the current xanga crisis makes me glad i'm a blogspot-er... for the moment... :D

Psalm 49: the psalm which shows how money and fame are nothing... eh... when i reread it, i'll decide whether to include that in the links above(there does seem to be a LOT of bible verse i'm linking)

Psalm 53 is like a deja vu of the Psalm 14... strange, eh?

i wonder why david exhibits such angry words for his enemies in the Psalms... i know the Psalms were truly written from the heart, but IMO it gives testamony to how david was not a perfect man... ppl of the Old Testament believed that justice would be served in the earthly realm, as they had no conception that life would continue in the afterlife. and yet, david exhibited such love for saul... goes to show how much more david wasn't perfect, eh?

i'll write later today... i have more to say, but can't think of anything right now...

1st time this summer i played bball with the young adults this sunday... (while i still wish i was 7 ft'd so i could be a better baller and could dunk, part of me is spiritually glad i'm not that tall... it forces me to be a team player, as opposed to doing everything myself, and thus crucifies my pride everytime i have to remember that; nevertheless, i still wish i were taller)
in any case, i think it's really how evident how much i should cherish my youth, or if that's not the issue, my quickness in feet, and using that to be a team player; i was all over the place setting screens for others(funny how john actually out loud thanked me for setting a screen for him while the ball was still in play :D) and try to block ppl repeatedly(a lotta times, failing, but i had my gems of moments)... trying to break free to get some uncontested buckets... i remember hitting 3 jumpers in a row, and another time, ALMOST hitting a reverse layup... too bad i had to do some idiotic travelling violation when i lost my mind some other time... *cringes*... i do have to admit it's fun having george and torrence on your team... torrence has some nice inside moves, and george can hit a lot of jumpers pretty well... but maybe we'll just attitribute torrence's dominence to "ERIC!" :D

perhaps it's really dawning on me just how much old testament writers didn't believe in an afterlife; you see this during the psalms; emphasis of the bad getting what they deserve, and the good getting what they deserve; modern-day christianity we know acknowledge that sometimes life in this world isn't what we want it to be, but the afterlife will be fair. btw, when i stumbled upon psalm 22, i notice just how much similarity it was compared to jesus and his suffering; v7-8 refers to how ppl mock him and tell him to save himself, v14 refers to jesus' side being pierced, producing a flow of perecardial fluid... and blood... as well as the crucifixation dislocating his shoulder joints... v15 alludes to jesus thirsting on the cross... v16 refers to the hand and feet wounds of the nails... v18 refers to how jesus' clothing was divided... v22-23,27,31 refers to the need for evangelism... v26 refers to the promise of salvation... and it goes on... so surprising... i'm sure the only old testament passage which really compares to this is the ones found in isaiah...

oh yeah; niners WHUPPED the chiefs on saturday... 24-6... WOW... go niners! gluck garcia, plz recover soon!

i might need a usb drive... kinda tough transferring a 6+ MB file from my bro's cpu to my laptop... and i'm not too sure the filesplit program i have can do the trick...

have a lot to say, and library closes in 30, so let's get down to it:

bball yesterday: it was fun. first of all, i finally made my first under-the-legs layup(not in a real game though, sadly)... sam attributes it to my hangtime, which is why i keep wanting my ideal height to be 7 ft; nothing like being able to dunk and shoot over other ppl... strangely, i kept missing all my shots again(except for one layup i think)... and THEN, when it actually gets dark around 8:30, all my outside shots start hitting over wes' block attempts! what the? (and i mustve shot at least 3 shots in the dark)... maybe it's my night vision... thank God for the vitamin A, eh? i love crossing from right to left, then pulling up immediately to fire one... and tim gave me a couple pointers that might improve what i do when i get a screen...

celebration of discipline: it's done... what intrigues me is how foster ended the book on the discipline of celebration, and it got me seriously thinking: ykno, he's right; christians do have the truth in them, but they're not supposed to wander around depressed about life(and yet all these youths and college ppl around me are doing so), hoping to just get through this life; we're supposed to be breaking forth, dancing about, and stuff! soak up life! it was also nice how he ended with it, emphasising how joy helps us to carry through on those disciplines, and the disciplines' end result is joy, producing a never-ending cycle... do i celebrate? yes, and no; for me personally, i can ALWAYS celebrate when i worship; for me, it's just natural now; even if i'm alone and just listening to christian worship or christian rock .mp3s on my laptop, my head starts bobbing, and randomly i'll get up just to jump around and point to heaven... but i feel that i'm taking the other disciplines too seriously... i just wish God would help me out there...

concerning my bible study: i'm done w/job, and beginning psalms; i'll comment on psalms later, but for now, i'll list these verses, as they stand out in my head:
Ps 16:8, Ps 19:1

as for job, the thing you have got to remember is that God seemed very far away; for job, all that mattered was that he saw God; that was it; you noticed how after God saw job that that was all job wanted; he admitted he had nothing else to say, and repented, even while still in ruins. basically, God told job, "who are you to question what i do? if you can't even take on the best of my creation, how can you take on me?" however, one of the things i have realized is that God felt that he was always far apart, and didn't really ever get suffering; that's why Jesus came to earth; to die for our sins, but also so he could relate, as he suffered pretty much all there is to human suffering, so now when we gripe, "God you don't understand" his reply will be "i have been there; don't think for one moment that i don't understand how you're feeling; don't lose heart; i'm bearing the burden with you as we speak"

to end, i watched kqed today when they had "grilling maestros" on, and it was interesting how the 1st guy explained how they were going to grill a new york steak(mmm....) with sauteed shallots, crab meat, asparagus, and melting brie cheese all on top... oooh man... they called it like a "steak oscar" or something like that; i'll look to see if they have the receipe somewhere online, but man, that much be hecka tasty, but killer on your health...

hmm... corporate guidance... never really thought about that one before... haven't we all been concentrating upon what God has to do to guide the individual? the early church was so powerful because they met together in unity and prayer... (come to think about it a huge problem i believe with the modern church is that there is too little emphasis on solitude when it's needed, and too little emphasis on individualism when unity is needed; the 1st occurs when we're too busy to set aside time each workday to come before God and to REALLY ask what he wants or just to chill with him, the 2nd occurs when we think that what we hear from God by ourselves is immediately true and don't try to verify this feeling with others)

speaking of which, why don't christians ever get together in small groups just for the idea of praise? the idea was brought up in "Celebration of Discipline," and i'm wondering why we don't even try bothering with that idea... we get together for small group bible study, we get together for small group prayer time, but we NEVER get together JUST to praise God... and yet the bible commands that we should! you, reader, tell me, why DON'T we ever do this? why must worship be considered a "large group" thing? i'm starting to feel like this more and more, and i'm wondering why we can't do something about this... and i'm talking about no more than 10 ppl type small groups... i mean, outside of our praise band's saturday morning practice, there's never the sight of small group praise... we should make it more commonplace... i think it's a good thing... comments?

air combo finishers that initiate the flying screen effect in XvSF that cause an arc lead to some pretty POWERFUL corner combos; for some reason the damage that they do don't scale down that easily, and they take off the red life bar a lot better than the other moves, not to mention infinites that involve them almost NEVER dizzy the opponent

love this XvSF Charlie combo:
d.c.jab->c.strong->s.fierce xx sonic break(mash fully), sonic break(mash 4/5th of the way), repeatedly wavedash, then
d.c.short->c.fierce/\ sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forward xx forward air somersault kick, sj.roundhouse(otg)\/c.fierce/\ sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forward->sj.fierce->sj.roundhouse, sj.roundhouse
does a TON of damage(i'd say about 7/9 of the entire life bar); i'm wondering if it's fully guarenteed though... maybe the opponent can roll after the air somersault kick? otherwise, it looks like a guarenteed combo outside of that...

netzero's just keeps getting slower; i was lucky to be able to dl kazaa lite AND windows media player 7.1 yesterday... so i guess i'll just have to figure out "cry holy" tonight...

i'm wondering if i'll ever be able to finish what i had in mind for this summer...

i think i'll try to tab sonicflood's cry holy tonight(if i can dl it for that simple purpose); y'kno, something about sonicflood; sure, i think they're a great worship band, but a bit simplistic on the guitar... nevertheless, that's what different bands are for; besides, it's not that they're completely unimprovisational...

i kinda liked how i backed up bob on sunday during "everything that has breath;" while he was playing E, D#, C#m, A, B x2 to intro the song, i backed him up by coming in with this on the 2nd loop:

000007, 000900, 000900, 000007, 000900 (played this while he was playing E)
000800, 000800, 000007, 000800, 000007, 000800 (played this while he was playing D#)
000600, 000600, 000007, 000600, 000007, 000600 (played this while he was playing C#m)
000007/000009, 000009, 000009, 000007 (played this when he was playing A, B)

looks confusing? intimidated by what i wrote? don't worry; it's hard writing down EXACTLY what i played, but that's the skeleton of what i played; it sounded pretty good IMO; one of the reasons why i like having 2 guitarists in music bands now; one is the rhythm guitarist and does the skeleton of the melody, ykno, the chords, while one's the lead guitarist and can fill; i have a preference for lead guitarists, but sometimes when they're just riffing and filling away, the air sounds empty without any background noise; not so when there's a rhythm guitarist... (also semi-explains why i don't see it as "acoustic guitarist" and "electric guitarist" anymore)

though the college freshman girls joined us during the young adult's sunday school, i did internally wonder if they were confused on the stuff and would rather be with the youth group's sunday school... but girls aren't dumb... more or less i was wondering if they needed to hear the previous weeks' lessons to really get it...

wasted most of the day again... figures... i stayed inside and didn't songwrite so far...

more job-age today... it was essentially more of the same thing; the conversations got to a standoff though; job solemnly swore he did NOT do wrong, and that pretty much ended the debate... now i just have to read elihu and god's conversations, and i'm done w/the book...

man, should've checked out robin cook's "shock"; now i can't find it, but heck, maybe i can find it at barnes & noble and just read that... i don't need to be control of EVERYTHING...

a net-less hoop DOES throw off your shot... seems like the net gives a sense of persception that isn't found with just the rim... no wonder i was playing "team player" more successfully on saturday than doing stuff myself and shooting... i still would've been playing "team player" regardless because i haven't played bball for at least a week now... it's too late for me to get some serious practice today, but i can try tomorrow...

dude... As > NY yesterday... i loved the 9th inning... NY was up 1-0, and were first up; As managed to hold them back... then comes the As' turn... with a runner on 1st and 3rd, Miguel Tejada comes up to bat, and almost homers it to win the game; the outfielder couldn't catch the falling ball, since it rocheted off the wall, then he made an error in picking up the ball... As win 2-1... that's right! leave it to Tejada!

ok... i'm pretty much sitting blank right now at the cpu, cause i can't think of anything witty/insightful to type, so apparently i've run outta juice... i'm out...

library's gonna close really soon...

i wish i could be unashamed to praise God whenever, wherever...

ok that's it; i'll write later...

i remembered that there were some new testament verses in the bible that jesus said about plain honest speech; mainly, letting your yes be yes and your no be no, so i decided to add that to the bible links i had up there(sometimes we can be so flaky, so i want that verse to be easily referenced by me that i might never forget it; i am very tempted to point fingers at who doesn't keep their word, but sometimes i do it too, so i'll leave it at that); there was one i found in james, but i thought the one found in matt 5:36-37 was better, although i find the thought of james the person interesting; here's why; he was jesus' biological younger brother. imagine that; now i'm not too sure how many siblings jesus had, but i'm sure james wasn't the only one. still, imagine what it would be like to be james; jesus is your brother, and yet, also creator of the heavens and the earth! so on one point, he is totally in line with you, but on another token, he is beyond anything you are. also, correct me if i'm wrong, but james ended up believing in jesus AFTER he died and rose again. i'm sure most of us younger siblings often feel proud of our older siblings(you have NO IDEA how much i admire my bro, who is about 8 years older than i am), but imagine what it would've been like to be james... it boggles my mind...

(on a side note, it's strange concerning older and younger siblings, how most of my closer friends are all older siblings of their respective families...)

i wonder how the idea that jesus would come from the line of david makes sense; you realize that joseph never had any sexual relations with mary before she became pregnant(cue bill clinton's "i did NOT have any sexual relations with that woman"); but then again, it's understandable; to say that the savior would come from mary's lineage would sound kinda disgracing, since the jewish people at the time placed great emphasis on men. to be anal though, you'd have to say that the messiah would come from mary. still, the prophesies aren't really UNTRUE; you realize that joseph DID come from the line of david, and jesus WAS joseph's son... in a way, you could say joseph adopted jesus from the holy spirit, and thus the savior DID come from the family line

close to 2 chapters from finishing Celebration of Disciplines; i know it looks like i'm concentrating too much on finishing the book to pay close attention, but sometimes i feel tedious note-taking ruins the fun of reading; the hours just get eaten... so once i'm done i'll go back and reread to really get it... i realize one HUGE temptation of reading this book is to say "oh i didn't do discipline 'x' like Foster said!" but really, if you just have Christ guide you, everything'll be alright; one thing that DOES concern me is how i sometimes am not too sure God is speaking to me; God is not just a god of words, and so that leaves some mystery in how he communicates with us; but i'll pray about it, and ask that he might continue to help me hear him out; hey, it'll heighten my worship experience! :D

jeremy camp - take my life

HERE I AM BEFORE YOU NOW
LIKE A CHILD I'M REACHING OUT
HERE I AM I'M GIVING ALL I CAN
BREAKING MY PRIDE I FEEL I'M THROUGH
SHATTERED INSIDE I RUN TO YOU
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

TAKE MY LIFE
TAKE MY MIND
TAKE MY SOUL
TAKE MY WILL
I AM YOURS NOW AND I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE MY KING
OFFERING ALL MY EVERYTHING
LAYING ALL DOWN BEFORE THE I ONE I SERVE
I CAN UNDERSTAND THE REASONS WHY
YOU CAME ON THIS EARTH AND DIED
AND NOW I GIVE IT ALL TO YOU

I CAN FEEL YOU ON MY SHOULDER
SO I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE
I CAN SEE YOU PAINT MY PICTURE
THE BEAUTY IS ALL THERE

today's engrish.com cracked me up a bit; if i wasn't in a library i'd be laughing my @$$ off:
it's a woman wearing a sweatshirt that says "no guy will ever fancy me"
(ugh! you drive a hard bargain!)

i read up to ch 20 of job today, and i'm starting to feel that maybe people who don't understand why God feels so far away when good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people should read this book. the student bible i have that phil gave me had a good insight in it concerning the book, but i kinda wanna look at that later, but what surprised me was the coming across of this extremely high-hoping thought by job, even when he was in the midst of his greatest despair:

Job 19:25-27
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.
And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;
I myself will see him with my own eyes-I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!

it appears that people make the misconception that good people prosper, and bad people suffer IN THIS LIFETIME; that was the big mistake of job's 3 friends. but it's not true; what IS true is that that justice only gets served after the end of the world has come about. no wonder why there's such a misconception amongst the secular society that many people will go to heaven cause they've been a "fairly good person"
another thing you'll notice about job is that the best advice you can give to a suffering person is simply to sit in compassionate silence; look at the damage that was done by job's 3 friends! i keep seeing how job constantly asked his friends, "why aren't you being supportive?"

man, i haven't read robin cook's stuff in a long time; so when i tried to today, i was a bit confused for a while seeing all the medical jargon he uses; at least i was intelligent enough to know the procedure he was describing at the beginning was the process of cloning by nuclear transfer...

i'm sorry, i meant what cell phones were better... but more or less you can still throw your inputs out...

today's verse of the day:

1st John 2:17
The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever

it never occurred to me just how meaningless the secular life is; i fall victim to it too; like i wasted a TON of time today just marvelling at how i can now do the full 4-hit chain for Psylocke's air combo in MSH today cause of some special setup i found out; and then a voice inside my head hit me; "is that all you can lean on for substanence?" i mean, really, what gives? maybe i really should get back to what my life should be all about... what i intended my summers should be all about...

wow... my mom surprised me by asking me what cell phone deals were better yesterday; i asked why; she said she might be considering to getting me one; so if you guys have any deals you think are good, throw em out on the comment link below; i'm all ears

it's wes' bday today!(kinda makes me wish i had about 30+ already recorded .mp3s, then i could just give him a USB drive for his bday; one chock full of those 30+ songs, that is)

man, i should've gotten up earlier today; i could've gone to CTCC and helped out w/their VBS...

something that confounds me is how some ppl APPEAR to look pumped up for christ during school days; then they come back, and everything looks unchanged... like why the heck do you keep showing up late for church, as well as joining the youth during sunday school, instead of the young adults? i thought you were refined! where's the deeds portion of your faith?

its amazing how sometimes ppl you THINK you know surprise you by paying attention in sunday school, and showing interest

j.forward->j.fierce\/d.c.jab->c.fierceXXqcb+2k,c.short(otg)->c.fierce/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.forwardxxqcb+2k

sometimes i just wanna be left alone w/God... let me muse in my own thoughts, and let the holy spirit whisper things into my ears; don't bother me or call me up during these times; you ruin the potential there; you and your gotta-always-do-things-in-a-rush-w/others-mentality...

i started on JOB today; i'll comment later tonight or tomorrow...

newest find on the web for me today(will add it to the links sometime later):

Shareware Music Machine

this site's great for songwriters and stuff; you can find all the freeware and shareware music software stuff you ever need, more or less, to record or have fun, music-wise; very useful; chances are, it's linked somewhere here. one of the gems i found yesterday was the Audio Phonics Guitar Tuner; a freeware guitar tuner software program that is IMO THE best guitar tuner i've ever used; just plug either a mic or cable into your sound card, open the program and pluck the guitar strings; the program can even read octaves higher or lower so the correct key isn't a problem. it can even save special key preferences(like if you like playing with 1/2 step down from a drop D a lot); the 1st time i used it, i was surprised just how sensitive the tuner is... personally, i already have a tuner, but this makes it a LOT more convenient if i'm tuning at home; no need to unplug my whole guitar setup, plug into the tuner, just to tune it; all i need to do is just open the program...

i was surprised to see how the discipline of servitude extends beyond the act of serving; more or less any act which puts others first is an act of serving; listening to others, holding others in high regard by not gossipping, etc, are all excellant ways of being a servant... even letting yourself be served is an act of serving(you're recognizing spiritual authority, hence serving others)

joe's belated bday dinner was cool; we went to frankie, joannie, and luigi too! i'm still not really used to ground beef into tomato sauce; the whole thing tastes pretty salty! i had the veal parmigiana from last time... so that was good...

western conference comments on my fave teams there:
looks like minnesota's gonna be formidable again... spree, cassell, KG... i dunno what you did in minnesota phil, but i love it!
spurs... are always gonna be spurs... i hope they counter lakers again this year... go ginobili and duncan!
hope the best for kings, and warriors, as always...
(i hope they broadcast US bball on local TV when it comes up...)

james 2:14,17-19,26; added to my list of bible verses; seriously, it is that important; james emphasizes the important of faith WITH deeds; of course, deeds by itself is legalism... but it is hard to see faith without deeds... it really is...

dude... i just came across the most coolest-looking fender stratocastor picture today when i was venturing in my bro's room; phil has MOUNDS of books/mags for guitars, and in one of the mags, i saw this full-page picture of a completely CLEAR, SEE-THROUGH fender stratocastor(i'll have to show you a pic of it bob); it's beautiful; it was originally worth $1,000, but now it's probably worth 50x+ more than that now! it was the one they showcased to introduce the fender to the guitar world...

oh yeah, i read in reader's digest of how maybe the view of a soul isn't so far-fetched, medically-wise; there were reports of people who were in surgical procedure; brain-dead, but somehow they had an out-of-body-experience and could see themselves being operated upon; doctors still don't buy it, and i'm not surprised; "if they will not even believe moses, then they will not believe when someone rises from the dead" was something jesus said during his life on earth. if you wanna google this, the term used is called "near death experience," or NDE

i thought after MJ left the Wizards that i'd finally ditch my loyalty to them; boy was i wrong; Arenas(damnit! he values money over loyalty) is going to Washington... we will miss you, Gilbert... we really will...

so instead, GSW picks up Speedy Claxton from SAS... i dunno... i believe he's not going to be as good as arenas, but he WAS a good help during game 6 of the finals(parker was of surprisingly NO help during game 6)... bob, you're a spurs-warriors fan, what'd you think?

esther is done... strangely, of all the books in the bible that i have read front to back, this one seems to have no credit to God... it's maybe only implied, and you realize that the jews that refused to go back to jerusalem(remember the 70 years of exile had been over by this time, since Cyrus was the one who liberated the jews, and the reign after him led to Xerxes, the king in this book) and stayed back in persia were more concerned about money and position than God himself. esther also apparently had no concern for being married to a pagan king who apparently treated esther more like a toy than a human being. however, it goes to show how God does watch over his people, even when they don't even know their own father or have their priorities straight... ever notice how well israel is doing compared to its other middle eastern neighbors recently? it's not picture-perfect, but still a lot better...
i don't wanna elaborate on anything more, cause the story almost feels more like a legend than an actual document; it is true though, cause it has been backed up...

this is the discipline of submission, in a nutshell:
"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)
and let's remember this: self-denial is not hating yourself; it is putting someone else, mainly God, first, then the people you come in contact with everyday, and then yourself

today's engrish.com cracks me up... homo soap... that's one thing you shouldn't drop in the bathroom! :D

haha... is this me you guys?

Neurotic

read the bio and see how much he and i am related; no, i insist this is NOT me... but look at his bio and what i say about myself in person, especially how he songwrites; pretty similar huh? (i'm gonna have to dl his songs sometime when i get back to school)

looking further at the google searches w/the same name, so many ppl doing successful stuff; UCLA, princeton, driving beemers, and yet look at me... though God would say otherwise

oh yeah; the very first link for a google search for jerm's full first and last name brings up a doctor under the dept of biosci and biotech... lucky boy...

sometimes the human reaction to unfortunate circumstances leads us to just act incredibly weird; we dispise our circumstances, then we begin to hate ourselves, hate God, hate whatever we can think of for the upbringing of our current circumstances, other people... anything that we somehow think is connected to our circumstances... what we all gotta do is just stop, admit your faults, and come back to God, trusting him, then just forget your frustrations and worries, and then thank God...

confronting your fears is perhaps the only way you're ever gonna have release from any anxiety which stems from it...

ok... nehemiah's done, onto esther...

praise night was fun... it was small, there were some people whom i wished should've went, but didn't(wrong priorities, maybe?), but in the end, it did what all praise/prayer nights should've done; set aside a night for intercessory prayer and praise... some of the songs were slow, but i had no big deal with it; when YOU'RE the one leading, nothing's boring(mainly cause i got to pick and fool around with ways to play each song)... although i LOVED the way we transitioned from the 2nd to last song to the last song...

the missionary which spoke on sunday was very intriguing... what i found interesting was how different groups HAVE different views of things... if someone had offered to pay for all the expenses i would need to pay for sending someone to mission school, i would be estatic... but he made a point how the others didn't, simply because they found it was a way they could connect; sacrifice for them meant happiness; which is weird, cause often we're taught that it's not a good thing. he also had a LOT of funky stuff he got... i wouldn't want to get stung by those ants, or get shot by a 7-ft long arrow w/poison on the end... his sermon-message was that if God is really ours, how come we keep straddling the line? or as paul put it, why are we lukewarm? God isn't calling us to be lukewarm and just dump cotton on his foundation; give your best, and lay the best of your life upon it, or don't bother at it; you would've been better off not knowing God and not giving anything at all than being a lukewarm christian and just giving SOME of your all.

i remember hearing these lyrics yesterday on AIR1(still haven't figured out who wrote it, going by the air1 charts):
"don't you know that we are listening for whispers, when we cannot hear the screams/the sun is blinding us and still we look for matches"

Free Ice Cream from Cold Stone

so... anybody wanna visit Valley Fair July 24th w/me? they have Cold Stone... let's raid the place! :D

man, i am sweaty right now; i think i'll go take a shower before i head back to church... worship practice was fun though, and i didn't even know jerm's cousins play the guitar now! the reason i'm sweaty is cause i decided to try to shoot some hoops at farley while janet's team was practicing and bob's team was off...

later guys...

alright, so like i said i would, i read half of nehemiah today; i wanted to finish ALL of it, but it was slightly longer than usual, and i grew tired taking notes, so i'll just finish tomorrow morning... or end up finishing it sunday afternoon, since i may actually get to finish my .mp3 project tonight or tomorrow morning(i seriously wonder if i'm ever gonna finish 3 songs like i wanted this summer though; seems the more i dive into the project the more things i can find wrong sounding with it, it mainly has to do with the fact that i can never get the bass sounds to come out right, but there's other issues, and the more i see them i'm reluctant to finish; uh, hm, i need to pray about this)... anyways:

the 1st half of the book more or less talks about how nehemiah made the journey back to jerusalem to help his people rebuild the wall of jerusalem; think of its importance this way; having a strong, protected wall would keep raiders, robbers, other races out; and since the wall was weak, israel's religion was easily being diluted as the jews didn't feel safe and thus married to other races, and thus slowly began losing their touch of God. now, more or less, the book follows from the perspective of nehemiah. he is seen as a person who is in power, but constantly asks God for help; in fact, for the petition to the persian king, he first put up a prayer to God before asking him, and it worked. also, he is seen as a remarkable leader; when the bordering politicians looked to try to impede the wall-rebuilding progress, by force, he was able to reorganize the workers and spur them on, telling them to be strong and fight for God; apparently nehemiah never separated religion from action. he was also wise enough to see through the personal plots by the politicians on his life, and later, his reputation; while you can find out more by reading chapters 1-6, i think i will elaborate on something new i saw; they tried intimidation one way; by sending him an unsealed letter saying that it could be possible that he was trying to revolt and set himself up as king, then encouraging him to meet with them. obviously it was an attempt on his life, but basically, and unsealed letter meant anyone could read it, which was part of the intimidation; again, he saw through it. then another time one of his associates told him that he knew people were plotting to assassinate him, and thus tried to convince him to go hide in the temple; this was an attempt not to kill him, but tarnish his reputation; i believe only Levites at the time could enter the temple; either that or maybe you can only enter on the Sabbath. but yeah, he saw all through it, and soon the temple was completed. i wish i have THAT resolve and wisdom to see what i wanted to do through.

the more i see it, when you have a slightly above-average height and are playing bball, and have the rock, you don't need flashiness to beat the opponent... although i will see whether this holds up as i play more; i mean i was doing good yesterday against sam, sarah and louis w/me, jerm and jon, but maybe that's cause they weren't guarding me THAT closely(enabled me to get a lot of good shots), and jerm and jon work as a team, making good passes, unlike selfish me(that'll be something i need to work on)... usually i can't figure out how to shake the opponent off of me when they guard me in my face... my spin move's still too unreliable, and frontal crossover's a no-no when you're that close... but then, mj didn't have a lotta ballhandling skills on offense; what made him so good was the shot itself, and the usefulness of the crossover to him, plus his footwork... as i read somewhere online, he beat opponents with his footwork, not his hands... his handwork all came from the shot itself... so maybe i'll just enter each game with that mentality... i still can't figure out how to shake people who are in my face though... i had two highlights yesterday, actually, make that three; one was a defensive monster swat at a shot(i will not comment here because i think it was so utterly funny you had to see it to believe it; jerm and jon were rolling on the ground), the other one was a stutter step right when i had the ball but immediately shifted left and shot the ball(will have to try that more; it worked like a charm), and the last one was a turnaround jumper in midair, like a 180...(so it wasn't a turnaround, then jump and shoot, i actually jumped with my back to the board, twisted myself around, then shot)

i will pray, and keep asking you God, for the desire to create my own songs of worship to show my love for you... please help me... grant me knowledge as to how to edit...

youth group's meeting at valley fair tonight; this should be fun...

and, more or less, i'm spending the entire day at church tomorrow; should also be fun...

wow... i am BREEZING through the old testament now, now that i'm actually trying... today's lesson from ezra; apparently, 70 yrs in exile DID make a difference. before the babylonians had carried off southern israel, the people of judah were fairly ignorant. God sent a buncha prophets, but they wouldn't listen, or heed or repent, you get the idea; judah was a stiff-necked people indeed. however, we see that in ezra, when the people came to ezra telling him how they were intermarrying with foreign peoples and worshipping their gods, that ezra breaks down and prays an intercessory prayer for them; they then all join ezra in mourning and agree to get rid of all their hindrances to God; but we saw that in Joshua right after all the stiff-necked egyptian israelites died off that a new generation full of zeal for God rose up. and so it seems with Christianity; a lot of the people who grow up in hardships are the ones who understand how awesome it is to be close with God; then a nation arises which doesn't suffer the same consequences and the like, and they fall, and so i'm beginning to see how MAYBE a little hardship isn't bad after all; it was good for the israelites...

next up; nehemiah for tomorrow...

go wish fatcheeks(joe) a BIG happy bday if you haven't yet...

i don't really like todd agnew's "this fragile breath" melodically, but i think the lyrics are so true:

I searched the world for a song that I could sing
Praise to my King, A gift that I could bring
But no music I found could compare to You
Not one could do Justice to Your glory
What are my songs compared to Yours

You speak with thunder and lightening
Your voice shakes the mountains
The foundations of the earth
All I can offer is this fragile breath
With each one I'll praise You
With each one I'll praise You more

I searched the world for a poem I could read
A rhyme that would bring Glory to my King
But no writing I found was worthy of
This God high above all other gods
What are my words compared to Yours

Sonicflood- Cry Holy:

Every sun and moon and star
All declaring who You are
We fall silent in amazement
Every word and deed of man
Every sea and grain of sand
All creation speaks
And now we sing to proclaim You majesty

Let the earth rejoice
Singing with one voice
Let the people cry
Holy holy Lord
Every creature sing
Praises to the King
All creation cry
Holy is the Lord
Holy is the Lord

Every song sung on the earth
Will never capture all You worth
We fall silent in amazement
Let every humble heart now see
The beauty of Your majesty
All creation speaks
And now we sing to the King
Above all Kings

All creation proclaims Your majesty
Holy is Your name in all the earth
All creation proclaims Your majesty
And now we sing

forgiveness vs.vengence; the more you think about it, the more it's harder to see how you can be forgiving AND just; some people say you can be just and still forgive(ie punishing clinton by impeaching him but forgiving him); but really, if you had a hard of forgiving, you probably wouldn't punish them at all; think about it; an innner heart reflects an outward attitude; it's like only when you inner feelings of vengence have subsided, THEN you forgive them. so that doesn't really work. now, i'm not one to suggest it was a bad idea to execute the Nazis, or that we shouldn't go after saddam and his two sons(just reading an archive from TIME on the ruthlessness of his 2 sons pisses me off greatly), or osama; of COURSE we should go after them. as long as we set standards of right and wrong we need to uphold those standards. but i'm seeing how much harder it is to TRULY forgive someone if all you're concentrating upon is the punishment. am i wrong? or am i onto something?

i am trying to go about this day without even touching my capcom fighting games or cpu cs; consider it as a sort of fast, like daniel's; i want to see how much more i can get out of this day, as i often waste my time since i go overboard. maybe i should even extend it to the rest of the week and see if i experience any withdrawl symptoms. but the main point of me doing this is to fill myself up with the love of God(and some extra time in the process); besides, my thumbs callouses are pissing me off slightly.

ykno, Ecclesiastes 1 is pretty much true; nothing has changed since then; consumerism thinks that we need to keep filling our eyes and ears with so much stuff to be happy; YOU WON'T BE; life is meaningless. soloman was onto something. pleasure in this life is like chasing after the wind. the eye has never had its fill of seeing, the ear never its share of hearing. so all you can do is cling to God, through whom all blessings flow.

Look! Peace in the Middle East is occurring! :D

i'm gonna close today with this:

If I could write one letter to the world as we know it
I would list these rhymes that mean everything to me
Heartache temporary
Bullets only stop your blood
Pain will live on and on, in everyone
We could change it down

And we could change the world
We could strike the chord
We are the lost one's
We could re-write history
If only you and me

The bottle holds no answers
His lips can only sway
Chemicals imbalance
Who needs them anyway?
Desire is close at hand
Her lips can only sway
There's more to life than this
Don't give yourself away
Don't give yourself away

Amberlin- Change The World

i really like Psalm 51; this is the psalm of a contritefully sorry God-seeking man; i remember reading it during this sunday's communion, and it stuck in my mind so much that i have made the link to it permanently available at the top of my page next to all the other bible verses of mine. i will, and suggest to you, that the next time you feel like you're sorry for sinning against God, but don't know how to express it, go back and read this psalm again.

the other verse that has intrigued me to link it has been 2nd Chron 30:18-20; i read it today; this is an account of Judah during the reign of Hezekiah, when Israel had been wiped off the face of the map... Hezekiah had invited Judah and the remnants of Israel to come to Jersusalem to hold a nationwide passover, since one had not been held since 200 years... a minority of Israel, those who had acknowledged idolatry for the punishment of Israel, and were true followers of God, came... granted, these people didn't have time to consecrate themselves for the passover, and were thus ceremonially unclean. however, hezekiah prayed to God on behalf of them, and i liked what he said here, as basically he reminds God that he looks at the heart and not the ceremony; God obviously remembered that and thus acknowledged the few which came from Israel as one of them; in fact, we see in the next chapter that as soon as the celebration was over, those that came from Israel themselves went to the tribes of Benjamin, Judah, and the 2 tribes of Joseph and rid ALL all the idolatrous objects there were; proof that the inside not only matters, but is often reflected on the outside.

not many of you would probably care about this, but i found out that mercury levels of fish that we eat today aren't necessarily safe; it's only cause not many people whore fish that we pay attention... but basically, in reader's digest, i found out that you shouldn't whore the large fish as much as you would like; the bigger the fish, the more higher their mercury content; mercury has a high chance of messing up your nervous system and making you lose your hair; sometimes death results... but no, don't take this as an excuse not to eat fish :D it's just that you need to eat the big stuff a LOT more sparingly; go easy on the sharks and swordfish, as well as fresh tuna, for instance; for me, even though i like fish, i tend to concentrate upon the small guys; my faves are trout, catfish, seafood, and salmon, so no worries for me there.

it's too bad that modern-day society only teaches you that the only thing to life is being happy and having as much as possible; just like last year, the more i dive back into the spiritual disciplines the more i shun the way mainstream consumerism works.

MLB all-star game tonight(i think); go bonds!

MSH thanos:
sj.dn.roundhouse\/d.s.jab->s.short->s.strong(2 hits)->c.forward/\sj.dn.roundhouse(OTG)\/c.strongXXsoul inf combo,d.c.short->c.strong/\sj.jab->sj.short->sj.strong->sj.forwardXXfierce rush
(one heck of a style combo, and unlike all the other combos he has, is much skill; 16 hits, ~80% damage)