now i praise and exalt and glorify the king of heaven, because he has shown me mercy. and those who walk in pride he is able to humble.

and we will give you glory/ bring you honor/ king above all kings/ you deserve our everything/ we will lift our voices/ with your praises/ jesus you are our king

my throat feels dry, for some strange reason

holy crap! they have super soakers @woodland's target! no bull!

i had no idea there was a building on UC Davis which is always open, and designed solely for studying... it's really quiet in there too.

and it's not the library, not the mu griffin lounge.

OPEN 24/7.

we gotta have one last nerfwar before we grow old... whoever gets the largest house has to host it. i'm planning on buying 1-2 more nerfs before we do it. anyways, a (partial? almost forgot what i have; i had to rack my brain to try to remember) list of what i've got:

bow n' arrow- jerm thought this was the best nerf gun we had; however, i'd say that's only cause the arrows included tended to not be bent, unlike all the other blasters we got, making this one VERY accurate; nothing like aiming about 5 feet away with a double crossbow, only to have the missiles fly like 3 feet up and to the right
nb-1- pump action blaster; shoots missiles; i really liked this one
ripsaw- lol! we never really used this... the 1st and only time i did, it was so noisy; it's so easy to see if your opponent's gonna fire, cause then they start revving the blaster so much and the noise grates on your ears; otherwise you can rapid fire 3 balls, but they travel fairly slow
sawtooth- mine partially broke, but it was like a bolt action gun; pretty cool; 5 dart clip
hydro blaster- also partially broken; fires single balls; before it broke, it was designed to be able to fire water WITH the ball
double crossbow- my all time fave; like nb-1, but you could shoot up to 2 missiles, and holds up to 6 missiles; fairly accurate
t-3- the last one i got; maybe the best one in terms of features; up to 3 blasters; a ghetto bow n arrow, dart blaster, or combine to shoot both @the same time; pretty interesting...
missilestorm- rapid fire 4 missiles; pump action

i think i MIGHT have another one, but i can't really remember... i thought i had nine nerfs

shoot man, too many memories; i like how there's like 3+ peeps who had crossbow, lol; made things a bit too boring. i really liked jerm's arrowstorm; fired up to 6 arrows rapid fire, but you could make it fire darts REALLY WELL.

btw, if we play again, we better not get the arrows or missiles any more jacked up than they are... last time i checked, nerf doesn't sell missiles or arrows no more

it appears MSM this quarter is focusing upon the spiritual disciplines, as explained by richard foster's book, as well as Dallas Willard's; wonderful! as if the timing couldn't be better, considering i'm trying to right myself onto the right track at about the same time by beginning to REALLY practice the disciplines again! the funny part is that there's NOT going to be a sermon on fasting though, but then again... it seems a lotta msm'rs like to eat...

of course, dif ppl, dif disciplines... but i used to think fasting was kinda useless too. the truth of it is, i think it's definitely a lot more useful than i used to perceive.

for me, i'll concentrate upon fasting, prayer and meditation for the majority of this year(i'll let worship come as it is, not try to put a priority on it yet)... just a long year of trying to actually hear god more.

for a while, the post i made yesterday will be THE post of the year for me... there is nothing like having god grant you a miracle... you don't need to be on a deathbed, you don't need to be spiritually ill; if you've got a need, and the faith and persistence to pull for it, god will deliver. that of course, doesn't mean god's a genie. but then again, IF you've got a NEED...

however, i would like to say something about fasting(seeing how it's one of my steps in my n.y. resolution towards nurturing my relationship towards god better); i was so uneasy about checking my grades that i waited til yesterday to check, seeing as today school started. so i decided to fast for ~24 hrs yesterday just to show god this was something i really cared about; no food til 12 AM(i would've done it earlier, but then i'd have to explain to my mom why i was fasting @home). i mean, take a look at verse 21(look at the footnotes); fasting and prayer have always went hand in hand in biblical times, why not?

to have gone so long w/o trying to fast, and then suddenly try it, i was so tempted to snarf down the remains of the breyer's reeses ice cream in the fridge; but then i had to clamp down upon myself and say NO; STICK IT TIL THE END... apparently, i depend more upon food for comfort than i believe; if it weren't for my rediculous metabolism, i might be 180 lbs now... it reminds me of what richard foster said in his book of disciples; what you are made of will come out when you fast(which is why from now on if i want to fast i'll start by foregoing dinner, seeing as it's my biggest meal i eat out of a day; bigger challenge i guess); if you're angry @heart, it'll come out; if you're lazy, it'll come out; me, i guess the temptation to give in or become sleepy(?, but true; felt like taking naps) kicked in... also weird was that near the midday, i didn't feel hungry, but had HEADACHES instead... (i know, i know, after a while of fasting, you don't feel hunger pangs, but that's like after 7 days)... and the point is not to see how tough you are, but what you need help in... that's something i'll have to think about when i try it again... i'm also thinking maybe dinnertime + 24 hr fast(ie something of a 30 hr fast) would be good here, maybe even add another day, to really see what i'm made of.

it's strange, really, i have always hated the anger that is part of me, and yet, somehow, i can use it to motivate myself too. hard to describe, but basically, i'll start internally yelling at myself when i'm tempted(you may wonder why i'm saying this; it's partially how i was able to get myself through the fasting), or slacking.

to close, maybe habitual fasting will help show me back something that i've been missing all along in christianity... it is, after all, pretty hard to stack everything self-operated christianity is upon study, prayer and meditation...

*had a bout of insomnia yesterday, despite knowing that god already took care of me... i think the apt heater was too hot for me; jerm and jon are just too pampered @home... they should live in my house... then they wouldn't even want to turn ON the heater; not that i like my stingy-mom's attitude towards saving money either...*

*denjin hadoken rocks btw, and all the good players @the mu playing 3rd strike are top tier whores... sad; all i see is chun-li and ken... mostly ken...*

*i'm thinking of getting the mark tremonti power wah... in the future... distant future...*

*ROFL! watch the vid!*

and to think i used to believe god would only perform miracles if you were on a deathbed or your SPIRITUAL health depended upon it...

because of god's never-ending grace and mercy, i am still a student at uc davis, not kicked out or dismissed; my status is now "good standing."

there's too many bible verses and lessons that i picked up on grace and mercy and using prayer to petition to god, that i read up and tried to apply to my prayer during the 2-3 weeks that i was on winter break, just asking god to give me another chance...

so i'm gonna have to write them down upon a .doc file sometime soon... because what i learned was astounding.

i'd spend too much time to try to explain everything that went on in the last 2 weeks on this blog, when i should be getting some sleep for my nine o clock class, so i'll end with the very first lesson i picked up:

"there is nothing we can do to earn god's grace... there is everything we can do in a lifetime to show him that we're thankful"

thank you, thank you, thank you, god... you won't be regretful you gave me another chance at davis...

new year's resolutions for 2005:

1) spend more time with god in prayer, fasting and meditation: ~3-5 prayers/day, 1 ~24-48 hr fast/month, 1-2 meditations/day
2) spend more time serving my fellow christian brothers and keeping them accountable
3) work on the study habits ie spend more time @shields library
4) serve others(i'm thinking of joining awana)

now i just need to not fall away...

ESPN.com - NBA - NBA Standings

someone enlighten me... why is detroit NOT 3rd, when they are 17-13, and new york is 16-14, who IS 3rd? different divisions in the conference? explain how that works...

btw, bulls are looking good recently... weird... ahh well... good thing i started wearing my bulls tshirt again...

tis a sad thing for warriors to finally get their win streak snapped

NBA.com: Richardson, Dunleavy Spark Warriors Past Raptors

woohoo! get 5 warriors! get 5!

ESPN.com - NBA - Recap - Pistons at Wizards

i'm glad billups was billups, but if detroit wants to DOMINATE, they have got to start getting rid of those deficits in the 1st half... and they have to win by at least 10 pts.

BibleGateway.com Passage?Lookup: Matthew 15:21-28

i can't believe how inept i was not to discover what is more or less, the meaning of the parable in matthew 15:21-28 for 21 years, until just a few minutes ago...

i'll admit i was always thrown off by the part about jesus talking about not being right to throw bread to the dogs, where the canaanite woman responded that the dogs would eat the crumbs that fell anyways, and jesus responding that she had great faith.

now i understand; that's why jesus had said in verse 24 to the disciples that he was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel; the bread was meant for the children. he had responded to her in a symbolic picture of himself, and the canaanite woman, unlike the jewish crowds who would constantly go "huh?" about his parables, caught on and answered in the same way back.

that brings up a question though; why would jesus commend the woman's answer for being of great faith? does this mean that the dogs eat the crumbs, miniscule as they are, because they believe even the smallest of bread crumbs will fully nourish them? and does THIS show great faith? does it mean that the dogs eat the crumbs, in the hopes that they'll soon receive the FULL piece of bread for eating the crumbs? and THAT's their great act of faith? does it mean that the dogs sit under the table, in the hope that anything reminiscent of a bread, even crumbs, which are considered to be TINY, will come down? and is THAT the great act of faith?

apparently, in the book of matthew, jesus might've mentioned him being the bread that came from heaven, but maybe matthew was not around to hear it; however, he might've alluded to it in this passage. why else would he mention it not being right to take bread and toss it to the dogs?

man, this passage is STILL deep... there's layers of meaning behind verses 26-28... it's gonna be on my mind for a while...

(if i'm not fretting about my future, that is)

bored, but anyways, here's the entire scoop on in n out's secret menu; you'll need to look @both wiki sites to get the full picture... i've known about both sites for a time though.

In-N-Out - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Davis Wiki - In N Out Secret Menu

interesting... i could ask for chopped chiles eh? i could try that once... 2 cheeseburgers, animal style, one w/chopped chiles...

and, considering that they have chiles, it'd be cool to try fries animal style w/chiles once...

root beer float sounds kinda cool, but it's more for showing off your knowledge of the secret menu; it REALLY costs a LOT less to just buy the ingredients @safeway and make it yourself.

and my hands are FREEZING... i'm gonna make a cup of hot water before i go to bed.

sooo... nets led by at largest, 806 pts eh? must suck to have lost :D (btw, i did in no shape or fashion try to alter the picture; just took a screenshot as seen on espn.com; 10:18, dec 27th) 

NBA.com: Pistons Prevail Over Nets

wow... wallace x2, prince, AND "dice" all had 4 blocks apiece. big ben also just cleaned the glass, and prince had a huge all-around night.

yay! warriors have won 2 straight! and not against suckage teams either!

eagles at rams wasn't THAT exciting... TO was out, and andy reid wanted his team to just play injury-free... hence, they were playing w/their secondaries...

As taken from ESPN:

12:20 PM "Shaq is the first Heat player introduced and gets a raucous ovation. He nods to his wife, who's sitting with family and friends across from the Miami bench, and then raises his right arm to salute the audience. Eddie Jones, another ex-Laker, is introduced next, meaning Udonis Haslem is the afternoon's first player to get booed. ('I think it was 89.2 percent cheers,' O'Neal said later, 'and 11.8 percent boos.' Folks were laughing too hard to tell him that adds up to 101 percent.)"

89.2+ 11.8 = ROFLMAO!

R.I.P. Reggie White

yay for warriors for t3h win!

but nay for niners for the embarrassing way they lost...

(might as well be thankful for xmas day nba games... both of them went the way i hoped they would go)

i'm so stressed out at night these days... must be at least 1 hr each night i toss and turn... the future's unknown, possibly dark potential is getting me down... btw i still haven't checked grades...

actually met joe chung on monday at target... that was a surprise.

cupertino library's pretty nice... best thing is probably the huge aquarium they have downstairs. at first i thought they didn't have microsoft office on their cpus like saratoga, but i was wrong.

btw, i think heat's gonna win over lakers... or at least i'm hoping it turns out that way.

i need to mail packages more often; i have no experience doing this stuff; next time i try to mail phil a gift, i need to actually WRAP the gift before going to the post office; i thought they would wrap it at the post office... boy was i wrong... but since i already accidently paid for the postage, and had the guy slap it on before i could say anything, it would've been a waste of 5+ dollars to go back home, wrap it, then come back... it's PRETTY obvious what i'm giving to phil...

----------------------------

there's nothing we can do to earn god's grace... there is everything we can do in a lifetime to show our thanks for it

but then, what is prayer then? it's not "earning god's grace," yet we know that prayer can change lives... so i've gotten weird thoughts about this... yes, the whole point of it is to talk with god, and yet...

what about the issue of selfISH prayer? i know god favors the selfLESS prayer when it comes to others, but what about the selfISH prayer? yet, i've known that he's granted these before, so you can only hope.

but no matter what selfish reason you approach god for a request, there's at least 2 things you're doing right for in this case; 1) you acknowledge that he alone has the power to change things (and your life), and 2) you acknowledge that he alone has the mercy to want to change things to help you. i like to think about hezekiah who was granted 15 extra years to his life, or the leper who approached jesus and said, "jesus, if you are willing, you can make me clean."

and where is the line of FAITH and OVER-CONFIDENCE? where's that lie? james states that when we ask for something from god, we must believe, or it's highly unlikely that we won't get anything. but how do i judge between what is true faith, what is being insecure(as opposed to knowing i have to pray more), and between that and what is overconfident?

then there's the matter of abraham and issac; in this example, we see that abraham desperately held onto the faith that issac would be saved, but ultimately trusted in god more to say, "ok, i'll obey you." however, i don't think all of us when we trust in god, will get our "issac" back, per see.

jesus himself in times of anguish stated that what he should've said was not "father, save me," but "father, glorify your name" of course, what all of us want to say is, "father, save me, SO THAT you can glorify your name." i don't think that'll work that way though.

which makes me all the more perplexed, afraid, and hoping that god will take care of my future, and HOPEFULLY, my plans match his. *deep sigh of distress."

i guess even though i know almost no one reads my blog, i'm still afraid to post my greatest sins on here.

wow, how did miami pull off that amazing comeback vs the patriots? i've never seen tom brady screw up that badly before monday's game, and suddenly, he's got more than 2 INT's in one night! he's overall, the most solid qb... his numbers from up-close to all the way out are very consistent... actually, new england's probably overall the most solid team all-around, and yet, miami refused to die... they made a game of it... unlike the niners... :(

i wonder if pacers had artest and j.o. and stephen, would pistons vs pacers then have been on abc this xmas day? (probably not sez a large part of my brain; no definite superstar for the casual bball fan to bandwagon on = abc's not gonna show it) i really want to watch this over miami vs la... both teams are built correctly from the ground up and play team ball and defense... although part of me says the game's in detroit's favor with a 7-3 chance... no o'neal, no artest, no stephen? oh sure, the crowd'll boo them all they want, and pacers have shown great heart despite them being out, but facts are facts; detroit, if they play well and don't do anything stupid, they got the game in the bag. detroit has had a habit of coming out weak in the 1st half almost every game this season though, so i think that seems to be their crux...

i would think, that for pistons to surpass the team that they used to be last season, darko needs to become better than okur, and delfino and coleman better than williamson... otherwise... they apparently gave up too much depth in the offseason.

i'd post more, but i promised i'd spend more time w/god each day starting after fall quarter ended, so i gotta read some before i hit bed

They never give a break w/the soap opera in LA do they?

you'd THINK it'd be over by now... just when it seems that kobe and shaq have moved on...

then the mailman jumps on...

and the surprising thing is... i think the general public, in a weird way, loves this type of drama... despite the fact that they're ragging on and on... "oh, kobe shouldn't do this, oh karl shouldn't do this..."

did i mention how foggy it's been in davis for the past week or so?

it's so thick up til the late morning, and in the early night, that you swear you could cut it in two with a knife or something, but you can't...

it's almost totally symbolic of our limited ability to see into the future... what you think is there isn't necessarily there... til it's right in front of your face...

funny how we've gotten fog, but not rain... but i like it better this way... better not to know what the future holds, than to be drenched in the present...

3 more days...

dayamn, alter bridge's debut cd IS gold...

i am hooked already... and i'm writing this on the night i opened it and listened to 2-3 of the songs on the way back home...

you don't know what you're missing from rock music til you hear it(and if you think the cd is just noise, then you just don't get rock music); mark tremonti IS talent...

thank you, GGPO, and g'nite...

(btw, spurs just raped on saturday night... damn... i wish i could see highlights... how in the hell did they shoot over 80%? as a team?!?!?)