Friday, February 07, 2003

damnit... mustard seed ministry didn't seem to want to meet today or maybe they just wanted to meet elsewhere... i tried to go to their fellowship, but literally no one was in the lecture hall when i got there. by then i was just kinda annoyed about it so i just said "screw this" and headed right back to my dorm without going to ABSK or AACF... maybe i'll just stick with one of the two... i haven't even stuck around long enough with either to be able to make a sound judgment.

however, perhaps the main reason why i decided to stay at UCD over the weekend even when jon was going home was so that i could attend church in davis on sunday. we have been to exactly 1 church 1 time out of, well, the start of the school year. i want to change that. i remember george telling me how being a christian isn't just about you and God, it's about daily meeting with other christians to help each other and support each other. that's why i'm sticking here. i mean, i don't even really know of any christians on this campus besides the ones i met in high school.

found this one website advertised at UC Davis in the MU area... check it out on the left... it'll enable you to search for clubs on UCD campus... maybe that'll make my fellowship looking a lot easier.

'k, i'm gonna study the word tonight. i need to think about worship again, as well as other God-related stuff. silence isn't always treasurable, but tonight i'm gonna make it that way.
NBA all-star weekend's this well, weekend... excited? i am. T-Mac, Yao Ming, KG and MJ better be lighting it up.

more to add later, when i have more time and ideas of what to talk about.

this is gonna be a good weekend... i WILL go to church in Davis... i'm serious about this. even if i have to run. then go back and watch the all-star stuff while doing some work.

tetris challenged eh, mandy? i'd rather work on my puzzle fighter skills. game's not as balanced, but it's a lot more complex. and fun.

Philosophy of Biology teacher's not exactly that good... said he was gonna post the next paper topic online by feb 5, and I DON'T SEE IT! (the only reason why i'm still taking this class is cause i can't drop it by now and so far i've been doing good; at least the TA makes us think; wasn't the point of philosophy to think creatively, instead of just listening to dumb-ass lectures and all?)

i never learn from my mistakes... why, oh why?

lesse, i think i'll go eat after my last class, then some work(thinking chem lab, maybe some math hw), worship, maybe jump program? then eat, fellowship, shower, turn in for the night.... i think i'll go w/that.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

(comment concerning my song)

"i finally got to listen to it.. MAD SKILLLLLSSS!!!!!!


<3,
mandy"

haha... nice... thanks.

me: hey jerm
jerm: sup
me: can you do me a favor?
jerm: sure.. que es?
me: fill out a survey for me... won't take too long... it's for my language and identity class
me: after you're done, just save the file i'm gonna send over and just send it back
jerm: k
jerm: k
(ReCharred) wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\ReCharred_Sigh\My Documents\Work-related material\Survey.txt.
(jerm) received C:\Documents and Settings\ReCharred_Sigh\My Documents\Work-related material\Survey.txt.
jerm: darnit
jerm: i got #1 wrong already hehe
me: haha
jerm: i answered. england
me: were you checking to see whether you were right? :-)
me: it's a survey, it really doesn't matter
me: if you want i can explain what i would've said after you finish
me: since you don't have to put your name on it, it's not like everyone at UCD's gonna go, "oh, this here (jerm)'s such a joke"
jerm: lol.. well it said in the US but i said england
jerm: and englands not a state
me: oh, haha

jerm: does Chinglish cou(n)t as a language?
heh heh heh heh

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

*gasp* y'kno that MV girl who went to christian club at MVHS with me, but we didn't know each other's names? she called me by my first name! (actually, i knew her name the whole name, just that i didn't wanna call her by her name if she didn't know mine) i guess that means next time we meet i have to call her by her name! (if you listen closely i almost never refer to others by their name unless if i'm REALLY comfortable talking around them in person, i dunno if i should stop this, it's just part of what i am) geez, i sound like the biggest loser in the world :)

i think around 1:00 PM me and jon watched some nba short documentary on the '97 Bulls... it was neat, but i wondered if maybe they should've did the documentary on the '98 Bulls, cause that was the one which Jordan hit the outside shot at crunch time in the Delta Center, winning the championship for the Bulls. it's all good though... ykno now i wish i had recorded all the final matchups with the Bulls Vs. Jazz and vise versa on tape... back then i was too young to really comprehend how bball was, i just thought it was a buncha dunking and 3-pt shots. i would LOVE to watch how the young MJ played defense and offense. i mean, he WAS the best bball player, so why not learn watching how he played? some of the clips they showed of him were just sick... goes under the rim with three guys on him and lays up on the other side. or the other where he pulls up at the rim, a guy gets in his face, he manages to pivot his entire body about 90 degrees in the air and make a short-range shot on the other side... sick. and some of his assists.

btw, watching that documentary got me thinking, wouldn't it be funny to have a short documentary on a team on olympic curling? how funny would that be? think: slow mo, up-close shot of broom sweeping in front of the stone... dramatic voice: would the US rise to the occasion? or would they just slick off like last winter olympics? they had been defeated by Germany before, now the game was in Atlanta, home court advantage... etc. just thinking about that got me a huge laugh.

k, i'm going... gonna eat, then some studying, maybe some guitar, then relax for the night. i'm making up for the fact that i got a larger callus on my left thumb doing quarter circle forward motions than i got playing guitar yesterday. God, please give me inspiration when i play; it's perhaps the best way i have of worshipping you. maybe i should dedicate my guitar time to God before each session?
brought my late sleep timing on myself again... it's 1:18 AM and i haven't gone to sleep yet... that's bad for myself... the plus side is that i have only 1 class, which i prob don't even need to go to... the problem is, will i get up extremely late again and waste my time? i pray not...

the only ppl on my AIM buddy list right now who are up are the socal girls... "Sleepless in LA" i bet... prob not the case next morning though

bored? wanna sample full-length tracks to Sanctus Real? click here

sanctus real-say it loud... hits stores feb 11...
twelve stones- self-titled album... already out
spot rock tour- features sanctus real(!), relient k, john reuben, superchick, pillar... a whole bunch of christian bands which are high quality... damnit it's going on everywhere except Davis.

i almost forgot sanctus real is still a punk rock band... it's only after trying to play their songs that i realized that you essentially need the same 4 power chords for each song... it still sounds better than a majority of the other stuff out there.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

i can't remember the last time i had this much time to do whatever i wanted in UCD, but here it is, and jon's not in the room... i'm busting out my guitar and worshipping you God... thank you for setting this time up for me, i really appreciate it.
i'm such a fool...

i'm here thinking that jon brought his own troubles upon himself, then God sarcastically told me ,"what type of christian friend are you?" that got me thinking, "oh no... I haven't been sharing the reason why i find joy in christ to him" well, i praise you God for that thought... i will take it upon myself to be more vocal about my joy in you... maybe it'll spread to him... maybe i'll get more thoughts from you like this if i just spent more time in QT more often.
i love Sanctus Real and 12 Stones so much now... did i say that before? yeah, i did huh... oh well... i like too many of their songs, which means only one thing... i am going to buy their CDs... bob, if i find out i don't like the rest of the CD songs, i'll donate it to the church... or we could just chip in together and buy a new Sanctus Real CD... i would compare them to Relient K, but richer in sound... they even got some awards once according to data on their website. and it's prob very cheap, like $10(i remember from last time that 12 Stones was $12) i should bust out my guitar and play their songs... such encouraging words.

i can't remember the last time i liked secular rock... almost all the rock songs that i'm liking now concentrate on God... and that's a good thing... screw the secular world for not opening their eyes to what is definitely beautiful music. seriously, i can't remember the very first time that i went back to cupertino, flipped to 104.9 or 105.3 and got fed up with what i was hearing.

i feel so joyful today... got my math hw done early... and awesome christian rock is filling my ears at the moment... meanwhile jon's knocked out... again... not gonna bust out my guitar just yet out of courtesy(and playing w/headphones would be difficult to appreciate).

Monday, February 03, 2003

i didn't really get a lot of time to do some bible study tonight, so i just looked at one-two verses and pondered them... while listening to sanctus real- audience of one, i came across:

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. -Psalm 9:1-2

"it's time to turn this thing around... you and i will be alright, if there's nothing more to come... cause the more i know i sing tonight for an audience of one" went the song...

how true... yeah God, I want that to be instilled on my heart, that i might constantly praise God, tell of your wonders, be glad, rejoice in you, and sing tonight to an audience of one... you alone...

it's gonna be a great day... screw what the others around me always think
letting the christian rock spirit in me loose...

the more i listen to songs from Sanctus Real- Say It Loud(that's their album name) and 12 Stones' self-titled album the more i wanna buy both... sanctus is some of the best punk rock i've ever heard for christian rock, 12 stones is one of the best hard rock bands EVER, not to mention they're christian... i'm serious. btw, one of 12 Stones' songs is going to be on the Daredevil soundtrack i think it was ... maybe this'll be their big break?

some new discovered Sanctus Real songs that i really like:
Audience of One(good in and out, prob my fave Sanctus Real song next to Say It Loud)
Sink Or Swim(good in the middle)
Captain's Chair
you can hear the full-length tracks at www.sanctusreal.com

me: so what have you been doing?
mandy: playing too much
mandy: hehe
mandy: so today was kinda a sit down and read/study/hw day
mandy: as is tomorrow
me: sounds un-berkeleyish
mandy: haha
mandy: i know
mandy: horrible
mandy: HORRIBLE!

everytime i hear a really good christian punk rock song it makes me wish there was a bassist and drummer in UCD that were as passionate for creating praise songs for God by jamming... maybe i'm just not looking hard enough.... but then again, i dunno how and where to start. mandy suggests ABSK, so i'll think of that.
pitiful... that some may find college to be desolate... you just don't know where and how to find joy, do you?

i was originally gonna try reading for my philosophy of biology class, until i found out i would need to cover 70 pages before tomorrow... aack! at that rate, i'll just skim some here and there and take good notes at the lecture instead!
www.thexstation.com... it's a christian rock station... i'll look into it later... right now i gotta type...
grr... wut crap... my site won't update... this is a test... if this pops up... then my site will have been updated once again, if not, then maybe blogspots DO have a limit...
i was bored, so i reorganized the left section of my site... check it out, should be a bit easier to navigate now... i was gonna put something down for real name, expertise, and hobbies like those guys using xanga, but i figured it's useless... you can honestly already figure out what i like by what i listed on the left and as for real name... heh heh.

i feel so bad... our electrodes for our chem lab experiment wouldn't function, so the TA suggested just joining another group... all both of us did was copy notes... felt like i've done no work and got data for free... like i just mooched off of someone... oh well, it'll rub off.

...back to studies...

... wut crap...

Sunday, February 02, 2003

why does some of the songs playing on air1 sound so much better than when i dl them for sampling?

here's the two that concern me:
Jeremy Camp- Understand(album: stay)
Paul Coleman Trio- Run(album: new map of the world)

understand sounds like 3 doors down(slightly), run just sounds tight... BUT! dl them and they sound SOOO SLOW!

(a few minutes later)

you can screw what i said about jeremy camp- understand, i found the song i was looking for... damn my mouth for opening before my brain operates
# of ppl i know who use xanga to post thoughts... maybe 5-6?
# of ppl i know who use blogspot to post thoughts... maybe 2

yeah... that's just some random thing i realized...

# of ppl who just type short and sweet on their thinking sites... maybe 2(3 if you count me)

instead of having a drudgery attitude towards work and then having an urgent attitude towards computer gaming, perhaps i turn that around and have an urgent attitude about work and worship first? i mean, if i really want to get it done, perhaps i just set it as my first priority?
someone from CTCC please keep me accountable... i wanna do this 9:00 rule on myself for real... and also try to really get into church @UCD... if you don't know what i'm talking about ask, and if you do good... pray for that.

mandy's got a xanga site going on... interesting... one more girl to see how she talks on an online journal... most girls' online journals just RAMBLE on and on... i'll put it on my site later if i am interested.

can you believe that chem lab carbon copy notebooks will only last you through part of 2nd quarter? geez, gotta buy another one.

d.c.short,c.fierce/\sj.jab,sj.short,sj.up.forward,strong air throw,air shinkuu hadoken... the shiznit reset air combo for XvSF Ryu... it's too good... 1/2 a bar of life gone right there(you can do a similar kickass combo w/Sabretooth, except do sj.strong instead of sj.up.forward, and Berzerker Claw X instead of air shinkuu hadoken)
also, my other fave combo of the game:
d.c.short,c.forward,c.fierce-->spin drive smasher,c.short(OTG),s.roundhouse/\sj.jab,sj.short,sj.strong-->cannon drill w/ XvSF Cammy... also 1/2 life... if you can do it in the corner

Friday, January 31, 2003

i will figure out how to wash and dry my own clothes and this time WRITE DOWN the instructions before i stay more than 2 weeks in UCD... i think i forgot how to. i haven't even opened my detergent stuff yet.

i had no idea this was chinese new year... i guess then i'll go home for this weekend.

haha... everyone's telling jon to go home... laura, dorm guys, me, even bob gave jon a go home message.
my way with sleep is erratic... it really is... i think it boils down to this:
-i WANT to go to sleep as early as possible, and wake up as early as possible
-i do the complete opposite

so that would explain why sometimes i cram, fall asleep really late, have to get up REALLY early, then attempt to struggle through the day on what is essentially 2.5 hrs' worth(happened on wed-thurs)... that's why i detest napping, waking up late, etc... you ruin SO much of your day you don't even know it... sleep has its upsides... but i'd rather stay awake. that said, i like staying awake REFRESHED. sometimes though, it's insanely hard getting my ass out of bed, which i hate myself for... i've contracted the "weng disease" :) (no, i didn't say "wu disease") i STILL get up earlier than jon though... lazy ass sleeps right to lunch. i have trouble motivating myself to get up early on days where i don't have class early... i wish i could change that.

today was a decent day... but i still can't decide whether to go home or not... when i go home on non-break-weekends, i do what i would've done here: study... and that's it... anything else i do i could also do here. it's only when i go home on breaks that i can do something worthwhile at home, and that's spend my sweet time recording songs, catching up with socal ppl, the like.

i wish my springs and summers were cupertino-mountain view weather, and that my winters and falls were davis weather... i LOVE the weather up here... it gets cold, and rains occasionally, but it does that in very light drizzles(USUALLY), and i LOVE that... i really do.

ate so many pickled jalapeno peppers and salsa on my beef taco salad yesterday that i started getting a runny nose...
[i have to admit that was high quality cafeteria food for once, cause you made it yourself, and it actually tasted like the real thing unlike some of the other things in the DC... man, now i want more taco salad]
then again, that usually happens when i'm in campbell eating a #116 at tsing tao as well(the spicy handmade noodle soup)... love spicy food...

Thursday, January 30, 2003

it's kinda interesting watching all the guys who have engineering majors in my dorm building struggle with chem 2A... (big grin)... well, chem 2B's still harder than that... way harder.

well, i got a considerable amount of work done today... praise be to that, God...

it's kinda interesting, cause i was very, very tired going to my Philosophy of Bio class, so i was praying that i would stay awake really hard, then the TA stands up and announces that the teacher was sick, so no lecture that day... we ended class right then... wow... coincidence? maybe... maybe not...
sooo tired, 2.5 hours of sleep last night(went to sleep at 2:20, woke up at 7:06, but i constantly got up in the night cause i was way too nervous about missing the chem midterm)... but i'm not gonna quit early today... gonna try my best to get as much work done.

why do ppl have these accusations about christianity without even researching the topic themselves? do they think that no one's written books concerning and countering these topics? such as the validility of the books, whether christ really died, or did ppl really see him rise?

and what's with the slander ppl? why do you post stuff that is completely false?

i've felt that any school-related problems that i have gotten are due to my own mistakes... i've really brought my own troubles upon myself. any reason why i am tired as crazy and skipping classes are because i'm going to sleep very late... any reason that i'm going to sleep very late is cause i'm doing my work and studies way too late. any reason why that's happening is cause i'm playing CS and capcom games when i'm supposed to be doing work. well, not any more... gonna break the cycle and do something right this time.
here's some dorm room irony for you:

jon was listening to some fob music that had the lyrics "i only wanna be with you" in it... i was listening to Superchic- Barlowe Girls, and about the same time i heard in my headphones "but i know for sure it's not easy to be pure... no girl should have to trade her body for love"

i stick in this for the long run... so i'm gonna plant my feet firmly in and never stop rushing at my problems... i WILL finish
i'm beginning to truly understand the reality that we only bring our own downfall upon ourselves... it's no one's fault but ours... i'll explain later... because of my own sins of laziness, i need to study for a chem test that is going down 7:30 AM later, and i haven't even finished taking notes on 4 sections...

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

i'm sorta like O_O right now... my mind's blank, so i'm finding it hard to finish my essay, which is pretty much 1 paragraph from being done! think about that... 1 PARAGRAPH!

soo much work to do today and tomorrow... got a test for chem which i stopped studying for about 2-3 chapters short... and a paper(which i was talking about previously) that i am THIS close to being done but can't for some weird reason. and i STILL have some reading to catch up with.

louis' xanga site has this annoying techno music... drives me sorta insane... :)

there is so much i want to do, but can't cause of school work. like for instance, songwriting, posting up my previously written song, tab and lyrics, redoing "Unknown to the World" with better sound... returning extra cables and plugs back to RadioShack... thinking more about the lesson on worship... spending time w/God...

haha... i remember hearing "Only a God Like You" from Mustard Seed Ministries' friday fellowship on campus! too bad i missed going to the cafeteria so it closed, that's why i had to jog PAST it to Jack In The Box for some grits.

btw, i dunno how we're ever gonna try going to church... jon doesn't seem to bring his vehicle to UCD anymore(just his friend driving his Lexus now), so i dunno... i'm gonna hafta sprint to church? :) of course i could just ask for a ride from the fellowship guys, but so far we haven't even started really LOOKING! what does that tell you about us?

ok, my funk is sorta going away... back to writing... no, actually, going away to take a crap, THEN write...

Monday, January 27, 2003

KJ-52... Rise Up... this is a great christian hip-hop song... if you've ever heard the blurbs w/KJ-52 on air1, this is the background music playing... again, i gotta say it, it's a great song, though it may get a bit monotonous in lyrics, you'll get the message behind it very quickly :)... wish it had more lyrics, but it's a good song. go to www.kj52.com if you can't hear the lyrics that clearly.

i have a glitchy X-Men Vs. Street Fighter game... 1 super combo when done correctly takes off 90% of the opponent's life. think it's version 1. but it's all good, i love playing it.

Saturday, January 25, 2003

the grass may always be greener on the other side, but where there's troubles, you get strengthened and gain experience... think about that the next time things suck for you.
so i glance at mandy's AIM profile, then at jerm's, then talk w/jerm:

me: chocolate fast now?
me: or is that just mandy? :-)
jerm: i forget what i told mandy hehe
jerm: so i'm fasting it too lol

haha :D

????
\ /
o_O
this christian's coming back... yesterday i attended a fellowship(which i have NOT been attending anything christianish in davis since december); i just felt awesome during the praise session, although i think chinks and caucasians have different senses of humor... there were some things they said that i just couldn't see as being funny... :) didn't seem to concentrate that hard on biblical basis though... still, we see how david was a witness during his work. also, he put God's word over whatever God planned. as for the actual praise stuff, it's always been that different Christians have different ways of worshipping(i need to keep enforcing this thought in my head, cause i had reservations about how some of the others worshipped, how they looked weird, but that means i have sinned, i need to stop thinking what others are doing and what i am doing)... i need to be more physical about my worship... although i was bobbing my head, i should've been bouncing to the beat, something i commonly do alone... i can't really put my thoughts into words, since a lot of it was visual.

God, if you're reading this, help me to concentrate my worship on you and not to get distracted by those around me... this is 1o1... keep reminding me of this.

i still can't believe they selected Vince Carter as a starter for the all-star team; he hasn't been playing for most of the season right now, and MJ didn't make it... that guy has been pulling a lot more than Vince. also, i question whether Yao should have been a starter over Shaq... sure he's tall and been doing pretty impressively... but right now he doesn't have that much experience... of course i don't really like Shaq, but really, it's the truth... Shaq has a lot more experience than him. go KG! (and T-Mac, AI, and Jermaine O'Neal)... i like the tall guys of the west(i like those that can block, rebound and shoot over you :D), but i will be rooting for the east during this game cause i don't like Kobe... damn LA'er has an attitude problem.

no jordan... don't retire... me, mike, and jerm wanna see you make a comeback and take back your NBA champion crown!

this will be a tough day, but one with fun... all in all always remembering the one who created it... help me.

Thursday, January 23, 2003

sonic flood's "write your name upon my heart" is definitely one of the coolest worship songs i've ever heard... recently.

God above
in you i live and breathe
and you will always be
Son of God
i owe my life to you
your promises are true

your love goes on and on forever

write your name upon my heart
burn your word into my mind
make a temple outta this body
may your spirit move inside
i have wandered through the valley
i have wondered who i am
you have come to make your mark
so write your name upon my heart

God above
the first the last the same
all glory due your name
Jesus
it's you i adore
Lamb of God and Savior

all my heart and all its strength
are your possession yours forever
how glorious to wear your precious name
random fact; almost all of socal's water comes from northern califonia, from us norcalers... think about that the next time you think socal's the total shiznit. it's not, for sheezy mah neezy.

some of the ppl who try out for american idol just don't get it... they want to hear you sing, not imitate a boy band or christina aguiliera... don't you frikkin get it? seriously, just go and record yourself singing and see how you sound. and what's the deal with the detroit ppl praying for devine intervention here? that's total taking of God for granted; serves you right if you don't make it, treating God like a genie. granted, i would never try out for that, cause i don't just sing, i also play my electric guitar. but even if i did, i sound too flat... no vibrato, no strength coming from my stomach out... it's all in my throat, like the rock vocalists and hip-hoppers.

more AIM dialogue memories:

*i see joe online, so i try to talk to him; here's what happens*
me: joe!
(insert joe's AIM id here) signed off at 4:52:59 PM.

:D happened almost immediately too

i still think wes saying "it'll just brighten your gay" is hilarious...
(wes on the lakers)
wes: its like what mike said..its shaq kobe and 3 guys from the Y

me: eddie griffin: "you mean the NBA instituted the 3-pt shot to give white boys a chance?"
wes: hahaha
wes: black guys can hit it too
me: that's true
wes: just not many white guys taking it hard to the rack
me: but white boys can't do much anything else eh? :-)
wes: cant jump
wes: cept for bird...hes a bleached black man
me: hahaha

wes: if u guys stay inside all the time, your be depressed
wes: at least go to the cafeteria and play cards
(i explain why i don't need to)
wes: hehe at least take walks outside
me: i do, don't worry... had to jog to blockbuster to return "undercover brother" :-)
wes: it'll just brighten ur gay
wes: haha whoops
wes: day*
me: hahahah
me: you just cracked me up

Wednesday, January 22, 2003

currently, right now almost everyone on my CTCC list is away. on AIM.

i've got this essay to type tonight... and still have to return undercover brother to blockbuster tonight... sigh... i should really start my projects much earlier. but it's so hard to motivate myself. i have a hard time making the most of the every moment i've got. so easy to play games on my laptop. it's like i've got problems... i really need to "say it loud, say it out and loud, forget about, forget about last year, stop wishing it were backwards, it is now or never"

looking at bob's blog makes me wonder why i didn't dedicate a blog to Martin Luther King Jr. so i'll just write some quick blurb up. the man deserves more credit than he gets each year. he used to be a preacher. and his christian principles trickled down into how he fought to combat racism... hate the sin, not the man, so he disobeyed the law because he knew it was wrong, but refused to attack the white man. he recognized the power of love, and saw how hearts needed to be changed, not punished. and what happened was amongst the ways the black man could combat the unfairness around them(submit, full-force disobey, or disobey, but not strike back), this strategy worked the most, it even brought sympathetic white people to his cause.

can't believe we eat the most super bowl sunday. well, maybe we do, considering john tang's super bowl party. GO RAIDERS! just don't burn anything down, for crying out loud!

yeah, that's right, about time judges put a stop to this runaway sue-everyone-for-my-own-problems mess! check out this link!

alright, i'm gonna eat, then lots to do tonight. my mind's blank, so typing up gibberish just wastes my time.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

i did not need that y-branched 1/4" cable or the stereo coupler... i hope i can return both, cause i opened both. aside from that, it's all good. i can play on both the laptop and the amp, and they'll both get picked up. what you do is connect electric guitar to 1/4" cable to amp through the input slot. then connect another 1/4" cable out of the output slot(i always wondered where you used that for... i tried it once during church worship practice and found out it didn't work too well, but here it's fine), to a 1/4"-1/8" adapter, to the laptop. so it's all good. only prob is that when i record bass w/wes, that i can't play along without my guitar getting picked up as well.

lex luthor does NOT cross over to the dark side this tuesday's episode! what type of bs is that?

we got the funk... we got the funk... hah hah hah hah :D i should dl that song... so addictive...

johnny english looks like a funny movie... hah hah... rowan atkinson...

talk later... got to... talk and work :)
hooo man... "undercover brother" is sooo friggin funny! seriously one of the most funniest movies i've ever seen. white people are definitely not going to be happy that i said that :)

i think though the main comedy of the movie doesn't go to eddie griffin, but dave chapelle... that guy IS funny. don't wanna give too much away, but one of the funniest things he said during the movie was

"(he was talking about the white man) don't you know they invented the 3-pointer to give the white man a chance?"

let's see if the stuff i bought today will be worth it... i bought something that might help me connect the guitar to the laptop AND the amp. will try it out tonight

weird to say this, but now every time i think of blockbuster video, i will think of davis... i got my membership card here, and it says so on the card. like a remember of where i've been.

when i talked about "undercover brother" with laura she went "oh, martin lawrence, hehe" :) those UCLA white ppl :)

i thought about the fruit-veggie "bittermelon" today at the DC... i remember justin's dad once telling me how bittermelon has a weird sense of sweet flavor to it... and i thought about that... while it's got this nasty upfront bitter taste, if you can ignore that you can taste this hint of sweetness that you don't find anywhere else... he said that's what some people call the "5th dimension of flavor" ie we have 4 different tastes; sweet, sour, salty, bitter. and that got me thinking about how most people will dislike the bittermelon taste when they're young... that was the case with me... but when you grow older, you mature, and are more willing to take stuff... that's when you redive in, and discover what no one else discovers.

and that's the way it is with christianity sometimes... maybe at your young age you rejected it, found it too shallow, or too mechanical, or concentrated way too much on rules. but you grew older, dived back in, and after surviving hardships found the sweetness of it... it's interesting... it's like the biblical phrase "taste and see that the Lord is good."

talk to me... unless you want me to shut up, cause i need to write some.
the rabbit hole just keeps getting deeper the more i spend in college(AIM me if you don't get what i'm talking about);

today's lesson: there are subliminal messages in disney films way too much; go and watch any of their anime; you'll often see(or should i say, hear) how the good guys are portrayed as americans, and the bad guys portrayed as someone else(or some other race). supports that radical statement of how disney's gay... gay indeed(pardon my language)

break down my barriers God; change my heart.

Monday, January 20, 2003

so much work to do....

here's a list:
POB 1 page paper: due tue
math hw: due wed
LAI 3-5 page paper: due thur
math test: fri
chem lab: due fri

on top of that there's the reading i always have to do...

can't talk too much... always too much to do... at least for this week.

thank God for RadioShack... found that 1/4" to 1/8" adapter that i've been wanting to get... it's this dinky little thing, but i think it'll really help when i record... it's even gold plated! :) i bet if i looked around more, i'll be able to find the stuff necessary to connect my electric guitar to both the laptop AND the amp.

is it wrong for a christian to take a biology course which discusses evolution? they don't downplay christianity, but it's obvious they don't give it a good look... the only reason christianity-wise i guess to take it would be so that i could see where evolutionists are coming from.

Friday, January 17, 2003

managed to kill 4 in a row w/no hs in iceworld using a bullpup in one round, and survived for the next one... nice. got the most disruptive and best score award for that round too. i saved a pic, but it got messed up, so this is probably the only validation of that thought. crazy how i just scoped one after the other sniping them out.

non-linguists must be so annoyed at the creation of the internet... it's made the written english language look so informal and like, bad. :)

come back, do some study and work on my 2 papers, buy some recording equipment, start jump program, etc... it's all one big blur. it'll be fun though.

life is one big mystery... those who rush through it are told to slow down... those who take it easy are told to go faster and be adventurous... what ppl want you to do is be plain :) but for me, my entire life's satisfaction lies with God; as long as i'm awestruck/content, i am totally ok with life.

has anyone else noticed how a relationship with God causes you to be even more awestruck at the simplest things he creates or gives to you? or what he is? or are all you just sad and depressed people? i can't remember the last time i started liking rain/wind/fog, and yet here i am giving praise to God for it. i can't remember the last time i relished solitude, but here am i liking it more and more.

anyways, i'll write later... my mind's sorta blank right now.

Thursday, January 16, 2003

according to jon, the new CS mod file comes out today, so i'm expecting internet connections at Davis to be slower than usual. sometime it will occur, given the mod's prob about 100+ MB in size, and how many youth guys play CS.

i'll mainly be concerned with studying though, so no worries, well, maybe... if they're still dling at night, the time when i'm supposed to be free.
around 10:30 PM, 1/16/03:

INSPIRATION(big, wide ass grin spreading over my mind right now)...

sometimes the lyrics and melody you just wanna get out come to you at the weirdest of times. it's too bad that i don't remember exactly what i thought up(or for that matter God told me), but the important thing for me was that i got the chorus down. it was surprisingly easy to think up. it's gonna be fun recording and writing down this worship song that was stuck in my head. it's gonna be very fun. just that i won't start actually recording

now i know what is necessary for writing a good worship song; the lyrics just need to apply to everyone. so lay off freestyling, or talking about davis, or talking about guitar or bass or stuff, and concentrate on what a congregation would think. it's that simple. i can't believe i didn't think of that. also, don't get too showy with the instruments when you're singing, though you have tiny breaks to do that.

think i know what i need to buy now:

http://www.hosatech.com/product_page_insert.html
http://www.amusicdirect.com/products/detail.asp?sku=AGRAMINCAB

something like that. it's all good.

it's late... write more tomorrow

Tuesday, January 14, 2003

super puzzle fighter 2 turbo is SO FRIGGIN fun! well, if you have the credits to play enough of it to get better at it.

how do you guys control your time?

i... will... not... be... overwhelmed... by... the... pressures... of... college... life... because... i... am... totally... above... this!

btw, can anyone tell me what separates a christian rock song from a contemporary worship song? because i want to create a latter one, but dunno what separates them. supposedly it's easier to play/sing and follow along as a congregation, but what about the lyrics and the melody? any help here?

me: damn! 1st 2 times i've gotten a multi-kill!
sam: thats cool
sam: yea i saw you nail like...4 guys in the 1st or 2nd round
me: haha
sam: and i was followin gyou running
sam: and i just saw you shoot
sam: and then your name pops up on the top
me: haha
sam: and then shoot some more
... aw shoot i log in and forget what i was gonna type... oh yeah, it's coming back to me:

NINERS LOSE TO BUCCANEERS! so sad. all i can do now is root for Raiders.

Jon's recently been losing faith(well, not falling away, it's more like losing motivation to soak up life) and hope in Davis... he gets up SO late now, and always goes to bed when he's not doing stuff, even reluctant to do work... another lost christian in college, who lost true happiness... have faith man, have faith...

strange how we never really realize how talking's louder than singing... ditto w/me... until you start freestyling then mixing it with some vocals and go "waitaminute... my rapping totally overpowers my singing!" maybe i'll just have to scream-sing my lyrics :)
in any case God hears ya... don't matter how you worship God, just that you do it with all your heart and concentrating solely on him. "but God, i would truly like a drum set to back me up :)"

i WILL figure out the chords to Psalm 23 by the end of this week! i WILL! which indirectly means i WILL worship this week... it is such a tight worship song when played fast... kinda short though...

must get scholarship form filled out by this week! i procrastinate about it like... like... oh who am i kidding... like myself.

will start jump program soon... MUST start that soon.

you'll never take away my inner contentment... you'll never take away my joy... it's like kj-52 said, happiness lasts only a bit, but joy will always last forever(oh yeah he sounds totally black when he talks, whereas he's more eminem-ish when he freestyles)

i'm out... no really i am...

Sunday, January 12, 2003

Today's sermon @harvest.org... here's the notes that I took:

He Believed
-Genesis 12-13

4 steps of ceramics:
-deciding which clay to use
-taking apart the clay, cutting it
-molding the clay
-baking the clay, displaying us

examples:
-Abraham
-Gideon
-Joshua

God wants to bless you, but you have to be willing to change

God detaches yourself from the world
-think of what Abraham had to do to get close to God
-it was BY FAITH that Abraham made his home as an alien in the promised land

God has to develop us
-we have to be tested
-when Abraham didn't trust God, it led to trouble, such as when he travelled down to Egypt
-God doesn't allow things to happen to you without his consent
-Believe means to: trust in, rely on, cling to

God displays us
-Gen 13: Ppl want to do what they wanted first, so Lot instead of being subservient chose first instead of putting his faith in God, and what satisfied his own flesh ended up destroying him
-Lust-> Sin-> Death
-God will give those who follow him EVERYTHING
i don't think that Psalm 23 song me and jon heard at "college life" was a "college life" specific song; Everyone @harvest.org just played that exact same song today, except slightly slower, take a look at the lyrics(i will listen back sometime later this week and figure out the chords):

Psalm 23
--------
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies
You anoint my head with oil
And my cup it overflows
With love, peace and joy
With love, peace and joy

Surely goodness and mercy and follow me
All the days of my life,
All the days of my life
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever, forever, forever, amen
Forever, forever, forever, amen

also, it was sweet listening to Everything That Has Breath with a loud bass guitar backup... and good, loud drumming, this is what i miss so much about doing worship solo.

Saturday, January 11, 2003

www.engrish.com.... for those times you need to see azns screw up the english language like you never believe(it's also been added to my fave links on the left)... just take a look at the front page.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

overall, this is what i gather from wes, bob, and jerm's critiques of my song, "Unknown to the World"

-i need to mix my vocals better; sometimes it's harsh, sometimes it's really soft; granted if i freestyle very fast(don't worry, it's not bust a rhymes fast), you won't be able to tell what i'm saying, but at the very least my volume level should remain the same... clipping's BAD.
-i should place my songs, lyrics and tabs somewhere on the internet(i'm so lazy... i had one started beforehand, why can't i motivate myself to keep it up?); would make it dling stuff a LOT easier for others
-wes can help w/bass(not really a critique, but cool nevertheless)
-wes also suggested asking river of life... they're planning on creating a cd of people's songs, and obviously they'd have better recording equipment than me
-i might really want to consider buying a stereo adapter, it would make the bass more clear... it would make everything a lot more clear. if you see any for reasonable prices, lemme know! i heard radio shack might have these, but i'm pretty sure guitar center might have something too(though it'd probably be a LOT more expensive)... also if i'm getting that, a cable that branches off to 2 parts would be nice too(that way i can hook to my amp AND my computer).
-maybe for future songs i harmonize with myself?
-2 words: live drums :)

it's too bad laura's com is effed over... she can't hear my .mp3 :( oh well, when in doubt, go live :)
i have never seen an NBA team work the other so hard than of tonight, esp considering how both of them before the game had the same record and one of them was #1 in the east conference:

Kings beat Nets on their home court 118-82; at one point of the game it was even(very near the beginning), then the Kings pulled away and just kept on pulling... most of the game they were up by 30+... at one point they were up by 47 pts. damn. Bibby worked Kidd. everyone on the Kings was clicking and landing their shots... all the Nets were missing like crazy. at one point we get this alleyoop from Divac to CWebb. goes to show how the east has no rebounding. none at all. all the tall guys are in the west. GO KINGS!

what was funny though was since wes doesn't have cable, i narrated the entire game to him on AIM. i would start posting the score, time left, who had the ball, who scored and how, etc.

i never realized how being outside and drenched in the rain looking to the sky makes me so awed of God's glory and his marvelous creations... most ppl don't like the rain and so hate it, but i could stand outside and look on in the most awe ever... it's beautiful. it really is. does your gratefulness in God make you stand more in awe of everything he creates and has created? i think so.


Wednesday, January 08, 2003

added some more links at my links section, for your pleasure.
me: i just dled the yao ming song
norm: you should play it over and over
norm: to annoy jon
me: hahah
me: i haven't told him yet...
me: i'll play it back twice in a row and tell you how he reacts
norm: no
norm: 4 times
me: haha...
me: uh, he doesn't look like he cares
me: .... maybe i didn't play it back enough
norm: louder
me: he can hear it alright
me: hahhah
me: he's leaving the room
me: i think i did annoy him
norm: hehe
norm: high five
me: high five

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

hehe... the yaoming song sounds so annoying... makes me actually crack up... close to 2 min of just hearing some chorus of "yao ming" over and over...
haha... norm's totally right... socal ppl ARE weaksauce. you don't know what's cold until you've done what i've done: jump into a swimming pool and swim for 2 hours... during the winter in the pouring rain for every weekday... or go to my house and live there during the winter. THAT'S cold. my mom absolutely refuses to use the heater AT ALL, not to mention my house naturally blocks out heat, so i go to sleep sometimes shivering curled up in a ball(and even then, i just wear a t-shirt and gym shorts then, with plenty of blankets). strange how i wake up fine, not sniffling or with a cold. maybe God's just blessed me in this area, i mean, i'm skinnier than a lot of other ppl, so i should be shivering more than others.... something about that, AND formally being on the swim team has perhaps made me more resistant to cold than most of my friends... sometimes i wonder if i'm iceman, cause bobby drake was resistant to cold :) thanks God. i know i wish i could have more at times, being human, but whenever i count my blessings, i rise up in praise. that's amazing.

in my weakness, you are glorified. in my weakness, you make me strong.
("this gives me strength *lost my wealth kept my hide they can't take away my faith only ruin my pride* the fact that i can rise")
sorry, i just had to quote myself, couldn't resist :)

MXPX going to be @UCR... i dunno when though.

i still can't believe louis hit some car w/jon's jaguar... hehehehe
funny saying i heard colin mockery(that how you spell his name?) said on "who's line is it anyway"

... it was the one where they have the actors act out bad blind dates, given props to work with.

colin put on a sailor's hat and just stared at the camera until cut to him, then focused on him.

*long pause*

"all hands on dick!"

:) :) :) :) :)

i was dying...

ok, from now on i go to sleep at 11:30 latest, and wake up 6:45 everyday... it's the only way...

Monday, January 06, 2003

strange how jerm looks all over the local area to buy a Gravis Pro gamepad, and yet i find it instantly when i return to to the bookstore to buy books for my elective classes. i wonder if he's still intent on actually buying it for me, cause if it he is, i could just show him the receipt and have him reimburse me. all in all it's a pretty good gamepad for my laptop(say hello to street fighter and virtua fighter WITHOUT breaking some keys on my keyboard!), though i think it's sometimes hard to hit the diagonals.

... school has started, which may or may not be a good thing.

basically it boils down to:
+i can play CS and MVC1 again, and surf the web like crazy
-i can't liberally record songs(and i left my bro's drum synthesizer at home)
+i will not be bored much now
-i have to work! for what might determine my future! of course i won't be bored! i'll be freaked!

i at 10:08 currently have this hard-ass headache... i think it may have something to do with these factors:

-my hair on my head was recently cut VERY short
-there's been a bit of wind/cold in davis recently(combine that with repeatedly alternating between warm indoors and the cold outdoors, and can you spell headshock?)
-i feel slightly sleepy

but whatever... i've never taken medicine for my headaches, and don't intend to. not when i'm going to bed in about an hour or so.

can't believe i couldn't find 2 books for my philosophy of biology class... what, do you guys who don't take that class just buy those books out of pure boredom?

umm... yeah...

it's all about what comes from the heart... nothing else.

Sunday, January 05, 2003

some nice songs that i like that i haven't put down(will do tomorrow):

Santana W/Michelle Branch: The Game of Love
Superchick: Barlow Girls

little critique of my song by jerm:
-shrill at some places
-freestyling and singing part was cool, but i should work on making them blend together better(ie volume and stuff like that)

he still likes it though, so that's a plus... got a lot to think about...
i just checked my grade summary: A, B, B. thus, it's not a bad start, but obviously i've got to work harder. i will go to sleep early, wake up early each day, God willing. hopefully, that'll help me study better.

back in UCD, so expect my blog recordings to pick up speed again.

i guess i'll start with this: GO NINERS! damn, whadda game... whadda game... it was pretty much up to the Giants to muck it up for them to win it... the game was admittedly in their hands... go Garcia! get ready for Tampa Bay, and study up Defense, or you're not going to stop them!

i finished recording my first song, Unknown to the World! anybody want it for a free DL, you hit me up on AIM!

i'll comment on what Bob wrote to me:

"Can God sin? As a matter of fact, this is actually a
nonsensical question because of the very definition of
sin. Sin is all that is apart from God - apart from
His nature, apart from His character. The question is
in the same vein as "Can dark be light?" God is NOT
able to sin any more than I am able to become an
eggplant.

Numbers 23:18-20 - God is not a man, that he should
lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.

Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

This can be confusing because the gods portrayed in
other religions, such as in Greek or Roman mythology,
are fallible - they get drunk, they sleep with women,
they commit evil. They have no obvious allegiance to
an idea of "good", but instead just have some level of
power, and because of this, they seem to be able to
"do bad things", or what we think of as "sin". The
Christian God, on the other hand, is THE standard for
truth and for good. God's acts are purposeful to
carry out His plan for the universe, and the whole of
time and human history is for God to bring glory to
Himself. What we can be thankful for is God's
character - that His standard is all-good, and that He
has the absolute power to back up that standard."

REPLY: the very definition of God is basically an all-powerful, all-present, all-knowing being who upholds moral right justly, or something along the lines of that. what's interesting, (and you can make a case by this of how Christianity is correct, while other religions aren't) is that other gods of other religions are basically based upon what we think gods are... thus you have these powerful beings who do shameful things... sleep with other beings, are punished by other gods for crimes, and often don't care about upholding moral right. even the Jewish God is somewhat portrayed as this being who does all the things we talked about, but we don't see a tender, caring God. some of us might think "oh if i were God i would be disgusted by the filth that these humans are creating, and would happily punish them." thus, we mold our God, it's not really who God is. the Christian God portrays him as all the things we listed so far, BUT also that he cares for us and is willing to become less of what he is so that we could be joined together. the Christian God has a HUGE emphasis on love; if you've read on the specifics on the crucifixation, the whipping, and the ensurance that someone undergoing crucifixation would die, you would have to realize someone would have to be willing to do this out of love and nothing else.

"A deceptively simple question, but it opens up many
important and deep questions of theology:

Life is not a series of notations in a ledger of
"good" and "sin". God does not look upon His children
with a disapproving eye, thinking, "Hm, I'm going to
wait for Jeremy to look lustfully at that girl and
then BAM! My Son will leave him behind." The gift of
grace is given once for all (Hebrews 7:27), and those
who have accepted this gift are no longer sinners, but
instead saints who still sin.

HOWEVER... does this then mean that we have license to
sin? Not at all! Because this once for all
substitutionary grace given to us because of Jesus'
sacrifice is only evident from the other side; i.e.,
God's. This gets somewhat into the concept of
predestination, which is a fascinating topic if people
don't get too heated or passionate. A short summary
as to how it applies here:

God knows who His people are, and have known since
before He created them. These people will be and are
"saved". However, since we are human, we live within
the scope of time and space, we live based upon what
we know - and what we know is where our heart is with
God right now. I don't know whether I'll still be
following God 10 years from now. I don't know for
ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN whether I'm within the family of
God's people. I think what's most important, though,
is to not worry about each extreme: being legalistic
to the point of paralysis about "sinning right before
Jesus comes", or to be so free and certain about my
salvation that I don't have to continue to grow my
faith. Jesus says that he is the Way, the Truth, and
the Life, and true freedom is found in him. How?

Psalm 37:4 - Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will
give you the desires of your heart.

What do we do? Delight ourselves in the Lord. Enjoy
His Word, pray, sing and make music, live lives of
faith, tell others about Him - in other words, to not
just do the things He wants us to, but to cultivate a
heart that enjoys this life. And our heart's desires
will be molded to those of God, and we draw closer to
Him as a result. This is freedom - freedom from fear,
freedom from laziness, freedom from the trappings of
this world that so easily entangle.

So what's the conclusion? Live a life of faith.
Don't be thinking about sinning and not sinning, but
instead dwell upon and delight in God and His
presence. The rest will take care of itself."

REPLY: thanks for reassuring me. perhaps the reason why this concept disturbs some Christians is this verse: "We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?(Roms 6:2)" so some might take the act of sinning as being cut off from God's family AGAIN. and i guess i have to remind myself how we shouldn't mold God into the person we want... he probably is more compassionate to us than we think. live a life of putting him in the center of your life, and you shouldn't have a problem. i remember reading "The Case For Christ" and in one part of the book Lee questions a pastor why God would confine people who don't believe in him to hell. his response? something along the lines of this: in the beginning man sins because he begins to see himself in the middle of the universe; as a result, all sorts of crimes we hear about happen: murder, adultery, rape, robbery occur. God doesn't confine others to hell because they didn't believe in him; he does it because these are the type of people who repeatedly think the world revolves around them. they refuse to give up their spot in the universe for something better. another look at it: if God took his hands off the world, we would essentially create hell.

"End-times prophecies can be fascinating and fun to
corroborate with real-world events, but I do think
there's a danger in spending too much time with it
because we can't know for sure what is being referred
to in these prophecies. Some that we think are
fulfilled may not actually be fulfilled, and others
which we think are a long way off may have already
come to fruition.

Matthew 24:36,42-44
36"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the
angels in heaven, nor the Son,but only the Father.
42"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on
what day your Lord will come. 43But understand this:
If the owner of the house had known at what time of
night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch
and would not have let his house be broken into. 44So
you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will
come at an hour when you do not expect him.

We don't know for sure. We can see some clues. But
the goal is to keep watch, and to prepare."

REPLY: i guess it is true: you can't tell for sure when the Son of God is coming back, or when we'll be pulled up towards heaven. however, there are few signs which hint that the end is coming near, aside from that, it is very vague(we can safely say that God promises that trouble will constantly escalate in magnitude for Christians until the day of judgment, and Jesus even notes how there are certain signs which HINT at what has to happen before he'll come back, though he doesn't tell the exact time when he'll be back). and even aside from these clues, we have our own individual deaths to deal with... just because sign X hasn't been fulfilled doesn't mean i can wait out some 20 some more years... what if God decides to take me early? there was this janitor who struck it rich in a Vegas casino by simply placing 1 coin in the slot machine while cleaning up, and then he died on a huge vacation trip to celebrate his winnings to a hopeful future life. i think though all of this is useless, true or not; as a Christian, do we really need to worry about the signs that hint at the coming of the end of the world? we have accepted Christ, are in his family, are walking in communion with him every day, and have a guarenteed spot in heaven. there is no need to worry about what will happen in the future, because God will take care of us each and every day.

Friday, January 03, 2003

there's so much i have done and have NOT yet done on my winter break... i'm surprised it's slipping by so fast... this sunday i'm going back up.

yes, i am going to miss my cupertino home and living area while in davis: i admit it: it's basically on 2 counts: 1)my friends... sniff 2)phil's room... for the 3 weeks that i have been at home during december, i have been just setting up and leaving all my guitar equipment, laptop and lap mic all ready to go in there... i could not do this in davis in my dorm room for security reasons, not to mention it's always very quiet in my house, ideal for recording. it's not like i cranked out a complete album this break period, but i've had substantial time to love the way that i worship God :) it's too bad that i hadn't figured out to use the drum synthesizer kit beforehand, or i would've saved having to rerecord a song and thus i could start on my 2nd one. *note to self: create fast-paced worship song before next break so that you and wes can jam together*

there's a lotta stuff that has happened this break... i'm surprised how much we've gotten together to hang out... there's too many memories for me to scratch my brain and write down... i know, i usually write everything down in great detail like Luke the doctor of the Bible, but it's all too fast.

-wed, went w/the others to TonyRoma's to celebrate Jon and Norm's bday. it's kinda funny cause Jon's so lazy he couldn't even choose where to eat that quickly... i remember taking 1 second to choose where to eat on my bday when i was asked. before that we had played bball, so that was nice *i miss being able to play bball w/the others so much, it was fun getting some hook shots in as well as a couple of blocks* *i need to find some program to up my jumping height! i really want to be able to dunk on a rim that's about the height of the one found at redwood christian park! i am SO CLOSE to being able to dunk, well, i dunno, i can just barely reach over the rim, i need maybe 6 inches more God, just 6 inches more!* i still can't believe Laura doesn't like cheese or bell peppers... dude, that's already 2 of my favorite foods!(well, uncooked red bell peppers rank pretty high amongst my favs of veggies)! well, it's cause she ordered french onion soup, and didn't know that it came with cheese... the cheddar was clotted together to the onions making it look like a huge booger(hey, i would've eaten it if i had ordered it, but i was full) lesse, we came back to mike's, and then we gave jon our presents: he got happy feet from the others, skechers from mike, and a gi-joe 2-pack w/snake eyes and cobra commander from me(i was very pleased to see that he liked my gift). we watched some espn and iron chef too(there were some jokes like the instant replay and slow-mo... what else, a pen?) those chefs are very creative... bread in soup... i'm not used to that concept though... although the steak looked nice. for me though, food's food... if you take the time to appreciate it, you'll enjoy eating almost anything... maybe that's why i can eat just about anything. oh yeah, it was funny weighing myself @mike's cause i was leaning to one side and thus shocked to see that i was 114... what, i lost THAT much weight? then i straightened up, and saw that i was 124... whew... some weird farting exhibition when nearly every socal person except norm had left... and some weird stick m&m's into my navel stuff too... haha...
-day before, we got to mike's house to celebrate new year's day... watched "she's all that": the "super size my balls" joke was funny. watched the strong-man competitions... those were... interesting... i can't really remember what we did there... a bit too shady, just TV and some stuff. i remember song recording earlier...
-monday, we just got together at lunch for some taco bell, then headed towards norm's house... we then headed to sheng kee for dinner(haha... we saw some restaurant that literally said "Phouc Nga")... since we couldn't bowl or do other stuff. haha... norm ordering in chinese was hilarious. i still can't believe the chinese word for sandwich on the menu was "san do wich" :) ordered grilled eel... that was good... i love that stuff. so at the sixers vs. warriors game, it was really good... i think we got a good game that night. noteworthy moments:
*it took a while for me to get used to not hearing any announcers, since i've never been to a bball game... it was kinda funny hearing jeremy say out loud, "why aren't there any announcers?"
*also funny was how the girls were cheering for AI and the boys were cheering for the warriors... you could just tell from listening to the crowd... i even heard a girl shout "GO Allen Iverson!" and how the crowd that cheered for the sixers sounded more feminine... not to stereotype; i like the sixers too, it's just that it was warrior territory...
*arenas flipped the bball into the air... richardson then sprinted over for an alley-oop attempt, but missed it... it was kinda funny how everyone in the arena was like "OOOOHHHH.... awwww" i think mike saw it first(he went "OOOOH!" first) cause when someone flips a ball near the top of the key, you KNOW they're attempting an alley-oop... no one shoots like that
*ok, so the announcer had some promotion deal going on where if the warriors shot over 100 pts, everyone would recieve a coupon for a free chalupa @taco bell... when we got to 99 pts norm and jerm's chants changed from "go warriors" to "chalupa!" of course, you know what we said when he shot that free throw and hit 100... :) so it was kinda funny... jerm was chanting for the warrior girls (:D), norm was chanting for the chalupa (:D), me? i was chanting for boykins (:D), who, btw...
*boykins got 10 pts... so it wasn't groundbreaking, and he didn't lead the warriors, but i was surprised... it was just fun to cheer for some guy who's THAT short... 5'5... it's like a kid playing ball w/a 30+ year old! that layup attempt+ a foul for a 3 pt conversion was SWEET... occasionally i heard "c'mon, take him(referring to A.I.) boykins!" from the crowd... haha... i was alternating between yelling "yeah boykins!" and "go number eleven!"
*jaimison hit a 1-handed dunk wide open going for a fast break point... got the entire crowd out of their seats and cheering...
*overall, i think mike summed it up when he said that there were a lot of turnovers during this game... there were a LOT of missed shots and bad passes, strips... on both teams... it was still a very good game... the warriors tried hard... dunleavy made a lot of good 3s... oh yeah, jaimison hit a 3!
-sunday, we got together @laura's house again... haha... fun, fun... and watched die hard 3(samuel l. jackson can't load an mp5navy... that's sad, oh yeah, it was funny how they were so smart solving all the riddles in the movie) as well as con air... while eating 31 ice cream... that was simplistic, but fun.

i'm gonna log off, too much talking... but here's some final thoughts...

i'm hoping that someday we(CTCC friends) can just get together and just jam... like how we've been meeting up together this break constantly and just doing stuff? imagine just getting together like that, but bringing our instruments... it's cool how we hang out and how some of us love worshipping God with our instruments... maybe i'm daydreaming about this, but maybe it's not too far out of reach? i know wes expressed to me how if i wanted some bass help for recording songs he'd help me, so maybe it's not too far out of reach...

i think i'll dl jake-army of love when i wake up... i really like that song.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

oh geez... nobody calls me to hang out this break... i'm gonna end up wasting it... either jerm's taking care of his sis @home, or, yeah... maybe i'll just call back... right after i sign off...

oh, my gawd(pushes hand downward)... like, LIKE OH MY GAWD(pushes hand downward)
(geez i hate how some teenage girls talk... and i can't believe it took me 19 years to finally jot something like this down... then again, i'm just writing what comes to mind right now)

'k, i'm signing off... i can't think... something about being home for 2 weeks w/o work to do has really numbed my thinking process... but that could be due to the fact that i'm not doing anything so there's nothing to note.

Friday, December 27, 2002

*sigh* i am so lazy getting up these days i get up at noon, so i'll make my message for thur and Xmas short so i can rise up early and praise God...

I HATE NETZERO POPUP ADS! 1 PER 10 MINUTES IS OK, BUT STOP SPAMMING ME EVERY SINGLE MINUTE! GEEZ...

ok, yesterday i went over to justin's house for dinner, which was nice... hahah... dinner at the lins'... you might get wrong impressions if you didn't know WHICH lin family i was talking about... it was very nice... sukiyaki... and then i played some cs @their house afterward. like i said before, i have the weirest CS config for movement, i don't think the 2 could figure out why i use pinky-ring-middle to move. i think i am either getting good at that game(or i should say better, i still get about a 25% kill:death ratio), or the students in the bay area suck a little. cause i got overjoyed somewhat when lotsa ppl named "Player" showed up, cause then you know they're a newbie, esp if they don't even know how to name themselves :) i should get their IP address sometime, so i can play w/them more. 2 memorable instances playing w/them:
-throw a flashbang down a tunnel, then attempt to rush in when some terrorist on my team misthrows his flashbang, and it blinds me... kinda annoyed and laughing, so i backtrack so i'm not in the line of fire, then type out "next time aim your flashbang better"... he basically threw it from behind me so that just as i was about to enter the tunnel it bounces off the arch overhead and lands at my feet
-'k, so another round... i've rushed in as a terrorist w/an ak-47, taken out 1 counter-terrorist, then guarded the bomb site so a teammate planted his C4 explosive. ...then i hear the bomb ticking faster and shriek outloud "AACCK!" (justin heard me and laughed) so i pulled out my knife(running speed's faster when you carry light weapons) and rush out, but a newbie counter-terrorist is there and starts shooting very slowly with a weak weapon at me(i know it's either weak or he's a newbie cause i was getting hit maybe 10 times in slow intervals before i died)... but i'm panicking and more interested in getting my ass out of the bomb site than shooting him down(which now reflecting if i did i would've gotten an easy kill), so i continue dumbly running straight ahead with a knife and taking the hits til i died... HAD i pulled out my AK-47 instead, i mightve gotten a kill AND still made it out

too bad the celtics got murdered by the nets... ok, it was kinda expected, since the nets are #1 in the east, but still, by a 30 pt deficit? and what... you get 38 to 1 in the 1st quarter? now that's just pathetic. but at least the kings won, on laker territory! so happy about that... down w/la! too bad i didn't watch THAT game... it was highly anticipated, and a huge rivalry feeling(fight between fox and christie, shaq calling kings "queens")... no handshakes during the tip-off. btw, this is kinda late in knowing, but i'm relieved that christie was the one who got into a fight w/fox, and not bibby... had for such a time thought it was bibby... nice... so his beliefs DO reflect how he acts on the court :) oh yeah... t-mac got some HUGE pts yesterday too! that's really nice in knowing...

btw i find it hilarious that divac's doin a "It's Crunch Time" commercial now... haven't seen it, but is it sorta like the dialogue that Shaq does? would be kinda funny... you can't really tell what either player is saying :)

ok... so Case For Christ really is a really nice read(btw happy late bday Jesus!)... it was interesting, cause one of the experts Lee Strobel interviewed in the book is this Christian pastor... who's a Jew... Lee then sidetracks from the usual immediate interview to ask him how he came from a Jew to know Christ and... it was just awesome... basically, long story summed up, the man went back into the Old Testament, read it carefully and found SO many predictions about Jesus being the Messiah, that he calls up his mom to send him a Jewish bible just to be sure Christians weren't tossing about words, and it turns out it's the exact same thing! he then goes into the New Testament and finds out Jesus is actually about Jews in the gospel! reads further, and finds out the Jews are actually the ones who tried to get the news to the Gentiles first! what's more, Lee also shows the example of another jew who is so shocked by what he finds in the old testament about Jesus that he challenges 3 rabbis to disprove this evidence, and they simply couldn't... it's really amazing... go read the book... my short schpew won't even really cover what i think right now and know from reading it...

just to end, a short conv clip w/laura that i thought was funny(and maybe it's just me):

me: plans for tomorrow?
laura: mm nope
laura: well watching a basketball game
laura: at 7
laura: but other than that
laura: nothing
laura: i dont htink
laura: i'll make a bag
laura: hehe
me: haha
me: that's cool... what type of bag?
laura: handbag
laura: haha
laura: id unno
me: what material?
laura: cloth
laura: y
laura: ya

ok, and my mouse's crapping up too, so i'll just quit right now... plans for tomorrow? read more Case For Christ, finish my song(which i have NEVER gotten around to finish recording), then see what's up... oh yeah get IP addresses for CS... etc, etc.

Monday, December 23, 2002

Unknown to the World: about say, 40% finished recording... i'm about done with the chorus and verse one, BUT need to rerecord the power chords for the chorus. guess there's a reason ppl tune down the volume during chorus. it still sounds kinda nice. might want to record some tambourines just to get a rhythum sense in there... damnit wish i could play a drum set. and/or owned one... turntables would also be nice. but when that's done, i'm concentrating on writing a worship song so that me and wes can get together and jam for it. that'll be fun.

NBA double header on Xmas day: ok, Kings better wipe the damn Lakers' asses across the floor. as for the other game... GO MUTUMBO! (and/or Paul Pierce)

what else...

The Case For Christ is starting to become a very interesting read for me. Jesus has always stated how ppl who believe without seeing are going to be more blessed than those who believe BY seeing... but it's still awesome and spellbinding how much evidence there IS of Jesus existing, of him performing miracles and of him being the Son of God that even as a believer seeing that evidence can increase your grasp of Christianity tenfold. for instance, the fact that Jewish ppl referred to Jesus as a sorceror actually means he DID perform miracles. they could not disprove that. so instead, they tried to find some other explanation for it, but of course some of the other explanations don't sound as reasonable. it's really too much to cover what i've learned... part of it would take too long for me, and part of it would also take too long on this site.

it's strange how i miss PART of Davis, though it almost has to completely do with the high speed internet access part: watching VF movies and playing CS... but i'd rather be here playing my guitar in near-perfect silence recording songs to God any day than that deserted place. sometimes i wonder if silence really IS golden... it can be in a lotta cases.

kinda interesting watching my friends play Mahjong yesterday... hmm... Monopoly and/or Risk CAN take friendships apart... sorta... it can look kinda funny playing it with your friends. oh yeah, and it's been so long since i've played Super Smash Bros... Captain Falcon and Link are so fun to use.

friday's fun night was... interesting... the skit section was better last year, but i think other than that Alice did a very nice job of duplicating and even going beyond what we college freshmen tried last year. the skit might've been better if more ppl brought wacky props. that why last years' skit contest was better. but the poems were still very funny, probably the highlight IMO of the contests... esp our groups' fob poem :)

i am BLANK, pretty much unloaded all my thoughts just now...

nothing else satisfies me like worshipping God with all my heart... for this moment in time...

Friday, December 20, 2002

gonna love jamming with you God in the morning and afternoon... so please do me a favor and fan the flame, instead of snuffing it out. and oh yeah... please help get my ass outta bed at exactly 9 AM PST this friday... please.

-read "Case For Christ"
-jam w/God
-maybe read "Celebration of Discipline"

that'll be my top agendas for this friday.

nice... wes'll maybe help out w/bass for a song i record. that'll be cool.
i guess i'll start by griping about how cold my house is... completely forgot the natural coldness of my crib... my fingers are numb as i'm writing this, which means it's even harder to type. AND, i think i've got a headache.

finally got around to testing all the recording equipment i got from my church friends... works. i have a lot more to screw around with, cause it can mix very well, but i have to be able to fool around with it in order to get the volume of the electric guitar not to drown out my voice, yet still remain loud. also, i have to figure out how to convert it to .mp3 format. if i can figure it out even more, i might even be able to add some tambourines in there. but that'll be for any worship songs i can think up of.

TO's too funny... pom poms?!? hahah... I ROCK SO MUCH! I ROCK SO MUCH!

skiiping? jerm talk slower!
why does qq get so scared? and then there was the incident when jerm tried to freak her out...

way to spend your sunday... in a library, when you could've gone to church and hung out with mike.

ok, for the past 3 days, i went with sam, sarah, jon, norm, jerm, mike, alan, tim, eddie(laura sadly couldn't go w/us) to reno. what happened that was notable:
mon: woke up to hear that our trip was cancelled... went back to sleep, woke up to hear that we were going cause weather was improving. got 8x20 piece chicken nuggets for sharing between both suburbans, then took off. ended up going into the wrong lane at the toll bridge on the way to davis, so we ended up blowing $2. snow conditions when it started made it hecka hard to see. slowed down to 30 mph i think. sam pissed outside the suburban in the snow, got a cold dick, and got a fever the next day. then some guy got the stupid idea to check out boreal when it was snowed in, and we got stuck. massive peeing somewhere before reno... before THAT we ended up going into a weigh station by accident. @the rest stop i laughed at the bumper stickers they had up, some of them were funny. when we did get to reno we ate at some restaurant in the nugget(jerm got a 2.45 oj; if he had added 50 cents that would've been a meal) it's kinda funny, i ordered the fried catfish, and some of the others thought how maybe i just knew how to order stuff... jerm said from then on he would order whatever i ordered. we got back and slept. norm woke mike up @3 to tell him that he couldn't sleep :) jerm and norm sorta static-electrified each other and kinda pushed each other in their queen bed :) i chose the reclining couch, but didn't figure out it could recline that night, so i ended up getting up halfway through the night, propping up another chair, and sleeping like that, leg on one chair, body slouched in the couch.
tues: basically, the guys who were skiing left. leaving me, sam(he was sick), sarah, jerm, and mike. jerm's snoring went right through our room to wake sarah and sam up :) anyways, this was the first time i've seen sarah hang out with us without sam around, cause we went to breakfast and left sam in bed to come back later. got some apple cinnamon walnut french toast, which was very good. got back, and me, mike and jerm left for circus circus. ended up wasting $14 apiece, and too bad they closed off about 60% of the games. got 2 fishes, 1 pony and a bullemic bear from the chicken catapult game. some of the games there were interesting though...
fishing game... no matter what you got something, but the real good stuff was to get the rare red dish, and there was no time limit, so we just sat there looking like dorks waiting forever for a red disk... hahah, jon got the medium duck later that night, and got the Xtra large duck on wed... looks like there's something that we can beat tim at eh?
basket game... you toss a ball into a peach bucket... only jerm got this one for an ugly dog
roll the bowling ball... try to roll it so it rests in the dip... only mike got this one for a turdish beaver :) haha... i wanted that
roll the ball so it's +30 or -12... norm got this later that night for a huge bear...
drop the ball in the goblet... norm got this one INSTANTLY later that night for a seal
drop the ball in the shell... only i tried this one and got the pony later that night
we played a LOTTA racing games that night, which prob contributed to our huge loss of money... the camel, and esp the bingo game wasted money like crazy... all for a dogbee, but it was funny watching the guys play that game.
so basically later we head back and pick up sam and sarah... they were swimming... interesting... we joked about getting massages and facials and plain just ending up like women. ;) sam turns out doesn't want to ski that day, so we all go to johnny rockets for lunch then go to the nearby bowling alley to bowl... it was very slippery and long, but fun. sarah would throw these slow, but fairly accurate bowls down the lane, jerm would just drop his balls. i got maybe 4 strikes in our 2nd game, 2 of which were one right after the other on the 10th bowl.
later, we took the elevator down(hey, it's our cupertino library!) and took a look around... hmm... virtual golf arena, mini art gallery, huge candy factory(!), arcade(haha... mike wanted to challenge us to DDR, must be his game... incidently, i played Police 911 earlier), etc. by then it was 5:00 so we headed back to get the others so we could go to a buffet. we ended up taking 1 suburban and packing everyone in. at the buffet, there was so much meat and stuff. lamb, prime rib, ny steak, list goes on and on. good seafood too. too bad i couldn't eat more, it was good stuff. and don't worry, i didn't OD on meat, i know how to restrain myself.
played some circus circus, this time with everyone(we spent so much time on that bingo game), then went to bowl. it was pretty fun; a lotta weird bowling memories, like norm's between the legs. next time i bowl, i'll just remember to follow through more... i find i get better when i do that and don't do anything flashy, unlike others.
get back, and everyone's just farting... well, in our apartment... jerm and norm are just lighting up, but jon and mike are occasionally too. i'm... just glad i've got the couch :) chips... oh that is so cheezy... but FUNNY!
wed: basically, we first go to another buffet for brunch, then go back to circus circus. i'm not used to consuming mass quantities of food; i'm pretty sure i left my appetite in UCD. we go to boreal, meet up for 1 last time, take a picture, then head off. hahah... just when norman gets out of the suburban he slips on the ice and falls. :) and so we spent the last moments of our vacation... heading home.

-i'm done recaping... i can't think.

Saturday, December 14, 2002

i dunno whether to say i'm relieved that finals are over or not...

+now winter break starts... time to jam with my guitar like crazy... and RECORD what i jam... not to mention worship on sunday... it's gonna be great...
-i really want to redo my chem final, like restudy all over again, and maybe revise my SAS paper again... oh geez... God please answer my prayer or i am dead... so much about pre-med... and i seriously thought i had studied for it too... God, this is what i mean by giving me good study habits... i just don't have them... HEEELLLLP MEEEE!!!

Thursday, December 12, 2002

me: yea... haha... i played CS w/jerm yesterday and today morning :-)
wes: ohhh nice
wes: so the mouse is working quite nice eh?
me: yeah, it is
wes: u getting good?
me: somewhat...
wes: what was your best record
me: against newbies i get over 100% ratio of kills/deaths :-)
wes: haha
me: hey, you wanted my best record; it's against newbies, but you wanted it right?
wes: how about overall
wes: really?
me: ok... let's say on average i get about 25% ratio of kills/deaths
wes: i see
wes: not bad
me: yeah
me: y'kno in CS you can spraypaint on the ground or walls a certain design that you select in the options?
me: so i made one that has YLT on it :-)
wes: yep
wes: haha
me: now i'll just have to get a double kill and spray it :-)
wes: :-)
wes: i went like 24 n 8 once n bhd
me: nice...
me: i went like 1:22 the last time we played :-)
wes: since then ive been doin pretty good
me: the 1 being from that stray grenade i dropped
wes: hahaha
wes: dont worry i started out the same
me: but you had a mouse... that's already a sizeable advantage
me: newbie w/touchpad= free kill
wes: ahh thats with a touchpad..hehe didnt know
me: might as well have just played DOOM style: arrows and left hand fires
wes: :-P
more conversation fun on AIM...

grace: ricHARDDDDDDddddddd
me: hey whassap
me: decided it just wasn't fun anymore w/o someone making fun of ya?
grace: are u goooood at biology
me: oh, THAT... heh heh
me: um, maybe... what's your question?
grace: hahah
grace: ok.. its sorta long
me: it's ok... i'll either cut you off or listen the entire time... shoot :-)
(she asks a 2-part question and i answer the 1st part)
me: so i think that could answer question A
me: ... wait a minute... are you trying to mooch off of me?
grace: maybe...
grace: BUT U CAN MOOCh off of me!
me: ...cause if you are i'm logging off
me: oh... i can mooch off of a hmm... how to put this...
me: coughcoughdimwitchokegacksputter :-)
me: that just makes me feel SOOO much better :-)
me: tell you what... you tell me what you think the answer to question B is and i'll either tell you if it's right or wrong
me: i've already answered 1/2 of your questions
me: ... i bet you're not even trying... you're probably asking someone else now that i won't answer your 2nd question :-)
grace: hAHah faj;sldfj;alskj
grace: thANKS richhardd
me: see, trying to cover it up with your aldjadsj;lfdsjaldkjf
me: hey look i'm grace i talk like afjdk;ljdsa;fsj;
me: :-)
grace: hAHA nerdnERdnerd
me: hey... look who's got a guarenteed spot in UCD?
me: eh? eh?
me: i will be taunting your sorry ass in UCR if you don't figure out how to have good study habits soon :-)
grace: i HAVE GOOD STUDDY ahbits!
me: haha... which explains why you said you didn't last time?
grace: oh
grace: darnit!
grace: really
me: haha
me: please... stop making me roll around with laughter :-)
grace: HAH.. jfa;lskdfja;lsfa;ls bE NICE
me: i am nice... in a weird sarcastic way :-)
me: can't you picture me grinning as i'm writing this?
grace: no
grace: ahhahaha
grace: well yes
me: haha... see... don't you LOOVE that christmas spirit? of me grinning from mocking you?
grace: oooooof course
grace: ahhaah what're u doing
grace: when ju omcing back/
me: see, this is why you're going to UCR... i can't understand what the heck you just wrote :-)
me: now, can you rephrase that... in ENGLISH?
me: :-)
me: oooh... wait... when are you coming back... OOOH... ok... saturday afternoon... why, bored?
grace: OKKKK i dont tlka like that!!!
grace: i talk .. coherently
grace: moST OF hte itme
me: ...now i just DON'T GET WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING! do you mean most of the time, cause you wrote "most of hte itme" what the heck is "hte itme"? :-)
grace: well
grace: it means the time
grace: HAhah
getting better @CS... i had my moment today... down to 1 on 2... with an AK47... headshot the 1st CT, then strafed back and forth and gunned down the 2nd one for a 2-in-a-row kill, giving our team the win... jerm was watching since he was already dead... he was like "Go ReCharred!" haha... YLT? anyways, it's pretty fun playing CS w/jerm... and i guess i'm not a complete newbie, because i HAVE watched jon play for some time in UCD now :)

i have the weirdest CS config ever... it centers around the fact that i am left-handed and play electric guitar... thus my left-up/down-right is controlled by pinky-ring-middle... and i make use of the fact that i was given an optical mouse w/a wheel, so i reload with the wheel and toggle the 2nd weapon w/the wheel.

plan to create a YLT and nha un doc spraypaint for CS... also plan to record at least one of my songs over break...

also, just registered for my 4th class... i hope God was helping me when i was doing it, cause i have no idea if the electives i chose would be right for me.

talk later... gotta study... pray for me...

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

oh yeah... now Davis' bowling alley does keep track of your scores electronically, so that's cool... i still mainly go there to play MVC1 now, not bowl... but if you guys ever wanna... why not...

i am about 50% into my SAS essay, am kinda braindead about it though... it's due on saturday, and i can turn it in up to 6 pm... doubtful i'll want to stay that long in UCD though. my math final's done for, so it's just that and chem(i think i can say chem's about 50% done with)...

i would hope that God helps me not to forget him and to foster in me a desire to do the best i can with anything i do... i would also hope he gives me self-control in order to discern what is right from wrong, or what is better from what is worse.

someone pray for all the schoolers that we all know... we ALL need motivation to study... it's what gets the grades... i just want the motivation to learn...

problem w/me playing CS is that i get too panicky when i see more then 1 person at once and so i overaim the mouse... i could turn down the mouse sensitivity, but i think it's more due to my uncalmness that causes this.

i'll talk later... i can't really think right now, and need to study.

Monday, December 09, 2002

i'm doing better at CS- both at playing it, and capping my time :) btw, now everyone on my dorm floor wants to play with opposing force and blue shift :) chem study when i get back, then off to the MU

talked w/olivia today! heh heh, whoopdedoo...

olivia: richard, can i ask you what fuels ur faith?
me: um... hmm... a good worship song, maybe hope?
me: i've never been asked this question before, so i don't know how to answer you :-)
olivia: that's cool...
olivia: just wondering what keep u on track with God... or draws you to Him.. what makes you want to worship HIm?
me: umm... when something makes me stand in awe of him
me: that makes me wanna worship him
me: when someone offers some new insight that i haven't thought of before
me: that makes me get drawn closer to God
olivia: cool.
olivia: mee too.
me: and also when i can remind myself that i have something special in Christianity that nonbelievers don't, that also draws me closer to God
me: there's a lotta stuff that fuels my faith, those are just the general stuff
olivia: ... what gets you daily? Do you talk with jon? do you read? do you go and listen to sermons?
me: i sit and muddle
olivia: hm. :-)
olivia: muddle, eh?
me: yeap
olivia: i'm so glad that God meets you in your muddle time
olivia: :-)

Sunday, December 08, 2002

stupid hotmail won't let me in for the past 3 days... anyone else get this problem, or is it just me?

what i find interesting is basically after talking to jerm on the sermon down in riverside, is that:

-the end will come after all the nations have heard the gospel, then support for Israel will withdraw, and then read my other log of this day for more info...

what if you know God and have accepted Jesus, but sin RIGHT when Jesus comes? are we still taken into heaven? jerm asked me this and i didn't know how to respond... i would assume that Jesus would understand and STILL take you into heaven, but i dunno... still this fear... makes me occasionally get on my knees and ask for forgiveness from God cause i fear i don't have it right and might be taken right there.

this kindles an interest for me to start the later books of the old testament... imagine how much stuff has been predicted that has NOT occurred yet.

should we be worried? no, if you're a christian, then this promise applies:

Psalm 91:7-8: A thousand may come at your side, ten thousand at your right side, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
notes of the sermon @norm's church on 12.8.02... i think it was very interesting and bilical based... plz read my notes that i took... it will clear up a LOT of the questions about what happens near the end of the world.

Luke 21: End of the World Near?

Destruction of temple: parallel to Twin Towers?

What Jesus predicted turned out to be exactly true... think of when the temple was taken down stone by stone
So think of what will be fulfilled in the future that God predicted

Matthew 16:2-3- You can see the obvious, but you can't see the signs of the times, according to Jesus when he's talking to the stiff-minded ppl

You can't find out when Jesus will come back, but you always hear those rumors of when he will come

You can however see many signs of that time coming...

Israel- about 2x of Riverside, Zechariah 12:9
(when Jerusalem is surrounded by armies, the end is near... God wants to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem)

Ezekiel 36:22- God brought back the Jews although they were scattered amongst the nations

Ezekiel 36:28-30- Israel has become right

2nd sign: Ezekiel 38-39- Magog... no love for Israel... modern-day is Russia... marches against Israel w/allies(Persia?)

Ezekiel 38:8

Ezekiel 38:9-11

summary of events to end of world
---------------------------------
1st: Israel regathered- DONE
2nd: Israel dwells in confidence- DONE
3rd: Israel has hostile enemies- DONE
4th: Israel isolated; not yet... we the US still support them

as we have kept supporting Israel we would be blessed, but pressure is increasing to withdraw from Israel

after the conflict, God draws back the army, and Israel will mourn, and a revival will occur. he will then pour out his spirit upon Israel.

before this, the rapture will occur. it is not until we meet Christ before the following occurs...

Revolution 13:16-18
there is an antichrist who will come and draw others to himself. he will attempt a peace that supposedly end the conflict between Jews and Palestinians. then he comes up with the idea that someone only allowed to buy w/a mark.

think of the microchip that can be implanted in their skin...

you should be looking for CHRIST though, not the antichrist...
somebody pray for me... haven't gone to fellowship or church in Davis this week... not that i'm falling away from God(i feel like i'm communicating with him more than last year), but i've been going to sleep more later than before... so that totally ruins my strength to get up for church... i'm hoping that i will study and finish all my stuff before friday night so i can attend fellowship again...

haha... our live Math review session on TV looks like a cooking show... with letters substituted for ingredients... oh, lesse, we'll just add a dash of variable y to here(writes on equation on screen), then mix and take this over here, a little subtraction, and viola! we get the equation for a parabola!

i think i will be watching online church again tonight... given if i have the time...

must put a time cap on CS when i play, or i'll just run loose... it happened late last night, it could happen again.

oh yeah, i know we've wondered about this thought before; is God able to sin? i mean, he really is God, he can get away with it, can't he? and of course ppl will respond, "no, cause it goes against his nature." and then it goes back to the thought of his absolute power. so my answer to that is this: YES, God is able to sin, because he is able to do whatever he wants. BUT, he has a reputation to hold up, and because it's the very definition that defines him as the biblical God, he MUST hold up this image of him being a holy, righteous, just God, slow to anger, quick to forgive. basically, God wouldn't be called God if he sinned... he would have absolute power still, but he would NOT be called God. think about what would happen if God really did decide to sin... people would go, "oh, because God's able to sin, I can sin too... God's the creator of the universe and knows everything doesn't he?" if God did sin, then we could argue that atheists are right... because if what we define as a God doesn't match our God, then do we really have a God? but thank God that he's willing to hold up this definition of being a God, and because of that, we have hope...

stuff to do tonight:
finish studying for Math(shouldn't take too long)
write some more for SAS final paper
online church
write some notes on worship
and then when all's said and done... visit the MU for some MVC1 ass-whupping, maybe come back and play some CS