american dad

daughter: mom ran off with (name of her boyfriend)!
stan: your boyfriend ran off with my wife!
stan: we should get back at them by doing each other!

*awkward silence*

stan: waitaminute, that didn't come out right

i could not stop laughing after hearing that

as well as family guy...

peter discovers he's blind, so...

*at doctor's office*

dr: can you see this?
peter: no
dr: oh whew! my, my son in law claims if you stare right PAST the picture, you can see the globe

*picture zooms out and the doctor's looking at a magic eye photo*