit a lot of jumpers pretty well... but maybe we'll just attitribute torrence's dominence to "ERIC!" :D

perhaps it's really dawning on me just how much old testament writers didn't believe in an afterlife; you see this during the psalms; emphasis of the bad getting what they deserve, and the good getting what they deserve; modern-day christianity we know acknowledge that sometimes life in this world isn't what we want it to be, but the afterlife will be fair. btw, when i stumbled upon psalm 22, i notice just how much similarity it was compared to jesus and his suffering; v7-8 refers to how ppl mock him and tell him to save himself, v14 refers to jesus' side being pierced, producing a flow of perecardial fluid... and blood... as well as the crucifixation dislocating his shoulder joints... v15 alludes to jesus thirsting on the cross... v16 refers to the hand and feet wounds of the nails... v18 refers to how jesus' clothing was divided... v22-23,27,31 refers to the need for evangelism... v26 refers to the promise of salvation... and it goes on... so surprising... i'm sure the only old testament passage which really compares to this is the ones found in isaiah...

oh yeah; niners WHUPPED the chiefs on saturday... 24-6... WOW... go niners! gluck garcia, plz recover soon!

i might need a usb drive... kinda tough transferring a 6+ MB file from my bro's cpu to my laptop... and i'm not too sure the filesplit program i have can do the trick...

have a lot to say, and library closes in 30, so let's get down to it:

bball yesterday: it was fun. first of all, i finally made my first under-the-legs layup(not in a real game though, sadly)... sam attributes it to my hangtime, which is why i keep wanting my ideal height to be 7 ft; nothing like being able to dunk and shoot over other ppl... strangely, i kept missing all my shots again(except for one layup i think)... and THEN, when it actually gets dark around 8:30, all my outside shots start hitting over wes' block attempts! what the? (and i mustve shot at least 3 shots in the dark)... maybe it's my night vision... thank God for the vitamin A, eh? i love crossing from right to left, then pulling up immediately to fire one... and tim gave me a couple pointers that might improve what i do when i get a screen...

celebration of discipline: it's done... what intrigues me is how foster ended the book on the discipline of celebration, and it got me seriously thinking: ykno, he's right; christians do have the truth in them, but they're not supposed to wander around depressed about life(and yet all these youths and college ppl around me are doing so), hoping to just get through this life; we're supposed to be breaking forth, dancing about, and stuff! soak up life! it was also nice how he ended with it, emphasising how joy helps us to carry through on those disciplines, and the disciplines' end result is joy, producing a never-ending cycle... do i celebrate? yes, and no; for me personally, i can ALWAYS celebrate when i worship; for me, it's just natural now; even if i'm alone and just listening to christian worship or christian rock .mp3s on my laptop, my head starts bobbing, and randomly i'll get up just to jump around and point to heaven... but i feel that i'm taking the other disciplines too seriously... i just wish God would help me out there...

concerning my bible study: i'm done w/job, and beginning psalms; i'll comment on psalms later, but for now, i'll list these verses, as they stand out in my head:
Ps 16:8, Ps 19:1

as for job, the thing you have got to remember is that God seemed very far away; for job, all that mattered was that he saw God; that was it; you noticed how after God saw job that that was all job wanted; he admitted he had nothing else to say, and repented, even while still in ruins. basically, God told job, "who are you to question what i do? if you can't even take on the best of my creation, how can you take on me?" however, one of the things i have realized is that God felt that he was always far apart, and didn't really ever get suffering; that's why Jesus came to earth; to die for our sins, but also so he could relate, as he suffered pretty much all there is to human suffering, so now when we gripe, "God you don't understand" his reply will be "i have been there; don't think for one moment that i don't understand how you're feeling; don't lose heart; i'm bearing the burden with you as we speak"

to end, i watched kqed today when they had "grilling maestros" on, and it was interesting how the 1st guy explained how they were going to grill a new york steak(mmm....) with sauteed shallots, crab meat, asparagus, and melting brie cheese all on top... oooh man... they called it like a "steak oscar" or something like that; i'll look to see if they have the receipe somewhere online, but man, that much be hecka tasty, but killer on your health...

hmm... corporate guidance... never really thought about that one before... haven't we all been concentrating upon what God has to do to guide the individual? the early church was so powerful because they met together in unity and prayer... (come to think about it a huge problem i believe with the modern church is that there is too little emphasis on solitude when it's needed, and too little emphasis on individualism when unity is needed; the 1st occurs when we're too busy to set aside time each workday to come before God and to REALLY ask what he wants or just to chill with him, the 2nd occurs when we think that what we hear from God by ourselves is immediately true and don't try to verify this feeling with others)

speaking of which, why don't christians ever get together in small groups just for the idea of praise? the idea was brought up in "Celebration of Discipline," and i'm wondering why we don't even try bothering with that idea... we get together for small group bible study, we get together for small group prayer time, but we NEVER get together JUST to praise God... and yet the bible commands that we should! you, reader, tell me, why DON'T we ever do this? why must worship be considered a "large group" thing? i'm starting to feel like this more and more, and i'm wondering why we can't do something about this... and i'm talking about no more than 10 ppl type small groups... i mean, outside of our praise band's saturday morning practice, there's never the sight of small group praise... we should make it more commonplace... i think it's a good thing... comments?

air combo finishers that initiate the flying screen effect in XvSF that cause an arc lead to some pretty POWERFUL corner combos; for some reason the damage that they do don't scale down that easily, and they take off the red life bar a lot better than the other moves, not to mention infinites that involve them almost NEVER dizzy the opponent

love this XvSF Charlie combo:
d.c.jab->c.strong->s.fierce xx sonic break(mash fully), sonic break(mash 4/5th of the way), repeatedly wavedash, then
d.c.short->c.fierce/\ sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forward xx forward air somersault kick, sj.roundhouse(otg)\/c.fierce/\ sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forward->sj.fierce->sj.roundhouse, sj.roundhouse
does a TON of damage(i'd say about 7/9 of the entire life bar); i'm wondering if it's fully guarenteed though... maybe the opponent can roll after the air somersault kick? otherwise, it looks like a guarenteed combo outside of that...

netzero's just keeps getting slower; i was lucky to be able to dl kazaa lite AND windows media player 7.1 yesterday... so i guess i'll just have to figure out "cry holy" tonight...

i'm wondering if i'll ever be able to finish what i had in mind for this summer...

i think i'll try to tab sonicflood's cry holy tonight(if i can dl it for that simple purpose); y'kno, something about sonicflood; sure, i think they're a great worship band, but a bit simplistic on the guitar... nevertheless, that's what different bands are for; besides, it's not that they're completely unimprovisational...

i kinda liked how i backed up bob on sunday during "everything that has breath;" while he was playing E, D#, C#m, A, B x2 to intro the song, i backed him up by coming in with this on the 2nd loop:

000007, 000900, 000900, 000007, 000900 (played this while he was playing E)
000800, 000800, 000007, 000800, 000007, 000800 (played this while he was playing D#)
000600, 000600, 000007, 000600, 000007, 000600 (played this while he was playing C#m)
000007/000009, 000009, 000009, 000007 (played this when he was playing A, B)

looks confusing? intimidated by what i wrote? don't worry; it's hard writing down EXACTLY what i played, but that's the skeleton of what i played; it sounded pretty good IMO; one of the reasons why i like having 2 guitarists in music bands now; one is the rhythm guitarist and does the skeleton of the melody, ykno, the chords, while one's the lead guitarist and can fill; i have a preference for lead guitarists, but sometimes when they're just riffing and filling away, the air sounds empty without any background noise; not so when there's a rhythm guitarist... (also semi-explains why i don't see it as "acoustic guitarist" and "electric guitarist" anymore)

though the college freshman girls joined us during the young adult's sunday school, i did internally wonder if they were confused on the stuff and would rather be with the youth group's sunday school... but girls aren't dumb... more or less i was wondering if they needed to hear the previous weeks' lessons to really get it...

wasted most of the day again... figures... i stayed inside and didn't songwrite so far...

more job-age today... it was essentially more of the same thing; the conversations got to a standoff though; job solemnly swore he did NOT do wrong, and that pretty much ended the debate... now i just have to read elihu and god's conversations, and i'm done w/the book...

man, should've checked out robin cook's "shock"; now i can't find it, but heck, maybe i can find it at barnes & noble and just read that... i don't need to be control of EVERYTHING...

a net-less hoop DOES throw off your shot... seems like the net gives a sense of persception that isn't found with just the rim... no wonder i was playing "team player" more successfully on saturday than doing stuff myself and shooting... i still would've been playing "team player" regardless because i haven't played bball for at least a week now... it's too late for me to get some serious practice today, but i can try tomorrow...

dude... As > NY yesterday... i loved the 9th inning... NY was up 1-0, and were first up; As managed to hold them back... then comes the As' turn... with a runner on 1st and 3rd, Miguel Tejada comes up to bat, and almost homers it to win the game; the outfielder couldn't catch the falling ball, since it rocheted off the wall, then he made an error in picking up the ball... As win 2-1... that's right! leave it to Tejada!

ok... i'm pretty much sitting blank right now at the cpu, cause i can't think of anything witty/insightful to type, so apparently i've run outta juice... i'm out...

library's gonna close really soon...

i wish i could be unashamed to praise God whenever, wherever...

ok that's it; i'll write later...

i remembered that there were some new testament verses in the bible that jesus said about plain honest speech; mainly, letting your yes be yes and your no be no, so i decided to add that to the bible links i had up there(sometimes we can be so flaky, so i want that verse to be easily referenced by me that i might never forget it; i am very tempted to point fingers at who doesn't keep their word, but sometimes i do it too, so i'll leave it at that); there was one i found in james, but i thought the one found in matt 5:36-37 was better, although i find the thought of james the person interesting; here's why; he was jesus' biological younger brother. imagine that; now i'm not too sure how many siblings jesus had, but i'm sure james wasn't the only one. still, imagine what it would be like to be james; jesus is your brother, and yet, also creator of the heavens and the earth! so on one point, he is totally in line with you, but on another token, he is beyond anything you are. also, correct me if i'm wrong, but james ended up believing in jesus AFTER he died and rose again. i'm sure most of us younger siblings often feel proud of our older siblings(you have NO IDEA how much i admire my bro, who is about 8 years older than i am), but imagine what it would've been like to be james... it boggles my mind...

(on a side note, it's strange concerning older and younger siblings, how most of my closer friends are all older siblings of their respective families...)

i wonder how the idea that jesus would come from the line of david makes sense; you realize that joseph never had any sexual relations with mary before she became pregnant(cue bill clinton's "i did NOT have any sexual relations with that woman"); but then again, it's understandable; to say that the savior would come from mary's lineage would sound kinda disgracing, since the jewish people at the time placed great emphasis on men. to be anal though, you'd have to say that the messiah would come from mary. still, the prophesies aren't really UNTRUE; you realize that joseph DID come from the line of david, and jesus WAS joseph's son... in a way, you could say joseph adopted jesus from the holy spirit, and thus the savior DID come from the family line

close to 2 chapters from finishing Celebration of Disciplines; i know it looks like i'm concentrating too much on finishing the book to pay close attention, but sometimes i feel tedious note-taking ruins the fun of reading; the hours just get eaten... so once i'm done i'll go back and reread to really get it... i realize one HUGE temptation of reading this book is to say "oh i didn't do discipline 'x' like Foster said!" but really, if you just have Christ guide you, everything'll be alright; one thing that DOES concern me is how i sometimes am not too sure God is speaking to me; God is not just a god of words, and so that leaves some mystery in how he communicates with us; but i'll pray about it, and ask that he might continue to help me hear him out; hey, it'll heighten my worship experience! :D

jeremy camp - take my life

HERE I AM BEFORE YOU NOW
LIKE A CHILD I'M REACHING OUT
HERE I AM I'M GIVING ALL I CAN
BREAKING MY PRIDE I FEEL I'M THROUGH
SHATTERED INSIDE I RUN TO YOU
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

TAKE MY LIFE
TAKE MY MIND
TAKE MY SOUL
TAKE MY WILL
I AM YOURS NOW AND I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE MY KING
OFFERING ALL MY EVERYTHING
LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE THE I ONE I SERVE
I CAN UNDERSTAND THE REASONS WHY
YOU CAME ON THIS EARTH AND DIED
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

I CAN FEEL YOU ON MY SHOULDER
SO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE
I CAN SEE YOU PAINT MY PICTURE
THE BEAUTY IS ALL THERE

today's engrish.com cracked me up a bit; if i wasn't in a library i'd be laughing my @$$ off:
it's a woman wearing a sweatshirt that says "no guy will ever fancy me"
(ugh! you drive a hard bargain!)

i read up to ch 20 of job today, and i'm starting to feel that maybe people who don't understand why God feels so far away when good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people should read this book. the student bible i have that phil gave me had a good insight in it concerning the book, but i kinda wanna look at that later, but what surprised me was the coming across of this extremely high-hoping thought by job, even when he was in the midst of his greatest despair:

Job 19:25-27
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him with my own eyes-I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

it appears that people make the misconception that good people prosper, and bad people suffer IN THIS LIFETIME; that was the big mistake of job's 3 friends. but it's not true; what IS true is that that justice only gets served after the end of the world has come about. no wonder why there's such a misconception amongst the secular society that many people will go to heaven cause they've been a "fairly good person"
another thing you'll notice about job is that the best advice you can give to a suffering person is simply to sit in compassionate silence; look at the damage that was done by job's 3 friends! i keep seeing how job constantly asked his friends, "why aren't you being supportive?"

man, i haven't read robin cook's stuff in a long time; so when i tried to today, i was a bit confused for a while seeing all the medical jargon he uses; at least i was intelligent enough to know the procedure he was describing at the beginning was the process of cloning by nuclear transfer...

i'm sorry, i meant what cell phones were better... but more or less you can still throw your inputs out...

today's verse of the day:

1st John 2:17
The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever

it never occurred to me just how meaningless the secular life is; i fall victim to it too; like i wasted a TON of time today just marvelling at how i can now do the full 4-hit chain for Psylocke's air combo in MSH today cause of some special setup i found out; and then a voice inside my head hit me; "is that all you can lean on for substanence?" i mean, really, what gives? maybe i really should get back to what my life should be all about... what i intended my summers should be all about...

wow... my mom surprised me by asking me what cell phone deals were better yesterday; i asked why; she said she might be considering to getting me one; so if you guys have any deals you think are good, throw em out on the comment link below; i'm all ears

it's wes' bday today!(kinda makes me wish i had about 30+ already recorded .mp3s, then i could just give him a USB drive for his bday; one chock full of those 30+ songs, that is)

man, i should've gotten up earlier today; i could've gone to CTCC and helped out w/their VBS...

something that confounds me is how some ppl APPEAR to look pumped up for christ during school days; then they come back, and everything looks unchanged... like why the heck do you keep showing up late for church, as well as joining the youth during sunday school, instead of the young adults? i thought you were refined! where's the deeds portion of your faith?

its amazing how sometimes ppl you THINK you know surprise you by paying attention in sunday school, and showing interest

j.forward->j.fierce\/d.c.jab->c.fierceXXqcb+2k,c.short(otg)->c.fierce/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.forwardxxqcb+2k

sometimes i just wanna be left alone w/God... let me muse in my own thoughts, and let the holy spirit whisper things into my ears; don't bother me or call me up during these times; you ruin the potential there; you and your gotta-always-do-things-in-a-rush-w/others-mentality...

i started on JOB today; i'll comment later tonight or tomorrow...

newest find on the web for me today(will add it to the links sometime later):

Shareware Music Machine

this site's great for songwriters and stuff; you can find all the freeware and shareware music software stuff you ever need, more or less, to record or have fun, music-wise; very useful; chances are, it's linked somewhere here. one of the gems i found yesterday was the Audio Phonics Guitar Tuner; a freeware guitar tuner software program that is IMO THE best guitar tuner i've ever used; just plug either a mic or cable into your sound card, open the program and pluck the guitar strings; the program can even read octaves higher or lower so the correct key isn't a problem. it can even save special key preferences(like if you like playing with 1/2 step down from a drop D a lot); the 1st time i used it, i was surprised just how sensitive the tuner is... personally, i already have a tuner, but this makes it a LOT more convenient if i'm tuning at home; no need to unplug my whole guitar setup, plug into the tuner, just to tune it; all i need to do is just open the program...

i was surprised to see how the discipline of servitude extends beyond the act of serving; more or less any act which puts others first is an act of serving; listening to others, holding others in high regard by not gossipping, etc, are all excellant ways of being a servant... even letting yourself be served is an act of serving(you're recognizing spiritual authority, hence serving others)

joe's belated bday dinner was cool; we went to frankie, joannie, and luigi too! i'm still not really used to ground beef into tomato sauce; the whole thing tastes pretty salty! i had the veal parmigiana from last time... so that was good...

western conference comments on my fave teams there:
looks like minnesota's gonna be formidable again... spree, cassell, KG... i dunno what you did in minnesota phil, but i love it!
spurs... are always gonna be spurs... i hope they counter lakers again this year... go ginobili and duncan!
hope the best for kings, and warriors, as always...
(i hope they broadcast US bball on local TV when it comes up...)

james 2:14,17-19,26; added to my list of bible verses; seriously, it is that important; james emphasizes the important of faith WITH deeds; of course, deeds by itself is legalism... but it is hard to see faith without deeds... it really is...

dude... i just came across the most coolest-looking fender stratocastor picture today when i was venturing in my bro's room; phil has MOUNDS of books/mags for guitars, and in one of the mags, i saw this full-page picture of a completely CLEAR, SEE-THROUGH fender stratocastor(i'll have to show you a pic of it bob); it's beautiful; it was originally worth $1,000, but now it's probably worth 50x+ more than that now! it was the one they showcased to introduce the fender to the guitar world...

oh yeah, i read in reader's digest of how maybe the view of a soul isn't so far-fetched, medically-wise; there were reports of people who were in surgical procedure; brain-dead, but somehow they had an out-of-body-experience and could see themselves being operated upon; doctors still don't buy it, and i'm not surprised; "if they will not even believe moses, then they will not believe when someone rises from the dead" was something jesus said during his life on earth. if you wanna google this, the term used is called "near death experience," or NDE

i thought after MJ left the Wizards that i'd finally ditch my loyalty to them; boy was i wrong; Arenas(damnit! he values money over loyalty) is going to Washington... we will miss you, Gilbert... we really will...

so instead, GSW picks up Speedy Claxton from SAS... i dunno... i believe he's not going to be as good as arenas, but he WAS a good help during game 6 of the finals(parker was of surprisingly NO help during game 6)... bob, you're a spurs-warriors fan, what'd you think?

esther is done... strangely, of all the books in the bible that i have read front to back, this one seems to have no credit to God... it's maybe only implied, and you realize that the jews that refused to go back to jerusalem(remember the 70 years of exile had been over by this time, since Cyrus was the one who liberated the jews, and the reign after him led to Xerxes, the king in this book) and stayed back in persia were more concerned about money and position than God himself. esther also apparently had no concern for being married to a pagan king who apparently treated esther more like a toy than a human being. however, it goes to show how God does watch over his people, even when they don't even know their own father or have their priorities straight... ever notice how well israel is doing compared to its other middle eastern neighbors recently? it's not picture-perfect, but still a lot better...
i don't wanna elaborate on anything more, cause the story almost feels more like a legend than an actual document; it is true though, cause it has been backed up...

this is the discipline of submission, in a nutshell:
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)
and let's remember this: self-denial is not hating yourself; it is putting someone else, mainly God, first, then the people you come in contact with everyday, and then yourself

today's engrish.com cracks me up... homo soap... that's one thing you shouldn't drop in the bathroom! :D

haha... is this me you guys?

Neurotic

read the bio and see how much he and i am related; no, i insist this is NOT me... but look at his bio and what i say about myself in person, especially how he songwrites; pretty similar huh? (i'm gonna have to dl his songs sometime when i get back to school)

looking further at the google searches w/the same name, so many ppl doing successful stuff; UCLA, princeton, driving beemers, and yet look at me... though God would say otherwise

oh yeah; the very first link for a google search for jerm's full first and last name brings up a doctor under the dept of biosci and biotech... lucky boy...

sometimes the human reaction to unfortunate circumstances leads us to just act incredibly weird; we dispise our circumstances, then we begin to hate ourselves, hate God, hate whatever we can think of for the upbringing of our current circumstances, other people... anything that we somehow think is connected to our circumstances... what we all gotta do is just stop, admit your faults, and come back to God, trusting him, then just forget your frustrations and worries, and then thank God...

confronting your fears is perhaps the only way you're ever gonna have release from any anxiety which stems from it...

ok... nehemiah's done, onto esther...

praise night was fun... it was small, there were some people whom i wished should've went, but didn't(wrong priorities, maybe?), but in the end, it did what all praise/prayer nights should've done; set aside a night for intercessory prayer and praise... some of the songs were slow, but i had no big deal with it; when YOU'RE the one leading, nothing's boring(mainly cause i got to pick and fool around with ways to play each song)... although i LOVED the way we transitioned from the 2nd to last song to the last song...

the missionary which spoke on sunday was very intriguing... what i found interesting was how different groups HAVE different views of things... if someone had offered to pay for all the expenses i would need to pay for sending someone to mission school, i would be estatic... but he made a point how the others didn't, simply because they found it was a way they could connect; sacrifice for them meant happiness; which is weird, cause often we're taught that it's not a good thing. he also had a LOT of funky stuff he got... i wouldn't want to get stung by those ants, or get shot by a 7-ft long arrow w/poison on the end... his sermon-message was that if God is really ours, how come we keep straddling the line? or as paul put it, why are we lukewarm? God isn't calling us to be lukewarm and just dump cotton on his foundation; give your best, and lay the best of your life upon it, or don't bother at it; you would've been better off not knowing God and not giving anything at all than being a lukewarm christian and just giving SOME of your all.

i remember hearing these lyrics yesterday on AIR1(still haven't figured out who wrote it, going by the air1 charts):
"don't you know that we are listening for whispers, when we cannot hear the screams/the sun is blinding us and still we look for matches"

Free Ice Cream from Cold Stone

so... anybody wanna visit Valley Fair July 24th w/me? they have Cold Stone... let's raid the place! :D

man, i am sweaty right now; i think i'll go take a shower before i head back to church... worship practice was fun though, and i didn't even know jerm's cousins play the guitar now! the reason i'm sweaty is cause i decided to try to shoot some hoops at farley while janet's team was practicing and bob's team was off...

later guys...

alright, so like i said i would, i read half of nehemiah today; i wanted to finish ALL of it, but it was slightly longer than usual, and i grew tired taking notes, so i'll just finish tomorrow morning... or end up finishing it sunday afternoon, since i may actually get to finish my .mp3 project tonight or tomorrow morning(i seriously wonder if i'm ever gonna finish 3 songs like i wanted this summer though; seems the more i dive into the project the more things i can find wrong sounding with it, it mainly has to do with the fact that i can never get the bass sounds to come out right, but there's other issues, and the more i see them i'm reluctant to finish; uh, hm, i need to pray about this)... anyways:

the 1st half of the book more or less talks about how nehemiah made the journey back to jerusalem to help his people rebuild the wall of jerusalem; think of its importance this way; having a strong, protected wall would keep raiders, robbers, other races out; and since the wall was weak, israel's religion was easily being diluted as the jews didn't feel safe and thus married to other races, and thus slowly began losing their touch of God. now, more or less, the book follows from the perspective of nehemiah. he is seen as a person who is in power, but constantly asks God for help; in fact, for the petition to the persian king, he first put up a prayer to God before asking him, and it worked. also, he is seen as a remarkable leader; when the bordering politicians looked to try to impede the wall-rebuilding progress, by force, he was able to reorganize the workers and spur them on, telling them to be strong and fight for God; apparently nehemiah never separated religion from action. he was also wise enough to see through the personal plots by the politicians on his life, and later, his reputation; while you can find out more by reading chapters 1-6, i think i will elaborate on something new i saw; they tried intimidation one way; by sending him an unsealed letter saying that it could be possible that he was trying to revolt and set himself up as king, then encouraging him to meet with them. obviously it was an attempt on his life, but basically, and unsealed letter meant anyone could read it, which was part of the intimidation; again, he saw through it. then another time one of his associates told him that he knew people were plotting to assassinate him, and thus tried to convince him to go hide in the temple; this was an attempt not to kill him, but tarnish his reputation; i believe only Levites at the time could enter the temple; either that or maybe you can only enter on the Sabbath. but yeah, he saw all through it, and soon the temple was completed. i wish i have THAT resolve and wisdom to see what i wanted to do through.

the more i see it, when you have a slightly above-average height and are playing bball, and have the rock, you don't need flashiness to beat the opponent... although i will see whether this holds up as i play more; i mean i was doing good yesterday against sam, sarah and louis w/me, jerm and jon, but maybe that's cause they weren't guarding me THAT closely(enabled me to get a lot of good shots), and jerm and jon work as a team, making good passes, unlike selfish me(that'll be something i need to work on)... usually i can't figure out how to shake the opponent off of me when they guard me in my face... my spin move's still too unreliable, and frontal crossover's a no-no when you're that close... but then, mj didn't have a lotta ballhandling skills on offense; what made him so good was the shot itself, and the usefulness of the crossover to him, plus his footwork... as i read somewhere online, he beat opponents with his footwork, not his hands... his handwork all came from the shot itself... so maybe i'll just enter each game with that mentality... i still can't figure out how to shake people who are in my face though... i had two highlights yesterday, actually, make that three; one was a defensive monster swat at a shot(i will not comment here because i think it was so utterly funny you had to see it to believe it; jerm and jon were rolling on the ground), the other one was a stutter step right when i had the ball but immediately shifted left and shot the ball(will have to try that more; it worked like a charm), and the last one was a turnaround jumper in midair, like a 180...(so it wasn't a turnaround, then jump and shoot, i actually jumped with my back to the board, twisted myself around, then shot)

i will pray, and keep asking you God, for the desire to create my own songs of worship to show my love for you... please help me... grant me knowledge as to how to edit...

youth group's meeting at valley fair tonight; this should be fun...

and, more or less, i'm spending the entire day at church tomorrow; should also be fun...

wow... i am BREEZING through the old testament now, now that i'm actually trying... today's lesson from ezra; apparently, 70 yrs in exile DID make a difference. before the babylonians had carried off southern israel, the people of judah were fairly ignorant. God sent a buncha prophets, but they wouldn't listen, or heed or repent, you get the idea; judah was a stiff-necked people indeed. however, we see that in ezra, when the people came to ezra telling him how they were intermarrying with foreign peoples and worshipping their gods, that ezra breaks down and prays an intercessory prayer for them; they then all join ezra in mourning and agree to get rid of all their hindrances to God; but we saw that in Joshua right after all the stiff-necked egyptian israelites died off that a new generation full of zeal for God rose up. and so it seems with Christianity; a lot of the people who grow up in hardships are the ones who understand how awesome it is to be close with God; then a nation arises which doesn't suffer the same consequences and the like, and they fall, and so i'm beginning to see how MAYBE a little hardship isn't bad after all; it was good for the israelites...

next up; nehemiah for tomorrow...

go wish fatcheeks(joe) a BIG happy bday if you haven't yet...

i don't really like todd agnew's "this fragile breath" melodically, but i think the lyrics are so true:

I searched the world for a song that I could sing
Praise to my King, A gift that I could bring
But no music I found could compare to You
Not one could do Justice to Your glory
What are my songs compared to Yours

You speak with thunder and lightening
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer is this fragile breath
With each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more

I searched the world for a poem I could read
A rhyme that would bring Glory to my King
But no writing I found was worthy of
This God high above all other gods
What are my words compared to Yours

Sonicflood- Cry Holy:

Every sun and moon and star
All declaring who You are
We fall silent in amazement
Every word and deed of man
Every sea and grain of sand
All creation speaks
And now we sing to proclaim You majesty

Let the earth rejoice
Singing with one voice
Let the people cry
Holy holy Lord
Every creature sing
Praises to the King
All creation cry
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord

Every song sung on the earth
Will never capture all You worth
We fall silent in amazement
Let every humble heart now see
The beauty of Your majesty
All creation speaks
And now we sing to the King
Above all Kings

All creation proclaims Your majesty
Holy is Your name in all the earth
All creation proclaims Your majesty
And now we sing

forgiveness vs.vengence; the more you think about it, the more it's harder to see how you can be forgiving AND just; some people say you can be just and still forgive(ie punishing clinton by impeaching him but forgiving him); but really, if you had a hard of forgiving, you probably wouldn't punish them at all; think about it; an innner heart reflects an outward attitude; it's like only when you inner feelings of vengence have subsided, THEN you forgive them. so that doesn't really work. now, i'm not one to suggest it was a bad idea to execute the Nazis, or that we shouldn't go after saddam and his two sons(just reading an archive from TIME on the ruthlessness of his 2 sons pisses me off greatly), or osama; of COURSE we should go after them. as long as we set standards of right and wrong we need to uphold those standards. but i'm seeing how much harder it is to TRULY forgive someone if all you're concentrating upon is the punishment. am i wrong? or am i onto something?

i am trying to go about this day without even touching my capcom fighting games or cpu cs; consider it as a sort of fast, like daniel's; i want to see how much more i can get out of this day, as i often waste my time since i go overboard. maybe i should even extend it to the rest of the week and see if i experience any withdrawl symptoms. but the main point of me doing this is to fill myself up with the love of God(and some extra time in the process); besides, my thumbs callouses are pissing me off slightly.

ykno, Ecclesiastes 1 is pretty much true; nothing has changed since then; consumerism thinks that we need to keep filling our eyes and ears with so much stuff to be happy; YOU WON'T BE; life is meaningless. soloman was onto something. pleasure in this life is like chasing after the wind. the eye has never had its fill of seeing, the ear never its share of hearing. so all you can do is cling to God, through whom all blessings flow.

Look! Peace in the Middle East is occurring! :D

i'm gonna close today with this:

If I could write one letter to the world as we know it
I would list these rhymes that mean everything to me
Heartache temporary
Bullets only stop your blood
Pain will live on and on, in everyone
We could change it down

And we could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost one's
We could re-write history
If only you and me

The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway?
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

Amberlin- Change The World

i really like Psalm 51; this is the psalm of a contritefully sorry God-seeking man; i remember reading it during this sunday's communion, and it stuck in my mind so much that i have made the link to it permanently available at the top of my page next to all the other bible verses of mine. i will, and suggest to you, that the next time you feel like you're sorry for sinning against God, but don't know how to express it, go back and read this psalm again.

the other verse that has intrigued me to link it has been 2nd Chron 30:18-20; i read it today; this is an account of Judah during the reign of Hezekiah, when Israel had been wiped off the face of the map... Hezekiah had invited Judah and the remnants of Israel to come to Jersusalem to hold a nationwide passover, since one had not been held since 200 years... a minority of Israel, those who had acknowledged idolatry for the punishment of Israel, and were true followers of God, came... granted, these people didn't have time to consecrate themselves for the passover, and were thus ceremonially unclean. however, hezekiah prayed to God on behalf of them, and i liked what he said here, as basically he reminds God that he looks at the heart and not the ceremony; God obviously remembered that and thus acknowledged the few which came from Israel as one of them; in fact, we see in the next chapter that as soon as the celebration was over, those that came from Israel themselves went to the tribes of Benjamin, Judah, and the 2 tribes of Joseph and rid ALL all the idolatrous objects there were; proof that the inside not only matters, but is often reflected on the outside.

not many of you would probably care about this, but i found out that mercury levels of fish that we eat today aren't necessarily safe; it's only cause not many people whore fish that we pay attention... but basically, in reader's digest, i found out that you shouldn't whore the large fish as much as you would like; the bigger the fish, the more higher their mercury content; mercury has a high chance of messing up your nervous system and making you lose your hair; sometimes death results... but no, don't take this as an excuse not to eat fish :D it's just that you need to eat the big stuff a LOT more sparingly; go easy on the sharks and swordfish, as well as fresh tuna, for instance; for me, even though i like fish, i tend to concentrate upon the small guys; my faves are trout, catfish, seafood, and salmon, so no worries for me there.

it's too bad that modern-day society only teaches you that the only thing to life is being happy and having as much as possible; just like last year, the more i dive back into the spiritual disciplines the more i shun the way mainstream consumerism works.

MLB all-star game tonight(i think); go bonds!

MSH thanos:
sj.dn.roundhouse\/d.s.jab->s.short->s.strong(2 hits)->c.forward/\sj.dn.roundhouse(OTG)\/c.strongXXsoul inf combo,d.c.short->c.strong/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXfierce rush
(one heck of a style combo, and unlike all the other combos he has, is much skill; 16 hits, ~80% damage)

me, tim, jerm, jon, and louis more or less got wes into cs yesterday at jerm's house before and after our bbq... haha... see, wes? cs can be fun! louis had me dying though when he started acting like a punk and flashing wes when they were on the same team whenever a new round started, buying and throwing them on the ground repeatedly... then hearing wes shout "you punk!" or something to that extent in the adjacent room had me rolling on the bed laughing... that of course makes wes run out only to be awped down by tim, leaving a self-blinded louis left on the field for easy pickings... and the fact that i have such an unorthodox cs setting on laptop is sometimes way too funny; when wes started playing on my laptop, you could see him yelling "bomb's here!" and hitting c-6 all over the place, since i have those hotkey'd... then louis starts getting annoyed and yelling back "you don't even know where the bomb is!" louis is way too funny sometimes... and i still can't believe his parents ALWAYS eat at formosa now! the way louis says it is just too funny! "so much variety!" i still regret how none of us even remembered to call up justin; he DID want to come to our bbq; sometimes i wish we'd hang out with him a lot more; he IS, after all, my cousin...

aware of how much crap you hear on the radio on the secular music stations lately? i'm pretty sure you are... or what type of shallow morals mainstream consumerism places upon us?

chevelle - send the pain below

having done with the "solitude" chapter, i have to remind myself, how far have i gone along this discipline? i rarely talk, but often, when i talk, i still don't say meaningful stuff... and that is a problem; solitude isn't about not talking, it's about listening, and only saying meaningful stuff, making your yes be yes, and you no be no, and not only do i have this problem of not saying meaningful stuff, this is something the mainstream society doesn't concentrate upon; we HAVE to talk, and when we do, we have to fill that thing called our ears with as much noise from our tongue as we can. that's not necessary. we act like we have to justify everything we do with the tongue; unnecessary; God will justify us. there is definitely some things that come to you from God that only occur when you are alone inside and outside. i'm believing more and more now that God is not just a god of words; he is also a god of sights, sounds, feelings, intuition, etc... and i would like to be able to experience the "dark night of the soul"

ok, not much has happened since i last wrote stuff down.

saturday:
worship practice; then some discipline stuff w/bob later in the day. i felt that i wasted the day other than those other highlights; i didn't songwrite, wasted the entire day playing video games, and for dinner, pizza hut is so crappy now; my mom thinks that they don't even use real cheese, and i thought they used too little. round table's garlic chicken though is awesome, and worth every cent you buy; mom agrees there.
speaking of which, maybe it's me, but i feel everytime i worship w/the other guys, i feel like i can't hear my electric guitar; maybe i'm too self-centered, or too shy, or that it would sound different if i were in the pews, or maybe it's the pickup itslef, but i feel that maybe others should be able to hear me more; i do realize if i just heard ALL distortion, then nothing else would be heard, but i feel like i can hear everybody else, except for me; it's of course a minor detail for worship in the name of God, but... ykno...
discipline; i think one of the things that intrigued me that i remembered concerning studying the outside events, is this: do we need to? yes and no was what i thought to bob: we should always be prepared to be gone at any moment, so it's unnecessary to be watching, but at the same time, it'd be kinda ignorant to ignore the signs of the times; granted, no one knows the exact time jesus will come back, but you need to keep alert sometimes, ykno? also, remember; studying nature isn't too far from studying God; maybe that's why i have such a STRONG love for biology; chemistry, i feel is a dry science(again, this is just me); but biology IMO teems with life; you wanna see biology in action? go outside, and look at the birds, the beautiful creatures that God made; biology isn't just a science, it's creation in action, and that's maybe what inspires me the most about it.
worship practice we did "in the secret" which is interesting, cause i'm remixing that song my way; it is THIS close to being done, i just need to edit when i get the chance.

sunday:
communion was kinda funny; pdan gave some saying about how we should "ignore the bitterness of the cup, and concentrate on the fragrance of jesus" why'd he do that? cause we actually drank WINE for the cup... imagine that! i chuckled after i drank it, cause it was sweet, then suddenly turned bitter, but it's all good, it was just a small amount. btw, mulling on the bread and cup, 1st corinth says the bread is Jesus' body which is broken for you, and the cup is the covenant in Jesus; this would make sense why Jesus asked those disciples who wanted to be the greatest if they were willing to drink the cup, but didn't say anything about taking the bread; the bread is the salvation, the act of Jesus dying on the cross, the cup is sorta the aftermath of that; the covenant, which similar to wine, is both sweet, and bitter; sweet because you now have the fellowship of Jesus with you wherever you go, but also bitter, because you must deny yourself, take up the cross, and be willing to go through fire. i feel so stupid that i finally got this insight today, when i've been reading that passage all my christian life; it's true though. think about it; jesus never asked if you were able to take the bread; we've all taken the bread; it's whether you can drink the cup.

sunday school; i think i have really taking a liking to daniel and revelation now; seeing the signs of the endtimes; kinda interesting how i heard tim ask a buncha questions too; we're all growing, and actually willing to pay attention to God now. so far, the most evident thing we see of the antichrist would be his false covenant with the jews; it will be for seven years, but midway he will break it and begin to persecute them; this was minutely demonstrated by the greek ruler, but it will be in a magnitude far greater than we can imagine in the future. also, the other main telltale signs are that he will be seen as near dead, or dead, from a fatal wound, but survive it. there will be 1 prophet of his that goes around and has the authority to kill all who refuse to obey him; there's a bunch more, and it really intrigues me.

uh, i'll songwrite tomorrow; the guys are having a bbq/cs lan party today, so... yeah... that'll prob eat up most of my time today.

i think one of my definite pet peeves has to be when people talk to themselves... i almost get pissed at it... those people can seem so strange... hmm... prayer for me, and other people... i'm saying this cause there seems to be a regular chink kid at the saratoga library who ALWAYS talks to himself, and it gets annoying... he also snorts... probably only to me though cause i'm the only one who cares... *sigh*... flash prayers there... reminds me of allen wu when i was still in high school... that weird guy...

XvSF Magneto is so friggin fun to use; he may not be MVC2 Magneto, but you can still rack up high numbers, sometimes in guarenteed damage; i love this corner combo:
kick throw,c.short(OTG)->c.roundhouseXXhyper grav,c.fierce/\sj.roundhouseXXad.df.forward\/c.fierce/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXad.uf.jab->ad.uf.short->ad.uf.strong->ad.uf.forward->ad.uf.roundhouse

now that combo alone is strong enough to take off about say 40% on cyclops; i'm ballparking, but more or less if you do the combo twice(and it shouldn't be too hard, as after doing the combo you should be able to carry the opponent all the way into the other corner), the opponent has about 20% life left; there's also guarenteed magnetic tempest combos you can do with him, which are hard, but oh so damaging...

here's an ALMOST constant: younger siblings always turn out taller than their older siblings, ASSUMING they're the same sex

i should really go to bed earlier; everytime i go to bed late, i wake up late... what is better than getting up early to praise God in the morning? nothing!

that pain in my wrist will probably give new meaning to the words "worshipping God with all your might"; we shall find out later tonight if i can summon myself to continue doing what i WANT to do...

so the new gamepad i got for my cpu isn't bad; granted, it's 2 buttons short, but at least the directional pad works a HECK of a lot better... the buttons seem better too; it's a HECK of a lot easier trying to hit 2 buttons together at one time... i just need to wait til i get the other pad i have fixed... and then, HELLO, 2-player CPS2 gaming! :D a joystick would still be 100x better, but hey, this is still good...

doesn't it amaze you how many people you can turn off to yourself just by slipping the word "religion" into your dialogue? yet we're willing to immediately believe we somehow came from a derivative of the chimpanzee...

ok bob, i'm in the library as i'm typing this right now... i'm trying to flash prayer right now... (after coming back)i'm still concentrating on the "word" aspect of flash prayers all too often though; but i'll get better at it, and learn to flash pictures in my mind to God faster... i'll ask God about it; heh, funny, praying to God to ask how to pray... give me more tips on what you do when you flash-pray bob... like, as you're reading this at work, flash-pray right now... now come back and tell me what you did, i wanna learn more about this...

it's funny how the modern culture places such an emphasis around just surrounding yourself with as many things as possible; yet i bet all those things are MEANINGLESS; why? cause they're empty; that's why you need so many of them to fill you up; yet they don't fill you up; like trying to fill a holed foam cup with water, you have to keep pouring, and pouring, and pouring... the waterline gets nowhere, while the cup just keeps getting aged and aged... you get nowhere... what does it mean to discipline yourself in simplicity? it's not ascetism, and it's not whoring everything to yourself; it is being grateful for what you've got, but you could care less if you lost those things or not... obeying the 10th commandment can indeed be so friggin hard in modern-day culture... but it is worth every ounce...

ok, i'm gonna go; the library's closing; later...

perhaps the most important things to remember as a collegian are this: don't worry, and WAIT... remember this if you feel you are in grade trouble, or unsure exactly where you can go; i have to remind myself of this... for the 1st, go outside and look at nature; notice how the birds of the air and the various other creatures you see can just hang in there? you think God doesn't watch out for even more important beings? so chill; don't worry. the other... is a matter of patience; in today's high-tech society, a lotta times, we want everything NOW... you have to remember that God sometimes answers yes, sometimes no... and sometimes? it's WAIT... it's almost a sure thing that God has the best plan for everyone who believes in him and follows him... but sometimes you need to wait before he'll tell you... so remember; just hang in there...

philippoussis lost... damn... i can't believe how close he was to winning wimbledon... of course jerm is probably happy since philippoussis > agassi... i admit that downed me a bit too, but i do like philippoussis due to his nasty serve...

lesse... if you're looking for some good nostalgia CPU games, go download Jordan vs. Bird; One on One 2; i'd go dl it HERE: http://www.flashback-aw.net/games.php?GameID=1
i love this game; used to play it all the time; now i have it again :D bird is technically better, as he can shoot 3s in addition to playing D, but hey, it's MJ! is there any other reason? and now, i actually know how to use the "shift" key, so i can actually run across the court; pressing left or right w/o shift resulted in a slow-ass dribble; no wonder me and my bro always looked so funny trying to run past each other when we played :) nothing compared to LIVE 2K3 or Sega's NBA 2k3(Sega Sports' NBA 2K series are prob my favorite sports games), but it's still pretty good fun; basically, no spin moves, fadeaways, sideways fading jumpers and no crossovers, but you can do show and gos, pump fakes, and jab steps, as well as run, or just shuffle, so it's not bad; it's actually kinda fun, though sometimes the controls can seem sluggish...

so, this is the 1st time me and bob have met in the summer for discipline training; not bad... hope it keeps up. the important thing is that i practice what i learn... daily...

what else did i do today:

watched T3: what to say... first of all, it's not revolutionary in its ideas anymore(travelling back in time to alter the future isn't so big anymore), but it was enjoyable, in an action-packed way; seems though they were trying for the more comedic effect this time around; without giving any spoilers away, basically they make the T-800 seem a bit funny by it trying to be serious... also, by introducing a blonde female terminator they weren't trying to start anything revolutionary IMO; just induce more of the horny-laden crowd into the theater...

i borrowing the Matt Brouwer CD, so i'll end up listening to that maybe for 1 week...

uh, that's about it; i think i'll songwrite tonight; also, i bought some misc toys from fry's that i wanna try out; nothing really expensive though, just small stuff...

i'll write more tonight... or talk, what not... etc...

http://www.planetemu.net/php/emulateurs/compteurs/index.php3?id=kawakswin&url=http://www.planetemu.net/emulateurs/multi_arcade/winkawaks146.zip

http://www.planetemu.net/php/emulateurs/emulateurs.php3?cat=cps2

http://www.planetemu.net/php/roms/roms_bis.php3?cat=cps-2#

http://www.planetemu.net/php/roms/roms_bis.php3?cat=cps-2

one of the hardest things i think i would have to do regularly is worship God, only for God; i mean, how? how do you play out your heart, devoted only to God, especially when you're just a lead guitarist in a band or something like that, when you aren't muttering words, just striking strings? well, isn't worship basically praise of something? don't you usually praise something when you stand in awe of it? hence, why i'm starting to believe richard foster on that sense; you worship God when you begin to contemplate his works, which moves you into awe, hence leading you into worship. so that's the mindset i've been trying to get myself into lately right before every single worship session i have, public, or private, time-consuming, or just a break in front of my .mp3 collection in front of my laptop. i try to think of what God's done for me, what he's given me so far, how MUCH i have and how grateful i am for that, and i just sorta try to extend that feeling into whatever songs i play, rock or contemporary, fast or slow. it's not easy, and i'm still working on it, but it's the right way to do it.

i SO wanna be 7 ft now; just seeing how i can extend myself higher than the other guys when we were fooling around trying to dunk on the rim behind the 2 farley houses motivates me there. basically, there's a certain height where i can still 2-hand the rock in, where the other guys couldn't today; that was fun.

i'll just close with some thought; a while ago, one of my friends at MVHS at my christian club was discussing with me about different styles of worship, ie what is suitable, etc... i told him i was ok with whatever people could worship better with, as long as it was from the heart, he replied with this:
"some people do it for the Lord, but some people also don't do it for the Lord" or something like that, and i had to agree.

everyone's back... again... 4th of july weekend's over...

Take Me Away
-Lifehouse

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take you place
This time you burned me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away

I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

Far Away
-By the Tree

Well all my thoughts
And this confusion
Brings me down to this conclusion
That I'm a man of conviction
I've wasted time out of window panes
No place to go to recreate
The feelings that I have inside
When I spend time with you

We are never alone
Bringin' down angels today
His promises are true he's always
Closer than we're far away

T-t-t turn it up
I want to feel alright
Like a shining star
On a summer night
Heavy glow of rock and roll
Pumping through your stereo
Makes me want to sing

Jesus you give us a future
The plans God made
Are for hope and of love
Lord you're so good to us

"as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to its folly"

i remember KJ-52 saying something recently on Air1 about that verse; something about his dog always returning to roll in a buncha fish guts and getting messed up or something; they'd punish him, but he'd just come right back; God is calling you a fool if you keep going back to your sin; you're just gonna smell messed up; i'll quote him when i get the chance to relisten.

left pinky-toe hurts on the cuticle; seems like the free edge feels like it's being pulled up; feels better now though...

to be honest i have no idea if the gels i bought for the ball of my feet actually worked; my right foot didn't hurt, but i never put pressure on it; my left foot was aching though, but the strange thing is that when i took off my sock, the callous looked EXACTLY like before! so maybe it does work... although, you'd think it'd ease the pain...

i need to work on my ability to drive the ball in...

"in the secret" is THAT close to being done; just some editing issues i need to work out... otherwise everything's there...

and on that note;

recently i'm been thinking; once i start making money at an actual job, i will consider buying a lighter electric guitar on this count; i never jump around when i'm playing rhythm guitar on my fender; it's not that the fender's heavy and stuff, but i feel that i'm not emotionally expressing myself fully whenever i'm worshipping(everytime i try with the fender, i usually mess up my playing), and this minor, but accurate representation of how i feel when i'm playing upbeat worship songs would be nice... yet i do it whenever i'm just listening to music w/o a guitar on me, so that's why... and i've been to guitar center and seen how much lighter other electric guitars are; fenders aren't that heavy, but other guitars can be lighter, as the neck isn't made outta wood or something; besides, sometimes i feel that the fender guitar's tuning pegs are slightly loose...

and yes i still want a chorus pedal... phase shifter and 2-line fx pedal will also be nice, but i'd like a chorus pedal...

instead of typing a recap of some of the past days, i'm just gonna post a few thoughts on the fourth of july.

basically, time and time again, humanity has proved that trying to enforce a law, even if it is the GOOD law if you follow a certain religion, results in an antagonistic view towards that religion. the aztecans didn't like it when the spanish ran over them and tried to covert them; neither did the middle easterns like it when we ran over them... but getting back, that's hence the beauty of america, and why it is such a haven for christians more than any other place; you are free to practice whatever religion you choose; this is obviously bad in its own ways, as the law sees all religions as equal, when you're clearly opinionated not to believe so, but it's also good in its own way; besides, jesus saw that when you took religious practices and turned them into laws, they'd bring down people instead of hold them up. chinese people don't get that freedom, and let's not get started on the middle eastern countries whose official religion is "fundamentalist muslim"

that said, happy LATE fourth of july; celebrate your freedom to worship God

(happy EVEN later bday to luigi...)

man... stupid windows media player... stupid kazaa... basically, i wanted to dl "water" to play along to it on my guitar(i LOVE when the rhythm guitarist does XXX000x2, XXX000x2 in distortion in-between to transition from the chorus to the verse, or the verse to the chorus), but i don't have kazaa on my bro's cpu... so i dl it... and it turns out i need windows media player 6.4 or greater to install it(?)... no prob, i try to dl it... but stupid netzero keeps cutting me off everytime i try... it's really weird, and pissing me off... eh, bob, could i just borrow your matt brower CD whenever we finally decide to meet and rebegin Celebration of Discipline?

i actually watched more wimbledon today... since i do somewhat like tennis due to its fast pace... it's still a highclass sport though, so it peeves me how everybody MUST shut up when they're playing... so in between each point the crowd raves for a bit, claps, then... clamours down? anyways, here's what struck me:
grosjean wins over henman in the 4th set... i think he was the better player myself; henman is all net-play, but grosjean hits harder, and has a stronger serve... it pretty much came down to henman charging the net and grosjean staying back...
also, philippoussis won over popp... i love philippoussis... he's a good baseline player, slow sometimes, but man, watching him today, he's got my respect... those black obirigenese genes must be something... his serve is SO good... basically, he was down 15-40 in one round(tennis rounds go love, then 15, then 30, then 40, *advantage if necessary if both players are at 40 and one gets the point* and then game), and so he ACED 4x in a row to win the round... so that was 4 uncontested serves one right after the other... THAT'S amazing IMO... he mustve gotten 33+ aces that match... the other guy got only 12 or something... the other highlight i remember was him DIVING to volley the ball over and win the point...

later guys...

bob, i just saw this link during one of the ads on top of your blog:
Gospel Video Games

haha... funny eh? are we gonna go around converting heathens?

dr scholl's ball-of-foot gels:
$5.49 @target
not too bad; i think i'll get them; at least they look like they'll fit; i think this is what i need; my heel's fine; my ball on my left foot though, is anything BUT fine... there's something beautiful about looking at your callous though when it forms on the ball of your foot; looking at the way your footprints swirl around... touching it and realizing you have no nerves bordering that skin, hence why you can't feel pain there... it's in a way, mezmerizing, to know how God created it like that... on the subject, i have been feeling less pain in the area now, thanks... time to start up bballing again...

i was originally gonna buy an adapter from radio shack that converts my 4 button gamepad to a usb port, but it costs $15.49; consider that with the fact that i saw a 6 button gamepad @fry's for 6.50, and you do the math... i was mainly wanting to get this so that maybe i can get challenged on puzzle fighter more when i bring my laptop around, but i still need to get my other gamepad replaced... i'll go buy it sometime...

btw radio shack isn't a bad place for me to window shop; you see, i'm always kinda thinking of ways to improve my connections from electrical recording equipment to my laptop, so going here always gives me ideas... like a y-adapter, etc... playing rhythm guitar, recording that, then having to record my vocals separately isn't very satisfying, even if it's more accurate than recording the 2 at once; so what i think i'll need is a mic, plus a stand... also, i might want a guitar stand, since putting the guitar back in the case does seem to somewhat mess up the tuning occasionally

1st chron talks about david's life much like the way the US talks about our heroes; it blows them up; no, there's no lies in 1st chron, but you notice how all the bad things about david aren't talked about; half-truths, if you might call them that... although israel did need some inspiration at the time; it was written when the exiles were returning to jerusalem; as i'm reading, i'm just not taking notes unless something really stands out between it and 2nd samuel.

chorus fx pedal, phase shifter fx pedal, maybe one of those pedals which changes the line? eh, my wish list just gets bigger and bigger each day; i admit they're not necessary for happiness(thou shall not covet, remember?), but having them wouldn't hurt, ykno?

T3's out today... THE MACHINES WILL RISE... wait a few days, then maybe ask whether some of the other guys would like to see it w/me... NO, i don't think it'll be THAT good... YES, i am going to see it, just cause it's the terminator, and i've grown up on the terminator *reminisces about the good ol days w/sam*

sometimes, it's so annoying going through the bible; i just finished 2nd kings, and the chronicles don't look any more exciting than the kings; it's more or less just more rehashing+numbers of records, although i know every book in the bible has special purposes; chronicles was meant to inspire those people who came back from exile. i can't wait til i get to daniel... that'll be some fun times... trying to figure out his visions...

i think i'm not even gonna talk about whether or not i can finish "in the secret" tonight anymore; i'll just post when i'm done. basically, yes, it is ALMOST done, but who knows whether i decide to edit it even more to make the sound even better? i still think overall it's been a good job; just need to add a riff, and maybe edit the drums and vocals to make them stand out? it's not chock-full of riffs, but i think when going for the alternative rock sound here, simple isn't a bad idea; i tried adding fillers, but they kinda cloud out the rhythm guitar instead of complement it. you do have to remember that i want it to sound like some alternative rock rehash, which is why i'm trying to put more emphasis on the heavy distorted guitar, the snare drums, uh, etc... maybe i need a bass guitar... just playing w/the low strings of an electric doesn't quite give it the boost i need...

hmm... vitamin D may have more disease-preventive power than we think! according to the recent issue of reader's digest, D may be able to prevent colon cancer, osteoperosis, diabetes, and more; it's still not OFFICIAL i believe, but heck, when they say just 10-20 min, unprotected in the sun per day, that's not much to ask, eh? not to mention milk's fortified w/vitamin D anyways... geez, does this mean all the short, possible pale, asian girls i know are gonna snap their bones in half or something at 40? eh...

i've just realized recently, and i'll write it down now, that david and sam's brotherhood towards each other is looking funnier and funnier each passing day... reminds me of jon and louis, to some extent... and i can't believe how frikkin small sam is! i remember last year, during CTCC's youth group senior night, when we put sam in a luggage bag and zipped it up so only his head showed... and in another incident that day, when sam fell asleep, david picked him up and carried him into the living room... then when i played bball against him and david last friday, all i had to do to block his shot was walk up to him! :D or at least deny him a good chance that he'd make a good shot

i think it'll be some bballing later today, maybe visit radio shack, and work on my songs later this night... i SO wanna make a psalm 23.mp3! that is a good song... i just need to not get caught up playing puzzle fighter and CS-aimbot tonight! :D laterz

i'm gonna have to remind myself to update my list of favorite songs; there's a couple i'm liking lately:
ALL of sanctus real's songs(except for i love you)
your steadfast love? not too sure about the title; did sonicflood write this one? nevertheless, i like this worship song; the chorus is pretty much just "your steadfast love, is better than life" or something like that.
michelle branch- are you happy now
avril lavigne- losing grip
by the tree- far away
sonicflood- cry holy

i liked today's lesson in sunday school; more exploration into daniel; and thankfully, i now have a MUCH clearer picture of the visions that daniel had. the one question i'd really like answered though, is, "does the rapture occur BEFORE the tribulation?" that concerns me, cause in all honesty, i'm quite afraid of what type of final sacrifice God wants from some of his people... how will those persecuted die?

now, apparently, my bro said a while ago, they're essentially the same things as a flanger, but i really would like the chorus and phase-shifter pedals; chorus pedals would be nice for when i don't wanna play in hard distortion, but don't wanna hear any fuzz at ALL... it's good for verses in songs... phase-shifter is just fun... and i'd like to know exactly what it does more... in fact, i'd like to know what some of the other effects pedals do... like what a compressor does, etc.

only mandy and lydia showed up for church... no laura, none of the guys... strange... nobody likes CTCC anymore :( or me...

later, i'll write later.

sat:
giants beat a's, 8-7, 10 inning, bottom. which is amazing, cause they were down 5, then 6 to 0 somewhere in the middle of the game. then bonds starts with a single run homer, followed by a HUGE 5 run to tie the game. go bonds!

my 1st day back as a worship team member... and like the past they were asking me to do riffs again :D i need more practice; the only guitar playing i've been doing are power chords so far.

sometimes, i wonder just how much friends change over the duration of 4 years in college... i bet when we all get together again, there's a good chance we won't have the same closeness we feel right now... but hey, if you're true friends, you'll be friends no matter how far you are separated, right?

some biblical thought i think you guys might be interested in:
i'm currently going through the kings right now, as far as my journey to read the entire bible sometime has been going along. omri and jeroboam II were both considered to be northern israel's strongest kings, although all of the kings did NOT follow God wholeheartedly. interestingly, omri's son turns out to be ahab, the worst king of israel. and jeroboam? lemme backtrack with this:
during the course of ahab's reign God promised elijah that he would set up 3 people to destroy the wicked, baal-worshippers in israel; hazael, the king of aram, jehu, a would-be king of israel, and elisha. so when elijah is taken to heaven, elisha is faced w/the task of anointing jehu as the king of israel, faced with the mission to destroy all of ahab's bloodline to avenge the dead prophets. now, jehu is interesting; he believed in God, but didn't follow him ALL THE WAY; he did though partially. because he carried out what God initially intended(the avenging part), he promised him that his descendants would sit on the throne to the 4th generation.
after Jehu's son's reign, jeroboam II became king. so interestingly, although jeroboam was NOT a pious king, he still hailed from a soldier of God. his son, would be assasinated, ending this family line.
i find that to be interesting, even the Bible says that God used Jeroboam to save the state of Israel. funny, eh? and also note, the 1st jeroboam(the 1st king of northern israel) was one of the worst, probably 2nd to ahab.

prayers would be appreciated for:
my left ball of my foot; there is in fact, a DOUBLE callous on it. i got it from my repeated high hops from playing bball... i consider myself a big man when i play, relative to the people i play against, that's why i've kinda trained myself to go for blocks and rebounds over steals. personally, i don't mind the appearance of callouses, but this one HURTS. underneath the slighly peeled-off callous, i can see the other callous formed.

i'll finish "in the secret" tonight... hit me up if you want it tomorrow.