Saturday, October 11, 2003
ok, i got a yahoo briefcase created, and uploaded all my songs; the problem is that yahoo won't let me let ANYONE look at it, only ones with yahoo IDs that i specify; so if you want access to it, lemme know your yahoo ID(over email or aim) and i will add you to the list... k that's it, the link's on the left; peace
i gotta get to work soon, but here's basically 3 things i have to say before i do:
-went to intervarsity large group yesterday; they do indeed seem to go a bit deeper on friday than other christian fellowships; however, they followed the same form as other friday groups; have a 1-2 hr fellowship, then just kick it back for the rest of the night; they didn't even say to meet up at a person's place. however, their message was a bit deeper; i took some notes on my cell notepad. their worship is a bit more old-skool though; not like hymns, but where we sorta have the "revised-hymns," or playing hymns w/contemporary worship style, except they tended to play slower; if i was going on the basis of worship alone i would choose msm, the one i'd gone to the most, but of course, me and jon need to see if their small groups are deep or not...
-i found out i actually have a place to put my .mp3s on the web(right now i don't feel like putting it all over mp3.com, and i don't have the time to create a website right now):
http://f1.up.briefcase.yahoo.com/edit/recharred_sigh/reg?.done=http%3a//briefcase.yahoo.com/
i can apparently use the briefcase thing from yahoo to create a site where guests can come in and just download, so that's cool; i'll set something up soon...
-i am revising my fave songs list(long time i did)... up to you to check it out if you want
-btw, evanescence's "going under" video is kinda freaky... everyone except the band members looks like they're some type of demon... now, knowing that evanescence is composed of christian musicians, were they trying to say something from that? if you haven't seen the video, go to www.evanescence.com and then comment below
-went to intervarsity large group yesterday; they do indeed seem to go a bit deeper on friday than other christian fellowships; however, they followed the same form as other friday groups; have a 1-2 hr fellowship, then just kick it back for the rest of the night; they didn't even say to meet up at a person's place. however, their message was a bit deeper; i took some notes on my cell notepad. their worship is a bit more old-skool though; not like hymns, but where we sorta have the "revised-hymns," or playing hymns w/contemporary worship style, except they tended to play slower; if i was going on the basis of worship alone i would choose msm, the one i'd gone to the most, but of course, me and jon need to see if their small groups are deep or not...
-i found out i actually have a place to put my .mp3s on the web(right now i don't feel like putting it all over mp3.com, and i don't have the time to create a website right now):
http://f1.up.briefcase.yahoo.com/edit/recharred_sigh/reg?.done=http%3a//briefcase.yahoo.com/
i can apparently use the briefcase thing from yahoo to create a site where guests can come in and just download, so that's cool; i'll set something up soon...
-i am revising my fave songs list(long time i did)... up to you to check it out if you want
-btw, evanescence's "going under" video is kinda freaky... everyone except the band members looks like they're some type of demon... now, knowing that evanescence is composed of christian musicians, were they trying to say something from that? if you haven't seen the video, go to www.evanescence.com and then comment below
Thursday, October 09, 2003
internet @apt's been acting weird... and i know it doesn't have to do with my wireless card... now often i take my laptop and wireless card to ucd and i get a perfectly good wireless connection in a quiet lounge near the noisy cafeteria... speaking of which, the griffin lounge(that's where it's called), is prob my 2nd fave place to hang out @ucd besides the games area(3rd's the library, but that's for studying purposes)... the wireless connection in this room is EXCELLANT... and it's quiet... in fact, it's arguable, that excluding the noise OUTSIDE the area(and the church bell clock which goes off every half and top of the hour), it's more quiet than the library!
back to learning msh vs sf, after i somehow got another renewed interest in the game, and soundly whupped a masher, only to get crushed by a competitor-regular... apparently qcf+k,b+k is good for omega red, but i overuse it... *smacks self upside the head when he realizes he should've used the air dash*
note to self: print transcript; then it'll be easier to motivate myself to find some way to change my major..., another note to self: buy some more groceries...
i'm wondering just how good i could get at cooking; i'm not whipping up something incredible everyday, but for my purposes i am more-or-less able to create something to eat with almost-from-scratch ingredients... also, i was able to more-or-less figure out the ingredients in the instant oatmeal before looking @the ingredients... it's pretty good: oatmeal, sugar, raisins, dates, walnuts, cinnamon... i should try buying the actual stuff, and try making it from scratch, will take more time, but i think it'll be worth it...
i rewatched nba 2K3's play of the season... while i think kobe's behind-the-back crossover to dunk was impressive, it doesn't warrant the play of the year... seriously, either t-mac's self alley-oop or arenas-to-jrich was better... probably the 2nd... but oh man, with the giants and a's knocked out, i just can't wait for bball season to pick up again...(oh yeah, fball, but then, i'm more of a bball fan) hope the warriors get adjusted FAST, and that the celtics actually draw closer to be eastern conference champs again... they sadly still can't beat the nets, who are i admit, as for now the best in the east... we'll see though...
as for my songwriting progress, i'm writing the lyrics of another new song... that's where i'm currently at...
later, my friends; there's work to be done
back to learning msh vs sf, after i somehow got another renewed interest in the game, and soundly whupped a masher, only to get crushed by a competitor-regular... apparently qcf+k,b+k is good for omega red, but i overuse it... *smacks self upside the head when he realizes he should've used the air dash*
note to self: print transcript; then it'll be easier to motivate myself to find some way to change my major..., another note to self: buy some more groceries...
i'm wondering just how good i could get at cooking; i'm not whipping up something incredible everyday, but for my purposes i am more-or-less able to create something to eat with almost-from-scratch ingredients... also, i was able to more-or-less figure out the ingredients in the instant oatmeal before looking @the ingredients... it's pretty good: oatmeal, sugar, raisins, dates, walnuts, cinnamon... i should try buying the actual stuff, and try making it from scratch, will take more time, but i think it'll be worth it...
i rewatched nba 2K3's play of the season... while i think kobe's behind-the-back crossover to dunk was impressive, it doesn't warrant the play of the year... seriously, either t-mac's self alley-oop or arenas-to-jrich was better... probably the 2nd... but oh man, with the giants and a's knocked out, i just can't wait for bball season to pick up again...(oh yeah, fball, but then, i'm more of a bball fan) hope the warriors get adjusted FAST, and that the celtics actually draw closer to be eastern conference champs again... they sadly still can't beat the nets, who are i admit, as for now the best in the east... we'll see though...
as for my songwriting progress, i'm writing the lyrics of another new song... that's where i'm currently at...
later, my friends; there's work to be done
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
great... i'm being bogged down, and have a reluctance to do work lately... damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit... how am i gonna motivate myself to study? i wished all the lectures would stop until i caught up with the material before i moved on... it was still my fault, but yeah... ykno...
man... no tfc, no cs... and to top it off, without those things to distract me, and i am STILL behind in readings... that's gotta suck...
ok, i guess it's official; arnold schwarzenegger is our governor... kinda like phil has jesse ventura(correct me if he's not minnesota's current governor, i'm not big on current events) for minnesota... again, before you ppl start freaking out, i do have to remind you, we will never find out exactly how well arnold does til he becomes and performs as our governor... well, he's his chance; i can only pray for him and hope that he leads our state well, out of the hole davis supposedly dug, instead of digging it deeper... now, we can't argue with him, we just gotta advise him and then support him and hope all goes well...
a's are gone, giants are gone... ugh... not good, not good...
later, i should go work... (damnit, intervarsity's site is still down)
man... no tfc, no cs... and to top it off, without those things to distract me, and i am STILL behind in readings... that's gotta suck...
ok, i guess it's official; arnold schwarzenegger is our governor... kinda like phil has jesse ventura(correct me if he's not minnesota's current governor, i'm not big on current events) for minnesota... again, before you ppl start freaking out, i do have to remind you, we will never find out exactly how well arnold does til he becomes and performs as our governor... well, he's his chance; i can only pray for him and hope that he leads our state well, out of the hole davis supposedly dug, instead of digging it deeper... now, we can't argue with him, we just gotta advise him and then support him and hope all goes well...
a's are gone, giants are gone... ugh... not good, not good...
later, i should go work... (damnit, intervarsity's site is still down)
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
leave it to me to leave my cs 5-pack @home... now that i've finally installed cs 1.6 on my desktop, it turns out i need the CD key... again... aurgh! (but i'll be ok... hopefully my grades will go up while i can't cs)...
instant oatmeal is so unsatisfying... i admit it's pretty tasty, but the single serving packet is so dinky, i have to eat 2 of those to be satisfied; and even after that i'm still slightly hungry; i should've bought the actual quaker oatmeal instead; it would've taken longer though, and i would've had to buy some dark brown sugar too, maybe some cinnamon too(adding brown sugar to oatmeal is really good)...
and now yahoogroups starts to act up upon me, so my college friends can't listen to the .mp3s i uploaded to them... weird...
argh... i'm kinda in a bind here... i can't decide whether i want to get rid of prov 9:10, prov 3:5-6, or matt 6:33; i think i'll get rid of prov 9:10 and matt 6:33
remember the fundamentals; i suppose you've remembered this stressed to you when playing bball and everything you're doing's falling apart; remember the fundamentals; it can't be said any better than christianity too; lately i've found that when you start getting bogged down in the middle of the old testament reading about punishment and sins and all, that it doesn't hurt to go back to the gospels and skim it for words of wisdom once again; the more you read the bible, the more insight you gain from the same passages; i've begun to realize mark 12:29-31 and john 10:9-10 are some of the most valuable bible verses i've ever stumbled across:
-ever since i've rewritten my lesson on worship, i've gained a lot through it, and one of those things is this: worshipping should be #1, not serving others; mark 12:29-31 sums this up very well, and it's very hard NOT to get this passage; when i was younger i just sorta skimmed past it, not really getting what it was trying to say, and what it is try to say is this; yes, you need to serve your neighbor, but you need to concentrate upon God first, in worship, prayer, and bible reading; stray away from that, and even if it's in the name of caring for others, it is idolatry.
-john 10:9-10 has given new meaning to me ever since i've spent time around too many ppl who just seemed down with work, school, you name it. and these guys are christians. yet, jesus tells us right now, that when he came, not only would we have life, but we would HAVE IT TO THE FULL; have you never truly grasped how powerful these words are? it's why the 1st 3 fruits of the spirit are love, JOY, and PEACE. having life to the full means these things will be part of your life; does that mean that you will always be HAPPY? noo... but it does mean that you will feel a sense of peace in whatever you do... nothing will shake you... and this has a profound impact on me now...
the more philosophy classes i take @ucd, the more the philosophical terms are coming into my head... utilitarian... act utilitarian... rule utilitarian... kantianism... etc... the more we think about it the more we'd like to believe God is a utilitarianist; "greatest good," or basically, the most number of souls saved; yet the problem with utilitarianist thinking is that while most will be happy, a few won't, and sometimes that happiness is at the expense of the few. and you begin to realize that while God DOES want the majority to be saved, he NEVER wants to do it at the demise of a few human souls; that's why Jesus tells the parable of 99/100 sheep being safe, but God refuses to rest satisfied; he goes out himself to find that 1 lost sheep, and maybe this is just me, but if all 99 fell away but he found that 1 lost sheep, he would indeed be more happy over him than all the 99...
instant oatmeal is so unsatisfying... i admit it's pretty tasty, but the single serving packet is so dinky, i have to eat 2 of those to be satisfied; and even after that i'm still slightly hungry; i should've bought the actual quaker oatmeal instead; it would've taken longer though, and i would've had to buy some dark brown sugar too, maybe some cinnamon too(adding brown sugar to oatmeal is really good)...
and now yahoogroups starts to act up upon me, so my college friends can't listen to the .mp3s i uploaded to them... weird...
argh... i'm kinda in a bind here... i can't decide whether i want to get rid of prov 9:10, prov 3:5-6, or matt 6:33; i think i'll get rid of prov 9:10 and matt 6:33
remember the fundamentals; i suppose you've remembered this stressed to you when playing bball and everything you're doing's falling apart; remember the fundamentals; it can't be said any better than christianity too; lately i've found that when you start getting bogged down in the middle of the old testament reading about punishment and sins and all, that it doesn't hurt to go back to the gospels and skim it for words of wisdom once again; the more you read the bible, the more insight you gain from the same passages; i've begun to realize mark 12:29-31 and john 10:9-10 are some of the most valuable bible verses i've ever stumbled across:
-ever since i've rewritten my lesson on worship, i've gained a lot through it, and one of those things is this: worshipping should be #1, not serving others; mark 12:29-31 sums this up very well, and it's very hard NOT to get this passage; when i was younger i just sorta skimmed past it, not really getting what it was trying to say, and what it is try to say is this; yes, you need to serve your neighbor, but you need to concentrate upon God first, in worship, prayer, and bible reading; stray away from that, and even if it's in the name of caring for others, it is idolatry.
-john 10:9-10 has given new meaning to me ever since i've spent time around too many ppl who just seemed down with work, school, you name it. and these guys are christians. yet, jesus tells us right now, that when he came, not only would we have life, but we would HAVE IT TO THE FULL; have you never truly grasped how powerful these words are? it's why the 1st 3 fruits of the spirit are love, JOY, and PEACE. having life to the full means these things will be part of your life; does that mean that you will always be HAPPY? noo... but it does mean that you will feel a sense of peace in whatever you do... nothing will shake you... and this has a profound impact on me now...
the more philosophy classes i take @ucd, the more the philosophical terms are coming into my head... utilitarian... act utilitarian... rule utilitarian... kantianism... etc... the more we think about it the more we'd like to believe God is a utilitarianist; "greatest good," or basically, the most number of souls saved; yet the problem with utilitarianist thinking is that while most will be happy, a few won't, and sometimes that happiness is at the expense of the few. and you begin to realize that while God DOES want the majority to be saved, he NEVER wants to do it at the demise of a few human souls; that's why Jesus tells the parable of 99/100 sheep being safe, but God refuses to rest satisfied; he goes out himself to find that 1 lost sheep, and maybe this is just me, but if all 99 fell away but he found that 1 lost sheep, he would indeed be more happy over him than all the 99...
Monday, October 06, 2003
we had a power outage in davis today, so my alarm clock didn't go off... but God shows his grace again, cause i woke up 30 min later, instead of 2 hrs later... so i was able to get to class, just slightly late... i really appreciated that God... next time i'll set my cell phone alarm as well just to be sure...
just updated my friendster profile... this is the 1st time i've been on... phil invited me during the summer, but since the library didn't support cookies, i couldn't do anything... will add a pic later...
jon asked our little group whether it was better to be a hardcore christian w/no ppl skills or a softcore christian w/great ppl skills... i would go w/the 1st, since God commands it too; to love him, and THEN to serve others... seeking God's kingdom first also means all these things will be added unto you...
i've run outta juice of things to talk about... will write later
just updated my friendster profile... this is the 1st time i've been on... phil invited me during the summer, but since the library didn't support cookies, i couldn't do anything... will add a pic later...
jon asked our little group whether it was better to be a hardcore christian w/no ppl skills or a softcore christian w/great ppl skills... i would go w/the 1st, since God commands it too; to love him, and THEN to serve others... seeking God's kingdom first also means all these things will be added unto you...
i've run outta juice of things to talk about... will write later
sunday was the 1st time i made miso soup w/tofu and seaweed today in davis(plus a few other things thrown in), and hopefully i won't make the same mistake today; dried seaweed expands LIKE CRAZY; i put in what i thought was going to be about 1/2 a cup of seaweed, and it turned out to be a LOT more than that; my supposedly 1/2 a pot of miso soup turned into a full pot, and man, i feel so stuffed right now...(no, i didn't eat the whole thing; i filled my "leftovers bowl" full, and still had a lot to go left) otherwise it was fairly good, but i still don't like O.D.ing on seaweed, so i'll learn to put a LOT less than what i think is going to be in there... *groans at slightly bloated stomach*...
i didn't go to church again... pisses me off... i really should be able to control my time better, but i can't, and that brings me down even more... what's more, everytime i don't go to a christian thing, jon doesn't go either... i feel like sometimes i'm like a christian big brother to him in davis, in that i should be setting an example... i don't think i'm a better christian than him, but yeah, i think you know what i'm getting at... of course, i don't think you need to go to a church to save your soul, or to even draw closer to God, but you find accountability there... sometimes it can be so hard motivating yourself to take up the disciplines of christianity...
so instead i did some self-study today(for what may be the 1st self-study in the bible up in davis for a long time), and it occurred to me just how satisfying the bible is, since i haven't been reading it for a long time... eats up a LOT of my time though, so i'll read more now, but maybe keep it to 1-2 chapters a day to keep myself from getting too bogged down timewise... in jeremiah right now, and i found out that jeremiah, the reluctant prophet, was actually a priest, when God called him to service... sometimes we are just like jeremiah; think about it; we're christians, and yet we shrink away at the prospect of minstering to others; it makes as much sense as a priest who shrinks away at spreading the word to unhearing ears... i think for those of us who are like that(i know i am), we haven't really REALIZED that God is going to be with us... if God is for you, do you really need to worry about anything? also, it was interesting to see God count 2 sins towards the Israelites; falling away from him AND worshipping other gods... it's interesting, cause usually the 2 happen in one shot, and sometimes could be considered as one, but God counts them at 2... kinda like breaking the 1st 2 commandments... i wonder if it's possible to break one of them without the other...
i think wes forgot i existed, is too socal right now to recognize me, or forgot my screen name entirely; everytime i try to strike up conversation with him on AIM so far, he's either signed off or not responded to me at all... dude, at least tell me you're busy! dark side of cali indeed! you socal'rz... (and it's funny how only the true norcal'rz of our church are seen on AIM now as frequently... me, jon, and jerm... sometimes sam... the rest of them are just ignoring us completely :D)
ever notice how sometimes you're glad God made you like your parents, and other times you wish you weren't like them? i'm finding that more and more i'm like my mom in liking to cook(actually my mom dislikes cooking, but is pretty good at it) and copying her, also, i notice since i wrap all my supermarket groceries in plastic produce bags even if they're processed foods that it annoys the cashiers sometimes(this is something i also have picked up from my mom)... the elderly woman in charge of my groceries was fumbling trying to get the 6 yogurt cups i bought out(with the bag over the upc, it's kinda hard to read it), and so while i was kinda sorry for doing that, it was funny watching the frustration coming over her... finally instead of fooling around with the knot i made, she just ripped open the bag and then proceeded to scan the cups normally...
i've noticed that aside from referring to the attributes of God, jeremy camp usually doesn't say "God" or "Jesus" straight out on his songs... i've looked at the lyrics of his songs, and realized that indeed this guy's music wouldn't hurt to give to a nonchristian friend... the sad part though is that christian music that talks about loving God, but doesn't use his name can fool nonchristians into thinking about love for the opposite sex and nothing else... i remember that before i found out lifehouse was a christian band that i thought "hanging by a moment" was a song about being drunk with love for the opposite sex, or something like that...
there are like 3+ stations up here in davis for K-Love, but NONE for Air1, which is the sister of K-Love... boourns! who needs more than 1 station for K-Love? are all the christian music guys up here conservative while ppl, who can't take alternative rock? (well, i can't say that completely, cause jeremy camp DID come up to davis, see my LONG post)
i didn't go to church again... pisses me off... i really should be able to control my time better, but i can't, and that brings me down even more... what's more, everytime i don't go to a christian thing, jon doesn't go either... i feel like sometimes i'm like a christian big brother to him in davis, in that i should be setting an example... i don't think i'm a better christian than him, but yeah, i think you know what i'm getting at... of course, i don't think you need to go to a church to save your soul, or to even draw closer to God, but you find accountability there... sometimes it can be so hard motivating yourself to take up the disciplines of christianity...
so instead i did some self-study today(for what may be the 1st self-study in the bible up in davis for a long time), and it occurred to me just how satisfying the bible is, since i haven't been reading it for a long time... eats up a LOT of my time though, so i'll read more now, but maybe keep it to 1-2 chapters a day to keep myself from getting too bogged down timewise... in jeremiah right now, and i found out that jeremiah, the reluctant prophet, was actually a priest, when God called him to service... sometimes we are just like jeremiah; think about it; we're christians, and yet we shrink away at the prospect of minstering to others; it makes as much sense as a priest who shrinks away at spreading the word to unhearing ears... i think for those of us who are like that(i know i am), we haven't really REALIZED that God is going to be with us... if God is for you, do you really need to worry about anything? also, it was interesting to see God count 2 sins towards the Israelites; falling away from him AND worshipping other gods... it's interesting, cause usually the 2 happen in one shot, and sometimes could be considered as one, but God counts them at 2... kinda like breaking the 1st 2 commandments... i wonder if it's possible to break one of them without the other...
i think wes forgot i existed, is too socal right now to recognize me, or forgot my screen name entirely; everytime i try to strike up conversation with him on AIM so far, he's either signed off or not responded to me at all... dude, at least tell me you're busy! dark side of cali indeed! you socal'rz... (and it's funny how only the true norcal'rz of our church are seen on AIM now as frequently... me, jon, and jerm... sometimes sam... the rest of them are just ignoring us completely :D)
ever notice how sometimes you're glad God made you like your parents, and other times you wish you weren't like them? i'm finding that more and more i'm like my mom in liking to cook(actually my mom dislikes cooking, but is pretty good at it) and copying her, also, i notice since i wrap all my supermarket groceries in plastic produce bags even if they're processed foods that it annoys the cashiers sometimes(this is something i also have picked up from my mom)... the elderly woman in charge of my groceries was fumbling trying to get the 6 yogurt cups i bought out(with the bag over the upc, it's kinda hard to read it), and so while i was kinda sorry for doing that, it was funny watching the frustration coming over her... finally instead of fooling around with the knot i made, she just ripped open the bag and then proceeded to scan the cups normally...
i've noticed that aside from referring to the attributes of God, jeremy camp usually doesn't say "God" or "Jesus" straight out on his songs... i've looked at the lyrics of his songs, and realized that indeed this guy's music wouldn't hurt to give to a nonchristian friend... the sad part though is that christian music that talks about loving God, but doesn't use his name can fool nonchristians into thinking about love for the opposite sex and nothing else... i remember that before i found out lifehouse was a christian band that i thought "hanging by a moment" was a song about being drunk with love for the opposite sex, or something like that...
there are like 3+ stations up here in davis for K-Love, but NONE for Air1, which is the sister of K-Love... boourns! who needs more than 1 station for K-Love? are all the christian music guys up here conservative while ppl, who can't take alternative rock? (well, i can't say that completely, cause jeremy camp DID come up to davis, see my LONG post)
Sunday, October 05, 2003
1st time back at msm since i first rearrived in davis, on friday, and 1st time jon's ever gone to their class fellowship after the friday service yesterday... yeap... rowdy as ever, can't ever forget that... some of those guys just crack me up, especially when we were playing the game where you need to imitate a sign of other ppl... eh, it was fun... "WASH MY LAUNDRY!"
also, it was kinda funny watching all the guys(and some girls) from msm ooh and ahh over jon's g35... i probably expected them to go "you've got a GPS system TOOO?!?!?" as well...
yes! there's an asian market in downtown davis! miso and tofu! the essentials to cooking an easy soup! i think i'm gonna call up my mom and ask how to cook beef stew just to be sure how to do it, in times that i don't feel like cooking chicken soup again and again... also, i should look for cheap trout soon, for variation...
intervarsity doesn't advertise too much around UCD... only their website does... well, i guess every fellowship everywhere is somewhat underadvertised; in ucla that fellowship is absk... here, intervarsity and msm only gets advertised near the beginning...
safeway is so much cheaper than albertson's... the extra distance i have to travel around davis to buy groceries is so much worth it...
ok, i'm stuck in finding what to talk about, later... besides, i need to cook my dinner... then i gotta do my reading and stuff...
i actually somewhat miss freshman year in davis; the dorms made internet access much more reliable, it was easier getting to and from campus, meals were easier on your time, and i got to see nature up close a LOT more (let's not forget how i saw a peacock up-close after breakfast near our dorms, that was awesome seeing God's creation up-close)... the only real plus side is that now i have a lot more living space, it's somewhat more quiet, and i can prepare my own meals at my own leisure...
it seems that often what was highly valued during the old testament has turned more and more into our idols that we worship today... being diligent in work, and earning a lot of money was considered good a way long time back in jewish times, and yet, now, activity is an idol over God... same thing with money... i wonder if God thinks time can be an idol over him? probably... though we don't say it like that, i know we just set time to do other stuff over God, and that's bad...
ok, later, i should really go do some stuff...
also, it was kinda funny watching all the guys(and some girls) from msm ooh and ahh over jon's g35... i probably expected them to go "you've got a GPS system TOOO?!?!?" as well...
yes! there's an asian market in downtown davis! miso and tofu! the essentials to cooking an easy soup! i think i'm gonna call up my mom and ask how to cook beef stew just to be sure how to do it, in times that i don't feel like cooking chicken soup again and again... also, i should look for cheap trout soon, for variation...
intervarsity doesn't advertise too much around UCD... only their website does... well, i guess every fellowship everywhere is somewhat underadvertised; in ucla that fellowship is absk... here, intervarsity and msm only gets advertised near the beginning...
safeway is so much cheaper than albertson's... the extra distance i have to travel around davis to buy groceries is so much worth it...
ok, i'm stuck in finding what to talk about, later... besides, i need to cook my dinner... then i gotta do my reading and stuff...
i actually somewhat miss freshman year in davis; the dorms made internet access much more reliable, it was easier getting to and from campus, meals were easier on your time, and i got to see nature up close a LOT more (let's not forget how i saw a peacock up-close after breakfast near our dorms, that was awesome seeing God's creation up-close)... the only real plus side is that now i have a lot more living space, it's somewhat more quiet, and i can prepare my own meals at my own leisure...
it seems that often what was highly valued during the old testament has turned more and more into our idols that we worship today... being diligent in work, and earning a lot of money was considered good a way long time back in jewish times, and yet, now, activity is an idol over God... same thing with money... i wonder if God thinks time can be an idol over him? probably... though we don't say it like that, i know we just set time to do other stuff over God, and that's bad...
ok, later, i should really go do some stuff...
Thursday, October 02, 2003
i apologize if i am stuffing all this info down your throat at once; my apartment's internet wasn't available until now. that, and the fact that i couldn't figure how to config my laptop so i could use the wireless connection all over the davis campus...
tuesday: 9/23
so i finally have left home... it was hard to realize it, tough to let go... seriously, sometimes i feel like there's so much i could've done during summer, but wasted... such is life, but you can't turn back... even though none of the other guys had problems with quitting with combo movies in COTA and trying to songwrite, i think the others wished there was more they got out spiritually too. it was funny leaving home though; i stalled just when i was just about to leave, as if the car didn't want to leave cupertino either :D
there was a rush hour when i left, which added 1 hr to the time i needed to get to UCD, but it was all good; i enjoyed the ride there... i didn't really do anything when i finally unpacked, just sorta hoped for the best, ate, and went to sleep; we haven't gotten internet yet, which is why this log is long overdue...
and i still miss air1; it's true; i've grown to love cupertino radio stations:
air1: 100.9; by far my favorite radio station ever; i would have never imagined a christian radio station playing ALTERNATIVE ROCK...
channel: 104.9, also a good runner up, for secular alternative rock...
ksjo: 92.3, when you wanna hear harder, older skool rock, also a good station
... and there's the other various radio stations i had back down there, 94.9,
106.1, 89.3, etc...
i will also once again miss playing with the young adults, with bob leading worship on sundays, and just getting together on saturday to kick back and relax practicing for worship on sunday... small group worship is always something i relish, and something i wish we could do more often...
btw, it seems my cell doesn't get good reception at davis; maybe it's just my phone, although it is situational; when i got to UCD, i could see more than 3 bars of reception, whereas in my room there are none at all... so if you call me, don't be surprised if you can only leave a message; i apologize ahead of time...
wednesday: 9/24
got up early, but since i went to sleep later, i got up, turned off the alarm clock(for some reason even though i set it to a christian radio station before hitting the bed, it changed to some mexican station when i woke up), then went right back to sleep... pitiful... btw, this was the 1st time i ever ate kashi, the go lean crunch type; it's not bad; kinda like a crunchier kellogg's smacks, but with cinnamon added...
i also took the unitrans to school to buy books(the bus schedule actually looks a lot more reliable every time i take a closer look; i could get used to using it a lot), where i actually met andrew ho, a now college freshman; this guy went to kennedy as well as monta vista; we were in the same bio ap class, and did a group project together. i think he was as surprised to see me as i was, but it's all good; surprisingly, he's also living in the same apartment area as i was last year.
it seems that everytime i think of the number of things i need to do(change major, meaning i need to find an adviser to sign my petition, but i didn't have an adviser last year, also i need to update my apartment info, since i didn't fully fill it in, etc, mayber change my schedule, or buy some more books?), i get overwhelmed...
oh yeah, our UCD arcade now has time crises 3; it looks pretty impressive; it reminds me of the FPS games on the cpu, but gone arcade; now you have limited ammo(discourages random firing and then just ducking to reload), and can toggle between a handgun, machine gun, shotgun, and grenade launcher during a game; you shoot special people to gain ammo to any of those guns. i could imagine that the next best arcade shooter would be one which combines the principles of time crisis 3 with police 911-2; you now can hide by your movement, and need to reload manually with your hand(or something like that), as well as having limited ammo and a variety of guns to go by... that would be sweet...
and finally, today was the 1st day i actually cooked a meal(and i mean that i actually got out a pot and made a soup, instead of pouring cannned chili into a bowl, sticking it in a microwave and nuking it)... i think i made a good won-ton soup(i'll of course give credit to morris' mom for making the won tons; i only had to put them in the pot, then add vegetables and salt later... it was fine, but i think i either added too much water or too little salt; probably the 2nd, but i can't tell; i tried adding about the same amount of salt my mom does, but it didn't make the soup that well, otherwise, i think it was good; not bad for a 1st try; i'll imagine i get better at this as i go along...
i think in my spare time i'll devote myself to thinking more about worship as well as songwriting; last year i spent WAY too much time just playing cpu games, and that ruined the potential there; this year, it's gonna be different; hopefully, no capcom gaming, and very minimal, controlled csing(which admittedly is gonna be tough, since 1.6 came out, but i'll find strength in God)... also, this summer i didn't get to talk to the youth about worship, because i felt i wasn't ready; by giving myself time to really think about God and guitars, instead of ak47s and awps, i should be able to get some really good thoughts down...
oh yeah, i want to ball a lot more in davis now; seriously, it seems that the more i age, the more i love bball; i regret how when mj was still at his best that i was concerned about other things; i liked the bulls at the time, but i had never really studied how mj played; he is still my all-time favorite baller, but now i wish i'd watched him play SERIOUSLY, instead of just sucking up and leaving it at that... it was only during senior year of high school when i had 5 classes that i had a lotta free time to play sega sports' nba 2k(also something i have to thank for getting me into bball; was the 1st truly realistic bball game i ever played), and to watch many nba on nbc games... that was when i truly developed the love for bball, and i feel it's ever growing... i can't wait for bball season to start again... which is good and bad(am i concentrating too much on earthly things? makes me wonder why i don't share the same passion about friday nights(well, sometimes i do), as well as sunday mornings...)
so... it begins... tomorrow morning... this is one reason i dislike school; the potential to become even stronger is there, but the potential to become even weaker is also there, because if there is adversity, and you face up to it and overcome it, you become stronger, but if the adversity is there, and you sucuumb to the pressure, you reveal just how weak you are... of course, i don't HATE it with a vengence, but i wish i were stronger...
thursday: 9/25
ran into one of the friends i met at msm... that was cool...
got lost again... (is this a trend of mine? to get lost on one of my 1st days back at UCD? happened last year...)
ooo... free jeremy camp show w/telocast on friday... this should be good, but i gotta find out where central park is in davis...
moved up a notch in cooking... instead of won tons, i tossed in frozen chicken tenders... hey, they were raw, so...
they were showing terminator 2, so i watched that... haha... usa was showing all these arnold movies during the whole week and calling it "arnold: man of action..." but i dunno if that's gonna make him a good candidate for governor, but like i always say, you can never tell how he's gonna do until you elect him... at least for you naysayers, the good thing is he can never be a us president; the us president candidate has to be natural-borne in the us... T-2 still was fun to rewatch again... it's funny how after john connor makes the terminator promise not to kill any humans, that any humans he shoots afterward are in the kneecap... and rewatching it again i realized near the end he used the grenade launcher a LOT more... when he knocked the T-1000 into the molten pool he wasn't using a sniper rifle; THAT was the grenade launcher which the T-1000 grabbed out of his hands and flung away; when i was young and watched that part i thought it was an assault rifle... also that chain of ammo around the terminator near the end wasn't bullets... those were grenades for the grenade launcher...
friday: 9/26
still w/o internet...
i also got up so friggin late, cause bio discussion doesn't happen this week, so i have only one class, at 4:10-5:00. not to mention i stayed up late trying to read 3 more chapters of isaiah.
today was overall a great day though... probably so far my best day in UCD; i had only one class in the late afternoon, giving me time to do whatever... but that's not the reason why i had so much fun...
me and jon went to a FREE show with the liani moore band, telocast, but most importantly... JEREMY CAMP! (boy, NOW am i glad i stayed in davis this weekend as opposed to going home and seeing switchfoot, and btw if i had gotten internet earlier in davis,(or at least figured out that i could've gone to the computer room at ucd to access my email) i would've told all the youth and some of the young adults in the hopes that they'd come up, it was a great show) makes me wonder if jeremy camp loves davis; he was gonna play in an area close to davis last year as a guest artist to bebo norman...
here's my thoughts after that concert:
the liani moore band was the band me and jon saw at College Life fellowship; seeing the drummer do her stuff was again nice to rewatch. www.lianimooreband.com if you wanna know more about them.
telocast was a recently new christian band entering the music scene; only one song of theirs was recently started to be played on air1, however they're great on-stage; jon decided since they're new(and he liked the 2nd song they played on their set) to get their CD at their booth after the show; he also got it signed by all 4 band members; they had one goof-off, where the lead singer/acoustic guitarist started off their title song in too low a key, then he stopped before the band started, apologized and said, "if the band came in after that, then it'd be a whole shipwreck," and that got me and jon and the others around us laughing...
jeremy camp... dude, what can i say... if you liked him on his CD, you will LOVE him onstage... i didn't even come into the show really liking him(liked him, but not like he was my favorite artist), but after the show... i was sold... he is such a funny personality(mustve cracked jokes throughout the concert), yet he was sincere enough to share his testimony, which was a touching story of how he married a chemo patient who was deeply concentrated upon christ, and even though she died, he realized how God was calling him to deeper things. as for his music onstage... it was LOUD(having the drums, bass, and lead guitar louder than the vocals is what good concert music is about; sure, you can't tell what he's saying as well compared to the CD, but who goes to concerts to be philosophical and reflective? loud music draws you into it), ENERGETIC, HARD, and GOOD... it was electric onstage... btw, my favorite highlight was during the song "stay," ryan, the electric guitarist, took his guitar, and swung it a 360 around his shoulder by the strap, then catching it, before launching into a lead guitar solo not found on the CD version of the song... got a buncha oohs and aahs from the crowd... i wanna do that, but i need a strap that won't fly off first :D also, hearing him using the delay pedal makes me reconsider getting it again... also, another funny incident was when jeremy wanted to get the whole audience to act goofy and start dancing during a song, and then he started saying in a menacing voice "this is a FUN concert! we WILL have fun!" which was hilarious... i decided to buy his CD after the show and 2 guitar picks with his name on it :D then i got his CD signed by him, and we even had some small chat afterward... i appreciate how he tries to really to get to know everyone he meets... the signing line was so long! made longer by the fact that he tried to have small chat with everyone he signed something of, as opposed to some artists who just sign and shake hands. too bad i didn't have a digital camera, and jon didn't bring his, or i would've taken pictures of the concert me and jon went to... it definitely made me glad i stayed in davis this weekend... at first a few weeks ago i would've been bummed to not see switchfoot, but i don't even like them that much... this concert blew that notion out the window... amazing how God shows us better things along our journey even when we think it's not for the better... jon agreed with me too; jeremy camp is GOOD onstage... he's probably also gonna buy his music, except that because he was short on cash, he settled for telocast, since they're smaller, probably you can find jeremy camp a lot more places.
btw, i got a few words of wisdom from God about the subject of worship, which i wrote down this morning; a lot of the stuff i wrote down looks like something that could easily be applicable to the postponed worship lesson i had planned for the youth...
oh yeah, finally, before i close for tonight, i had a pretty dumb azn bus driver today; she couldn't get the bus started, then called out to the azn driver next to her, saying,
"i can't get my bus to start! i hold down the ignition!"
"did you remember to put the bus in neutral?"
*dumb bus driver puts bus in neutral, then tries again; bus starts immediately*
*helpful bus driver gives a big grin and gives a thumbs up*
*all the girls around me start to snicker*
i then quip, "no comment" to the girl next to me, and she responds with "i know"
(oh yeah, i don't think she knows the route either; some girl asked,
"can you drop me at lake and covell?"
"here?" hahahaha...)
saturday: 9/27
it never really dawns on me just how much humans are like God, in the relation that they love to create. even if you aren't creative, there's something found in the joy of being able to say "i made something out of nothing;" i guess then i like being creative myself(i wonder if it has something with being left-handed, and thus, being right-brained, since the right brain is the more creative side of our brains). when i was young i LOVED to doodle(and while i never break out a pen and paper anymore, sometimes i undergo artistic ventures; my buddy icon was made by me completely by scratch in my spare time), when i'm older i now love playing the guitar and creating my own songs; also since i was always into fighting games, i love the prospect of being able to create a combo which wasn't written down before(and recording it, if it can be played on my emulator), as well as writing FAQs about them. and now, i'm starting to like cooking; mind you, i still can't create my own recipes, but with what i've done so far at davis, i like(it's still more complex than anything else my roommates have done so far). i started adding more stuff into the chicken tender soup i commonly have made up at davis. it seems though that potatoes give out SOOO much water... usually i only ended up with 1/2 a pot of soup, but by the time i finished, i almost had a full pot... i also added black pepper and fresh garlic to it, which actually was a good move. i had questioned the adding of garlic right after i was done cooking, but it apparently got cooked in whatever heat was left in the pot, so it wasn't necessary to cook it longer. and i still have some left over to eat on sunday!
i can't even begin then, in such a manner to realize the joy God must've had in creating humans; at the time, it was his highest skilled work; an organism who could think on its own. after he created it, he simply said "well done" but he was probably estatic with joy. and the more i reflect upon it, i wonder what gave God greater joy; the creation of humans, or the redemption of them right after Jesus died. i mean, the redemption suddenly gave the entire world hope once again, but for God, it was bittersweet, having to watch Jesus die upon the cross, writhing in pain.
i met up with some family in davis; i dunno too much about them admittedly, only that sam did babysit them, and that the older sister, amy, is a freshman here in davis. interesting; i should ask my mom again how the mother knows me(my memory is not jogging)
i wrote some more about the worship lesson i was planning; strangely, i stayed up til 2:00 writing cause things were popping into my head as i was going along...
i'm starting to wonder if my height scale at home is incorrect... am i already 6'0? maybe i should just make one and see how tall i am...
because the bus schedule stopped at 5:00 today, and because i stopped by the arcade to waste a few quarters to play time crisis 3, i had to walk home... took me a LONG time, because i had pretty much all my books in my backpack, and since my backpack gets jammed easily now, i didn't want to rush it... i wasted a lot of time, but i wonder if it'll come back to give me something beneficial for hiking such a long distance... maybe this is why my legs are so strong in enduring fatigue?
monday: 9/29
i just realized that the uc bookstore DOES sell UCD cutoffs and gym shorts; i'm planning on buying the gym shorts, and then MAYBE the cutoffs; i realized looking at both of them that with their array of navy blue, gold yellow, and white colors, that if i wore it and a yellow headband and yellow armband that i'd be jermaine o'neal :D
because of some org chem lab screwup, i have to stay longer @the university tomorrow to make up a lab, which i came on time, but the TA wasn't there, so we all left... *mumbles under breath*
btw, i realized a while ago, that since spiders don't actually eat their prey, but instead suck in their nutrients, i guess they don't crap then, eh? so when i saw a spider lately lay out a web string to climb down a ceiling, then pulled it back inside it to climb back up, i suddenly came to a stunning conclusion i never really grasped before: the webbing coming into/out of a spider is actually its crap! seriously, think about it; what else does a spider secrete out of its body besides its digestive juices? amazing how God creates creatures. i think sometimes we honestly look at the weird creatures around us and go "God... WHYY?" and God'll probably go, "cause i thought it'd be cool; i want that creature to frolic" i still dislike spiders; don't want to touch them, the bigger and hairier they are, the more i dislike them, and dislike running into their webs, but y'kno, after thinking about their ingenuity more and more, you come to realize just how special they are in God's eyes, and respect them; it does not fear the insect, even though it is blind(it has 8 eyes, but it has VERY limited vision); it doesn't need to crap, and it can do something useful with its crap (imagine the elimination of all toilets if we crapped out string strong enough to hold us from a celing from our asses, and could pull it back in if we wanted)... i think though very few girls'll think of that when they see a spider... only freak out then either try to run away or call some guy to come in and kill it :D
time crisis 3 seems more difficult than the previous time crisis; i like that; they put less emphasis upon completing the game by time, but make the enemies harder to kill and tougher; sure, it's frustrating at times, but i think it makes the game a lot more challenging, and thus more fun. it also seems that you can't just let go of the pedal at the last moment and duck any projectile; you need to duck a certain period before the projectile hits you. also, i just LOVE hosing ppl down with the machine gun! of course, the key to this game is knowing when to stick to the handgun(which still has unlimited ammo as long as you duck to reload), when to use the 2 firearms(both of which have their weaknesses and strengths; the machine gun has a ton of ammo and rapid-fires, the shotgun does a ton of damage and spreads a lot), and when to use the grenade launcher as a last resort(the number of grenades you carry with it are VERY few, like 2 usually and then if you get lucky, 5), i think the key is this; stick with the handgun if you can, but if you can't, or run into harder opponents, ones which require more than 6 shots to kill, or ones carrying better weaponry, switch to the machine gun, or the shotgun if they're spread out more. against many heavy artillery at once, use the grenade launcher.
wednesday: 10/1
life's starting to settle into monotonousness... i wonder if i'll be able to rekindle the christian joy i think about so much... i admittedly have NOT really been spending time with God lately...
today i saw that the uc davis mu arcade place was actually holding a buncha capcom fighting game tourneys; no, i didn't join, cause i actually went to the area around early evening, and by then, the brackets were pretty much set...
btw, it's occurred to me that i'm still wearing my summer attire so far, even though fall's pretty much starting... gym shorts, and t-shirt... sometimes no t-shirt at all, when i'm in the apartment... and i still go barefoot in the apartment... davis can seem so hot sometimes... i love it like that though; at certain times, it's painful to endure; ever try running to catch a bus with a loaded backpack and a couple of things in your arms while sweat's dripping down into the armpits of your t-shirt? (whoops, too much info)... it's worth it though; i love wear gym shorts and t-shirt/no tee as opposed to t-shirt and jeans... and it gives a real appreciation for water, as you thirst for it pretty often... which only makes psalm 63:1-8 even more deep in meaning once you get this thirst
rite aid's ice cream(which is really thrifty's), is extremely cheap this week; $1.99/half gallon; i bought their espresso & biscotti flavor... it's GOOD... no wonder why thrifty's ice cream is award winning! their coffee ice cream is just FuLL of coffee flavor, and the addition of chocolate biscotti really gives it a very nice crunch to it... i encourage you the reader to go out and get it sometime this week; only sells at that price this week. IMO it's better than the commonplace mocha almond fudge flavor...
btw, after contemplating in bio how harmful hydrogenated vegetable oil is, and yet how it's pretty much adding some hydrogen into the vegetable oil, which somehow manages to change its shape, it's really dawned upon me how strange God's created this world... it seems the more we study it, the more weird it gets... have you ever considered how just adding hydrogen to your healthy vegetable oil suddenly makes it 2x worse than saturated fat? it's weird to think about...
i saw some guys/girls in the back of the bus i took to class today being extremely raucous and pulling the signal-thing repeatedly on the way... and it pissed me off, cause of the immaturish way they were acting... they were acting like kids... and then the bus stopped them in from of the elementary school on the way to ucd, and a whole bunch of them got out! they WERE kids! and then i sorta went, "err... ok, maybe i was a bit too judgmental" besides, i had to admit, i was a bit harsh... if you aren't to act rediculous at least one period in your life, you'll probably have no life...
getting better @time crisis 3... i see the ppl who play the game the most will switch their weapons the most... also, they will fire their handgun rounds faster; i noticed one of them uses his middle finger to fire the gun(it's easier to shoot faster), so maybe i'll try that sometime...
i wonder when the pg&e bill comes... so far i haven't gotten it...
"and i've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down/ in ways i never knew before i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ i've been burnt out, broken, torn out, torn down/ in ways i never knew i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ one day at a time"
jeremy camp
(i wished i could make this my words as well; it is really something to be able to feel the pain, but feel even greater joy)
tuesday: 9/23
so i finally have left home... it was hard to realize it, tough to let go... seriously, sometimes i feel like there's so much i could've done during summer, but wasted... such is life, but you can't turn back... even though none of the other guys had problems with quitting with combo movies in COTA and trying to songwrite, i think the others wished there was more they got out spiritually too. it was funny leaving home though; i stalled just when i was just about to leave, as if the car didn't want to leave cupertino either :D
there was a rush hour when i left, which added 1 hr to the time i needed to get to UCD, but it was all good; i enjoyed the ride there... i didn't really do anything when i finally unpacked, just sorta hoped for the best, ate, and went to sleep; we haven't gotten internet yet, which is why this log is long overdue...
and i still miss air1; it's true; i've grown to love cupertino radio stations:
air1: 100.9; by far my favorite radio station ever; i would have never imagined a christian radio station playing ALTERNATIVE ROCK...
channel: 104.9, also a good runner up, for secular alternative rock...
ksjo: 92.3, when you wanna hear harder, older skool rock, also a good station
... and there's the other various radio stations i had back down there, 94.9,
106.1, 89.3, etc...
i will also once again miss playing with the young adults, with bob leading worship on sundays, and just getting together on saturday to kick back and relax practicing for worship on sunday... small group worship is always something i relish, and something i wish we could do more often...
btw, it seems my cell doesn't get good reception at davis; maybe it's just my phone, although it is situational; when i got to UCD, i could see more than 3 bars of reception, whereas in my room there are none at all... so if you call me, don't be surprised if you can only leave a message; i apologize ahead of time...
wednesday: 9/24
got up early, but since i went to sleep later, i got up, turned off the alarm clock(for some reason even though i set it to a christian radio station before hitting the bed, it changed to some mexican station when i woke up), then went right back to sleep... pitiful... btw, this was the 1st time i ever ate kashi, the go lean crunch type; it's not bad; kinda like a crunchier kellogg's smacks, but with cinnamon added...
i also took the unitrans to school to buy books(the bus schedule actually looks a lot more reliable every time i take a closer look; i could get used to using it a lot), where i actually met andrew ho, a now college freshman; this guy went to kennedy as well as monta vista; we were in the same bio ap class, and did a group project together. i think he was as surprised to see me as i was, but it's all good; surprisingly, he's also living in the same apartment area as i was last year.
it seems that everytime i think of the number of things i need to do(change major, meaning i need to find an adviser to sign my petition, but i didn't have an adviser last year, also i need to update my apartment info, since i didn't fully fill it in, etc, mayber change my schedule, or buy some more books?), i get overwhelmed...
oh yeah, our UCD arcade now has time crises 3; it looks pretty impressive; it reminds me of the FPS games on the cpu, but gone arcade; now you have limited ammo(discourages random firing and then just ducking to reload), and can toggle between a handgun, machine gun, shotgun, and grenade launcher during a game; you shoot special people to gain ammo to any of those guns. i could imagine that the next best arcade shooter would be one which combines the principles of time crisis 3 with police 911-2; you now can hide by your movement, and need to reload manually with your hand(or something like that), as well as having limited ammo and a variety of guns to go by... that would be sweet...
and finally, today was the 1st day i actually cooked a meal(and i mean that i actually got out a pot and made a soup, instead of pouring cannned chili into a bowl, sticking it in a microwave and nuking it)... i think i made a good won-ton soup(i'll of course give credit to morris' mom for making the won tons; i only had to put them in the pot, then add vegetables and salt later... it was fine, but i think i either added too much water or too little salt; probably the 2nd, but i can't tell; i tried adding about the same amount of salt my mom does, but it didn't make the soup that well, otherwise, i think it was good; not bad for a 1st try; i'll imagine i get better at this as i go along...
i think in my spare time i'll devote myself to thinking more about worship as well as songwriting; last year i spent WAY too much time just playing cpu games, and that ruined the potential there; this year, it's gonna be different; hopefully, no capcom gaming, and very minimal, controlled csing(which admittedly is gonna be tough, since 1.6 came out, but i'll find strength in God)... also, this summer i didn't get to talk to the youth about worship, because i felt i wasn't ready; by giving myself time to really think about God and guitars, instead of ak47s and awps, i should be able to get some really good thoughts down...
oh yeah, i want to ball a lot more in davis now; seriously, it seems that the more i age, the more i love bball; i regret how when mj was still at his best that i was concerned about other things; i liked the bulls at the time, but i had never really studied how mj played; he is still my all-time favorite baller, but now i wish i'd watched him play SERIOUSLY, instead of just sucking up and leaving it at that... it was only during senior year of high school when i had 5 classes that i had a lotta free time to play sega sports' nba 2k(also something i have to thank for getting me into bball; was the 1st truly realistic bball game i ever played), and to watch many nba on nbc games... that was when i truly developed the love for bball, and i feel it's ever growing... i can't wait for bball season to start again... which is good and bad(am i concentrating too much on earthly things? makes me wonder why i don't share the same passion about friday nights(well, sometimes i do), as well as sunday mornings...)
so... it begins... tomorrow morning... this is one reason i dislike school; the potential to become even stronger is there, but the potential to become even weaker is also there, because if there is adversity, and you face up to it and overcome it, you become stronger, but if the adversity is there, and you sucuumb to the pressure, you reveal just how weak you are... of course, i don't HATE it with a vengence, but i wish i were stronger...
thursday: 9/25
ran into one of the friends i met at msm... that was cool...
got lost again... (is this a trend of mine? to get lost on one of my 1st days back at UCD? happened last year...)
ooo... free jeremy camp show w/telocast on friday... this should be good, but i gotta find out where central park is in davis...
moved up a notch in cooking... instead of won tons, i tossed in frozen chicken tenders... hey, they were raw, so...
they were showing terminator 2, so i watched that... haha... usa was showing all these arnold movies during the whole week and calling it "arnold: man of action..." but i dunno if that's gonna make him a good candidate for governor, but like i always say, you can never tell how he's gonna do until you elect him... at least for you naysayers, the good thing is he can never be a us president; the us president candidate has to be natural-borne in the us... T-2 still was fun to rewatch again... it's funny how after john connor makes the terminator promise not to kill any humans, that any humans he shoots afterward are in the kneecap... and rewatching it again i realized near the end he used the grenade launcher a LOT more... when he knocked the T-1000 into the molten pool he wasn't using a sniper rifle; THAT was the grenade launcher which the T-1000 grabbed out of his hands and flung away; when i was young and watched that part i thought it was an assault rifle... also that chain of ammo around the terminator near the end wasn't bullets... those were grenades for the grenade launcher...
friday: 9/26
still w/o internet...
i also got up so friggin late, cause bio discussion doesn't happen this week, so i have only one class, at 4:10-5:00. not to mention i stayed up late trying to read 3 more chapters of isaiah.
today was overall a great day though... probably so far my best day in UCD; i had only one class in the late afternoon, giving me time to do whatever... but that's not the reason why i had so much fun...
me and jon went to a FREE show with the liani moore band, telocast, but most importantly... JEREMY CAMP! (boy, NOW am i glad i stayed in davis this weekend as opposed to going home and seeing switchfoot, and btw if i had gotten internet earlier in davis,(or at least figured out that i could've gone to the computer room at ucd to access my email) i would've told all the youth and some of the young adults in the hopes that they'd come up, it was a great show) makes me wonder if jeremy camp loves davis; he was gonna play in an area close to davis last year as a guest artist to bebo norman...
here's my thoughts after that concert:
the liani moore band was the band me and jon saw at College Life fellowship; seeing the drummer do her stuff was again nice to rewatch. www.lianimooreband.com if you wanna know more about them.
telocast was a recently new christian band entering the music scene; only one song of theirs was recently started to be played on air1, however they're great on-stage; jon decided since they're new(and he liked the 2nd song they played on their set) to get their CD at their booth after the show; he also got it signed by all 4 band members; they had one goof-off, where the lead singer/acoustic guitarist started off their title song in too low a key, then he stopped before the band started, apologized and said, "if the band came in after that, then it'd be a whole shipwreck," and that got me and jon and the others around us laughing...
jeremy camp... dude, what can i say... if you liked him on his CD, you will LOVE him onstage... i didn't even come into the show really liking him(liked him, but not like he was my favorite artist), but after the show... i was sold... he is such a funny personality(mustve cracked jokes throughout the concert), yet he was sincere enough to share his testimony, which was a touching story of how he married a chemo patient who was deeply concentrated upon christ, and even though she died, he realized how God was calling him to deeper things. as for his music onstage... it was LOUD(having the drums, bass, and lead guitar louder than the vocals is what good concert music is about; sure, you can't tell what he's saying as well compared to the CD, but who goes to concerts to be philosophical and reflective? loud music draws you into it), ENERGETIC, HARD, and GOOD... it was electric onstage... btw, my favorite highlight was during the song "stay," ryan, the electric guitarist, took his guitar, and swung it a 360 around his shoulder by the strap, then catching it, before launching into a lead guitar solo not found on the CD version of the song... got a buncha oohs and aahs from the crowd... i wanna do that, but i need a strap that won't fly off first :D also, hearing him using the delay pedal makes me reconsider getting it again... also, another funny incident was when jeremy wanted to get the whole audience to act goofy and start dancing during a song, and then he started saying in a menacing voice "this is a FUN concert! we WILL have fun!" which was hilarious... i decided to buy his CD after the show and 2 guitar picks with his name on it :D then i got his CD signed by him, and we even had some small chat afterward... i appreciate how he tries to really to get to know everyone he meets... the signing line was so long! made longer by the fact that he tried to have small chat with everyone he signed something of, as opposed to some artists who just sign and shake hands. too bad i didn't have a digital camera, and jon didn't bring his, or i would've taken pictures of the concert me and jon went to... it definitely made me glad i stayed in davis this weekend... at first a few weeks ago i would've been bummed to not see switchfoot, but i don't even like them that much... this concert blew that notion out the window... amazing how God shows us better things along our journey even when we think it's not for the better... jon agreed with me too; jeremy camp is GOOD onstage... he's probably also gonna buy his music, except that because he was short on cash, he settled for telocast, since they're smaller, probably you can find jeremy camp a lot more places.
btw, i got a few words of wisdom from God about the subject of worship, which i wrote down this morning; a lot of the stuff i wrote down looks like something that could easily be applicable to the postponed worship lesson i had planned for the youth...
oh yeah, finally, before i close for tonight, i had a pretty dumb azn bus driver today; she couldn't get the bus started, then called out to the azn driver next to her, saying,
"i can't get my bus to start! i hold down the ignition!"
"did you remember to put the bus in neutral?"
*dumb bus driver puts bus in neutral, then tries again; bus starts immediately*
*helpful bus driver gives a big grin and gives a thumbs up*
*all the girls around me start to snicker*
i then quip, "no comment" to the girl next to me, and she responds with "i know"
(oh yeah, i don't think she knows the route either; some girl asked,
"can you drop me at lake and covell?"
"here?" hahahaha...)
saturday: 9/27
it never really dawns on me just how much humans are like God, in the relation that they love to create. even if you aren't creative, there's something found in the joy of being able to say "i made something out of nothing;" i guess then i like being creative myself(i wonder if it has something with being left-handed, and thus, being right-brained, since the right brain is the more creative side of our brains). when i was young i LOVED to doodle(and while i never break out a pen and paper anymore, sometimes i undergo artistic ventures; my buddy icon was made by me completely by scratch in my spare time), when i'm older i now love playing the guitar and creating my own songs; also since i was always into fighting games, i love the prospect of being able to create a combo which wasn't written down before(and recording it, if it can be played on my emulator), as well as writing FAQs about them. and now, i'm starting to like cooking; mind you, i still can't create my own recipes, but with what i've done so far at davis, i like(it's still more complex than anything else my roommates have done so far). i started adding more stuff into the chicken tender soup i commonly have made up at davis. it seems though that potatoes give out SOOO much water... usually i only ended up with 1/2 a pot of soup, but by the time i finished, i almost had a full pot... i also added black pepper and fresh garlic to it, which actually was a good move. i had questioned the adding of garlic right after i was done cooking, but it apparently got cooked in whatever heat was left in the pot, so it wasn't necessary to cook it longer. and i still have some left over to eat on sunday!
i can't even begin then, in such a manner to realize the joy God must've had in creating humans; at the time, it was his highest skilled work; an organism who could think on its own. after he created it, he simply said "well done" but he was probably estatic with joy. and the more i reflect upon it, i wonder what gave God greater joy; the creation of humans, or the redemption of them right after Jesus died. i mean, the redemption suddenly gave the entire world hope once again, but for God, it was bittersweet, having to watch Jesus die upon the cross, writhing in pain.
i met up with some family in davis; i dunno too much about them admittedly, only that sam did babysit them, and that the older sister, amy, is a freshman here in davis. interesting; i should ask my mom again how the mother knows me(my memory is not jogging)
i wrote some more about the worship lesson i was planning; strangely, i stayed up til 2:00 writing cause things were popping into my head as i was going along...
i'm starting to wonder if my height scale at home is incorrect... am i already 6'0? maybe i should just make one and see how tall i am...
because the bus schedule stopped at 5:00 today, and because i stopped by the arcade to waste a few quarters to play time crisis 3, i had to walk home... took me a LONG time, because i had pretty much all my books in my backpack, and since my backpack gets jammed easily now, i didn't want to rush it... i wasted a lot of time, but i wonder if it'll come back to give me something beneficial for hiking such a long distance... maybe this is why my legs are so strong in enduring fatigue?
monday: 9/29
i just realized that the uc bookstore DOES sell UCD cutoffs and gym shorts; i'm planning on buying the gym shorts, and then MAYBE the cutoffs; i realized looking at both of them that with their array of navy blue, gold yellow, and white colors, that if i wore it and a yellow headband and yellow armband that i'd be jermaine o'neal :D
because of some org chem lab screwup, i have to stay longer @the university tomorrow to make up a lab, which i came on time, but the TA wasn't there, so we all left... *mumbles under breath*
btw, i realized a while ago, that since spiders don't actually eat their prey, but instead suck in their nutrients, i guess they don't crap then, eh? so when i saw a spider lately lay out a web string to climb down a ceiling, then pulled it back inside it to climb back up, i suddenly came to a stunning conclusion i never really grasped before: the webbing coming into/out of a spider is actually its crap! seriously, think about it; what else does a spider secrete out of its body besides its digestive juices? amazing how God creates creatures. i think sometimes we honestly look at the weird creatures around us and go "God... WHYY?" and God'll probably go, "cause i thought it'd be cool; i want that creature to frolic" i still dislike spiders; don't want to touch them, the bigger and hairier they are, the more i dislike them, and dislike running into their webs, but y'kno, after thinking about their ingenuity more and more, you come to realize just how special they are in God's eyes, and respect them; it does not fear the insect, even though it is blind(it has 8 eyes, but it has VERY limited vision); it doesn't need to crap, and it can do something useful with its crap (imagine the elimination of all toilets if we crapped out string strong enough to hold us from a celing from our asses, and could pull it back in if we wanted)... i think though very few girls'll think of that when they see a spider... only freak out then either try to run away or call some guy to come in and kill it :D
time crisis 3 seems more difficult than the previous time crisis; i like that; they put less emphasis upon completing the game by time, but make the enemies harder to kill and tougher; sure, it's frustrating at times, but i think it makes the game a lot more challenging, and thus more fun. it also seems that you can't just let go of the pedal at the last moment and duck any projectile; you need to duck a certain period before the projectile hits you. also, i just LOVE hosing ppl down with the machine gun! of course, the key to this game is knowing when to stick to the handgun(which still has unlimited ammo as long as you duck to reload), when to use the 2 firearms(both of which have their weaknesses and strengths; the machine gun has a ton of ammo and rapid-fires, the shotgun does a ton of damage and spreads a lot), and when to use the grenade launcher as a last resort(the number of grenades you carry with it are VERY few, like 2 usually and then if you get lucky, 5), i think the key is this; stick with the handgun if you can, but if you can't, or run into harder opponents, ones which require more than 6 shots to kill, or ones carrying better weaponry, switch to the machine gun, or the shotgun if they're spread out more. against many heavy artillery at once, use the grenade launcher.
wednesday: 10/1
life's starting to settle into monotonousness... i wonder if i'll be able to rekindle the christian joy i think about so much... i admittedly have NOT really been spending time with God lately...
today i saw that the uc davis mu arcade place was actually holding a buncha capcom fighting game tourneys; no, i didn't join, cause i actually went to the area around early evening, and by then, the brackets were pretty much set...
btw, it's occurred to me that i'm still wearing my summer attire so far, even though fall's pretty much starting... gym shorts, and t-shirt... sometimes no t-shirt at all, when i'm in the apartment... and i still go barefoot in the apartment... davis can seem so hot sometimes... i love it like that though; at certain times, it's painful to endure; ever try running to catch a bus with a loaded backpack and a couple of things in your arms while sweat's dripping down into the armpits of your t-shirt? (whoops, too much info)... it's worth it though; i love wear gym shorts and t-shirt/no tee as opposed to t-shirt and jeans... and it gives a real appreciation for water, as you thirst for it pretty often... which only makes psalm 63:1-8 even more deep in meaning once you get this thirst
rite aid's ice cream(which is really thrifty's), is extremely cheap this week; $1.99/half gallon; i bought their espresso & biscotti flavor... it's GOOD... no wonder why thrifty's ice cream is award winning! their coffee ice cream is just FuLL of coffee flavor, and the addition of chocolate biscotti really gives it a very nice crunch to it... i encourage you the reader to go out and get it sometime this week; only sells at that price this week. IMO it's better than the commonplace mocha almond fudge flavor...
btw, after contemplating in bio how harmful hydrogenated vegetable oil is, and yet how it's pretty much adding some hydrogen into the vegetable oil, which somehow manages to change its shape, it's really dawned upon me how strange God's created this world... it seems the more we study it, the more weird it gets... have you ever considered how just adding hydrogen to your healthy vegetable oil suddenly makes it 2x worse than saturated fat? it's weird to think about...
i saw some guys/girls in the back of the bus i took to class today being extremely raucous and pulling the signal-thing repeatedly on the way... and it pissed me off, cause of the immaturish way they were acting... they were acting like kids... and then the bus stopped them in from of the elementary school on the way to ucd, and a whole bunch of them got out! they WERE kids! and then i sorta went, "err... ok, maybe i was a bit too judgmental" besides, i had to admit, i was a bit harsh... if you aren't to act rediculous at least one period in your life, you'll probably have no life...
getting better @time crisis 3... i see the ppl who play the game the most will switch their weapons the most... also, they will fire their handgun rounds faster; i noticed one of them uses his middle finger to fire the gun(it's easier to shoot faster), so maybe i'll try that sometime...
i wonder when the pg&e bill comes... so far i haven't gotten it...
"and i've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down/ in ways i never knew before i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ i've been burnt out, broken, torn out, torn down/ in ways i never knew i would/ but i can feel your fullness in my life/ one day at a time"
jeremy camp
(i wished i could make this my words as well; it is really something to be able to feel the pain, but feel even greater joy)
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
so i will be frank in saying this summer wasn't all that i had hoped it to be... i only finished making 2 .mp3's outta 3 songs i wanted to create this year, and one of them was only really a remix(sadly, i had gotten caught up in being lazy, and just playing my capcom emulators to death)... i still haven't finished making an .mp3 for the 2k1 senior song i did during that graduation... and school is approaching and i still haven't felt that i have accomplished all that i wanted to... such is life... you plan, and overshoot... of course, it's not that i can't songwrite while in an apartment in davis, but it's harder... i like doing this hobby of mine in complete silence... i still haven't finished isaiah yet either...
on the other side, this is what i mainly got outta this summer: before you do anything for God, you need to make sure that the urging IS coming from God, because if you aren't sure, you're probably NOT doing it for God... Christianity is living out of the center of God, and checking back on him for guidance at every step of the way... become impulsive servers, and perhaps you have lost being connected to that center...
going through the spiritual disciplines has imparted this to me: grace is free, but you must work for it... or maybe i phrased that wrong, but the idea is that God graciously gives you this freedom from sin, and you spend the rest of your lives trying to mold yourself closer to the image of God... i've also come to realize that the whole point of the disciplines is to do this, of course works alone don't give you salvation; the robber next to Jesus went into heaven just due to a proper change of heart at the right time. so why do them? JOY... that's why... often we get caught up in the drudgery of Christian practices, but the thing to remember is that God wants to give us JOY, and it is found in keeping the way of God and drawing closer to him... nothing else does it, and nothing else will satisfy... what you get is an inner peace that transcends ALL understanding... sometimes i scold myself all the time for not making the practices a daily part of my lives(i don't pray and meditate as much as i would like, and certainly don't fast that frequently), but i forget that the whole point of the disciplines is JOY, and if i am getting overwhelmed, i should just learn to relax and really relish the disciplines... God doesn't expect us to meditate 24/7 or pray for that long either... he DOES hear us... remember, do these things because you love God, and then he'll give you an unrelinquishable sense of joy...
i've also come to realize that my CTCC college friends are MUCH more deeper than i've taken them to be... i've seen tim and norman both get interested in Christianity, and sam is coming back too, all of which touches me... i wish all these, and all the others best of luck during college...
Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory -Psalm 115:1
(this is also one of Chris Tomlin's worship songs)
i wanna faith like that... to see the dead rise, or to see you pass by, oh i, i wanna faith like that whatever the cost... i'll suffer the loss, oh i, i wanna faith like that -Jonah33
so long you guys... it's nice knowing you... we'll get together again someday though... til then, God bless...
on the other side, this is what i mainly got outta this summer: before you do anything for God, you need to make sure that the urging IS coming from God, because if you aren't sure, you're probably NOT doing it for God... Christianity is living out of the center of God, and checking back on him for guidance at every step of the way... become impulsive servers, and perhaps you have lost being connected to that center...
going through the spiritual disciplines has imparted this to me: grace is free, but you must work for it... or maybe i phrased that wrong, but the idea is that God graciously gives you this freedom from sin, and you spend the rest of your lives trying to mold yourself closer to the image of God... i've also come to realize that the whole point of the disciplines is to do this, of course works alone don't give you salvation; the robber next to Jesus went into heaven just due to a proper change of heart at the right time. so why do them? JOY... that's why... often we get caught up in the drudgery of Christian practices, but the thing to remember is that God wants to give us JOY, and it is found in keeping the way of God and drawing closer to him... nothing else does it, and nothing else will satisfy... what you get is an inner peace that transcends ALL understanding... sometimes i scold myself all the time for not making the practices a daily part of my lives(i don't pray and meditate as much as i would like, and certainly don't fast that frequently), but i forget that the whole point of the disciplines is JOY, and if i am getting overwhelmed, i should just learn to relax and really relish the disciplines... God doesn't expect us to meditate 24/7 or pray for that long either... he DOES hear us... remember, do these things because you love God, and then he'll give you an unrelinquishable sense of joy...
i've also come to realize that my CTCC college friends are MUCH more deeper than i've taken them to be... i've seen tim and norman both get interested in Christianity, and sam is coming back too, all of which touches me... i wish all these, and all the others best of luck during college...
Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory -Psalm 115:1
(this is also one of Chris Tomlin's worship songs)
i wanna faith like that... to see the dead rise, or to see you pass by, oh i, i wanna faith like that whatever the cost... i'll suffer the loss, oh i, i wanna faith like that -Jonah33
so long you guys... it's nice knowing you... we'll get together again someday though... til then, God bless...
Monday, September 22, 2003
apparently the wireless card i picked up works... i'm getting high speed internet at home even though we're not paying for it... kinda a hard concept for me to get used to right now :D it's a weak signal, but a signal nevertheless... i'm not gonna push my luck dling cs 1.6 though, i have a feeling they'll find out :D
i guess i'm the last one to head up back to school; jon's heading up today...
recap of my summer to come later tonight...
btw, it seems lately God has a sense of sadistic humor... it feels like summer(don't any of you bay area ppl feel that lately it feels like hell around here?), even though fall's approaching, and i did say i didn't want summer to end... haha... nt God, but i wanted my SUMMER BREAK to not end... i get the idea though...
i guess i'm the last one to head up back to school; jon's heading up today...
recap of my summer to come later tonight...
btw, it seems lately God has a sense of sadistic humor... it feels like summer(don't any of you bay area ppl feel that lately it feels like hell around here?), even though fall's approaching, and i did say i didn't want summer to end... haha... nt God, but i wanted my SUMMER BREAK to not end... i get the idea though...
Sunday, September 21, 2003
saying's one thing... doing's another... let's see if what i've picked up during the summer will end up being a practice of mine...
lord i give you my heart, i give you my soul, i (want to) live for you alone...
jeff deyo, former leader of sonicflood, wrote and remixed that song...
so sad to watch all the college friends go, 1 person/day... but it is true... it's like a photo of the last supper with all the disciples slowly fading away into nothingness until only jesus is left... except jerm isn't really jesus, but you get the idea...
ok, i'll talk later, since i wanna finish up this songwriting stuff...
lord i give you my heart, i give you my soul, i (want to) live for you alone...
jeff deyo, former leader of sonicflood, wrote and remixed that song...
so sad to watch all the college friends go, 1 person/day... but it is true... it's like a photo of the last supper with all the disciples slowly fading away into nothingness until only jesus is left... except jerm isn't really jesus, but you get the idea...
ok, i'll talk later, since i wanna finish up this songwriting stuff...
*sigh*... time just ticks faster than you'd wish it did... and to top it all off, it seems that as my time for going back up approaches, the more things i realize i'll have to buy... *sigh*...
um, i think i'll just forget making and finishing a totally new song(2 days is VERY little time to do such a thing), and instead finish the 2 senior songs i did(promised sam i'd send him both), as well as see how far i could finish that worship song i created a while back... next quarter i'll work on this song i was thinking about... i think i'll make the main subject "not getting it" or something like that, cause often i think ppl just don't get it... it's what i got from my summer mostly, and what i wanna convey to remember that...
ucla's college football's defense sucks... wish it didn't, but eh... oklahoma scored on a punt return, that pretty much shows how much it lacks...
btw, i saw this brand name for a pot @macy's while shopping for a 3 qt saucepan, and it was called "fagor..." heh heh...
oh yeah, the new afleck commercial where a bald guy is hypnotized then commanded to become a duck cracks me up...
am gonna finish "celebration of discipline" today... i wish i'd really make their principles a huge part of my life... if you were to look at all the disciplines as one big segmented wheel, mine would be lopsided, very sporadically changing it shape here and there... do i practice some of the disciplines? yes, but it's hard...
um, i think i'll just forget making and finishing a totally new song(2 days is VERY little time to do such a thing), and instead finish the 2 senior songs i did(promised sam i'd send him both), as well as see how far i could finish that worship song i created a while back... next quarter i'll work on this song i was thinking about... i think i'll make the main subject "not getting it" or something like that, cause often i think ppl just don't get it... it's what i got from my summer mostly, and what i wanna convey to remember that...
ucla's college football's defense sucks... wish it didn't, but eh... oklahoma scored on a punt return, that pretty much shows how much it lacks...
btw, i saw this brand name for a pot @macy's while shopping for a 3 qt saucepan, and it was called "fagor..." heh heh...
oh yeah, the new afleck commercial where a bald guy is hypnotized then commanded to become a duck cracks me up...
am gonna finish "celebration of discipline" today... i wish i'd really make their principles a huge part of my life... if you were to look at all the disciplines as one big segmented wheel, mine would be lopsided, very sporadically changing it shape here and there... do i practice some of the disciplines? yes, but it's hard...
Thursday, September 18, 2003
i think after today, i think i may respect spiders more due to the way God designed them, although i still despise them for their hideous looks...
when i walked outside my house today, i heard a loud buzzing noise coming from above me from the large tree in front of my house. thinking it was a bee, i looked up, and saw what looked like an incredible sight; a spider was wrapping a trapped bee in its own webbing, spinning it horizontally as it worked, its 8 legs rapidly spinning it... the bee was obviously trying to call for help, but no bee came, and afterward you can guess what happened; the buzzing died down and the bee died. then i saw the spider actually unweb its large web that it had set up and began to carry the now-dead bee away... when i came back from a 10 min drive and looked at the exact spot again, the entire web, the spider and the bee were gone... amazing...
why is this so amazing? well, i could reflect this with a christian perspective or simply marvel at what God has created; i'll do the 2nd 1st. often we just think of spiders as hideous creatures who just lounge near their web, waiting for prey to come along or running out of unexpected areas in houses to freak out light-hearted girls(or jeremy :D). but for me to actually see this creature at work on its prey and how ingeniously it bagged the bee, killed it(it was almost funny how it spun the bee around, disregarding its buzzing or fearing its stinger), then carried it away along with all its webbing(compare this to a game hunter who pitches his tent on the outskirts of a forest, then goes in, shoots a deer, wraps it in a trash bag then unpacks his tent and moves everything out), was just incredible... you might even characterize that spider as being fearless; in some cases that came to my mind, because you could see that the spider did NOT fear the bee's stinger OR the other bees that mightve come, which brings me to christian reflections from this; you can either see the spider as a strong christian, and the bee as satan, or you could see the bee as a christian, and the spider as satan; the 1st is that God is so friggin strong, he enables you to fearlessly put away the devil, unafraid that the devil can summon as many of his minions at you as he wants(in the spider-bee case, all the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing too); the 2nd is that even if Satan is able to gangbang upon you, you are able to call upon God, and he will call his angels to come help you out(in this case, let's ignore the fact that the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing)
i don't get how ballers can wear wristbands up at their elbow area; i tried doing it, and i felt like i was cutting off my circulation; then again, if i just stretch out the elastic band, in a few games here and there it'll probably feel pretty comfortable to wear.
casting crowns' song, "if we are the body," intrigues me; well, the lyrics do; they go, "if we are the body, why aren't his arms reaching? why aren't his hands healing? why aren't his words teaching? ... why aren't his feet going?" this is basically a new way to say an old teaching; you come to think about it, the body of Christ is at times one really pathetic body; arms cramping up, feet collapsing, etc... we're supposed to be reaching out, doing what God wants us to do, and yet we don't; it's like an arm which is perfectly healthy but flops all over the place when you want it to do something, like pick up a pencil...
the other new song i heard which really intrigues me is jonah33- faith like that:
I have read about the days of old
About the men who followed You
And how they saw the supernatural
And became the chosen few
So I come before You now
Tearing off my earthly crowns
For this one thing I have found
CHORUS:
I want a faith like that
To see the deed rise or to see You pass by, oh I
I want a faith like that whatever the cost
I'll suffer the loss, oh, I
I want a faith like that
I'm not looking for a miracle
Signs and wonders or thing s thereof
I caught a glimpse of what You want for me
And what I have is not enough
I read the story one more time
Of those who gave to You their lives
With mo fear or compromise
CHORUS
I want a faith that can move any mountain
And send them to the seas
I want a faith that can break every stronghold
That keeps You, that keeps from me
when i walked outside my house today, i heard a loud buzzing noise coming from above me from the large tree in front of my house. thinking it was a bee, i looked up, and saw what looked like an incredible sight; a spider was wrapping a trapped bee in its own webbing, spinning it horizontally as it worked, its 8 legs rapidly spinning it... the bee was obviously trying to call for help, but no bee came, and afterward you can guess what happened; the buzzing died down and the bee died. then i saw the spider actually unweb its large web that it had set up and began to carry the now-dead bee away... when i came back from a 10 min drive and looked at the exact spot again, the entire web, the spider and the bee were gone... amazing...
why is this so amazing? well, i could reflect this with a christian perspective or simply marvel at what God has created; i'll do the 2nd 1st. often we just think of spiders as hideous creatures who just lounge near their web, waiting for prey to come along or running out of unexpected areas in houses to freak out light-hearted girls(or jeremy :D). but for me to actually see this creature at work on its prey and how ingeniously it bagged the bee, killed it(it was almost funny how it spun the bee around, disregarding its buzzing or fearing its stinger), then carried it away along with all its webbing(compare this to a game hunter who pitches his tent on the outskirts of a forest, then goes in, shoots a deer, wraps it in a trash bag then unpacks his tent and moves everything out), was just incredible... you might even characterize that spider as being fearless; in some cases that came to my mind, because you could see that the spider did NOT fear the bee's stinger OR the other bees that mightve come, which brings me to christian reflections from this; you can either see the spider as a strong christian, and the bee as satan, or you could see the bee as a christian, and the spider as satan; the 1st is that God is so friggin strong, he enables you to fearlessly put away the devil, unafraid that the devil can summon as many of his minions at you as he wants(in the spider-bee case, all the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing too); the 2nd is that even if Satan is able to gangbang upon you, you are able to call upon God, and he will call his angels to come help you out(in this case, let's ignore the fact that the summoned bees would probably just get caught in the webbing)
i don't get how ballers can wear wristbands up at their elbow area; i tried doing it, and i felt like i was cutting off my circulation; then again, if i just stretch out the elastic band, in a few games here and there it'll probably feel pretty comfortable to wear.
casting crowns' song, "if we are the body," intrigues me; well, the lyrics do; they go, "if we are the body, why aren't his arms reaching? why aren't his hands healing? why aren't his words teaching? ... why aren't his feet going?" this is basically a new way to say an old teaching; you come to think about it, the body of Christ is at times one really pathetic body; arms cramping up, feet collapsing, etc... we're supposed to be reaching out, doing what God wants us to do, and yet we don't; it's like an arm which is perfectly healthy but flops all over the place when you want it to do something, like pick up a pencil...
the other new song i heard which really intrigues me is jonah33- faith like that:
I have read about the days of old
About the men who followed You
And how they saw the supernatural
And became the chosen few
So I come before You now
Tearing off my earthly crowns
For this one thing I have found
CHORUS:
I want a faith like that
To see the deed rise or to see You pass by, oh I
I want a faith like that whatever the cost
I'll suffer the loss, oh, I
I want a faith like that
I'm not looking for a miracle
Signs and wonders or thing s thereof
I caught a glimpse of what You want for me
And what I have is not enough
I read the story one more time
Of those who gave to You their lives
With mo fear or compromise
CHORUS
I want a faith that can move any mountain
And send them to the seas
I want a faith that can break every stronghold
That keeps You, that keeps from me
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
aw shoot, now i can't remember if i shut off my guitar equipment or left if on at home *cringes at the electricity bill and wonders i should leave my mom, go home, turn it off, then come back to the library*
jerm is impossible to bang in against; i might as well have better success trying to move a brick wall by backing against it... at least i can still shoot over him... (reminds self not to try jumping onto him to try to block his hook; go around, dork)
it's fun songwriting... i think i almost forgot about its joys, it's one of the ways i find myself centered upon God, and i haven't been doing it too much lately, not enough... there's a bit of frustration in the process as always, but i think the end result is worth it; my drum loops sound a bit better now, and i'll prob be done with that tonight... with any luck, i'll have finally finished my 1st song for the summer tonight... no more "drummer on meth", as phil referred to it when he 1st heard my rough :D
i think i forgot the joys of waking up REALLY early... i should do it more often(did it today to drive mom to work, since the camry's being serviced); sure it feels chilly in the morning, but it's the whole notion of getting the most outta your day, then falling asleep right when nighttime falls... enjoy the light, cause God created it, ykno? whereas most of my friends would rather stay up late and wake up late... and they don't even thank God for the stars in the night and stuff... at least to my knowing...
jerm is impossible to bang in against; i might as well have better success trying to move a brick wall by backing against it... at least i can still shoot over him... (reminds self not to try jumping onto him to try to block his hook; go around, dork)
it's fun songwriting... i think i almost forgot about its joys, it's one of the ways i find myself centered upon God, and i haven't been doing it too much lately, not enough... there's a bit of frustration in the process as always, but i think the end result is worth it; my drum loops sound a bit better now, and i'll prob be done with that tonight... with any luck, i'll have finally finished my 1st song for the summer tonight... no more "drummer on meth", as phil referred to it when he 1st heard my rough :D
i think i forgot the joys of waking up REALLY early... i should do it more often(did it today to drive mom to work, since the camry's being serviced); sure it feels chilly in the morning, but it's the whole notion of getting the most outta your day, then falling asleep right when nighttime falls... enjoy the light, cause God created it, ykno? whereas most of my friends would rather stay up late and wake up late... and they don't even thank God for the stars in the night and stuff... at least to my knowing...
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
here's something interesting; if i wear a green headband and put a green wristband,
on my right hand, above my elbow: i'm wearing it like walter mcarthy
on my left hand, below my elbow: i'm wearing it like paul pierce
(or i could just be a dorky asian who thinks he's one of the two when he can't even elevate high enough to posterize on others, let alone consistently land jumpers right off the dribble, or even slash consistently to the basket without getting the ball picked away)
it's kinda interesting: sometimes i can't play first-person shooters at all(it makes me wonder how the heck i was able to play cs at all in davis); i tried playing half-life yesterday, and got so friggin dizzy i started getting headaches and thinking i was gonna throw up if i didn't stop... i wonder if it's a sign from God(it probably is), cause i really want to finish up songwriting with a bang, instead of having to put things off again til the next break(whoever knows when that is)... *sigh*... i wish God would give me short-lived dizziness and nausea everytime i was gonna do something displeasing to him... it would make my christian life so much easier... then again, concerning human nature... i would never be able to get outta bed if that occurred, cause i would just be so sick i could hardly get up... good try rich, but no cigar...
ever think about how closed-minded or weird the music consumer can be sometimes? some of them get turned off simply because they hear the word "jesus" in a song(makes me marvel at how mercy me's "i can only imagine" even made it onto the secular charts, by luck of a tolerant radio station accepting a caller's request)... or how people don't think that a band can be christian until they read about it(i personally had no idea that lifehouse was even a christian band until bob told me about it, and no idea creed was NOT one until bob also sent an email)... yet ppl will dive into 50 cent or something else without really contemplating the lyrics...
on my right hand, above my elbow: i'm wearing it like walter mcarthy
on my left hand, below my elbow: i'm wearing it like paul pierce
(or i could just be a dorky asian who thinks he's one of the two when he can't even elevate high enough to posterize on others, let alone consistently land jumpers right off the dribble, or even slash consistently to the basket without getting the ball picked away)
it's kinda interesting: sometimes i can't play first-person shooters at all(it makes me wonder how the heck i was able to play cs at all in davis); i tried playing half-life yesterday, and got so friggin dizzy i started getting headaches and thinking i was gonna throw up if i didn't stop... i wonder if it's a sign from God(it probably is), cause i really want to finish up songwriting with a bang, instead of having to put things off again til the next break(whoever knows when that is)... *sigh*... i wish God would give me short-lived dizziness and nausea everytime i was gonna do something displeasing to him... it would make my christian life so much easier... then again, concerning human nature... i would never be able to get outta bed if that occurred, cause i would just be so sick i could hardly get up... good try rich, but no cigar...
ever think about how closed-minded or weird the music consumer can be sometimes? some of them get turned off simply because they hear the word "jesus" in a song(makes me marvel at how mercy me's "i can only imagine" even made it onto the secular charts, by luck of a tolerant radio station accepting a caller's request)... or how people don't think that a band can be christian until they read about it(i personally had no idea that lifehouse was even a christian band until bob told me about it, and no idea creed was NOT one until bob also sent an email)... yet ppl will dive into 50 cent or something else without really contemplating the lyrics...
Monday, September 15, 2003
conan had his 10th anniversary yesterday... MAN! i had no idea jennifer garner was dumb as a rock!
garner to conan: you should know better, snuck is not a real word, and you went to harvard...
(conan then proceeds to flip open a dictionary to the word snuck, reads the dictionary definition, then laughs evilly at garner)
i wanna play "stackenblacken"! that sounds fun! or meet up w/scoop dogg! if you didn't watch conan yesterday i don't think you'd get it :D
i'm planning on getting a green wristband using my monstrous load of spare change i have floating around at home, since spare change is mostly a burden to carry around in order to buy anything...(and it was only like 1.50 at big5 today) although my left or right limbs don't really give off a lotta sweat when i ball, i think it'd be a good complement to my green headband... i wonder how many people would think "paul pierce" if i went w/green headband, green wristband, white cutoff, gym shorts and baller shoes... on halloween... in UCD... i have no white gym shorts though, and my baller shoes are I-3...
doesn't it ever dawn upon you just how much ppl "don't get it?" if you're a closed-minded nonbeliever, you don't get it... if you're a believer, but your priorities are mixed up or occasionally shift in the wrong direction, you also don't get it. guy-girl relationships aren't evil, but i am really beginning to see how your college years are really the best time to cultivate the christian you should become so that when you emerge from college you will be STRONG, and if you set anything before it, or even try to juggle it with something else you want to grow(maybe that girl likes me, lemme try to get her to be my lover, etc), you could run into problems. i wrote this huge blot on my cell phone notepad, where i basically thought about why mike said absk in ucla is so small... no one wants to take responsibility... everyone thinks that life is too precious to put everything on the same line of christianity... again, let's emphasize this: they just don't get it... does it mean that absk is all good and all the other christian fellowships are bad? of course not! i don't go to absk in davis either... but if you're going to the christian fellowship which has the greatest following and isn't geared towards seriously improving your walk, i would question what's your motive for being there in the 1st place... with that many people in one fellowship it's tempting to go there just to find your future lover who, HEY, BY CHANCE, HAPPENS TO BE CHRISTIAN! i remember overhearing one of my classmates when i was still in high school, and he was a senior who was gonna graduate the same year i was; he was talking to another senior and saying this: "you wanna go to the christian fellowships on college, cause that's the place to meet new ppl", and i believe this guy was not a christian(hence, he was probably implying finding a date). that's not the way it works ppl... (i hope i keep these words in my mind when i go back so that i don't eat these exact words)
i am amazed at Isaiah's willingness to serve God... the beginning of his call to ministry was marked by a wonderful display of God's glory, followed by his immediate humility... when God asked who would be willing to go to preach to his ppl, instead of hiding in the shadows like many other prophets, Isaiah willingly volunteered. Isaiah 53 is also the passage which reads like an eyewitness POV of Jesus' death, and yet it was written centuries before Jesus... amazing, this prophesy... I wonder how the unbelieving Jews try to explain away this one...
one thing i've realized about my cell; since it has a built-in keyboard, and i am more likely to carry it around with me than my laptop, i've decided to put my prayer notes on it, since it'll be easier to look at it. and since i'm probably gonna look more frequently at it too.
garner to conan: you should know better, snuck is not a real word, and you went to harvard...
(conan then proceeds to flip open a dictionary to the word snuck, reads the dictionary definition, then laughs evilly at garner)
i wanna play "stackenblacken"! that sounds fun! or meet up w/scoop dogg! if you didn't watch conan yesterday i don't think you'd get it :D
i'm planning on getting a green wristband using my monstrous load of spare change i have floating around at home, since spare change is mostly a burden to carry around in order to buy anything...(and it was only like 1.50 at big5 today) although my left or right limbs don't really give off a lotta sweat when i ball, i think it'd be a good complement to my green headband... i wonder how many people would think "paul pierce" if i went w/green headband, green wristband, white cutoff, gym shorts and baller shoes... on halloween... in UCD... i have no white gym shorts though, and my baller shoes are I-3...
doesn't it ever dawn upon you just how much ppl "don't get it?" if you're a closed-minded nonbeliever, you don't get it... if you're a believer, but your priorities are mixed up or occasionally shift in the wrong direction, you also don't get it. guy-girl relationships aren't evil, but i am really beginning to see how your college years are really the best time to cultivate the christian you should become so that when you emerge from college you will be STRONG, and if you set anything before it, or even try to juggle it with something else you want to grow(maybe that girl likes me, lemme try to get her to be my lover, etc), you could run into problems. i wrote this huge blot on my cell phone notepad, where i basically thought about why mike said absk in ucla is so small... no one wants to take responsibility... everyone thinks that life is too precious to put everything on the same line of christianity... again, let's emphasize this: they just don't get it... does it mean that absk is all good and all the other christian fellowships are bad? of course not! i don't go to absk in davis either... but if you're going to the christian fellowship which has the greatest following and isn't geared towards seriously improving your walk, i would question what's your motive for being there in the 1st place... with that many people in one fellowship it's tempting to go there just to find your future lover who, HEY, BY CHANCE, HAPPENS TO BE CHRISTIAN! i remember overhearing one of my classmates when i was still in high school, and he was a senior who was gonna graduate the same year i was; he was talking to another senior and saying this: "you wanna go to the christian fellowships on college, cause that's the place to meet new ppl", and i believe this guy was not a christian(hence, he was probably implying finding a date). that's not the way it works ppl... (i hope i keep these words in my mind when i go back so that i don't eat these exact words)
i am amazed at Isaiah's willingness to serve God... the beginning of his call to ministry was marked by a wonderful display of God's glory, followed by his immediate humility... when God asked who would be willing to go to preach to his ppl, instead of hiding in the shadows like many other prophets, Isaiah willingly volunteered. Isaiah 53 is also the passage which reads like an eyewitness POV of Jesus' death, and yet it was written centuries before Jesus... amazing, this prophesy... I wonder how the unbelieving Jews try to explain away this one...
one thing i've realized about my cell; since it has a built-in keyboard, and i am more likely to carry it around with me than my laptop, i've decided to put my prayer notes on it, since it'll be easier to look at it. and since i'm probably gonna look more frequently at it too.
Sunday, September 14, 2003
man, everybody wants my cell phone... it must be that good... God apparently works in weird ways to give me things that i shouldn't have gotten. (btw everyone who's asking for the price, it's free after rebate) hey, admittedly, i don't come from a wealthy family, and yet i've been blessed with an electric guitar+ various accessories to go w/it(i'm counting 2 amps and 3-4 effects pedals), a laptop, and now, one of the better cell phones on the market... it makes me shameful though, cause i wonder how much i would be willing to give back to God... he's seriously given me so much... sometimes, i think of what i LACK... and then sometimes i think of what i have, and it's really overwhelming...
ok, here's the biggest thing i found out today that i am having trouble getting used to:
I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!
Michelle's expecting around May, and i'm so surprised(and happy) for her and my bro...
pretty young to be an uncle eh? everytime i think of the age gap between me and my bro i wonder how unique it must be to have a bro who is 8 years older than you... it's like having a church counselor as your brother! :D i might as well congratulate bob for getting married and getting his wife pregnant :D
and it's interesting as i'm pondering this... it is really something to be happy for others instead of yourself... sometimes, it's really tough to swallow, but other times, it overwhelms you with joy... this is one of those joyful times... in some ways it is sorta selfish though, cause i didn't feel the same joy when lucas was born, as the relationship between me and phil is obviously a lot closer than with luwen... nevertheless, i'm happy for you phil(and michelle)! lemme know what comes up next(if you're reading this)
ok, here's the biggest thing i found out today that i am having trouble getting used to:
I'M GONNA BE AN UNCLE!
Michelle's expecting around May, and i'm so surprised(and happy) for her and my bro...
pretty young to be an uncle eh? everytime i think of the age gap between me and my bro i wonder how unique it must be to have a bro who is 8 years older than you... it's like having a church counselor as your brother! :D i might as well congratulate bob for getting married and getting his wife pregnant :D
and it's interesting as i'm pondering this... it is really something to be happy for others instead of yourself... sometimes, it's really tough to swallow, but other times, it overwhelms you with joy... this is one of those joyful times... in some ways it is sorta selfish though, cause i didn't feel the same joy when lucas was born, as the relationship between me and phil is obviously a lot closer than with luwen... nevertheless, i'm happy for you phil(and michelle)! lemme know what comes up next(if you're reading this)
Friday, September 12, 2003
*sigh*... summer's about 2 weeks left...
i hate how bogged down with concerns my mind is sometimes... all our problems are the result of our own worries, which really sucks, but the more you realize it, the more it sinks in...
got a cell...
i've realized that more and more each of the gospels has its own appeal... i used to think mark was only for fast-paced people, but there's advantages of each book
i hate how bogged down with concerns my mind is sometimes... all our problems are the result of our own worries, which really sucks, but the more you realize it, the more it sinks in...
got a cell...
i've realized that more and more each of the gospels has its own appeal... i used to think mark was only for fast-paced people, but there's advantages of each book
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